Amanda & Shmee
Member Since 2018
Hi everyone, I have not been on for quite a while so a lot probably don't recognize me, but I wanted to come here for those that have followed Shmee's story. About two weeks ago I made the decision to put my Shmee down.. In a nutshell, he had diabetes for a few years, found out he had acromegaly, went to NYC (I am in CLE) to get him pituitary gland removal surgery, his diabetes went away almost instantly, but he "was a new cat" I would say, and had some complications. His spunky, loving, goofy, playful, bird chasing, curious, unique personality was gone. It was an extremely hard time for me. I still have flashbacks to NYC and think I probably have some PTSD from it and after. I went to therapy, it helped a little. Fast forward a little, and he did get a little better and his loving personality did come back. Not in full swing, but he was there. He was loving again and cuddly. A year after his surgery his diabetes came back. Wasn't sure if it was acromegaly again and the tumor grew back, or if it was "regular diabetes" because he gained a lot of weight and never wanted to get up. In the end I think the tumor did end up growing back... because for the last few weeks he had neurological symptoms. It started off with very small head twitches that got more pronounced, and he got confused easily. The last few days I think it was progressing quickly.... he was incredibly anxious and could not lay down or sit still for more than 10-30 seconds... his eyes were very dilated. I upped his dose of gabapentin he was already on, and it didn't seem to help much unless he had a lot. The last new nights I slept on an air mattress in the living room with him because I was afraid he would fall off the bed with all the gaba he was on. You could tell he wanted to sleep so bad but couldn't. His confusion got worse and seemed like he was going downhill fast. With the gaba going way up and his confusion getting worse... I just felt so terrible for him that I had to do it. Plus my vet (a new one that treats cats only) said brain tumors can lead to seizures... his head switches were getting worse and I was terrified he would have a seizure. I 100% could not deal with that. I made the decision and we had an in-home vet come. She was very nice. I held him in my arms as he licked his favorite licky treats. He actually had a really good day that day... which sort of made this worse because it made me question my decision, even though for the most part I think it was the right thing. For the first time in almost a week he jumped up on his favorite chair and took a long nap, as well as a Feliway sprayed blanket on the floor. He was content.
To say I was attached to him is an understatement. I am 33 years old and he was 13. I have had him since he was a kitten. Before his surgery he used to be my "little spoon" and sleep with me every single night. After surgery he did eventually sleep with us more and more. I feel like I am grieving for the second time. I am so lonely without him. He was everything to me. I still can't believe this is real. This was really hard for me to write.
This message board truly saved me and Shmee. I cannot even put into words how much of a loving, genuine, and helpful community this is and how grateful I am for all of you. I will never forget meeting Jeff in NYC and so many other members checking in on us, and having somewhere to come that understands the love we have for our cats. It is something I will NEVER forget.. and I plan to keep checking back on everyone in the future.
It was hard to choose only 10 photos to attach - these are some of my favorites.
You can see the surgery thread for everyone that took their cats to AMC for the surgery here.
To say I was attached to him is an understatement. I am 33 years old and he was 13. I have had him since he was a kitten. Before his surgery he used to be my "little spoon" and sleep with me every single night. After surgery he did eventually sleep with us more and more. I feel like I am grieving for the second time. I am so lonely without him. He was everything to me. I still can't believe this is real. This was really hard for me to write.
This message board truly saved me and Shmee. I cannot even put into words how much of a loving, genuine, and helpful community this is and how grateful I am for all of you. I will never forget meeting Jeff in NYC and so many other members checking in on us, and having somewhere to come that understands the love we have for our cats. It is something I will NEVER forget.. and I plan to keep checking back on everyone in the future.
It was hard to choose only 10 photos to attach - these are some of my favorites.
You can see the surgery thread for everyone that took their cats to AMC for the surgery here.
It's the heartbreaking part of loving a pet.
