I would like to take the time to say
Thank You for your kind words and condolences, for taking the time to write to me privately also, for checking in on me….no words can accurately describe how humbling it is to receive such outpouring of love from you all…..I am forever grateful.
When Rocket and I began our journey with his multiple illnesses, I embarked also on my own journey in trying to learn as much as I could in order to provide the best I could offer him….I know he knew well how much he was loved. In signing up to the many support groups, I got to know so many people, caring folks like you who were also dealing with your own challenges in caring for your furbabies…and people got to know us….me and Rocket…and on my signature line (on the other boards) I always included Comet (the dog) for everyone to know that Rocket had a brother but not of his same kind. I was completely blown away (can’t find the right words to describe it) on how much love you guys have shown for my beloved Rocket….and the care and concern over Comet now dealing with his own illnesses. I appreciate it all….thank you.
In the days leading up to Rocket leaving me, I strongly believe that he was well aware that Comet was going to need me, and need the same love/care/attention that he received from me. He was selfless, for I know he was well in tune with what was going on at home and with Comet. It is as though he was saying to me that it was ok for him to leave me that Comet now needed me.
I stayed home on Friday after taking Comet to the ER the night before. I tried to get a few hours of sleep but at the same time I aimed at not only looking after Comet but also to see if Rocket was improving with the antibiotics now in his system. I noticed things had changed even from the night before.
That afternoon after Darren got home from work and I started to have the talk with him about making the arrangements I still kept a watchful eye on Rocket. Early evening arrived and I knew he was looking a bit more tired. Then I had the talk with him as he rested his head in my hand and I said to him that I knew he was getting tired of it all and that I was keeping my promise to him and that daddy had made the call and that we were just waiting for them to call us back and see if they could come the next day. I told him it was ok to be tired, but that I knew he would feel better soon.
As I held his head in my hand I went to place it on the floor (we were both on the floor) and as I’m about to get up I turned to him and I said “I made you a promise Rocket, mommy will make it alright for you”. He actually nodded as though to be in agreement. It was then that I knew our time together was up. My heart was truly broken but there was no time to waste. It was always about him and I wanted to make sure he knew how much I loved him. I told him I wouldn’t cry for the crying would come later after he was gone. We spent the entire night together. He ate, we cuddled and I kept on telling him we were waiting for a call back.
Saturday morning came and the phone rang. The vet that was to come home couldn’t make it and made the apt for Sunday instead. I rushed to talk to Rocket and told him that the lady couldn’t come that day but that she would make it all better for him the next day. I told him Saturday would be all about us two, and of course his daddy and brother. That we would spend time together as a family one last time.
I made sure Rocket got to have all the treats he hadn’t had or at least in the quantity and in one sitting as much as he got to enjoy them that day. He enjoyed cream cheese, ice cream, temptations, HC gravy, and dry food. I took joy in watching him eat knowing that at least he got to enjoy all of his favourites.
He got to spend time in the hallway, on his balcony, sitting next to me on the love seat watching tv. We cuddled and yes…he still gave me attitude…..he wanted things done HIS WAY….so I made sure it happened so…..
Rocket was a huge presence here at home…..our place seems so very empty without him…though Comet is still here with us….Rocket was the leader and it has been incredibly sad and upsetting to see Comet mourn the loss of his brother. He looked for him the first few days. A tough week for Comet too.
Rocket came home on Tuesday, Darren picked him up and said it was the hardest thing he’s ever done. But he took comfort in knowing Rocket was coming back to where he belonged.
I am heartbroken….but I know in my heart I did what was best for Rocket….I always put him ahead of everything even if it meant for me to be completely gutted and broken….
I miss him so much…..
I miss his smell, I miss his touch, I miss his look, I miss him, I miss him, I miss him…..
But I promised him I was going to be ok……I owe him that promise and I intend on keeping it…..
I have attached some pictures…..
Thank you for keeping me/ us in your thoughts and prayers…..it has meant so much to me/ us….
I will go away for a bit and when I find the strength I will come back to help out….I know there are people that need encouraging words or guidance and I promised Rocket I was not going to let the knowledge I gained thru dealing with his illnesses go to waste….that I would put it to good use to help others….is another promise I made to my beloved Rocket……..
Sincerely,
Claudia……forever missing my beloved Rocket, & Comet (the dog)
