billysmom (GA)
Member Since 2015
Monday night I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life to put my dear, sweet Billy Boy to sleep.
First a little about Billy Boy... I live in an older 4-plex turned condo. One day in Aug of 2009 a Black and white fluffy cat turned up and started hanging out in our yard. My neighbor mentioned, "I think we have a cat." He was a very friendly, laid back cat. After a bit I started feeding him while searching for his owners. I went out of town for a month and my neighbor continued to feed him. When I got back he was still there. I couldn't believe the owners weren't searching for him. He was so sweet and had obviously been loved. After a while, I decided he was my cat. It was meant to be. I took him to the vet and gave him a tune up
, bad teeth pulled, treated for fleas, shots, etc. From that time on he was my constant companion. He had no fear, he would just watch as dogs walked by, even raccoons didn't phase him. He followed me around the house and outside. He owned the yard. No cat dare trespass without Billy's permission. He would come when I called him. He slept with me almost every night and woke me every morning. He purred louder and more than any cat I've ever known. I could pick him up and put him in my lap or on the bed and he would stay and soak up the attention. He was a quiet cat but was very good at non-verbal communication. I cannot explain how special he was to me.
He had been off and on unwell for the last year, although the cause was unknown. His brush with diabetes was solved by changing his diet. However, he had lost a lot of weight. The last few weeks especially, he had not been quite right and his blood sugar had been spiking up. I had taken him to the vet the week previous and they gave him a B-12 shot and some fluids and I was to set up an appointment for an untrasound to check his kidneys and pancreas. I thought he had rounded the bend. His appetite was better, in fact Sunday night he ate about 9 oz. of food. But on Monday he was very lethargic and just slept all day. Monday evening he started panting. A trip to the emergency vet and x-rays showed substantial fluid around his lungs. The probable causes were cancer or heart failure. I could have had them drain the fluid and do more diagnostics but the prognosis for him surviving more than a short while were slim.
I did what I believe was best for him, but somehow I feel like I let him down. Intellectually I know I did all I could do for him but when I looked into his little innocent, trusting face I thought is there nothing else I can do? In the end I decided it would be selfish for me to put him through all of that only to prolong his life with little chance of him recovering. Years ago I had a cat that I had put through chemo and I have felt guilty for that ever since. I stayed while they gave Billy his sedative because I didn't want his last memory to be of strangers, but I couldn't bring myself to be present while they euthanized him. It was very hard for me not to tell them to do everything they could to save him. He left my life as he came, unexpectedly. I truly feel honored to have been Billy's mom.
Now my house is a very lonely place. I think it will be a while before I stop expecting to see him begging for food every time I fry bacon or bake chicken. He will be missed.
First a little about Billy Boy... I live in an older 4-plex turned condo. One day in Aug of 2009 a Black and white fluffy cat turned up and started hanging out in our yard. My neighbor mentioned, "I think we have a cat." He was a very friendly, laid back cat. After a bit I started feeding him while searching for his owners. I went out of town for a month and my neighbor continued to feed him. When I got back he was still there. I couldn't believe the owners weren't searching for him. He was so sweet and had obviously been loved. After a while, I decided he was my cat. It was meant to be. I took him to the vet and gave him a tune up
, bad teeth pulled, treated for fleas, shots, etc. From that time on he was my constant companion. He had no fear, he would just watch as dogs walked by, even raccoons didn't phase him. He followed me around the house and outside. He owned the yard. No cat dare trespass without Billy's permission. He would come when I called him. He slept with me almost every night and woke me every morning. He purred louder and more than any cat I've ever known. I could pick him up and put him in my lap or on the bed and he would stay and soak up the attention. He was a quiet cat but was very good at non-verbal communication. I cannot explain how special he was to me.He had been off and on unwell for the last year, although the cause was unknown. His brush with diabetes was solved by changing his diet. However, he had lost a lot of weight. The last few weeks especially, he had not been quite right and his blood sugar had been spiking up. I had taken him to the vet the week previous and they gave him a B-12 shot and some fluids and I was to set up an appointment for an untrasound to check his kidneys and pancreas. I thought he had rounded the bend. His appetite was better, in fact Sunday night he ate about 9 oz. of food. But on Monday he was very lethargic and just slept all day. Monday evening he started panting. A trip to the emergency vet and x-rays showed substantial fluid around his lungs. The probable causes were cancer or heart failure. I could have had them drain the fluid and do more diagnostics but the prognosis for him surviving more than a short while were slim.
I did what I believe was best for him, but somehow I feel like I let him down. Intellectually I know I did all I could do for him but when I looked into his little innocent, trusting face I thought is there nothing else I can do? In the end I decided it would be selfish for me to put him through all of that only to prolong his life with little chance of him recovering. Years ago I had a cat that I had put through chemo and I have felt guilty for that ever since. I stayed while they gave Billy his sedative because I didn't want his last memory to be of strangers, but I couldn't bring myself to be present while they euthanized him. It was very hard for me not to tell them to do everything they could to save him. He left my life as he came, unexpectedly. I truly feel honored to have been Billy's mom.
Now my house is a very lonely place. I think it will be a while before I stop expecting to see him begging for food every time I fry bacon or bake chicken. He will be missed.
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