Wow, Carolyn, you are certainly NO slacker! I'm new here, my cat only diagnosed jan 2 of this year, and I'm already feeling exhausted and stressed out with the whole process. you have TWO? to deal with, plus all the other stuff going on? Just know that your cats are alive BECAUSE of you and you can't beat yourself up about it all. I can't offer much advice re doses etc.etc. but it sure sounds like YOU could use a little TLC. I hope you are feeling better soon. It IS a hugely stressful deal and I agree, those that don't have cats, or don't understand what is involved, really can't understand or be supportive. That's why we have this place to come and whine and cry to. don't feel bad. The more you beat yourself up the less help you'll be for your kitties. And what a wonderful thing to do to try and help Spock. It does sound like you have rather a lot on your plate at the moment. I hope thngs settle down and you get some good advice from the more experienced people here. I hear your frustration, must be doubly so having had a cat go into remission and then relapse. Even harder when it seems like the one cat you are trying so hard to take care of, isn't really that appreciative of your efforts.
as I said, not much I can offer other than sympathy and yes, a smack up side of the head, not for being a slacker but for being so down on yourself! ohmygod_smile