GA Mikan's departure 12/30

Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
Diane - oh Diane.
This has been so hard. So incredibly painful.
I miss her so much. I'm still constantly looking for her, trying to check on her in her usual hangout places. So silly, but it's automatic. I can't help it.
I'm trying to tell myself that Mikan's beyond pain and discomfort now. She's free. But gosh, it's just so hard.
I'm making a picture book of her. I also ordered a necklace with a little tube thing that I can put her fur in there to wear around. I just have to have something that I can feel she's still with me.
Time will probably ease sadness a bit but I don't think pain will ever go away completely. I guess that's the price we pay for loving someone so much. But it's been my honor to look after my precious Mikan. I was such a lucky kitty mom.

Wishing and your family a wonderful New Year, Diane! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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When Tyler passed every time I went out and came home I would say to myself let me make sure Tyler isn't by the door ready to make a run for it into the hallway. That went on for awhile. It is true having FD made me so much closer to Tyler . Same thing when I had to let Perry go.
I was so angry , that I had to get rid of Tyler's bed and litter box the next day
Crying while I was doing that and cursing that he had cancer , same with Perry with the kidney disease. Sometimes when I'm out I say to myself let me go check on Tyler . The pain never goes away but I try and think of all the good times we had , things he did that made me laugh . I did keep some of his favorite toys and pieces of both Tyler and Perry's hair.
Like you I know they are not in pain anymore.
It will take time but the pain will ease up . I think of Perry and Tyler every day. You did everything you could for Mikan and I'm sure she knew how much you loved her .
I myself don't think I will ever get another kitty. I just wouldn't be able to take the pain anymore if I had to let another one go. There will never be another Tyler or Perry for me. Please take care of yourself my friend , we all love you :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
Wishing you and your family a Happy and Healthy New Year. It's terrible to say but for me it's just another day. I still can't believe my Ashley is gone .
I am still angry that she had to get that terrible disease. Have been crying so much lately
@Mikanmama (Mikan GA)
 
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Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
Hi Alicia,
Thank you for your kind words.
I know you know the pain of this. This is just so hard, isn't it.
I miss her so much, so painfully. But I try to think that she is beyond pain and suffering now.


Maybe Mikan is now playing with Kitcat. Probably trash-talking about us :rolleyes:

Wishing you, Eric and your family a happy New Year! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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:bighug::bighug::bighug:
A friend shared with me the box method of grief, not sure if you've seen it, but it has helped in the last month.
https://miraclesinc.wordpress.com/2...ke-a-ball-in-a-box-lauren-herschels-metaphor/

And honestly, wouldn't surprise me if they're up their being sassy.
I also hope you're getting some rest. ❤️❤️
 
Diane Tyler's Mom GA said:
When Tyler passed every time I went out and came home I would say to myself let me make sure Tyler isn't by the door ready to make a run for it into the hallway. That went on for awhile. It is true having FD made me so much closer to Tyler . Same thing when I had to let Perry go.
I was so angry , that I had to get rid of Tyler's bed and litter box the next day
Crying while I was doing that and cursing that he had cancer , same with Perry with the kidney disease. Sometimes when I'm out I say to myself let me go check on Tyler . The pain never goes away but I try and think of all the good times we had , things he did that made me laugh . I did keep some of his favorite toys and pieces of both Tyler and Perry's hair.
Like you I know they are not in pain anymore.
It will take time but the pain will ease up . I think of Perry and Tyler every day. You did everything you could for Mikan and I'm sure she knew how much you loved her .
I myself don't think I will ever get another kitty. I just wouldn't be able to take the pain anymore if I had to let another one go. There will never be another Tyler or Perry for me. Please take care of yourself my friend , we all love you :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
Wishing you and your family a Happy and Healthy New Year. It's terrible to say but for me it's just another day. I still can't believe my Ashley is gone .
I am still angry that she had to get that terrible disease. Have been crying so much lately
@Mikanmama (Mikan GA)
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Diane,
I totally get it. I had to put the FD items away that evening - I organized everything into a pink plastic tool box. I couldn't bear to see it. There are freeze dry treats only Mikan would eat in the air tight bins. I had to throw them all away. I couldn't have them around. But there are so many triggers. Too many things that remind me of Mikan, and the fact she's gone. I've been going through her pictures to make a photo book. Somehow, looking at her pictures seems to trick my brain and I feel calmer and more in peace. Once the necklace comes, I'll put her fur in the tiny tube to wear it at all times. I need her with me.

I have three other kitties, Mikan's sibs. They are all doing well, thank goodness. I have to stay strong for them. I want them to have the best lives they can. Diane, you are such a warm-hearted, caring person. I totally understand how you feel about another kitty. But sometimes, things happen. A kitty may just find you - if that happens, let it come. Go with the flow, my friend. I know losing one is devastatingly painful, but many kitties need a person like you, Diane. Of course, your choice, but don't close the door completely. :)

I can't believe it's 2025 now. I was so ready and already had the spreadsheet ready for Mikan. Gosh, I miss her. I miss caring for her.

Diane, I hope we both will have a wonderful year. We must. Let us try at it!

XOXO :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Alicia & Kit cat (GA) said:
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
A friend shared with me the box method of grief, not sure if you've seen it, but it has helped in the last month.
https://miraclesinc.wordpress.com/2...ke-a-ball-in-a-box-lauren-herschels-metaphor/

And honestly, wouldn't surprise me if they're up their being sassy.
I also hope you're getting some rest. ❤️❤️
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Thanks Alicia. That's really interesting.
Right now, my thing is like a giant ragged rock. Hopefully, it'll start smoothing itself to a round ball and then shrink down.

It's funny. There were so many mornings I wished I could sleep longer. I still wake up at the same time for her AMPS test and can't seem to sleep in, no matter how hard I try.
It takes time to get adjusted back, I suppose.

Hope you are having a great holiday vacation back home. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Ohhhhh Kit <3 <3 <3 My heart is shuttered to pieces with you.
Oh Kit. I know how much you loved Mikan. She was such a colourful character. How she amused us and and grew our hair grey every day with her trampoline. How she loved her free dive only to surprise you with a serene green surf.

I'm wiring these barely seeing the screen from tears. I wish I was there to hug you in person. But I'm grateful that I got to know you thanks to Mikan. She'll be forever etched on my heart.

Mikan was blessed to have you and you were blessed to have Mikan. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you now.
You are such an amazing mum to Mikan. I can hear her sign with gratitude for you.

I send you so much love and warm hugs:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Fistuk & Shelly said:
Ohhhhh Kit <3 <3 <3 My heart is shuttered to pieces with you.
Oh Kit. I know how much you loved Mikan. She was such a colourful character. How she amused us and and grew our hair grey every day with her trampoline. How she loved her free dive only to surprise you with a serene green surf.

I'm wiring these barely seeing the screen from tears. I wish I was there to hug you in person. But I'm grateful that I got to know you thanks to Mikan. She'll be forever etched on my heart.

Mikan was blessed to have you and you were blessed to have Mikan. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you now.
You are such an amazing mum to Mikan. I can hear her sign with gratitude for you.

I send you so much love and warm hugs:bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Hi Shelly,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
You are such a warm person - what you said meant so much to me.
It's been very hard - I miss Mikan so much. Living with FD for 2 years made our bond so tight. She has been on my mind for most of my waking hours.
My eyes look for her, my hands yearn for her silky fur, and my ears miss her meows.
I'm doing a bit better today than yesterday - but little things trigger me. Grief comes in waves, it seems.
But I'm grateful for the bond we had, the time we spent together, and the love we shared. What a privilege it was.

I hope 2025 will be a fantastic year for you, your family, Fistuk and Prince. Sending you love :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
I've been going through her pictures to make a photo book. Somehow, looking at her pictures seems to trick my brain and I feel calmer and more in peace. Once the necklace comes, I'll put her fur in the tiny tube to wear it at all times. I need her with me.
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Thinking of you, Kit. It warms my heart to know that you are making a photo book for Mikan. Designing books is what I do for a living, and it's what I did when I lost my Chulo 3 years ago. Putting his image and those memories into a permanent form helped to bring comfort and eventually peace. I still miss him, of course, but that book is a special place where I can spend time with him until we meet again. I hope your project will help heal your heart too. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Karen and Chispa said:
Thinking of you, Kit. It warms my heart to know that you are making a photo book for Mikan. Designing books is what I do for a living, and it's what I did when I lost my Chulo 3 years ago. Putting his image and those memories into a permanent form helped to bring comfort and eventually peace. I still miss him, of course, but that book is a special place where I can spend time with him until we meet again. I hope your project will help heal your heart too. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Hi Karen,
I found it very interesting that while looking through Mikan's photos (thousands of them!), I feel calmer. A little break from this painful grief.
I wonder if the visual input of Mikan triggers my brain to release some substance to sooth me.
It's like medicine. For now, I am dependent on it.
It's comforting to hear that you have done the same.
Such a small creature yet takes up such a big part of our hearts.
So strange that the house feels emptier and quieter - Mikan wasn't a very vocal girl. Yet, it almost feels eerie quiet.
Give Chispa extra scritches from me. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
Hi Karen,
I found it very interesting that while looking through Mikan's photos (thousands of them!), I feel calmer. A little break from this painful grief.
I wonder if the visual input of Mikan triggers my brain to release some substance to sooth me.
It's like medicine. For now, I am dependent on it.
It's comforting to hear that you have done the same.
Such a small creature yet takes up such a big part of our hearts.
So strange that the house feels emptier and quieter - Mikan wasn't a very vocal girl. Yet, it almost feels eerie quiet.
Give Chispa extra scritches from me. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Kit, I know just what you mean. Their beauty brings joy, and maybe that's what calms us when we look at their pictures? In any case, I'm glad it gives you a little respite. It is not easy.
I have been giving Chispa extra scritches, and she appreciates them -- thank you. We both send big hugs :bighug::cat::bighug:
 
Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
Hi Christine,
Thank you for your kind words and also the friendship during our FD journey.
I miss her so much and I have been a useless mess since. I know I have to be strong for the other three kitties - how can these little beasts take up so much space in our hearts? Sneaky things!
It was such a special time and a special bond I shared with my precious Mikan. I consider myself very very fortunate. But Gosh, I miss her.

Wishing you, Jack and the rest of the gang a very happy new year! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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I did not realize Mikan had more than Yuz as furry family. I pray you all find peace....it's so very hard on the entire family when one leaves. Sending you much love and many hugs:bighug:
 
Karen and Chispa said:
Kit, I know just what you mean. Their beauty brings joy, and maybe that's what calms us when we look at their pictures? In any case, I'm glad it gives you a little respite. It is not easy.
I have been giving Chispa extra scritches, and she appreciates them -- thank you. We both send big hugs :bighug::cat::bighug:
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Thanks Karen!
Mikan also sends her gratitude.
One of my favorite pic.
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Jack & Mopem'sMom said:
I did not realize Mikan had more than Yuz as furry family. I pray you all find peace....it's so very hard on the entire family when one leaves. Sending you much love and many hugs:bighug:
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Hi Christine,
Yep, we are a big family (not as big as yours...)
I know I have to be stronger for them than I am right now.
They have been strangely cringy lately.
Much appreciated hugs - I needed them. Thank you :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Deb and Tiger said:
Oh Kit I am so sorry. I know how much you loved each other and she will be in your heart forever…..sleep well little girl.
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Hi Deb,
Thank you for your kind words.
Mikan was a sweet girl.
Her FD care made us even closer in the past two years.
I miss her so much. But I remind myself how lucky I was to have her. She was a special one.
Wishing you and Tiger wonderful 2025! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Jason - Kona's Dad said:
:( My heart is broken... sweet, sweet Mikan. :( Feel like I've followed her journey for years and years.

She was such a beautiful kitty, I have to repost and make the picture larger.
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Fly high! :rb_icon:cat_wings>o

Love, Kona and Jason :bighug:
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Hi Jason,
Awww - thanks for reposting her picture. This is one of my favorite pictures and currently the wallpaper of my phone.
Mikan and I were so close; we spent so much time together. I counted the number of testing I've done on her - 6286 times in the SS. Every one of those, I was holding her. No wonder my hands still yearn for her.
She came back home yesterday. I keep stroking the box and talking to her. Somehow, it calms me down.
I hope 2025 will be a fantastic year for you and Kona, Jason! :bighug::bighug::bighug:

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Karen and Chispa said:
This is beautiful, Kit. 6286 memories of care and trust in the last two years alone.
I’m glad your sweet girl has come home. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thanks Karen!
Having her come home made me feel better.
I put her picture and box near the door so I could say, I'm off, Mikan, see you later! and I'm home, Mikan!
Trying to ease my way towards the new normal, I suppose.
Hope you and Chispa are having a nice day! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
Mikan crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday at about 6pm MST.

In recent weeks, Mikan exhibited more behaviors indicative of something wrong. Her appetite was very variable - not wanting to eat much or at all at the preshot, only to eat later at +2~+4 like she had been starving. She was still very affectionate, seeking attention and purring when I held her for testing. Then, she went down the hill very rapidly. It was clear to us that something very sinister was underlying all this. The vet thought it may have been renal failure. We suspected a tumor, perhaps metastasizing to her brain. Either way, her decline was very rapid and clearly terminal. We decided to let her go.

We had a vet who specialized in palliative care come to the house to help her through the process. At that point, she was barely responsive. I held her in my arms throughout the process. It was peaceful.

But I am utterly at a loss. My heart is broken into a million pieces.

Mikan has always been a mama's girl. Since her FD diagnosis 2 years ago, we have become even closer. It has been a rough journey for both of us.

I want to thank the forum for helping us manage her FD. I want to express my deep appreciation to the forum's moderators for keeping this place available for us. At the beginning of our FD journey, I was very naive and scared about the whole thing. I would not have gotten through this without @Bandit's Mom gentle guidance. Thank you. And all the experienced members, @Angela & Cleo, @tiffmaxee, @Wendy&Nekom @Bron and Sheba (GA), thank you for sharing your wisdom.

And my friends. Through each other's posts and comments, I feel like you and your kitties are my family. @Staci & Ivy, @Alicia & Kit cat, @Jack & Mopem'sMom, @Fistuk & Shelly, @Karolina KJ & Nestle, @Diane Tyler's Mom GA, @Heather & Shooter, @carfurby (GA), @Karen and Chispa, @Deb and Sylvester, @bluesunshine @Jason - Kona's Dad, thank you for your kindness and support.


I wish all of you and your kitties a healthy and happy new year.

Kit and Mikan forever (02/28/2017-12/29/2024)
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I am new here but understand the pain you’re going through and am so sorry for your loss. Helping them go peacefully is the last act of love we do for them, but it is so very hard, I know. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
 
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Staci & Ivy said:
She’s just such a beauty, Kit. She will forever be in our hearts :cat::kiss::cat:
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Thanks Staci!
I just love looking at her pictures, makes me calmer - so many around the house now. The house is becoming Mikan Shrine :)
My Mikan necklace finally came! I was able to put her fur in this tiny tube! I'm loving it.
 

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wade said:
I am new here but understand the pain you’re going through and am so sorry for your loss. Helping them go peacefully is the last act of love we do for them, but it is so very hard, I know. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
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Thank you Wade for your kind words.
Mikan was a very very special girl and I miss her so much.
Best wishes for your FD journey with Booboo. I know how overwhelming it feels but with time, everything becomes easier. And the people here are wonderful. I am forever grateful for all the support I got throughout our journey. :bighug:
 
Mikanmama (Mikan GA) said:
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Thanks Staci!
I just love looking at her pictures, makes me calmer - so many around the house now. The house is becoming Mikan Shrine :)
My Mikan necklace finally came! I was able to put her fur in this tiny tube! I'm loving it.
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Awwww. I’m so glad you have her close. The necklace is so special. I love that you are surrounding yourself with many wonderful memories of beloved Mikan :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
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