Miss Mew
Member Since 2021
Hello everyone, you can call me Mew or Missy I guess, either is fine. My sweet boy, Leon (M/neutered), is nearly 11 y/o and was just diagnosed with diabetes yesterday. I have been completely beside myself. I know these feelings of sadness and overwhelm are common, but I truly am not coping well at all - I'm talking full-blown depression mode, spent all day sleeping and only getting up to care for my kitties/do the bare minimum for myself, crying constantly when awake, etc. I hope that reaching out to this community will help bring me some peace so that I can prepare to handle this as best as possible.
His symptoms started back in April when I noticed that the water bowl was going empty faster, but with 2 cats it was difficult to tell who was responsible. It seemed like he was at the bowl more frequently though. I started to measure out the exact amount of water they were given daily and it didn't exceed what I had read as "normal" so I chalked it up to the warmer weather we were getting. Then the issue seemed to taper off entirely within a couple weeks and the water consumption went back to normal.
Around the same time, I noticed he felt a bit lighter. I'll mention now that Leon's always been a BIG boy - his weight has hovered around 16lbs his whole adult life. He is built large in general and, while a bit tubby, he carried the weight well and vets never mentioned concerns over his size. Nonetheless, the initial weight loss was so subtle and I figured he could afford to lose a bit so I wasn't immediately alarmed by this. He is getting older, afterall, so I assumed that it was likely from that.
For the next month and a half his weight seemed stable, but recently he has begun to feel much lighter and (trying my best to weigh him with our human scale) he was losing more weight at an alarming rate. My big guy is now down to 13lbs which looks quite skinny on him. I was a bit worried before, but this confirmed to me that something more than age/weather change was at play.
Additionally, I had noticed no changes in his appetite which made his weight loss more bewildering. If anything, he seemed more impatient for meal time and was begging for table scraps more incessantly. He has always been a big food hound so I didn't immediately notice anything until he started vocalizating more. He has been a quiet cat his whole life so it really stood out to me when he began meowing lots in between or right before meals.
I scheduled the soonest appointment I could get, which wasn't going to be until August 3rd. At first, I wanted to try a new vet since my old one is further away after relocating their office. But I started doing research into these symptoms and became sick with worry from what I read (I suspected hyperthyroid at first, and oh how I wish it was only that now). I ended up calling the old vet and they were thankfully able to squeeze him in sooner.
They saw him on Tuesday, took blood/urine samples, and called me back today to confirm he has diabetes. They didn't mention any other issues, or go into any additional details with me such as his prognosis, specific numbers or care instructions. They simply told me to schedule another appointment where they'll show me how to do the insulin injections. This appointment won't be until the 29th, I don't know if I should take it as a good sign that the vet is fine with waiting until then.
Anyways, that is the story thus far. I'm obviously feeling extremely lost right now, I've been trying to do my research but everything just sounds so scary, overwhelming, and confusing. I fear that I am the worst possible person cut out for this job, and I'm just wracked with guilt and fear that I'm not going to handle any of this correctly. Let me delve into some personal issues, if that's fine, because it's all very relevant to the situation at hand.
I am a 29y/o woman who only moved out of my parent's last year. I live with my long-term girlfriend and, without her, I would absolutely still be living at home. The reason being is that I have my own physical disability; I was born with a degenerative eye condition that rendered me legally blind by early adulthood. While I can see, my vision is low enough to prevent me from driving, working, etc., and I live on SSI benefits which keep me basically below poverty. I'm legally not even allowed to have over $2000 so I have virtually zero savings. I am obviously very worried about my ability to afford care for a diabetic cat.
My second biggest concern is my ability to give injections. Poor vision aside, I also have a severe needlephobia to the point that the sight of them alone makes me dizzy and sick. I have fainted from needles before and injured myself badly in the process, which has been quite traumatic. Even now, if I must get a needle of any kind, I need to mildly sedate myself with a benzo and take multiple precautions not to faint. I'm just trying to get the point across because so many people dismiss my phobia as "just in your head, mind over matter!" when if it were that simple I would have certainly been over it by now.
Thankfully, my girlfriend has no problems with needles - she works in a hospital and has even done injections on herself. I felt immense guilt asking if she'll help me with the insulin shots, since Leon is my cat, but she said that of course she would. She's only concerned about what would happen if she's working a 12-hr shift or is otherwise unavailable to help in time. I do also have my parents down the road, and they are capable of giving injections if needed. I just feel so awful that its something I feel unable to do, and insecure about what to do in an emergency. I'm not writing off the possibility that perhaps I will end up learning to do it, but right now it seems unthinkable given my severe reactions to needles.
Furthermore, I really feel like a mess of a person to put it all bluntly. Having a physical disability is enough, but then I am plagued with a host of mental health issues including severe anxiety and Adhd. I am in therapy and on Adderall, but its a daily battle for me and I struggle hard to keep a routine. I'm prone to random periods of either insomnia or oversleeping, so my sleep schedule is often erratic. I feel so inept and afraid that I will make one little mistake with treating my beloved cat and it will have severe consequences for him.
Perhaps to my benefit, I am stuck at home most the time. It would be nice to know if I can still have fun outings or date nights with my girlfriend, however. I do wonder if this is going to further limit my ability to have any sort of life outside my apartment, when I already feel trapped indoors with my inability to drive and all. The is a lesser concern on my list, but one I have nonetheless.
I am beyond grateful that my girlfriend and my parents are being supportive and offering to help in any way they can. I just wonder if it will be enough. The financial expenses are, again, a huge concern of mine. After paying my share of rent/utilities, I generally have ~$450/mo left for my personal needs, supplies for 2 healthy cats, and perhaps some spare money for a luxury or two. My partner's salary keeps us afloat, but it isn't spectacular and she has her own medical expenses to save for right now. Our apartment is still heavily unfurnished over a year later because the lack of money.
And yes, I have a second cat so that's a whole other stress factor. She is thankfully healthy but I am already fussing over what would happen if she became ill as well, seeing how quickly these things happen. Frankly, I was a young ignorant teen when I got both these guys and I was certainly not planning for stuff like this. But they are still my responsibility, and I can't just give up. They are the sweetest cats I've ever known and mean everything to me, more than I can explain. My heart feels shattered into a billion pieces right now, and I can't stop thinking of the worst case scenarios.
I'm sorry to write an entire essay and for all the personal stuff, but I just deeply need to explain my predicament and what I am up against. I guess I am praying for some advice or reassurance that this isn't completely out of my scope. I've been trying to read some of the links provided around here but I get overwhelmed quickly and can only take so much in right now.
His symptoms started back in April when I noticed that the water bowl was going empty faster, but with 2 cats it was difficult to tell who was responsible. It seemed like he was at the bowl more frequently though. I started to measure out the exact amount of water they were given daily and it didn't exceed what I had read as "normal" so I chalked it up to the warmer weather we were getting. Then the issue seemed to taper off entirely within a couple weeks and the water consumption went back to normal.
Around the same time, I noticed he felt a bit lighter. I'll mention now that Leon's always been a BIG boy - his weight has hovered around 16lbs his whole adult life. He is built large in general and, while a bit tubby, he carried the weight well and vets never mentioned concerns over his size. Nonetheless, the initial weight loss was so subtle and I figured he could afford to lose a bit so I wasn't immediately alarmed by this. He is getting older, afterall, so I assumed that it was likely from that.
For the next month and a half his weight seemed stable, but recently he has begun to feel much lighter and (trying my best to weigh him with our human scale) he was losing more weight at an alarming rate. My big guy is now down to 13lbs which looks quite skinny on him. I was a bit worried before, but this confirmed to me that something more than age/weather change was at play.
Additionally, I had noticed no changes in his appetite which made his weight loss more bewildering. If anything, he seemed more impatient for meal time and was begging for table scraps more incessantly. He has always been a big food hound so I didn't immediately notice anything until he started vocalizating more. He has been a quiet cat his whole life so it really stood out to me when he began meowing lots in between or right before meals.
I scheduled the soonest appointment I could get, which wasn't going to be until August 3rd. At first, I wanted to try a new vet since my old one is further away after relocating their office. But I started doing research into these symptoms and became sick with worry from what I read (I suspected hyperthyroid at first, and oh how I wish it was only that now). I ended up calling the old vet and they were thankfully able to squeeze him in sooner.
They saw him on Tuesday, took blood/urine samples, and called me back today to confirm he has diabetes. They didn't mention any other issues, or go into any additional details with me such as his prognosis, specific numbers or care instructions. They simply told me to schedule another appointment where they'll show me how to do the insulin injections. This appointment won't be until the 29th, I don't know if I should take it as a good sign that the vet is fine with waiting until then.
Anyways, that is the story thus far. I'm obviously feeling extremely lost right now, I've been trying to do my research but everything just sounds so scary, overwhelming, and confusing. I fear that I am the worst possible person cut out for this job, and I'm just wracked with guilt and fear that I'm not going to handle any of this correctly. Let me delve into some personal issues, if that's fine, because it's all very relevant to the situation at hand.
I am a 29y/o woman who only moved out of my parent's last year. I live with my long-term girlfriend and, without her, I would absolutely still be living at home. The reason being is that I have my own physical disability; I was born with a degenerative eye condition that rendered me legally blind by early adulthood. While I can see, my vision is low enough to prevent me from driving, working, etc., and I live on SSI benefits which keep me basically below poverty. I'm legally not even allowed to have over $2000 so I have virtually zero savings. I am obviously very worried about my ability to afford care for a diabetic cat.
My second biggest concern is my ability to give injections. Poor vision aside, I also have a severe needlephobia to the point that the sight of them alone makes me dizzy and sick. I have fainted from needles before and injured myself badly in the process, which has been quite traumatic. Even now, if I must get a needle of any kind, I need to mildly sedate myself with a benzo and take multiple precautions not to faint. I'm just trying to get the point across because so many people dismiss my phobia as "just in your head, mind over matter!" when if it were that simple I would have certainly been over it by now.
Thankfully, my girlfriend has no problems with needles - she works in a hospital and has even done injections on herself. I felt immense guilt asking if she'll help me with the insulin shots, since Leon is my cat, but she said that of course she would. She's only concerned about what would happen if she's working a 12-hr shift or is otherwise unavailable to help in time. I do also have my parents down the road, and they are capable of giving injections if needed. I just feel so awful that its something I feel unable to do, and insecure about what to do in an emergency. I'm not writing off the possibility that perhaps I will end up learning to do it, but right now it seems unthinkable given my severe reactions to needles.
Furthermore, I really feel like a mess of a person to put it all bluntly. Having a physical disability is enough, but then I am plagued with a host of mental health issues including severe anxiety and Adhd. I am in therapy and on Adderall, but its a daily battle for me and I struggle hard to keep a routine. I'm prone to random periods of either insomnia or oversleeping, so my sleep schedule is often erratic. I feel so inept and afraid that I will make one little mistake with treating my beloved cat and it will have severe consequences for him.
Perhaps to my benefit, I am stuck at home most the time. It would be nice to know if I can still have fun outings or date nights with my girlfriend, however. I do wonder if this is going to further limit my ability to have any sort of life outside my apartment, when I already feel trapped indoors with my inability to drive and all. The is a lesser concern on my list, but one I have nonetheless.
I am beyond grateful that my girlfriend and my parents are being supportive and offering to help in any way they can. I just wonder if it will be enough. The financial expenses are, again, a huge concern of mine. After paying my share of rent/utilities, I generally have ~$450/mo left for my personal needs, supplies for 2 healthy cats, and perhaps some spare money for a luxury or two. My partner's salary keeps us afloat, but it isn't spectacular and she has her own medical expenses to save for right now. Our apartment is still heavily unfurnished over a year later because the lack of money.
And yes, I have a second cat so that's a whole other stress factor. She is thankfully healthy but I am already fussing over what would happen if she became ill as well, seeing how quickly these things happen. Frankly, I was a young ignorant teen when I got both these guys and I was certainly not planning for stuff like this. But they are still my responsibility, and I can't just give up. They are the sweetest cats I've ever known and mean everything to me, more than I can explain. My heart feels shattered into a billion pieces right now, and I can't stop thinking of the worst case scenarios.
I'm sorry to write an entire essay and for all the personal stuff, but I just deeply need to explain my predicament and what I am up against. I guess I am praying for some advice or reassurance that this isn't completely out of my scope. I've been trying to read some of the links provided around here but I get overwhelmed quickly and can only take so much in right now.
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Many of us went through a really hard transition at the start of this, but it sounds like you’ve got some extra hurdles to deal with and I’m very sorry. 
The pee clumps had been massive and sticking to my litterbox/scoop awfully. Yesterday was the first time in a hot minute that I didn't completely curse my existence scooping the box.