Prayers Pls - Saoirse Intraocular Bleed - SUNDAY UPDATE: Nausea Reduced, Eating Again, Eyelids Puffy

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Thank you for sharing your strength with me, Julia. :bighug: Thank you all. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:


I would not be vertical right now without all you're doing to help me help my baby.
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Hugs it is an honor to be of help that is why we are here is to help each other and our fur children...Thank you for allowing me into help you!
 
You might be struggling, but you're winning. You're still here, you're still awake and watching over Saoirse. We can support all we like but you're the one right there on the front line and you're doing this. :bighug:
 
Hugs your more than welcome, what time does your vet open there and do you have a ride to get there??
 
You might not be here physically, April, but you're all very much with me on the front line. :bighug:

I'm really worried about the next 90 minutes. Being 'nearly there' I'm petrified that my subconscious will drop its guard, the adrenalin will shut off and I'll pass out. Bit like when you only have one stop to go on a train or bus and you nod off.
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Critter Mom said:
Being 'nearly there' I'm petrified that my subconscious will drop its guard, the adrenalin will shut off and I'll pass out.
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You won't. Not today. Remember, 10 minutes at a time...just stay alert for 10 more minutes. You're so nearly there the time will start going quicker now.
 
Julia Rae said:
Hugs your more than welcome, what time does your vet open there and do you have a ride to get there??
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They open at 8:30 am. I can't get transport because all the local taxis will be doing school runs at that time.

The vet wanted me to bring Saoirse in at 9:30 am, but I think I'm going to have to bring her in earlier than that. I hate the thought of leaving her at the vets while they do the diagnostics. Maybe they'd be calmer around her than me at the moment?

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I would take her as soon as they open if you can. They may not officially open until 8:30, but if they do any sort of surgery, chances are there'll be someone on-site by 8:00 at the latest. Tell them you've had NO sleep at all and you can't stay awake until 9:30. Depending on what diagnostics they want to do, you might not be able to stay with her - if they need to do X-rays or similar then they can't have you in the room. But if you could maybe use that time to get a little sleep and recharge your batteries so you can be there for her when they're done, that might help you to get through the rest of the day too.
 
BTW, the practice is only a few minutes walk away (not a small distance in agoraphobics' miles). I moved into the centre of town so that I would not be reliant on motor transport in an emergency.
 
You've got this far - you can make that walk as well...for Saoirse, I really think you can do anything. I'm glad it's not any further though - even that few minutes must feel like a long way when it's difficult to be outside at all.
 
Agoraphobics' miles is how I describe the phenomenon where distances stretch in proportion to the square of how scary and overwhelming it is for one to be outside the house.

I had to make the walk tonight. I'll do it again in ... (anti-jinx) ... several bundles of 10 minutes from now.

Feel so sick.

My Bonnie Munchkin is tucked away under the table. I gave her some very, very light and gentle caresses. She's facing away and I didn't want to disturb her so I also gently rubbed her ear to check her response and she twitched it OK.
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manxcat419 said:
You really do. You can't help her if you make yourself ill by not sleeping. Even just a couple of hours would make a real difference.
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I really am fit to collapse right now. It will be all I can do to get Saoirse over to the vet. Even in terms of adrenalin I'm running on fumes.
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That's great to hear - she's responsive which is always good. :) You're going to get this done...less than an hour now...just 6 lots of 10 minutes - probably only 5 before you leave the house. :bighug:

Critter Mom said:
I really am fit to collapse right now. It will be all I can do to get Saoirse over to the vet. Even in terms of adrenalin I'm running on fumes.
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I can well imagine. I don't suffer from agoraphobia, but I always seem to run on very low reserves...I never get quite enough sleep. So just one sleepless night can throw me off for a week. You need that sleep, and once Saoirse is with the vet and being looked after...someone else to watch over her for a few hours...hopefully you can get some. :bighug: :bighug:
 
Forgot to mention that one of your earlier comments made me think of beta blockers. I'm going to take a small dose of propranolol just before leaving the house to maybe help with the heart palpitations while I get to the vet. (Very embarrassing earlier; my tongue was literally sticking to the roof of my mouth. And I had to ask to use the loo. Twice. :oops:)
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I think that's a good idea. The calmer you can be at the vet and on the walk there the better. You do want to be relaxed enough to sleep when you get back home.
 
April.. I am rapidly coming up on the 20 hour mark of being up and finding myself drifting to sleep sitting up right.... Can you see Mogs through to her vet visit??
 
Thanks much... and glad to be of what assistance I was.. blessed be both of you and keep us up to date on what is happing ok??? please
 
Oh Mogs... I can absolutely understand how scared you are... Take deep breaths and hold on to the power of this board and the power of prayer... It has been shown many times what a difference these make. I think anything else I could say would just repeat what others have said but I would just reiterate the need to look after yourself... Try not to let your baby feel your panic... You can do this...
Our friends in the US may be ready for bed soon but here in the UK we are taking over the reins and sending you fervent positive thoughts...
(((((((Mogs)))))))

Diana
 
I'm so sorry to hear that you have difficulties with sleep deprivation too, April. The cumulative effect of it is awful.

I appreciate even more what you're doing to help us tonight. Can't put into words how much ...

:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
You're so very welcome. I would have been awake anyway - my problem tends to be not being able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour so I'm always awake until fairly late. And I'm so glad to be able to help. :bighug::bighug:
 
Julia Rae said:
... and finding myself drifting to sleep sitting up right ...
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That's the state I was in when I posted for help.

Thank you so very much for being there for us, Julie, and for your prayers for my baby girl. No way to express how much it means ...

:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Diana&Tom said:
Our friends in the US may be ready for bed soon but here in the UK we are taking over the reins and sending you fervent positive thoughts...
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Oh, thank you, Diana. I am very glad you're here. :bighug:

Starting to cry now from the exhaustion. Telling Saoirse it's just tiredness. My heart is sore. So hard not being able to do something to soothe her.

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You are doing something for her - you're doing everything! You must be beyond exhausted at this point but you're so very nearly there - you've made it for your baby. :bighug::bighug:
 
Time for a cup of hot sweet tea perhaps? And a little nibble on something to keep your strength up? Try very hard to concentrate on deep breathing and keep saying to yourself 'All will be well' over and over and over...
 
Great suggestions, Diana, but my stomach's in bits. So anxious I've been feeling like I want to throw up all night. I did manage to get some sweet tea down earlier.
 
Critter Mom said:
Great suggestions, Diana, but my stomach's in bits. So anxious I've been feeling like I want to throw up all night. I did manage to get some sweet tea down earlier.
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Thought you might say that Mogs but bear it in mind and try if you can. Even a little biscuit or a couple of bites of toast and honey... As well as the energy, it might help to give your brain the sense that 'everything is ok'... And maybe the act of trying to eat would give you another focus for a short while... You just need to stay as calm as you possibly can.
Also maybe start doing some positive visualisations of the vet visit... I would be just as scared as you but the stronger you can be the better... Your baby needs you to stay strong for her...
 
I've asked if they can keep Saoirse in for a while till I get some sleep and they said yes. I hate the thought of not being physically with her but I'll be no good to her at all without some sleep.

Still want to throw up. I'm so scared for both of us. I wish I was stronger for her. I love her with all my heart.
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Critter Mom said:
I've asked if they can keep Saoirse in for a while till I get some sleep and they said yes. I hate the thought of not being physically with her but I'll be no good to her at all without some sleep.

Still want to throw up. I'm so scared for both of us. I wish I was stronger for her. I love her with all my heart.
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I'm glad you're thinking practically, Mogs... Saoirse will be in good hands at the vets. Can you take in a cushion or a jumper of yours or something that has the scent of home for her?
 
You are strong for her. Look how much you've done for her tonight! Needing to sleep isn't a sign of weakness - it's a basic need. I'm glad the vet is going to help you so you can get some rest.
 
I work from home and was very busy last night so just saw this, I am praying and thinking every good thought I can for you, I hope the beta blocker is making you feel a little better, no cat ever had a mom who loved her more than Saoirse.
 
Mogs, I hope you're on your way to the vet with Saoirse now. I'm about falling asleep here, but I see you have other people here now to keep an eye out in case you need anything. When you've got some sleep and you know more from your vet, please update us with how Saoirse's getting on. You've done the most awesome job tonight - no-one could have looked after Saoirse better than you have. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
 
Waiting to hear from you, Mogs. You're the best catmom ever. Even if Saoirse is at the vets you can maintain contact with her in your mind. We'll all go there too. Visualise a nice, warm sun, and you both sitting in a sunny window. Feel her breathing. Close your eyes and don't think about anything else.. We are with you in spirit.
 
Back from vet - just catching up on posts. Update shortly. Need to try to stop crying. So scared. My baby.

Diana&Tom said:
Can you take in a cushion or a jumper of yours or something that has the scent of home for her
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I brought in a worn t-shirt and jumper plus one of her fleecy blankets that all have my scent.
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Jeanne Skadowski said:
Even if Saoirse is at the vets you can maintain contact with her in your mind. We'll all go there too. Visualise a nice, warm sun, and you both sitting in a sunny window. Feel her breathing. Close your eyes and don't think about anything else.. We are with you in spirit.
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Thank you for this, Jeanne. I'm picturing her little paw reaching out to rest on my arm to let me know that she loves me and that she knows I love her, too.

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Thank you so much to everyone who helped us through the night. I would not have been able to keep going without you all. Can't put into words how grateful I am. 'Thank you' just doesn't go anywhere near communicating what it means to me. Thank you for saving me from being alone with all the fear. Thank you for your prayers and for sending healing thoughts to my beautiful baby.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Update: Saoirse at Vets for Tests


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PLEASE, PLEASE - IF YOU POST I BEG YOU NOT TO WRITE ANYTHING DOOM-LADEN.

I just could not handle it and it would make me completely unravel. I'm hanging on by my fingernails as it is. I need to do everything I can to stay in the Now. I am sure you will all understand this most heartfelt request. When any news comes I will deal with it then, not before. It will be time enough. I need to stay as positive as I can for my baby.
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Saoirse's affected eye has gone cloudy. :( Vet is going to try to dilate pupil to better see where the problem is. Could be diabetes related, could be inflammation in eye (uveitis), could be kidneys. Saoirse has always had such beautiful eyes. This is so hard.

Blood pressure is 175 (ref range 135-170). Saoirse was stressed and scared so vet doesn't know if it's a true picture. (Historically Saoirse reads very high at the vet. She read 140 during a home BP measurement at last check.)

Vet to run full panel with pancreas, liver, kidney and thyroid markers. If they can get a large enough sample they will test in house as well as sending a sample off to IDEXX for more accurate results.

The vet said it's a possibility that the slow gait and wobble during the night could possibly be vision-related.

Saoirse will stay with the vets while tests are done and I am to collect her later after I get some rest.

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My baby is so scared and I wasn't able to soothe or comfort her. Agony. I love my Saoirse so much. I hurt to see her hurting. My baby.

I'm so scared. Can't stop crying. I'm in shock big time. Want to get tears out of way while the vets are minding Saoirse for me. Need to be in better shape for her.

Please continue to pray and think healing, comforting thoughts for my Saoirse. Thank you all for being there for us. Don't know what I'd do if you weren't.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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