Wishing Everyone A Merry Christmas !

Hi Diane, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy New Year with many blessings. You are a treasure and are valued and appreciated every single day. With much love from me and Ivy :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Meow-y Christmas, Diane!! And thank you for your guidance, reassurance, positive energy, genuine caring, and frequent hilarious comments (laughter is all that is keeping some of us sane :p). May the New Year bring you peace and all blessings. Love to you and sweet Tyler from Chispa and me :bighug::bighug::bighug::cat::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
You all brought tears to my eyes, I'm trying to make the best of the holidays but it's really touch since my daughter's passing this June and then my dad in July.
Some of you know my daughter took her life . She had Complex Regional Pain Syndrome for 19 years , she just couldn't take the pain any longer. Too long to explain all about it, but it's actually called the Suicide Disease. She was 37
I belong to a lot of support groups and you would not believe how many mothers, fathers, and young adults who take their lives because of this terrible disease
You all mean so much to me :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
I know you all must be sick of hearing me but I just wanted to post few poems Ashley wrote, she was such a good writer
Unpredictable, as the ocean
I am tumbling and oh so cross
If I were to die, this very moment
Would you take it as a loss
Here I lay, lay alone, no one else beside me
I have time, oh so much time, and there is nothing left inside me

When I dream, I dream about you
But you always pass me by
If I were bold, so bold to ask you
Would you give me the reasons why
Let me sleep, don't wake me up, even if I am crying
It's better than, to be aware, knowing I'm slowly dying

I had premonitions, as a child
A life of love was not, in the cards
Now I know, I'll die alone
I never dreamed it would, be this hard
Memories, sweet memories, they are all that I can cling to
The past is gone, I can't move on, I've nothing left to give you

Are you happy, happy to see me
Or did you think, that I had gone
To another, time and dimension
Or even to the great beyond
Remember me, for who I was, and not what you see before you
I'm not the girl, I used to be, still love me, I implore you

I hold it in, deep inside me
Then I break and scream aloud
For all you do, is criticize me
Have you ever told me, you were proud
I'm not myself, I'm someone else, one who has trouble dealing
My heart has turned, turned to stone, and I care not what you're feeling

Please don't touch me, for I am hurting
Yet I long so, to be held
Was I ever, worthy of loving
It's something time will never tell
Push me away, you cannot stay, and take care of this burden
No more than I, wish to be one, for this much I am certain

I've cried rivers, such deep rivers
Til the tears, reached waist high
Will I ever, know all the answers
Or will I forever, be asking why
I am tired, as the night, please wrap your arms around me
Or will you turn, turn your back, and leave me as you found me

Here I lay, ensconced in darkness
And I cannot, find the the light
I do not care, to have a future
Yet I see no end in sight
What will it be, it's up to me, should I wait for more tomorrows
Or close my eyes, and hold my breath, as I drown in tears of sorrows
 
My heart has been pounding as the pressures been mounting
After so many years you lose track and stop counting
I've been ignored, cast aside, wanting to press rewind
The world's gone on without me and I've been left behind

I continue to go on as my heart is breaking
The pain is too great and I can't take the aching
Someone please talk to me because the quiet is deafening
I've abandoned all hope with everyone and everything

I've had to say goodbye to all I've held dear
To exist in a world where I know nothing but fear
I sleep in an empty bed all alone
If there's really a God you'd think he'd throw me a bone

What I wouldn't do to have a second chance
At a life filled with friendship, excitement, and wild romance
But inside my body lies a vicious demon
Who keeps me in pain and keep me screaming

There are so many worse things in life than death
Like not being able to take a deep breath
What could possibly be wrong, you look fine to me
But what does pain look like, what do you expect to see

Loneliness, my what a powerful feeling
At night I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling
Dreaming of a life unlike my very own
One where I'm not terrified of being alone

I'm sending out an S.O.S.
I'm in need of help as I'm in distress
But will you even bother to answer my call
I'm going down hard and won't survive the fall

Please don't tell me God wants it this way
Or to get down on my knees and pray
He gave up on me a long time ago
I don't know which way to turn or which way to go
 
Beautiful sorrowful filled poetic words.

Thank you for sharing with us. Ashley was as lucky to have you as you her.

I know suicide isn't easy to understand. Honoring Ashley by sharing her story and poetry helps more than you know.

Sending you love, Diane. May this new year give you the opportunity to rest and restore.
 
Basic's Mom said:
Beautiful sorrowful filled poetic words.

Thank you for sharing with us. Ashley was as lucky to have you as you her.

I know suicide isn't easy to understand. Honoring Ashley by sharing her story and poetry helps more than you know.

Sending you love, Diane. May this new year give you the opportunity to rest and restore.
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Aww thank you Sybil :bighug::bighug:♥
 
Diane, Ashley was a deep and profound woman. Her writing has so much expression and sadness. So heartbreaking how much pain she must have been in.
She was so lucky to have the most caring mother to give her love and support, which I am quite sure you did. You are the most caring person in this community, so it’s obviously in your DNA.

Please know she knew how much you loved her. I wish you peace, healing and strength. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Staci & Ivy said:
Diane, Ashley was a deep and profound woman. Her writing has so much expression and sadness. So heartbreaking how much pain she must have been in.
She was so lucky to have the most caring mother to give her love and support, which I am quite sure you did. You are the most caring person in this community, so it’s obviously in your DNA.

Please know she knew how much you loved her. I wish you peace, healing and strength. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Hi Staci, she sure was some writer, I couldn't have asked for a more loving daughter. She also had a great sense of humor. She always made me laugh even though she was in pain. We were 2 peas in a pod for sure :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
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