When it's all too much on the daily . . .

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JeanW

JeanW

Member Since 2017
Several evenings this week after the PM test/feed/shoot I've had to leave home for a couple hours to escape the stress. There's no particular crisis - just the usual worry about my kitty. And a lot of stress in the rest of my life.

I usually go back at +2 to do another test and lately do a +4 test also whether I have to get up from bed or come home because I left again.

What's your best tip to deal with the stress and worry?
 
Nothing wrong with getting fresh air and stretching the legs for a bit.

I just switched my head off and got on with it. A sortof promise affair really. Here is the rotten bit but after is the good bit. Had a few global meltdowns now and again but mostly I just took a breath, did what had to be done and then hugged my cat which made the whole world right again.
 
I know well the stress you are talking about, Jean. It meets me head-on every 12 hours for preshot, feeding and injection. So much can go wrong. So much to worry about. All the what ifs. What if the numbers are too high, lower than what I expected? What if he doesn't eat? What if I get a fur shot? Then the in between times I'm watching and I'm listening. Listening out for his trips to his water dish. The lap lap lap that tells me his BGs have been high. The trips to the litter box. The peeing. The straining to poop. Is it all going in the box? Something hanging off his butt I need to deal with? Is that noise I hear the sound of his hacking up a hairball? Is it a hairball or something else to worry about? Is he lethargic? Sleeping? What's going on in that little kitty mind of his?

I try to compartmentalize but my life with him takes up so much space. I go online. On the FBMD forums trying to help as much as I can. I squeeze in time for exercise. I'm a runner so I'm out 6 days a week for 5 to 7 mile runs. Resistance bands, stretches, yoga ball and yoga. One of my favorite poses is the "legs up a wall" that I do at the end of the day just before bed. Butt up against the wall as close as I can get it. Then stretch my legs up the wall and spread my arms out on the floor and just breathe.

I know my time with him is short. At some point in the future he will leave me and my life will never be the same. I'll long to reach back, feel the softness of his fur, hear the sweetness of his meows and look into his kitty eyes just one more time. . . .
 
Bama Kitty Mom (AL) said:
I know well the stress you are talking about, Jean. It meets me head-on every 12 hours for preshot, feeding and injection. So much can go wrong. So much to worry about. All the what ifs. What if the numbers are too high, lower than what I expected? What if he doesn't eat? What if I get a fur shot? Then the in between times I'm watching and I'm listening. Listening out for his trips to his water dish. The lap lap lap that tells me his BGs have been high. The trips to the litter box. The peeing. The straining to poop. Is it all going in the box? Something hanging off his butt I need to deal with? Is that noise I hear the sound of his hacking up a hairball? Is it a hairball or something else to worry about? Is he lethargic? Sleeping? What's going on in that little kitty mind of his?

I try to compartmentalize but my life with him takes up so much space. I go online. On the FBMD forums trying to help as much as I can. I squeeze in time for exercise. I'm a runner so I'm out 6 days a week for 5 to 7 mile runs. Resistance bands, stretches, yoga ball and yoga. One of my favorite poses is the "legs up a wall" that I do at the end of the day just before bed. Butt up against the wall as close as I can get it. Then stretch my legs up the wall and spread my arms out on the floor and just breathe.

I know my time with him is short. At some point in the future he will leave me and my life will never be the same. I'll long to reach back, feel the softness of his fur, hear the sweetness of his meows and look into his kitty eyes just one more time. . . .
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This post is exactly how I felt so much of the time while on that journey with my beautiful Dweezil.

And now looking back, my life is never the same, and I can't feel the softness of his fur, the blissful roughness of his tongue when he would groom me, hear his beautiful meows or gaze and cat-smile into his eyes ever again.

Appreciate all the good that is your cat. The bad part is the diabetes, the good part is your fur child. I worried more than I had to probably 70% of the time, but that's in hindsight, which is 20/20.

I am left with an empty depression, guilt and PTSD, though I never have coped well with chronic stress and was already depressed.

Sigh. We all just love our fluffies so much.
 
Boy I wish I knew how to turn off my worrying about my cat. He is in remission from diabetes but recently was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and his glucose shot up at the hospital while he was there.
Not enough to resume insulin but enough to worry over. As if my guy doesn't have enough things already going on with his IBD. I try to go out to take my mind of his condition but then start to get anxious and feel like I need to go home to check on him. I'm not sure I will ever be anxiety free with a cat that has serious health issues.
 
monty_dweezil (GA) said:
I am left with an empty depression, guilt and PTSD, though I never have coped well with chronic stress and was already depressed.

Sigh. We all just love our fluffies so much.
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Just reading your post and the story in your signature line of loosing your beloved kitty brings tears and sorrow for you and dread for me in what I have yet to face. The sorrows run as deep as the joys. Thank God for the joys.
 
I head to the dog park with my Trixie whenever possible. We have a group that meets there at the same time every day. We are bad dog park people because we plop our chairs in the shade and let our dogs entertain each other, but we all know each other well enough that it's safe.

I work from home so I need a break by late afternoon. In addition to Grandpa, we have a couple senior cats with all or most teeth removed who need can food, a cat with serious allergies who can't have grain or chicken, a cat with asthma and flea allergies, and more. Every time I go to the kitchen, Grandpa jumps on the counter for a snack, but doesn't eat the first few things I open, the others come running to see what they can get and the toothless ones are impossible to ignore which means opening a huge variety of things and guarding what each is eating. Before I know it, my lunch is over and I haven't even poured a glass of water. But they are alive and wouldn't be otherwise and I'm fortunate to be home with them.
 
So I just try and put on my vet nurse hat on and just do what I had to do. I was lucky that Truffles is so laid back about everything it sort of rubbed off on me! Lol. Just think that every time you test and shoot you are prolonging life and making your fur baby feel better. You are doing something and doing your best. Try not to stress about it. You can do no more. Take each day as it comes and love your kitty That’s all they want food and love lol. I wish you luck on your journey. Truffles is 14 and started off with a bg of over 500 now off juice for over a month. It can happen.
 
I had a really bad spell from from May to the end of July when Teasel was very ill and my elderly Mom was in her own health crisis. I escaped into Netflix whenever I could to give myself some relief. I also have a horse who's stabled about an hour from where I live and went out there with two of my horsey lady friends as often as I could. There's nothing like barn air to clear the worries out of my head!
 
Yes, definitely thank God for the joys. We worry about them sometimes to the point of making ourselves sick, live in constant fear, but only because we love them SO much. And it is worth it. Because all they really know is that love and care-taking. They don't worry like we do. They are innocent and we bear the burden of that constant fear (THEY are never a burden though), but that is how it should be. All they should know is love.
 
Beck and Grandpa said:
I head to the dog park
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That was a huge bonus for me. We got a puppy only days before we knew Zoe was pregnant (broken promise by the shelter) so not only did we have four kittens and a puppy who adored each other I made three great friends with puppies and they all grew up together on our weekend dog walks. Being out of the house was a huge release for me.
We also have an extra bedroom, pet free (no hair), no electronics. Most of the cats we have now don't even know there's a room behind that door.
Sometimes you just have to let things go. The worst is not being believed by people you thought loved you. When we lost Nigel he was the eighth cat in 2+ years to leave us and it led to a PTSD diagnosis. I can feel my sister rolling her eyes right now. That's why we have each other.
 
This is my doggie boyfriend at the park. Whenever I have a bad day, I go there for Hank hugs. You can't stay down long with this much sweetness.
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I would have exploded already if I was not able to quickly vent all of my worries in 2 huge long breathes to my girlfriend - she then talks me down by repeating any positives from the day/particular venting session, brings me a glass of wine and puts a comforting comedy sitcom on netflix. Right about then Tigger climbs on one of our laps and we end up fawning over him and appreciating all he and his brother give back to us. I believe its better to just let things out!
 
I have a little "It could be so much worse" story which may or may not help.
I have some oddball neurological things going on that took eight neurologists to figure out. In the end all I got was a hand on my shoulder and an explanation of why nothing could be done about it. It's bad enough that once every few weeks I get a five minute warning before I'm under the covers with ice bags, Lorazepam and worst of all there is no way Noah will get his shot. That really sucks, not for me but for Noah and the guilt that goes along with it.
Just like here there is an internet support group but you've never, ever seen so many people moan and groan about who's got it the worst, who's doctor is the biggest idiot and generally a lot of self pity. That's not support at all, it's a waste of time.
What I have gotten are two cats that always know what's coming and never hide in the basement. Noah flinched last night and I almost shredded his ear and afterwards he was right back at my feet waiting for the little warm water ear and face wash that he loves so much. If that was my mother I'd never hear the end of "the soup is too hot, the TV doesn't work right, I've got another rash". Compared to that the stress I get from taking care of our cats is minimal. I still feel the same as most of you; Am I doing this right?, Did he eat enough?, Is this the right dose or even the right insulin?
I've been very lucky over the years, not a single Hypo, no pancreatic or intestinal problems, no crystals or bladder infections. When I feel stressed I just remember what great patients I have and how much they trust me. This isn't some "Aren't we all blessed" Hocus Pocus but there a lot of people out there who just rid themselves of stress by getting rid of the cat.
At least we're lucky that we have that compassion and we have each other.
 
Moms2Tigger&Blu said:
cardiomyopathy
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That was the diagnosis of a family of six in our home. We knew there was nothing we could do but makes their lives as good as possible. Knowing what might happen one day didn't cause any stress. Noah is one of those six cats and it's more than just an obligation to care for him, it's not that hard and we get so much back in return.
Moms2Tigger&Blu said:
I can't fathom getting rid of a pet
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It sounds like fiction but not matching the furniture is one I've actually heard.
 
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