Time for a new Cat?

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oreosmom

oreosmom

Member Since 2012
Hi All,

As some remember, Oreo passed away Dec. 24th. Debbie is our surviving calico. She is 13 years old and was quite close to Oreo. Debbie isn't very active and has some arthritis. After Oreo's death, she was really lonely and depressed. Then about three weeks out, she started spending more time with us, playing more and letting us pick her up ( she really never liked that and is a fearful cat). She is also sleeping with us and her stuffed toy cat. We have been giving her extra love and I am sure this is helping out.

At first, I thought Debbie would need a new friend. But now I really realize that I am the one who really wants the new cat! I also worry that Debbie will be lonely when we are away from home (though we would have a sitter). My question is this: What age of cat would be best? Everything I have read says a more mellow, mature cat would be best. But I just talked to our vet and she has a different opinion: She feels it is not wise to get a cat for your surviving cat, since you can't guarantee your cat will like the new kitty anyway! Instead she thinks you should get a new cat for YOU. She recommended a kitten! She feels that the kitten has less "baggage" and less threatening to the resident cat.

I would love to hear your opinions on this. I have my eye on a young kitten and a one year old. I can use some advise. Thanks!
 
I used to have a cat named Moonlight, and when he was 13, I brought home Mabb, who was only about 12 weeks old or so. He did great with her, but he was a bold cat. He loved her, and let her torment him. If you do bring home another cat, you might want one that is very relaxed and laid back. Moonlight may have been the exception with little Mabb. I used to have a timid cat, and I brought Moonlight home as a kitten. Rusty was an elderly cat, but didn't like his bounciness. He really upset her. So I'd get a cat who won't challenge her.

After I lost Moon, I waited about a year and a half before I brought home Oonagh to be Mabb's cat. In the meantime, that gave Mabb and I a real chance to get really close.
 
Forgot to add: Just remember that no cat will ever replace sweet Oreo, so if you do get another one, try not to focus on appearance or anything that might make you say, in your heart, "OREO!"
 
I think I agree & disagree with your vet. Yes, you should get a cat for you but I wouldn't necessarily say a kitten! As a shelter volunteer and foster mom, I can vouch that kittens are sweet and cute, but are work and would annoy the older cat. That being said so could an adult young cat--you have to choose the cat or kitten based on it's personality and how it would match with your cats personality. Are you able to maybe foster for a local rescue or shelter? We have had several fosters that worked really well in our house and then some that we learned were not good with other cats or preferred to be an only cat or with less cats (we have 6).

Go to a shelter and rescue and look--don't feel like you have to bring a cat home. Or check out www.petfinder.com and window shop. Maybe you'll see someone you love! But it's ok to go look and not adopt. You'll know when the connection is right.

Good luck!
 
And as for adopting a kitten because it has less baggage?? My foster kitten that we adopted (and is now 3) is on Prozac for peeing in the house. We didn't know what she'd be like as an adult. She has anxiety and stresses with change--which in our house happens a lot! I will take an adult cat any day--generally shelter volunteers or rescue groups with foster homes know the adult cats personalities and you know what you are getting.
 
I agree with those that say that an older, more calmer cat would be better for you. I have my mother's 16 year old cat and I am caring for two kittens. I don't dare let her anywhere near them because she can't handle their energy and therefore she strikes at them. I don't want her to scare or hurt the babies so everybody is isolated.

Our rescue group lets us foster the older cats for a month just to give them some time out of a cage. This might be a good way for you to find a good match for your household.
 
Depending on your cat's personality, be prepared for a long integration! I took in a stray who was somewhat standoffish and fearful. My older cat is an outgoing, dominant female. After putting them together too quickly, I had to re-start intros with keeping them separate, except at meal times, when they could eat on either side of a baby gate. After about 2 weeks, they would eat right up against the gate. Then I'd hold the new cat up to the gate so my older cat could smell her without actually being able to get at her. After about 2 months, new cat finally would go up to gate on her own. Once that happened I started letting them spend more time together in small increments. Overall, it took about 4 months until I could let them be alone together and about 9 months before they really seemed to settle down. We're 13 months in now and things are much calmer!

It was really stressful being in a one bedroom condo doing it, but the slow intro was SO worth it! The girls get along really well now and seem happy together. :-D

Good luck!
 
It actually sounds like Debbie is very happy right now. Like she has come out of her shell. There is a good chance she will become the shy girl she used to be again if you get another cat.

Your vet is right. You can not predict how they will be with each other. So if you get another cat it will be for you, not her.

Here is my most recent experience with bringing a new cat into the house. When Emme died suddenly last spring when she was 5 years old, we wanted a new cat but we were worried about Emme's littermate Erik. You see he used to bully her. He was bigger and could be aggressive with her. We decided to adopt a 1-2 year old female, looking for a kitty who was outgoing and mellow and could stand up to him.

It did NOT go as planned! Fanny was outgoing and sweet at the shelter, but she wound up being a bit of a terror. Maybe it was just playfulness, but she scared the living daylights out of him! She would chase him and jump at him. He would hide and literally shake. We spent 4-5 months working at integrating them and they still fight a couple of times a day. I think they are evenly matched and they don't hurt each other. Every once in a while they will be be nice to each other - I hope that is a trend will grow until they are friends, but I'm not holding my breath until it happens.
 
Yep - It sounds like your cat is happy right now and you would be getting a new cat for yourself, not for her. Especially since, like the others said, she may not get along with the new cat - especially since she is older. I like the idea of an older cat since you know there personality and it should hassle her as much but any cat introduction can be hard and it depends on the resident cats personality as well as the introduction process. They could end up best friends, or tolerate each other, or worse. You won't know till you try.

From my experience I had cookie who was 6 and had lots of energy and I thought a friend would be a good idea. So we got Tiggy the kitten. And months of hissing and running away happened from her which was crazy cause Tiggy was 1/5 of her size. Now we are at 8 years later and although she doesn't run and hiss any more she won't let him get close and avoids him where she can.

Then we got Bailey when she was 13 and Tiggy was 7. Bailey was also 13 and very laid back so he and Tiggy got on pretty much immediately. They don't cuddle but will sit next to each other if they both want the best spot ;) and they play and play fight and are comfortable in each others presence. But Cookie.. nope. She is ok but Bailey insists on chasing her whenever he sees her and she was getting pretty upset so now we have her isolated in part of the house during the day and then we isolate Bailey at night so she can run around. Not ideal but it reduced her stress and she is much happier.

Wendy
 
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