This Post Isn't Going to Make Me Popular

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gorillahowl

Member Since 2013
This morning Wendell shrieked in pain when I tried to do a blood draw. (I got the blood, but I felt horrible about it.) I have to tackle him down to get the blood. It's getting harder, not easier, to do it.
He still has no interest in his new food.
He's still waking up in the middle of the night howling.

He's still having some happy moments, but they are outweighed by moments of confusion, fear, and generally not feeling well.

I know I could spend the next few weeks/months poking him and trying to force him to eat food he doesn't want.
But the fact remains:
He is in pain. I don't want him to be.
He doesn't know that what I'm doing is to help him.
I know my boy. I know he doesn't want this to be his life.
I can't be home day after day doing curves.

I appreciate all the great help I've gotten here the last few weeks, and I'm sorry you all went to so much trouble, but I think we're nearing the end. We have our happy moments, yes, our cuddly moments, but they are getting fewer and far between. I think it's time to let him go.
 
I'm so sorry things aren't getting better. :sad: I can totally related to what you are going through, I've had to weigh that decision with Nikki twice in the last year. Only you can decide what is best for your cat and for you. If you choose to let him go, know that you did everything you could to make his life a happy one! :YMHUG:
 
Hi guys .. I don't know any of your kitty's history but I sure do feel for you .. Mocha was on insulin for nearly two years, 22 looonnnggg months .. Testing her was a piece of cake .. but giving her shots was something completely different .. it took both my husband and I chasing her and catching her every single day, twice a day, to give her the shot .. She squirmed, she howled, she hissed .. She hated us .. for those five or ten minutes each day .. but the rest of the time? It was as if nothing was wrong with her .. She laid in the sun, she took multiple cat naps a day .. she was loved on and kissed .. she completely forgot about shot times ..

Now I know every story is different and every owner has to make the choice on how to deal with feline diabetes .. but I just wanted to tell you my story .. that we've been there and we pushed through it .. and now? It's been over two years since mocha had her last shot ..

Things may seem rough right now .. but often times, it does get easier ..
 
I'm sorry to hear you're having so many problems with Wendell. It's a tough decision that no one ever wants to make.

I can understand you're frustration, fear & hurt as well. I'm not trying to change your mind, but there may be options still available to you.

If you & Wendell have cuddly moments, would you feel comfortable doing some 'dry runs' with ear testing? It's all good for Wendell. You sit with him, rub his ears, & do a fake poke - no sharp end, just the dull cap of the lancet. Then he gets a treat & you tell him how marvelous he was. Repeat that over & over, throughout the day, until he starts getting used to it. In a worse case scenario, he still doesn't get used to it, but you've had some quality time together & he's had lots of treats. Sounds like he loves the freeze-dried treats, & they're good for him, so that's a win-win.

My Tigger likes the treats so much he sleeps on the blanket on the bed where I poke him whenever he's inside. I never in a million years would've thought that would happen!

I also understand that Wendell is in pain, he's not acting right, and you know your boy better than anyone else. Is there something else that could be wrong with him? Has your vet ever mentioned dementia?

Lastly, I just want to say that if you try & take everything one day at a time - don't look into an endless future, but try to get through this one day at a time, & see if Wendell has good quality moments. Do the good moments outweigh the bad? Does he forgive you after a test poke or a shot poke? Is his upset momentary or does it last all day? Those are issues we all have to weigh.

Our thoughts are with you, lots of support to help you through this rough time.
 
Here's the first post for more information about Wendell and Carli. previous condo and another post: nighttime crying

My heart goes out to you Carli as you wrestle with this decision. Just remember, this board is a place of encouragement, support and advice. You are not a bother and you have done so much in a short amount of time. Just think, you NEVER would have thought you could have tested Wendell and you have. Definitely a long journey having a FD and I know you've talked about all your other challenges that make this even more difficult.

I just wanted to stop by with :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG:

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen
 
Is there a reason you can't go back to his old food for a while?

Personally, I'd rather have to shoot higher numbers due to food that wasn't great than not have my little man at all.

Why do you have to do curves day after day? People here on FDMB, myself included, do hometest our kitties but you are allowed to care for your cat whatever way you feel you can.

I've only read a couple of your previous posts so I don't know much history, but FD is not generally a painful diagnosis. If a cat were experiencing a pancreatitis attack that would be painful, but I'm not sure I understand why you think your little man is in pain. Is there an infection, maybe a urinary tract infection or teeth issues that is causing pain? I mention urine/teeth because unregulated FD can cause sugar in in saliva and urine and those warm wet spots are great for growing bacteria which can cause UTIs and bad teeth in our sweet kitties.
 
The vet did mention dementia.
She also thinks he might have high blood pressure, but I think that's a shot in the dark and another $80 test and unlikely to be accurate since he's very nervous at the vet's.
I don't think the good are outweighing the bad at this point.
The dry runs sound like a good idea. Not sure if it will work, but I'm willing to give it a try.
For now, I'm not testing his bg. I'll pull back on the insulin to try to prevent a hypo episode, but he needs a break of at least a few days.
 
If he isn't eating, go back to his original food, whatever it is and adjust the insulin as needed. He has to eat.

A dab of Neosporin with pain relief may be applied a few minutes before testing, and then wiped off to test, which may reduce the discomfort for him. He also may be making a bigger production out of it than it is to get you to quit.
 
Of course it is your decision. If I lived closer I would come get him. We are here for you and Wendell.

When I transitioned my civvies off dry food and straight to raw, they weren't eating very much at first so they were really hungry. Bing actually walked around whining like he was in pain and misbehaving until I learned to give them more meals (especially that one before bedtime). Finally, Bing decided he didn't want to be hungry anymore and after 3 months, is beginning to eat the raw food. So there was pain when I took their beloved dry food away - pain in my neck and hunger pains in their tummies but they got over it. We all hope we can get our sugarcats regulated. It is something that you have to decide if you are able to perservere through and that would depend on your own health. I have read all of your posts so I know of your additional circumstances and understand that they are a factor. Please know that I am here to hold your hand in support of what you think is best for you and Wendell.

Sending you hope and encouragement and lots of headbutts.
 
This is taking its toll on me, yes. But the #1 consideration in this decision is his needs. It's been months since he showed interest in a toy. The howling just won't stop. And it's an "I'm in pain" howl. And since he doesn't know what death is, but does know what pain is, I'd rather say my goodbyes now than put him through all of this for a day that may never come.
 
Sometimes you have to take a step back or take a break to be able to go forward. I know that I did. Some days are just not that great. I had to forgive my self and maybe you do to!! Everyday cant be purrr-fect! I have trouble with getting the blood also. One day I was just like you and I was at my breaking point and ready to throw in the towel! Sue and Oliver told me to just take a break and not worry about it for a few days. Others gave me positive feedback and encouragement and "talked me off the ledge" Do I still have days when I cant get the blood? - you bet! Do I have days when I have to shoot late? - you bet! I just do the best I can each day and that's all you can do to! Maybe taking a break is all you need.
I know that you have to do what you think is best for you and your kitty. You know your kitty better than anyone and sometime we do have to make that hard choice to help them to rainbow bridge but know that you have a lot of friends here who will help you face anything.
Thoughts and prayers for you girl
Terriy
 
If you think he is in actual pain, the vet can't help, nor can you, the humane decision becomes pretty clear.

{{hugs}}
 
Carli, Sweetie, this isn't a popularity contest. We will support you in any way we can.

You wanted to give this one last try and you came here looking for that support. We tried really hard to come up with a clear plan to help him but we understand if that is not working out.

The stress on you is excruciating I'm sure. The nighttime howling that does not let you get restful sleep at night means you are probably walking around like a zombie.


I appreciate all the great help I've gotten here the last few weeks, and I'm sorry you all went to so much trouble, but I think we're nearing the end. We have our happy moments, yes, our cuddly moments, but they are getting fewer and far between. I think it's time to let him go.
Click to expand...
You know your situation better then we ever can.

Step back and let things go for a few days. Make your plans and go from there.

We have all had to make hard choices with our pets. We understand.

Would you consider rehoming Wendell?
 
I am walking around like a zombie. I honestly can't believe I am sitting at my desk now, working. I can't remember the last time I got a decent night's sleep.

Would I consider re-homing him? That's a tough one. Who wants a diabetic kitty who howls all night?
Even if someone wanted him, all of the problems I'm having with him aren't going to just go away. He still won't like having his blood taken. He still won't want to eat his new food. And after a summer where we stayed with two cats who were very mean to him, he is terrified of other cats.
And even though I'm considering killing him. . . we are a matched pair. For his whole life, it's been just him and me. If I give him up, won't he be even more confused and sad?
 
Just do the best you can with what you can. You may make him more comfortable by feeding him his old food.

Its hard to watch when they aren't doing well. I've had cats with renal disease, or hyperthyroidism, or cancer and it is so very hard to let go and even harder to question oneself if a decision is best for the cat ... or for myself.
 
My heart goes out to you and Wendell. As other have said I would feed him anything he will eat and at least get the eating problem resolved.
Many caretakers do not test their cat's BG but almost all who are members of this boards do test BGs. Thus, do not feel bad about not testing that often.
We are not superman/superwoman and we can only do so much. Whatever decision yo make will be the right one.
 
BJ has a good point! Howling is a sign of thyroid issues and they are easily treatable!

However at the end of the day the decision is up to you. If it was my cat I would make a strong concerted effort for the next couple of weeks with a spreadsheet and a food change and see if we can get his BG under control and if that makes a difference. And if it does, great. If it doesnt then you did everything you could.
 
Hi Carli,

I am so sorry that you and Wendell are going through all this. You have gotten lots of good suggestions from people. I too, am wondering if he could possibly be hyperthyroid. I just had two cats (civvies) who were dx'd with that within a couple of months of each other. They both were driving me crazy until they got controlled with meds.

Last year I fostered a cat who had diabetic neuropathy. He did very well on the Methyl B12 and after a month and a half he was walking around normally.

I too, was very stressed out about my first diabetic, Seasaidh. Everyone here was so supportive and helped me through some tough times. One thing that I found that was helpful was in talking with an animal communicator. If you have never heard of that before, you'll probably think I'm crazy. But some of us here have used them, and my experience has been good. The AC's I've talked with have picked up on things that no one would know about my cats.

Right now I'm going through a similar decision with one of my civvies. I am very very torn about what to do. I've taken some AC workshops and am able to communicate with my own cats, and I know that my civvie will tell me when it's his time. (although I believe everyone has this ability regardless of whether they've taken an AC workshop or not...you will know when it is your cat's time).

You and Wendell are in my prayers.

Love & Blessings,

Heather & Seasaidh (GA)
 
Hi Carli! Just wanted to lend some encouragement and support. First I would say that you and Wendell have made some impressive progress in the last two months. In an earlier post, you said Wendell’s BG was in the 500’s at diagnosis – and now according to his chart, two months later he is averaging in the 200’s with one reading under 200. That’s something to feel good about. His numbers are not that bad.

Carli, I want to share with you that I had the most difficult time with my own cat Ninja when she was first diagnosed, but she is now in remission.

It took me almost an entire month before I was able to test her ear at all – so I was giving her insulin without testing. No it is not ideal, but was the best I could do at the time. Just the fact that you are getting ANY readings means you are doing better than I did at first.

My cat Ninja is a fighter and fought the testing tooth and nail. But like another member recommended here, I used the desensitizing technique on Ninja – going through the routine of testing but without actually using a lancet. So I would click the lancet pen near her ear and give her a treat. After a few weeks I tried the lancet. If I got blood, fine. If not, I let her go. In time, Ninja came running when I got out the test kit – even sitting still and purring. I NEVER EVER thought that would happen. In fact, I am still amazed when I think of it.

In addition to testing difficulties, Ninja refused to eat wet food and still will not eat wet food, to this day. I feed her the Young Again low carb dry and she was able to go into remission using that. If you’d like me to overnight you a sample to try for Wendell, I would be happy to. Ninja is the pickiest eater on the planet, but she took to the Young Again right away.

I would also say that before I found the Young Again food, Ninja would wake me up crying at all hours of the night – but now I just let her free feed on the Young Again and she is fine. She transitioned to the Young Again with little difficulty – much to my surprise.

I would also admit to having more than my fair share of “fur shots” missed injections – so many cycles where Ninja did not get any insulin and her BG ran high.

All in all though, Ninja survived my bumbling and incompetence, and is in remission now. I have to tell you though that I felt like a failure the entire time because I was not doing it the “right” way (giving her wet food, being able to test BG from the start, and being consistent with the dosing). It was pressure I was putting on myself to do things perfectly with Ninja, and always falling short.

So Carli I would say to give yourself a break, and a pat on the back for where you have some so far. You are doing pretty darn well with this judging by the improvement in Wendell’s numbers.

I do understand and respect that only you can make decisions regarding Wendell’s future. Only you know his level of pain or discomfort, and how it might be impacting his overall quality of life. It is clear in reading your prior posts the level of love you have for him so I would not question any decision you made on his behalf.

Carli, if you’d like me to send you a sample of the Young Again to try, please send me a PM or if I can help in any other way, please reach out to me.

Hugs to you Carli!!!!!!!!

Melanie (and Ninja)
 
I agree with everyone else, and just wanted to lend my support as well.

Life is all about compromises - what we'd like to be able to do & what is reality.

You're doing an incredible job - Wendell's numbers are better than Tigger's!

If Wendell needs to eat dry food for now, so be it. He needs to eat. Maybe consider the Young Again food as a dry food option.

The hyperthyroid possibility is a good suggestion, and easily treated - I've had 2 hyperthyroid cats & they lived long lives with a simple inexpensive medication. I have an epileptic cat, who sometimes would howl before a seizure. His epilepsy has been easily treated with medication. It doesn't sound like Wendell is an epileptic, but that's another possibility.

At this point, though, I think you and Wendell need a break. Take some time for just cuddles & treats. Try the dry-run testing if you want, but keep it Stress free for you both.

Hope you can both get some rest - things always seem their worst when one is exhausted and depleted.

Much support is headed your way!
 
Dear Carli

I understand that it is about how Wendell feels and if I had a cat who was howling in pain, I would want to find out why because it certainly is not from the DB. It could be treatable and he could be pain-free and happy again. So let's not assume that his pain is from the DB and that the only relief from it is if he goes into remission. It is horrible to see a dear pet in pain and if it can't be alleviated then the decision is clear. But what if it could be alleviated?
 
i can completely understand what you are going through, patches was off insulin for a good year before the diabetes crept back, he was ok with the shots and the testing but it took him almost 9 full months the first time he was off insulin to even play or run, when the diabetes came back, and i knew before going back it was, i tried changing his food to even a better one, i said going back that if this is in his urine and its back ill have to let him go, he was barely eating, sleeping all day before i got him in, they said it would take a 2 hospital stays to get him hydrated and back on insulin, he was 13 and after about another 6 months or longer to hopefully a remission again, and longer to be back to being a cat again.

its a tough decision, i was at the vets 2 hrs trying to make a decision, can say now, 1 1/2 yrs later, it was right for him.

so if you feel he just isnt enjoying life and you have looked at all options, if anything that should make your decision a bit easier.
 
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