Kathy and Kitty
Member Since 2009
We sent our sweet, beloved Kitty on his journey to the Rainbow Bridge a couple of weeks ago. It was so sudden. I’ve known I wanted to explain it all to you, but I haven’t had the spirit, until now.
First, DH and I want to thank you all with all our hearts. So many of you reached out to us with love, comfort and support. These first days have been awful, and we've leaned on you and every word you said. You got us through the worst of it, and we are so grateful.
So here’s what happened:
The night before this happened, I saw Kitty stomach breathing – using his whole abdomen every time he breathed. I hadn’t noticed that before, and I didn’t know what it meant except that it wasn’t right. I thought, if he isn’t better in the morning, I’ll take him in.
There was no change. I took him in at 3 pm. The vet took one look at him and said, “Let’s get an x-ray.” I said, oh, go ahead and get the bloodwork too, because he had slightly elevated BUN last time. And she said…let’s just start with the x-ray. Uh oh.
She came back 15 minutes later to tell me that he had lung cancer.
She said it had probably metastasized from elsewhere, because there were no lumps; it was full-blown throughout his lungs. She explained that it was not uncommon for lung cancer to spread quickly; she’d seen that several times before. She had shown the x-ray to her colleague, who agreed. Also – Kitty had lost three pounds since December.
She took me to the back to show me the x-rays. Kitty was being doted over by two techs. That was his sweet way. Everyone loved him.
She compared the x-rays with those taken in December. (He’d had his teeth cleaned, and we wanted to check his joints for arthritis.) The difference was stunning. Clear in December. A blizzard throughout his lungs now.
This was at 4 p.m. By chance, the radiologist was coming to the clinic, and the vet arranged for him to see Kitty’s x-rays. By 6, we had the word that he concurred with our vet’s diagnosis. Now three vets agreed.
I asked how long he had – months? Weeks? I was stunned when she said that she couldn’t guarantee that he would make it through the night. I should take it day by day.
In the next hour, it was made clear to us: You can’t make him well. He doesn’t have long. The next stage, when it comes, will be respiratory distress.
And so, we made our decision quickly. The vet, such a kind woman, had offered to come to our home, and we said yes. That evening, at dusk, on our porch – his favorite place – while he purred in my arms, he went to sleep. It was as peaceful and gentle as a goodbye can be.
Now I ask myself two questions:
1. How could I have missed this? Although the December x-rays gave evidence that it had come on quickly, obviously he’d been getting sick for a while. I’d thought he wasn’t completely right. He ate less. He moved around less. I’d planned to take him in soon, but I thought it was arthritis, or age, or hairballs. I see signs that fit now, but I didn’t put them together. I had no idea he was so sick.
2. And if he wasn’t clearly so sick, then how could we act so fast? It was just that we weren’t willing to gamble. We could have waited, and he might have been okay a little while longer. But what if he didn’t? We wanted to spare him.
Here’s what I want to think: That Kitty hid his symptoms until they couldn’t be hidden, because that’s what cats do. That he wasn’t in acute discomfort in that time, because four P’s were evident. (Hadn’t played in weeks.) And that it was the right time, that by giving him up, we saved him fear and pain.
I know some might have acted differently. I believe in my heart that this was the right path for my sweet kitty, though my heart breaks anew every day.
One last thing!
It is time to give Kitty his name. Meet the magnificent purr-cat KOSMO. When we first joined FDMB, I used an alias to ‘hide’ from a vet who hadn’t served us well. The alias stuck. But Kosmo was too fine not to be known for who he really was.
And to this wonderful website of loving people, who saved Kitty Kosmo’s life and gave us two full years of remission, and who cared for us through the pain… I thank you. DH thanks you. Kosmo thanks you.
First, DH and I want to thank you all with all our hearts. So many of you reached out to us with love, comfort and support. These first days have been awful, and we've leaned on you and every word you said. You got us through the worst of it, and we are so grateful.
So here’s what happened:
The night before this happened, I saw Kitty stomach breathing – using his whole abdomen every time he breathed. I hadn’t noticed that before, and I didn’t know what it meant except that it wasn’t right. I thought, if he isn’t better in the morning, I’ll take him in.
There was no change. I took him in at 3 pm. The vet took one look at him and said, “Let’s get an x-ray.” I said, oh, go ahead and get the bloodwork too, because he had slightly elevated BUN last time. And she said…let’s just start with the x-ray. Uh oh.
She came back 15 minutes later to tell me that he had lung cancer.
She said it had probably metastasized from elsewhere, because there were no lumps; it was full-blown throughout his lungs. She explained that it was not uncommon for lung cancer to spread quickly; she’d seen that several times before. She had shown the x-ray to her colleague, who agreed. Also – Kitty had lost three pounds since December.
She took me to the back to show me the x-rays. Kitty was being doted over by two techs. That was his sweet way. Everyone loved him.
She compared the x-rays with those taken in December. (He’d had his teeth cleaned, and we wanted to check his joints for arthritis.) The difference was stunning. Clear in December. A blizzard throughout his lungs now.
This was at 4 p.m. By chance, the radiologist was coming to the clinic, and the vet arranged for him to see Kitty’s x-rays. By 6, we had the word that he concurred with our vet’s diagnosis. Now three vets agreed.
I asked how long he had – months? Weeks? I was stunned when she said that she couldn’t guarantee that he would make it through the night. I should take it day by day.
In the next hour, it was made clear to us: You can’t make him well. He doesn’t have long. The next stage, when it comes, will be respiratory distress.
And so, we made our decision quickly. The vet, such a kind woman, had offered to come to our home, and we said yes. That evening, at dusk, on our porch – his favorite place – while he purred in my arms, he went to sleep. It was as peaceful and gentle as a goodbye can be.
Now I ask myself two questions:
1. How could I have missed this? Although the December x-rays gave evidence that it had come on quickly, obviously he’d been getting sick for a while. I’d thought he wasn’t completely right. He ate less. He moved around less. I’d planned to take him in soon, but I thought it was arthritis, or age, or hairballs. I see signs that fit now, but I didn’t put them together. I had no idea he was so sick.
2. And if he wasn’t clearly so sick, then how could we act so fast? It was just that we weren’t willing to gamble. We could have waited, and he might have been okay a little while longer. But what if he didn’t? We wanted to spare him.
Here’s what I want to think: That Kitty hid his symptoms until they couldn’t be hidden, because that’s what cats do. That he wasn’t in acute discomfort in that time, because four P’s were evident. (Hadn’t played in weeks.) And that it was the right time, that by giving him up, we saved him fear and pain.
I know some might have acted differently. I believe in my heart that this was the right path for my sweet kitty, though my heart breaks anew every day.
One last thing!
It is time to give Kitty his name. Meet the magnificent purr-cat KOSMO. When we first joined FDMB, I used an alias to ‘hide’ from a vet who hadn’t served us well. The alias stuck. But Kosmo was too fine not to be known for who he really was.
And to this wonderful website of loving people, who saved Kitty Kosmo’s life and gave us two full years of remission, and who cared for us through the pain… I thank you. DH thanks you. Kosmo thanks you.
You know me about as well as anyone here...maybe just three people know that I really dislike platitudes. I don't use them ...I would rather say nothing than be trite.