Bless your heart. Wish I lived close by so I could help. It gets easier. The kitty harpoons are awful. If you have to do this long-term, order some nice sharp Terumo needles. They make a much smaller hole in the cat and are much sharper than the usual ones vets use. The Terumos have a thinner wall so they make a smaller hole than other needles of the same gauge. I used 19G ones on Tabriz and sometimes the 20G, but the smaller the gauge (larger the number) the slower the fluid flow. Though 19G were bigger, Tabriz wasn't a very patient cat so he appreciated being finished faster than having to wait. I use 20G ones on Shaikha since she's less of a squirmer.
The key is tenting, but placement is also important. Tabriz seemed to feel most comfortable when I gave him fluids between the shoulder blades. Flanks were not good for him at least. You make the tent and just ensure the needle goes into the tent itself, rather than into the muscle. You do need to be firm with him though and try to get him to stay put. Initially it is a little shock when the fluids go in (especially if they are not warmed first -- if they are the right temperature, they barely notice them) so that may be why you are getting the reaction too. Try to keep the needle in because it will go all over if you pull it out. Don't put your finger over the needle! There is too much pressure with fluid to stop flow that way anyway. Use the wheel to stop the flow or the little clamp they usually have on the line. I usually gave fluids sitting on the floor with Tabriz between my legs on a soft towel, so even if fluids spilled it was easy to clean up. Initially when you do this you will see a definite fluid pocket, but over time the skin will loosen up some and you'll have a much less defined area where the fluids go in. If you check out the links at Tanya's site she gives a lot of great pointers. Giving lots of love before, during, and after fluids also helps. Tabriz usually purred the whole time once I got my technique down.
A low red count could be caused by any one of a number of things. How low was it? Anemia can make them feel yucky and make appetite poor, but usually only if more severe (say less than 20% PCV).