Saying goodbye to Kyndra tomorrow :(

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Bonnie & Kyndra

Bonnie & Kyndra

Member Since 2010
I know I have been quite absent from the boards but wanted to at least share this as some of you have been a tremendous help to me thru my struggles with being unemployed and then Kyndra being diagnosed with Lung-Digit cancer back in April. It has been a long and difficult road, but she has been one amazing girl. I did nothing as far as meds except for Piroxicam and some long-lasting antibiotic injections to stave off infection due to the prolonged bandaging.

I have decided and then changed my mind three times already to have her euthanized. Today was one, but I was 2nd guessing again and instead brought her in to Laura (vet) for her assessment. She had not seen her for almost a month as I have been managing everything by myself at home. There have been changes in her breathing which meant the lung tumors were (finally?) rearing their demonic heads. Other problems had begun to arise quickly - yesterday her BG plummeted to 57 in the a.m. It has never ever been anywhere near that.

It is time. The chance of a lung tumor spontaneously bleeding, which could drown her is frightening. I think the piroxicam and her catnip sock have been the meds that have gotten her thru. I know my love and dedication allowed me to do everything I possibly could, but also is what is allowing me to release her.

Laura will come to the house tomorrow afternoon, I am grateful she will be at home. Darwin (bearded dragon), her buddy may soon follow, he is not well. Another lizard of mine died yesterday afternoon. Life can suck, but the love for and from our companions somehow makes it all worth it.

Bonnie, Kyndra, Lita & Darwin
(and the rest of the menagerie)
 
Bonnie, I don't know you but want to send you (((HUGS))) for making a difficult decision for the right reason -- because you love Kyndra and don't want her to suffer unnecessarily. I think it's beautiful that your vet is coming to your house for this, to spare Kyndra the trauma of another vet office visit.

You and Kyndra are in my prayers tonight.

Suze
 
Dear Bonnie,

I just wanted to let you know that you, Kyndra, Lita, Darwin and your other animal companions are in my thoughts.

With big hugs for all of you,
Elena
 
I am so sorry. :( I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you. I know there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel any better but thank you for giving this kitty so much love. They just don't stay with us long enough. :( Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your pets.
 
My heart and prayers go out to you and your beloved Kyndra.

The decision you're faced with is always hard and second guessing only human.

Know you've done all you can to ease Kyndra's suffering and that this next step is a continuation of your love.

Shai
 
(((Bonnie))) Praying for a peaceful crossing for Kyndra.

I am just a few days "ahead" of you on this journey. It is devastating to have this happen, to try everything, to hope your love for them and prayers can somehow create a miracle - and then to have to set them free as your only last resort.

Many hearts will be with you tomorrow as you say your goodbyes.

God speed, Kyndra, your momma loves you.
 
My heart is breaking for you. I know in my heart our animals were meant to be ours. Kyndra was sent from Heaven and will be by your side in spirit always. Sending you big hugs.
 
I am so sorry to read about your beautiful Kyndra. Your deep love for her is so clear in what you have written, and I'm so sorry you have to take on this incredibly painful decision to free her from her pain. You will be in my thoughts.
 
I am only getting around to reading messages, boards and email today, as I have just wanted to savor my own feelings and thoughts before "emerging."

Thank you to everyone who replied in one form or another- it is truly appreciated. Although I have not spent a lot of time on this board I always knew "you" were here for me and Kyndra.

Laura and a tech came late Friday. She responded very quickly to the sedative, even vet was surprised but said she was probably so tired already. It was quiet and peaceful. I miss her terribly and am crying as I write this, but I have no second thoughts about my decision.

Losing two companions in just a few days leaves my tiny apartment noticeably altered. Kyndra had a presence - I always knew when she was in a room - and now she is not :( I had her cremated and will come home next Tuesday. She will be placed with three others who went before her, one she lived with for two years before her passing in 2001.

Kyndra and her two favorite things – Darwin and her catnip sock.
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Just a few days before they said goodbye.
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Here are her bandaged feet, which I changed daily.
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Bonnie, those are great photos (well, maybe not the bandaged feet...). It is so heart warming to see inter-species love like that. I never would have though a cat and a bearded dragon would be friends. Those are memories to treasure. Kyndra is beautiful.

How is Darwin doing?

(((hugs)))
 
Hi Sheila,

Yes, they have been buddies for years. Kyndra and her "sister" Lita would play/play fight a few times a week, but they never cuddled like she and Darwin ;)

He is OK, still force feeding him, trying to get some weight on. I often wonder if he will someday, down the road, wonder where his furry buddy is and why he has not seen her? He is a lizard, so probably not, but I am surely glad to have the many, many photos of them.
 
What a beautiful tortie girl. It is never easy making the decision to say goodbye and then actually doing it. For such tiny creatures, it is incredible how much space they take up and we all take for granted. All I can tell you is that with time the pain will lessen and when you think of your loves, you may actually find yourself smiling through the tears.

Hugs to you.
 
I'm so sorry "the time" has arrived. It is out of Love you spare her, set her free of this world. I've been there and know how hard it is to watch our babies spiral downward, to have to "make the decision".

Your baby is free now, on Rainbow Bridge chasing butterflies and waiting to see you again.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))
 
I'm so sorry you made this hard decision, but you did it out of love so she wouldn't be in any more pain. You did everything you could for her and she knows this. She's a beautiful girl and I just love the picture of her cuddling with Darwin, what a love she is. Sending prayers and hugs :YMHUG: :YMHUG:
 
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