Pirate Fitz - the last voyage

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Shai and The Pirate Fitz (GA)

Member Since 2012
I have been incredibly blessed to set sail beside my beloved Pirate. That she is still with me is a testament to her fight and courage. She's skin and bones, but still ready to eat, sleep with mommy and swipe at the laser light if its dangled in her area.

She has also developed a large mass in her stomach region - it sticks out like a softball on both sides and is firm to palpation. Her glucose levels have fallen consistently into normal range the last two weeks. Between 76 and 103 and when she does spike it's after two or three days sans shots. Even then only into the high 200's.

As getting her to eat has become the main thing I'm pretty much giving her HC food as she loves it. Even with the massive increase in carbs her BG levels have been low.

Fitzel is on .17u bupe every 8 hours and B12 shots once a week.

When to say goodbye? Right now her pain is being managed as is her diabetes. The vet says now is the time but I think not yet. Fitzel isn't hiding. She eats. She will still play a bit. And she's all there. In her eyes. She takes good care of herself right now.

I do agree with the Vet that the mass is either pancreatic or stomach cancer. I'm thinking pancreatic as those tumors produce Insulin. Has anyone delt with panceatic cancer? I guess I'm looking for footprints on this I can use for guidance.

I won't allow her to be in pain. I won't allow her to starve to death. Her ideal weight was 8 pounds. She's now 5.5 pounds.

Gratitude in advance to any thoughts or relayed experiences.

Shai and The Pirate Fitz
 
The only advice from me is to love her while she is with you. Give plenty of hugs, talk to her, tell her what a difference she has made in your life.

Think about what you want to make the end of her life like. Where her final resting place will be.

Then send Pirate Fitz on her final voyage, with that snot halo and a final soothing bath of tears.
 
Do not have any medical advice for you. I can tell you know your Pirate and you will know the right time to say goodbye. My heart aches for you, but it sounds like you and Pirate had a wonderful life together. Good luck in this last voyage~
 
(((((((Shai))))))))
such mirky and rough waters you have in front of you......
I'm sorry to hear Fitzel is declining.
You did gain more time with her... I remember you showing up right after I got here even though it's never enough time.
I think you will know when. I hope she will let you know when she is ready.
From all our pm's, this is what we dread the most.
I will continue prayers for her and for you.
 
((((Shai)))) ((((Fitz))))

Your steadfastness and Fitz's courage are remarkable. I often think of you both -- wondering how Fitz is faring. The only words of wisdom i can offer is that our kitties tell us when it is their time. We just need to be smart enough to listen and I think you have been listening closely to Fitz. No matter how long this next to last voyage is to be, you will do what is right for Fitz.
 
Shai-
Sending Big :YMHUG: :YMHUG: :YMHUG: as you spend this final time w/ the Pirate Fitz. I have no experience with pancreatic or stomach cancer but agree with everyone else that you know your baby best. Continue to lavish her with love and she will let you know when the time has come. You are a wonderful caregiver and I pray for your continued strength in this last leg of the journey.

Karen
 
I have no advice, but do know and feel they will let you know when they feel it is their time. Fitz well tell you. Mannie told me. I often wondered if I'd know when, as he was so sick those last few weeks. and I did know - he told me in his own Way. I am sure that it will be the same for Fitz. You are so attuned to him, you will know. You both have such steadfastness and courage. You are one remarkable caregiver. Cherish there days. My hugs to you both.
 
Thank you Deb and Wink; Liz and Zenner and Anne, Cleo and Jane, Rhiannon and Shadow, Sienne and Gaby, Karen and Furball and Michele and Manie. Thank you for your heartfelt thoughts for my beloved Pirate.

On May 1 was Fitzel's 13th birthday. When things all started to go wrong earlier I begged and pleaded and made a deal with the AllMighty that if Fitz could just make it to her birthday I'd be happy. That would be enough. What a hypocrite I am. What a blasphemer! I fooled myself into thinking my birthday wish would come true. This nightmare would end and my Pirate magically well.

So I wheedled out another bargain - I wanted Fitz to be with me for MY birthday. And she was: June 6th.

I just fed dins to all and a sundry and chop licking is the name of the game right now. Even the Pirate ate a bit. Her PMPS tonight was 103 - and she's been eating HC wet food for about a week now. She was 86 AMPS. Her nadirs are running low 70's to 110, 112.

Fitz is now doing something quite odd - and it makes me nervous. When she lays down after cleaning herself she starts purring. Loudly. She sounds like a Geiger counter next to a micophone. This is new and I'm wondering if it's the purr of pain. I know cats do purr when they are in pain, but I'd never heard it in any of my GA's or the physically here kitties. I upped her bupe tonight from .17 to .2.

She's coming over to curl up in my lap, soon as I readjust the laptop. Okay, there. When she's laying on me I can feel the mass in the lower part of her belly. She's thin to about midpoint and then suddenly sways out in both directions and a bit down on her belly proper.

I want to believe I'll know. I want to believe I'm not fooling myself and that's the reason Fitzel's alive tonight instead of on her way to be cremated.

How can I do this when she's still eating? Still alert and cleaning herself so beautifully. Her litter box habits are normal but she is drinking more water the last few days than she has been, but she's not dehydrated.

My newest wish is to know. My desperate wish is to give her every minute of lovings and food and playing - but not one minute more than that. I even dane to say I wish she would take this decision out of my hands and pass peacefully on the bed or her favorite part of the couch. No fear, No Pain. Just glorious sleep...

I will keep you all in the loop. If not for this board and the extraordinary people who stay here and council and hand-hold and reassure and bring in the best information and remind you that ECID, my Pirate would have taken her boat to the heavenly seas many, many months ago.

In love and gratitude:
Shai and the Pirate Fitz
 
Your a great mommy, Blessed Be


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My Harley had stomach cancer but he I think was worse off it sounds then Fitz,
You will know when it time to set sail, you will know the right time and as log as
she is is no pain just love her lots..
Linda and Lucky
 
She sounds like she is doing fairly well to me and as long as you continue the pain management I don't see why a decision is needed yet... Think of the 5ps.. Especially the fact she is playing. That's a good sign... And she is eating and using her LB!

You will know when its time and it doesn't sound like now.
 
Thank you Linda and Lucky. I'm so sorry you had the big C experience with Harley. Fitz is my second time 'round with this hideous disease. It breaks everything down into hours - good ones where she eats, uses the LB normally, cleans herself and bats at a toy or two. The best of times is when we curl up together for long loving sessions.
The bad is every hour in between.

In those hours I hold her close and try to soothe her pains - both emotional and physical. I go to sleep telling her how much I love her and I wake up with the same words on my lips and in the strokes of my fi gets across her furr.

Thank you Wendy and Tiggy for all your encouraging words. These last few month feel so isolating. Fitz and I are alone in her Pirate boat. I see well wishers off on distant shores and am grateful for their presence. But on the boat there's only room for two.

Too everyone ; so much love is sent to each and every one of you. I won't be back until Pirate Fitz And I have pulled into our final port o' call.
 
Shai,
Hugs and hugs and more hugs and more....that's all I can do....and more hugs....thoughts and prayers...and more hugs...

Sweet Fitz - what an amazing love you have wrapped all around and through you...

Another loooooong hug,
 
shai, you WILL know! You are so in tune w/ Fitz and always there for her. Don't beat yourself up, it is her decision nas she will share it w/ you when the time is right.

Sending soothing calming vines to you both.
 
Dear ((((Shai)))),
You and Fitz have a wonderful life together. Fitz will know when she is ready to sail on and she will let you know. You are so attuned to her. When her time comes it will be unmistakable. In the meantime, shower her with love and keep the rudder steady.

You will know!

Hugs, scritches,

Ella & Rusty
 
Shai. I's soo sorry that Fitz is nearing her final voyage. Enjoy this time with Pirate Fitz and comfort her. Like the others, I believe that she will give you a sign when it's time to say goodbye. It might be a look or a jester but it will be understood by you. We have Pirate Fitz and you in our Prayers.
 
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