OMG... I'm so very very sorry to read this.... I know Odie is enjoying being pain free and healthy again, but also know the pain that you are experiencing.... I am so very sorry. Last year I too, had to free Charlie, as he was in pain, and there was nothing to be done... Hardest thing I've ever done...
May you find peace in knowing he is without pain... and I know he wouldn't want you in pain either... try to fake a smile once in a while when you want to scream out... little by little the smile should find its way back to your face. I'm not sure this will help you.. I wrote it, when I was crying so hard and wishing he was back with me again... I did stop wishing... AND I do know we will be together with them again.
I wouldn’t Wish Him Back!
© 2009 by Carol Notermann
I wish my Charlie was a kitten once again.
I wish that we could cuddle now and then.
I wish that I could kiss his little nose.
And peek at him, asleep in his repose.
But
I wouldn’t Wish Him Back Again!
I wish that I could tell him in detail
The wonders of Rainbow Bridge that will not fail.
Tell him angels will be there to pet him with their hands
I need to see he knows and understands
But
I wouldn’t Wish Him Back Again!
Oh God if I should wish him back with me.
And this sad wish you would grant to me.
How could I hear the pain within his cries.
How could I see the “help me” in his eyes.
But No -
I wouldn’t Wish Him Back Again!
For now I’ll wait and dream of him again
Pain Free with you Lord, and running once again.
I’ll wait, he’ll wait and together we shall be
When time and space are as they then shall be.
AND YES
I’ll Have Him Back With Me Again