My Heart is Breaking...sweet Smudge (GA)

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Carol & Smudge (GA)

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This is my very first message that i have posted, though i have visited this site many times. My tuxedo kitty Smudge was diagnosed with diabetes 4 years ago, in 2008 after many terrible bouts of vomitting, the vet began to treat him for IBD & pancreatitis. His BG numbers were never quite stable because of the steroid he was taking, though they were not terrible. Smudge just contined to lose weight, down from 20lbs to 13lbs, mostly seemed tired though he had an occasional good day. After receiving his blood work with his calcium level elevated, his vet recommended putting him to sleep on July 7th. She said cancer may be possible. It still seems unreal even as i type this. It hurts so deeply i feel that i cannot breathe, did i do everything i could do? As much as i ache for him, it wasn't fair to put him through more. Sorry, i know this message is all over the place, i just can't think straight. Thank you all in advance for understanding, i will probably need to stay in touch. Carol in Houston, TX.
 
Very very sad... I hate cancer and hate that it took your sweet Smudge from you. I'm so sorry! Of course we understand your pain, there is a special bond as we try our best to help our kitties get well. It is so unfair to have to say good bye to them. But you did the kindest thing and let him move on to where he no longer hurts and is young and playful again. Please take comfort in these thoughts.

Many tears today for you and the others who are hurting (((and hugs for you.))) Please post as often as you like. There is also the lovely grief forum for when you are ready to talk more about Smudge and your feelings. We welcome you warmly.
 
I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Smudge. I can only imagine how cute he must have been to earn a name like that.

The sadness and the pain you are feeling now is not going to go away quickly, but in time I hope that you will know that you did do the best job you could for Smudge and he was very well loved and I'm sure he loves you even more now, from the Bridge.
 
Sorry your sweet Smudge had so much to contend with. Setting Smudge free of all that suffering was the best last gift you could give. Fly free sweety.
 
Hi Carol -

That was me almost exactly, July 3rd. My tuxedo boy. Vet said it was time. I knew in my heart it was time. We had been through many battles and had made it triumphantly home a few times we really shouldn't have. I have since talked to so many who have gone through it and they all say the same thing.. once the urgency is over and you're home and have time on your hands to think/brood, you start to second guess and beat yourself up. It's a stage.. a necessary stage that really, really stinks. The fact that we are still agonizing over it doesn't mean we made a wrong choice - anyone who questions themselves like that is a truly devoted catmom, and how fortunate our kitties had someone like that looking out for them.

Reading about all the still dearly- loved and fondly remembered GAs here, I'm comforted to know ours are in good company. Sending good vibes your way... and what the heck, I will even loan you a few of my Mom's "now get some sleep" messages.." She's certainly given me several of those the last week!

Dani & Wily (GA)
 
(((((Carol))))) You are part of our community even though you have not posted before. We all are sorry for your loss, even though some may not post it. They have read and they have felt your sorrow. Fly free, sweetest Smudge, knowing how deeply you were and are loved. wings_cat

Carol, now that you have registered you will see our grief forum. Please visit there. The support is outstanding.
 
What a sad day. My heart is going out to you in your loss of your sweet little Smudge. I fear the day will come for me very soon too.
 
Thank all of you so very much for your kind words & support, it is truly appreciated at this difficult time. I really needed to share with others that have experienced similar issues with their furr-kids. If i may, please let me tell you just a bit about my punkin. Smudge was a very handsome tuxedo boy, he was a big kitty, at his largest he weighed in at almost 23lbs, so dropping to 13lbs was way too thin for him. His name came from the black smudge he had across the bridge of his nose, my niece wanted to name him Splatt but we agreed Smudge was better suited. His age was 15 years, it's so very hard to say goodbye to such a longtime companion as you can all imagine. Right now my home is unbearably quite, i know that i will have to bring home another kitty or two before long.
 
I'm so sorry.......it's so hard when they leave us. We know they are no longer in pain and in a happier place but it is still heartbreaking for those of us left behind.

I have a Smudge too...not a tuxie but a grey tabby. He is 16 with CRF and his two brothers went to the bridge last month....I fear his time will come soon as well.

Sharing your tears here....Fly free sweet Smudge
 
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Carol,


Thinking of you and your baby Smudge.
I'm partial to tuxedo's too. They always look like they have a big party to go to.


Sending prayers for comfort and peace and that you are doing well.
Take good care of yourself. cat_pet_icon
 
So sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you gave him a lot of loving and care during the years he was sick. You let Smudge go softly, and that was a mercy. I hope you can get some rest and then try to remember some of the good things. If you get a chance, we'd love to see a picture of Smudge. His little face sounds adorable.

laur
 
I'm so very sorry for your loss! I lost my Black & White Boy on June 7th, it does just break our hearts doesn't it. But you have to find solace in the fact that you gave your beloved Smudge the last gift we loving owners get to give - freedom from the pain and suffering. You made the decision to hurt more and sooner, so Smudge could hurt less. Its one of the greatest gifts we give our animal companions - right up there with giving them that loving forever home. You did everything you could, and then you did the last thing you wanted to do. Smudge is flying free now and will be there waiting for you when its your turn to cross over the Rainbow Bridge.

Like I told Yittle when it was his time - I'll see you again soon, but hopefully not too soon because there are lots of other kitties who need what you've had and I plan to give it to them.
 
So very sorry for your loss. Smudge sounds like he had the type of little black place on his nose like my Baby does. You gave him many years of good life with a loving mommy. Letting them go when it gets that bad is the very best thing to do.
Hugs
Lynn
 
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