Well, I have found one way to make feeding easier...this is a real art, feeding a cat who doesn't want to eat.
I started out with the catsoup...you all know that. And for a while it worked. But let's face it, catsoup looks AWFUL. Totally uninspiring. And it's only one trigger for cats, who take a host of variables into consideration when they eat. Taste, smell, color, texture, ease of eating.
Ohhh lookit that one variable...
texture. Any human who was forced to eat a hated food..(my food hate was applesauce) when they were a child will understand the horrid bulky, sometimes slimey bulkiness, and how one who doesn't want to eat it has a tendency to gag whenever that food gets forced into their mouth.
So pretty soon, Dottie figured out that slimy pureed food looked, and felt, and likely smelled a lot like eating liquid stools. ( I can't eat ranch dressing, which reminds me of food that comes 'up' after it's been 'down' awhile

And she didn't want to eat THAT!
So then I approached from Chris's angle of feeding, and tried a spoon. It's a beautiful way to eat if the cat approves. Very mother/child. The new method distracted my kitty for a bit..but then she bumped her tender toothless mouth against the spoon, and THAT option was out!


I substituted my soft fingertip instead of a spoon, scooping up a bit on my index finger, facing her, prying open her mouth, and placing a dot of glop far back on her tongue. Nope..too close to the throat-hole, and she would gag.

I tried further front up in her mouth..and that was a bit better. But she
still struggles a bit if I do this,

turning her head away from me, forcing me to wrestle a bit as I manipulate her jaws.
Today things are much better. I changed my tactics, and this just might be the magic. I place her on my lap, so I'm not facing her directly. This eliminates the direct confrontation that no one likes when someone tries to convince us to see things their way. I pet her for a while, comb her head, (she loves this)..and then sneak up on her from above, and lower one hand until I can press gently on both sides of her mouth. My hand becomes, in essence, a cat-hat that does double duty as a wedge.
When she does start to open her mouth a bit, I then place food on the tip of my finger, but I don't put it on her tongue. Instead,
I touch the food up against the roof of her mouth, just at the very front. It's easy to get the liquidy food
IN, because I can use the front rim of her upper jaw to scrape off the goo, and it's still
IN her mouth. Putting it on the roof of her mouth totally removes any chance that the cat will flex it's tongue and gag. That corrugated hard palate also holds the food very nicely.
Dottie's then free to close her mouth, allowing the food to go onto her tongue without danger that she'll gag. Closing her mouth is her idea, instead of being a reflex action.
To my delight, she seems perfectly ok with this! She has stopped trying to force her head away, and instead, places her head in the palm of my open hand, in between times when I use that hand and finger to scoop the food. This leaves the hand I use to open her jaws, free to pet her for a moment. Dinner was peaceful.
This whole procedure cannot be rushed. Any attempt to speed the whole process up, adds to the stress.
Tonight, Dottie almost fell asleep with her head in my palm! She closed her eyes. And when I pinch her jaws, she opens them, and has actually taken a few licks of food residue off my finger! She was totally relaxed on my lap, allowing me to get in even more in-between pets...she loves having her head petted just between and above her eyes. So suddenly, for at least one day, I'm not struggling with her, to get that gooey mess of pureed food into her mouth.
We'll see how long she stays agreeable.

I've learned from everyone and their "anti-jinx" commentaries, that just when you start to pat yourself on the back, cats do a u-turn and say "NOPE.


Not gonna do it."
I'll keep you all posted.