Just got new cats, advice please?

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First, thank you everyone for your kind words when I lost my beloved Grey. While I have a great support system of friends, my boyfriend, and even the vet, I can't tell you enough what your words meant to me. Yall "got it" as far as understanding Grey's needs even though I didn't give the daily blow-by-blow details...yall understood what it takes to really provide for a diabetic with CRF. While I still miss Grey dearly, I'm at peace with what I had to do. I'm very thankful for those of you who have "been there" with any special needs cat because yall understood the level of hurt I was feeling, and it helped me get through my finals with straight A's knowing that I did the very best that any person could have done. Thank you all!

Second, after a lot of thought, I decided to go to the humane society and the shelter. The shelter had a cat I'd been eyeing for several days, but when I got there I ended up liking two more. They were kind enough to do a multi-cat discount adoption for me, and the cat is been eyeing (Gadget 1 YO) is a total love! He's different from Grey, and just what I need. I ended up with a polydactyl (Julie 7 months), and a paisley calico kitten (Bailey 12 weeks). Here's the problem: Bailey is seriously trying to kick tail and take names, while Gadget doesn't much care, Julie is so upset she started hissing and trying to bite me. I feel bad about it, but I had to put Bailey in the bathroom with food, water, and litter for a while, and now Julie is beginning to calm down. I'm thinking I need to return Bailey and possibly get Julie's littermate who is a male and seemed really laid back. Thoughts?

For what it's worth, I've only ever owned females, are males normally more laid back? I think Julie's littermate would make a sort if intermediary for her...? No joke, this kitten (Bailey) is more than I can handle.

Thanks for any and all advice/thoughts!

Suzanne
 
All of my male cats get along fine once they were fixed, but the girls still fight and have been together for two years now.
At least in our house the girls get along fine with the guys but having two queen bee's has caused all sorts of problems.
 
Queen Bee's...you just summed up what I'm seeing! Gadget tries to play with whoever but isn't rough when playing. Julie is cautious and lightly neurotic, but not aggressive. Matter of fact, she just came out again, so I picked her up and put her in my lap as I type this. She's warming up to Gadget, but slowly. Bailey is doing her best to tear my guest bathroom apart. I added a towel for her to sleep on until the morning. My boyfriend gets off work in a few minutes, so I'm going to ask his opinion as well.

I'm really thinking that Julie's littermate would be a better third. At least kittens tend to be easy to adopt. I preferred adults believe it or not to avoid the kitten craziness, but Bailey was so friendly in her cage I just couldn't leave her. I feel like a jerk, but no joke I had two crazy women in the house, not including me! I think I'll call in the morning and explain the situation.

For feeding I have the Purina Kitten dry, and several cans of low carb medium phosphorus wet food down; eventually I'll move everyone to canned only. Maybe throw some chicken gizzards every now and then for teeth cleaning? I'm having Gadget neutered this Friday, after I talk to the shelter I'll call and tell them that I've got two boys coming...

Thanks!
 
How about trying a Feliway diffuser?

And doing a re-introduction process, gradually, with treats for tolerating each other?
 
Update: I ended up returning the kitten and picking up the pokydactyl littermate. My awesome vet let me bring both boys in for neutering and rabies shots. The shelter was very understanding, and were actually thrilled that the two littermates were being reunited. Both boys came out of surgery just fine, and I'm picking them up tomorrow. Julie has returned to being the cat I met at the shelter.
 
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