tollandjun
Member Since 2014
I never got to post here regularly like I wanted to, due to a unreliable computer & 'net access. Just wanted to do a follow-up to let you know about Jun, who I posted about a few times and you all gave some great advice about.
At 1:36 am this morning his journey here ended. He hadn't been right, sugar was high but we worked on switching insulin and for that day (Monday), it seemed to help. That night, he ate well and seemed really good. By the next morning, I could see it in his eyes, he was failing. Jun's life has been a series of little miracles with getting him through one crisis after another - but I knew in my heart it was time. So, we opted to keep him home and make him comfortable. By Wed. morning he actually seemed to pick up, was even sitting like his old self under the table and I decided maybe he still wanted to fight.
We got him to the vet a bit later, and they were just brining him back from taking blood when he had an odd stiffening. He was taken back for fluids and the blood work came back showing severe anemia and some other blood worries. An ultra sound didn't show any obvious masses, but the way the lining of his intestines was, the vet said it can be seen in cats with lymphoma. There was a chance it was simply anemia brought on by his life long IBD, so we went with giving him a B12 injection and keeping him on fluids. I checked on him before I left and he seemed more alert.
A part of me wishes I hadn't taken him in, but I try to find comfort in that it allowed him to get some fluids, be comfortable and gave the wonderful people at the vet clinic a chance to say good-bye. I picked him up at 5 pm and was rather upset the Dr. had said he seemed 'good' when he was totally limp. I would have brought him home much sooner if I had know he had been like that. His eyes were still there, though - if that makes sense. He had waited for me.
I held him in the vet office for awhile, a few people came to talk a bit. The ride home felt like forever. He kept looking in my eyes the entire time, and thankfully my sister was driving so we just held each others gaze. I kept talking to him and it seemed like at one point the part that was Jun sort of left and he got this blank look.
At home, we laid him on my bed, where he loved to stay. I wanted to hold him on my lap, but you could tell it made him uncomfortable, so I lay next to him. Around 1:36 this morning he took his last breath - I was there next to him, holding his paw. I am thankful it was a more peaceful death, he had no pain - with the anemia he just sort of faded out.
Just can't believe my little guy is gone. He was such a fighter. Such a personality. I kept thinking of him as that spunky little kitten who had joined our family on the 4th October all those years ago. Where did the time go? I do know the days were getting longer for him, it'd been awhile since he really played, and a few days since he last sat and enjoyed the view from the window.
Don't know what I'm going to do without him. There are already so many empty spots around the house, in my heart. So much of my time was spent taking care of him, I don't know how I'll fill all that time.
I don't want to regret, but a part of me can't let go I should have kept him at home Wed., and not taken him to the vet. I just didn't want to cheat him out of a chance, as we have had so many close calls before. I think I was thinking of me and not him. He had been laying on my lap before we left for the vet, and I had moved him to ready to go. I should have just sat there and let him be. I think he'd have died sooner and on my lap, which was his fave place. I guess no matter how it ends- we are filled with 'should haves'.
I wish I could post his picture, but don't know how to.
To Jun: I miss you buddy. Thank you for waiting for me to get you from the vet. That made it easier to say goodbye and allowed you to be at home, which is where I always wanted you to be when the time came.
At 1:36 am this morning his journey here ended. He hadn't been right, sugar was high but we worked on switching insulin and for that day (Monday), it seemed to help. That night, he ate well and seemed really good. By the next morning, I could see it in his eyes, he was failing. Jun's life has been a series of little miracles with getting him through one crisis after another - but I knew in my heart it was time. So, we opted to keep him home and make him comfortable. By Wed. morning he actually seemed to pick up, was even sitting like his old self under the table and I decided maybe he still wanted to fight.
We got him to the vet a bit later, and they were just brining him back from taking blood when he had an odd stiffening. He was taken back for fluids and the blood work came back showing severe anemia and some other blood worries. An ultra sound didn't show any obvious masses, but the way the lining of his intestines was, the vet said it can be seen in cats with lymphoma. There was a chance it was simply anemia brought on by his life long IBD, so we went with giving him a B12 injection and keeping him on fluids. I checked on him before I left and he seemed more alert.
A part of me wishes I hadn't taken him in, but I try to find comfort in that it allowed him to get some fluids, be comfortable and gave the wonderful people at the vet clinic a chance to say good-bye. I picked him up at 5 pm and was rather upset the Dr. had said he seemed 'good' when he was totally limp. I would have brought him home much sooner if I had know he had been like that. His eyes were still there, though - if that makes sense. He had waited for me.
I held him in the vet office for awhile, a few people came to talk a bit. The ride home felt like forever. He kept looking in my eyes the entire time, and thankfully my sister was driving so we just held each others gaze. I kept talking to him and it seemed like at one point the part that was Jun sort of left and he got this blank look.
At home, we laid him on my bed, where he loved to stay. I wanted to hold him on my lap, but you could tell it made him uncomfortable, so I lay next to him. Around 1:36 this morning he took his last breath - I was there next to him, holding his paw. I am thankful it was a more peaceful death, he had no pain - with the anemia he just sort of faded out.
Just can't believe my little guy is gone. He was such a fighter. Such a personality. I kept thinking of him as that spunky little kitten who had joined our family on the 4th October all those years ago. Where did the time go? I do know the days were getting longer for him, it'd been awhile since he really played, and a few days since he last sat and enjoyed the view from the window.
Don't know what I'm going to do without him. There are already so many empty spots around the house, in my heart. So much of my time was spent taking care of him, I don't know how I'll fill all that time.
I don't want to regret, but a part of me can't let go I should have kept him at home Wed., and not taken him to the vet. I just didn't want to cheat him out of a chance, as we have had so many close calls before. I think I was thinking of me and not him. He had been laying on my lap before we left for the vet, and I had moved him to ready to go. I should have just sat there and let him be. I think he'd have died sooner and on my lap, which was his fave place. I guess no matter how it ends- we are filled with 'should haves'.
I wish I could post his picture, but don't know how to.
To Jun: I miss you buddy. Thank you for waiting for me to get you from the vet. That made it easier to say goodbye and allowed you to be at home, which is where I always wanted you to be when the time came.
