Jeddie's Independence (its been a week)

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Dear Sheila,

I'm so sorry for your losss. I'm sure Jeddie whispered to Beau...
...that giving belly rubs might help Mama through her sadness.

I hope you can take comfort in knowing...
...that a part of Jeddie now lives on in Beau.


Big Hugs & Deepest Sympathy,

Deb and The Barn Cats
 
Sheila, I'm so very sorry that you're feeling so much pain. I think it's very telling that Beau is now letting you rub his belly. Allow yourself and Beau and your other kitties (I'm sorry, I'm not sure how many you have) to take comfort in each other.

I'm glad you have a friend/neighbor you trust, too, and I hope you can be comforted by him as well.

Lots of hugs,
Elena
 
((Sheila)) I don't know how I missed this post but somehow I did and am just seeing it. I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to that handsome boy of yours - those pictures are spectacular - what a handsome guy. My heart goes out to you - and about that "special look" you said you failed to capture on film - you will never forget that or the feeling you had when you saw it. That must be so deeply embedded in your heart and memory.

What a life you gave to him by taking him in when he needed you - and what love you both shared.

I am so sorry that he had to leave you so soon - but hopefully those wonderful memories and love you shared will bring a smile to your face soon - that's what he has left behind for you - together with all the love he could muster.

Sending many hugs and comforting prayers.

Emmy & Dude (& Mittsi too)
 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your special boy. Whether unexpectedly fast or knowingly slow the passing of our kitties is, in so many ways, akin to the passing of our children.

A week is so soon after such a loss. Allowing your heart to grieve in the way you need to is the best gift you can yourself right now.

Shai and Fitzel
 
I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry Sheila. I wish I could take your pain away. I havent lost a pet yet in my 20 years of life, and Im TERRIFIED of the day that will happen, especially with my babygirl.

Therefore I dont think I have much room to speak, but I just want to say, its understandable that you arent ready to look at pictures of him or write about him. Long story short, Ive been through a lot of counselling through my teens and with an extremely hard break up from who I thought was the love of my life, and my bestest friend in the whole world giving up on our friendship, Ive learned that there is a grieving process before you can feel 'happy' again. You cannot rush the grieving process, you just need to let it happen. You'll probably feel anger a bit, but mostly sad. Let the tears fall, its healthy, its okay. Eventually you will be able to look at pictures of Jeddie again and smile, I promise. Though I must say, maybe writing about him, though I'm sure it will make you cry, may make you feel a bit better afterwards. Just a suggestion.

We're all here for you though, even though I know its nothing compared to what Jeddie brought you. That is amazing about Beau and it does make you wonder. I think he is probably happy with all the other cats, high off of catnip. I hope that gives you some comfort. :YMHUG:
 
Yes, Sheila, I am sure Jeddie is with you in ways we don't fully understand. When I lost my tabby cat Felicity a couple of years ago, I thought that I would never feel whole again. Then, this past January a stray tabby came to my door - over and over and over again. We rarely have strays in our neighborhood, so this was an odd occurrence. I finally broke down and adopted her, and named her Bella. Immediately, Bella began exhibiting mannerisms that (in my mind) were unique to Felicity -- like twisting her head and trying to put it into my cupped hand while simultaneously flopping on her back -- a complicated and comical "weird" gesture only done by Felicity. Is Bella the same personality as Felicity? No, but I often sense Felicity's spirit manifested in Bella -- and it makes me smile. Do I understand it? No, but I accept it nonetheless. So my suspicion is Jeddie is sitting there next to you, telling Beau, "Hey, come on, let mom rub your belly. It makes her happy. Humans are weird that way." :)
 
Sheila, I'm so sorry. I remember well when Jeddie was was first posted and needed a home (I still have an image of that first pic in my head), how you ultimately stepped up, and how I had that sinking 'ut oh' feeling when he proceeded to ruin your BR carpet. Yet you worked through all that and he ended up worming his way into so many hearts. It feels so unfair, this last few months, the cancer, having to make that final decision. All I can say is 'thank goodness for diabetes' for without it Jeddie would never have entered your life ... or you his. Even though his time with you was too short, I've got to think he wouldn't have traded it for anything.

I know it's hard right now. And will be for awhile. But some day in the future, you'll be able to think of him and a smile will come rather than tears. In the mean time, know that others care.

Fly free, Jeddie.
 
And, for those that don't remember, or weren't here yet, here is that first photo:


It has never been a favorite of mine, I think because he looks a bit apprehensive in it. I have so many "favorite" ones of him, that I don't think I can choose a #1 favorite.

There are many things to be grateful for in this story (aside from Jeddie): feline diabetes, the internet, caring people, being laid off so I have been home for the last two years freelancing.....I mean, if it had to happen then I got to spend more time with him these last 23 months than I would have otherwise. And I know, out of all my cats, it made the most difference to him.
 
I really hope you're doing better Sheila. If I could give you all the hugs in the world, I would.


I just wanted to say, I didnt really realize how much of an impact Jeddie made on me and my life. You may think, what? You never even met him. But I fell in love with him. When you had posted about the chance of his life coming to an end sooner than what was thought, something in me just...dropped? I remember when that final day came, you had said you'd post when you get back, I seriously kept refreshing the page over and over hoping that something changed and he would be able to still be here a bit longer. When I read this post, I cried. For him, for you and just how beautifully written it was.

The reason I'm saying this now, is I was hanging out with my mom last night, and we're pretty close. She knows about this board and all that. I dont know how the conversation got started but I started to talk about this board, but more importantly Jeddie. I explained everything, and tried to tell her about this post and his final hours of life. I just got so choked up as I was talking and I just starting crying (and tearing up now). Dont get me wrong, most things with animals will get a tear out of me, but not so immediate, especially over the internet with them not right in front of me. It just hit me so hard. I cant explain it.

I find myself wanting to type 'I miss him', but how when I've never met him? I dont understand it. Either way, its nothing compared to the feelings you are having. He just made such an impact on so many people, probably more than you know, Sheila. I miss him, a lot. I just want to snuggle him and just cry, though after posting this, I'll be doing that with my baby. cat_pet_icon

I really hope you're okay though and that its getting a bit easier. Please keep us updated on how you're doing. :YMHUG:
 
My heart is with you. Such a difficult time which I understand all too well.

I hope your grief will soon be softened with memories of Jeddie's love and special bond with you.

peace, blessings, love;
Shai
 
I just got home from a trip to northern MI (lower) where my family has a house. Behind the house, there are woods and this is where I buried Jeddie. It is where I have buried all my cats since 1986.

My grandparents built the house and retired there in the late 60s. It is a place that my grandmother had been going to since she was a girl. Her ashes are scattered in the woods because she loved them so much and requested it if we "weren't too squeamish about it". I like to think of her as watching over my cats.

Jeddie was buried curled up into a sleeping position with his head on the catnip pillow toy Venita sent. I placed a piece of knitted lace I made over him and a sprig of catnip and a catnip toy I made for him last Christmas in with him. He is wrapped in the fleece blanket that he used to cuddle with Beau on and he is lying in a basket woven with two shades of green to match his eyes. All of that was finally wrapped with the white towel that his former owner sent with him in his carrier when I got him.

I found a spot near my cats Murphy (2007) and Charlotte (2011). It had a single tuft of grass growing in an open area. I placed that tuft of grass back in the center and surrounded it with 13 stones. Actually, the 12th stone split in half horizontally. I like to think that represents the half of his 13th year he didn't get to finish. When I dug the hole, there was "red' sand down deep. I spread that on top and around the stones. It is nearly the color of his fur. The sun plays in an out of the tall trees and the birds chirp.

Here is his grave.............................................and here are the woods


and if you are so inclined, here is a link to a video of the setting:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/28246908@N06/7674254300/in/photostream
 
Oh my gosh Sheila...every single detail is just so touching...so beautiful. Sending continued thoughts, and condolences, during this time of sadness. Hugs.
 
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