Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologist)

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Sheila & Beau GA & Jeddie GA

Sheila & Beau GA & Jeddie GA

Member Since 2009
Since we won't be celebrating his 13th b-day, I thought I would just throw that out here. Another reminder of the sadness of all this. Sigh.

Pamela, to answer your question at the end of the other thread - yes, I can feel the prayers and support from all of you. It makes a difference. I really does.

My plan is to call the oncologist's vet tech tomorrow at about 7:30 and beg and plead that they squeeze us in tomorrow (she has a short day with a very full schedule). I don't expect that there is anything she can do at this point, but I want to know for sure. The last time she saw him he was doing very well, so for me to suddenly cancel his next chemo (July 9th) and say he was PTS would leave her totally dumbfounded, I am sure.

And then I have to figure out when will be the right time to set him free. It has been suggested to me that I need to do it now and that he is suffering. But how can I take a cat that is totally mobile, taking in food and water, still being himself to a great degree and just end it?

When I came home tonight and opened my condo door, he ran out into the hall and sharpened his claws on my neighbors welcome mat - a totally Jeddie thing to do. Then he came into the kitchen and paced around while I got his food ready (he has had about 5 ozs so far today) - another totally Jeddie thing to do. My downstairs neighbor came up to see him and we all sat on the balcony where Jeddie rubbed his face all over Brad's hand, head-butted the chair legs, purred, got brushed and presented his belly for rubbing while rubbing his paw on the side of his head - all totally Jeddie things. He torn off a part of a catnip leaf this morning and managed to chew and swallow it.

I don't think he is ready. Maybe I am fooling myself. I just don't think I can do this yet.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

I agree, Sheila. Please ask the oncologist what she thinks of a feeding tube. Other than having to be fed, his QOL sounds very good. You are helping make that possible for him. It sounds like he is having more good days than bad still. Yesterday was a bad day, but then you figured something out, feeding on the balcony, and then you gained a little different perspective yourself, so you're more able to see the positive things he's doing that show he is not in pain. He wouldn't be doing those things if he were in pain.

But maybe you don't want to do a feeding tube. That's OK too. As long as he's still able to take enough food to maintain his minimum requirement, his QOL should be OK. Right now it seems like the worst things are having to feed him and keep him clean and his tongue starting to hang out. That's not too bad. If he remains happy with that level of care and not refusing food, he's doing as well as can be expected.

Taking things one day at a time is the best you can do at this point. So today was a good day, cherish it. I love that he had a visit with your neighbor on the porch. Such a good day today and yesterday was not. You can compare the two days and use them as guides for the days to come.

cat_pet_icon
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

Somehow this seems like good news. He seems happy in a way. When Tigger scratches on his tree stump and he has not been feeling well, somehow I know he is feeling better. :) I hope and pray that is the case here with Jeddie.

I didn't know you were considering a feeding tube. As long as he is still taking the bottle feedings you have that connection with him. But I am not going through this on a daily basis, you are. :(

Talking to the oncologist should help if you can talk over the phone. I just hope you don't have to take him in is all. Maybe she will say to give it a little more time.

I am so sorry. This has to be so difficult and hard for you. Crap.

(((Sheila)))
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

(((Sheila)))
Only YOU and Jeddie know when it is time
SEe the oncologist today and see what she says
then you acan go from there....one step at a time
we are all here for you
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

I had not considered a feeding tube previously. It seemed that if we were at the point of needing that, it was on the downward slide because the tumor was too big and he was not going to ever regain the use of his mouth, but....

We have an appt at 10:40. I do need to take him in, Pamela. She needs to see his mouth and look at what the tumor is doing. And she might want to check bloodwork. I don't know what else. I just want to hear what she thinks at this point.

He did not want to take food this morning, but I am going to try again on the balcony in a few minutes. I washed his paws and his ruff with the waterless shampoo last night. He hated it, yowled and scratched at me to get away. His ruff is cleaner this morning, but matted. His paws look worse if anything. I might try to spot clean his face before I take him to the onclogist. I found a small oval brush that is totally useless for any animal except maybe a tiny kitten (not sure whey you would need to brush a kitten), but it works very well on the side of his face and he can rub his face on it. It is helping to knock off some of the crud. Unfortunately, the crud comes off with clumps of fur.

Well, I will let you know what she says.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

Hoping you got some good insight from the doc, and hoping more for more good days.

I know you were reluctant about the feeding tube. I probably would be too... but it's a good point (above) that if that's the only issue, and otherwise he seems to be doing okay, I think I would have to reconsider. That might also alleviate some of the drooling/matted fur/dirty face issues that have worsened how you feel.

It sounds like he had a wonderful time w/ the neighbor's mat and the neighbor... I'm with you. As long as he's behaving like that, I don't know that I'd be able to make the final decision. Time will tell, and you'll know when it's time. In the meanwhile, I hope you get PLENTY MORE good days ahead.

Keeping you both in my thoughts & prayers.

Lu-Ann
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today

They took Jeddie back to exam him and when the doctor came in to talk to me, she just shook her head.

He is probably not able to swallow as well as he could just a few days ago. The tumor is progressing rapidly and she thinks "in about a week" he will be getting very uncomfortable. A feeding tube is a possibility, but would only extend his life a few days, maybe a week at most, while at the same time the tumor makes him more and more uncomfortable. We can manage the pain to an extent, but that would make him sleep through his last days. I don't want to put him through more measures for such little return.

I am not sure that he can manage the bottle anymore because it causes too much discomfort. I can feed him with a syringe by squirting 1/2 tsp amounts in the back of his mouth, but only get about 2-3 tsp at a time into him. Right now, my plan is to continue to feed as much as I can and monitor for any acceleration in his downward slide. I will set him free on Friday, sooner if things get worse faster than they are now. The oncologist thought that the end of this week was a reasonable time frame. After that he will probably begin to have kidney and liver trouble from too little calories.

This is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. As I keep saying, his end of life is turning out to be the hardest one to come to terms with for me and take that final step. I want these next four days to say our goodbyes and to come to some sort of acceptance of it. Peace about it is probably too much to ask God for right now.

I wanted so much more time with him and for him. I am going to miss his happy face so much.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

Sheila,
BIG HUGE HUG.....loooong hug. Just always remember that you've honored and respected the things Jeddie has taught and is teaching you - he couldn't have asked for a more perfect bean to do it right. I wish NO ONE ever needed to learn all about this. I think of you and your journey several times a day and say a little prayer that the road will be just a bit softer.

Another big hug,
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

(((Sheila)))
just know that we are all here for you..to help you through this
you are in al of our thoughts and prayers
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

Oh Sheila, this is so sad. His little body feels good, he knows when he is hungry, he has his good moments, but then that damn tumor just gets in the way. I am so sorry. I, like everyone, was hoping for better news and that by some miracle you would have much more time with him. He is such a sweet boy. This is so totally unfair. You have to think that there is a reason for everything, but I just don't get this one. He has had such a short time with you - you who has given him so much love. :( Continuing to send prayers for strength for you in these remaining days with your boy. ((((Sheila))))
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

((((((Sheila)))))

I am so sorry to have to read this, I think we were all praying for a miracle for you both. I so know what you mean about wanting both more time with him and for him, because that is exactly how I felt about Musette. With both of them we got the pleasure of watching them blossom under our care. I so remember when I did the Then and Now video for DCIN what a change there had been in Jeddie from the day you got him to where he was then with you. It was like I was looking at two entirely different cats! One so bedraggled and sad and other so stunning and full of life and love. It just isn't fair that you and he only got two precious years together. Put oh what a lifetime of love did you two cram into those short years.

There was a line on the card that I got after Musette past from my vet that brought me comfort and I hope that it does the same for you as well...

Do not cry or regret that it is over...Rejoice that it happened at all. Look back with love at the time spent together and realize that without you it would have never been.

Mel, Maxwell, Autumn, Musette(GA) & The Fur Gang.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

I don't think it makes sense either to put him through the surgery and difficulty of the feeding tube when it would only help him for such a short time. It sounds like the tumor will eventually obstruct his airway.

This is so hard for all of us. Watching Gandalf's whole body fail him was incredibly hard. But to have to let him go with only a small part failing would have just torn me up.

I pray that Friday is a bright sunny day and he enjoys some sunshine. There has to be sunshine to make the rainbow.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

MommaOfMuse said:
((((((Sheila)))))

There was a line on the card that I got after Musette past from my vet that brought me comfort and I hope that it does the same for you as well...

Do not cry or regret that it is over...Rejoice that it happened at all. Look back with love at the time spent together and realize that without you it would have never been.

Mel, Maxwell, Autumn, Musette(GA) & The Fur Gang.
Click to expand...

That is such a wonderful sentiment. Thanks for sharing that, Mel.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

It may be worse. I might have to set him free tomorrow.

I have been getting 3 tsp into him every couple of hours - not optimal, but over 16 hours would be the minimum to ward off things like DKA and fatty liver. At 7:30 I gave 2 tsp (he always drools more right afterwards), and he was really not liking the process. After the second tsp, all this blood started coming from his mouth. I tried to look for where it was bleeding and it looks like along the side of the tongue back about where the corner of his mouth is. It has stopped now - seemed to stop in a few minutes, but now I am afraid to feed him. I know I have to try again, but if this keep happening, I can not delay until Friday.

Right after that he wanted out on the balcony, so I let him go out even though it is warm and a little muggy out there. He went to the railing and looked out, then went over to the catnip plants and stuck his head into them, trying to bite the leaves. After that he laid down under a chair and went to sleep with his head resting on his paw - in quite a normal cat way.

Thank you all (again) for your support and prayers. I need them all so much right now.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

(((Hugs)))) and prayers coming your way. To/for both of you. We're here with you.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

(((Sheila)))

I want to share with you my experience with "when it's time". We've had two now in the past year; Simon 2 weeks ago, and Dak, early last year. Simon was 15 and from old age, his spine has fused together near his rear end. For about the past 6 months, he didn't have very good control of his bowel because of nerve involvement and it was an effort to get up every single day. He would never get better, so we watched him closely, made sure he was still happy and without pain or loss of dignity. Very recently, things became worse and he woke up two mornings in his own urine. I think he just couldn't get up to make it outside. And then one morning, he made a tiny whimper as he took a step and he just looked at me with almost sad eyes - he never had sad eyes in the 15 years I knew him. It was then that I knew and I think he did too, that it was time. Things got better for a few days, but I still knew. I knew I never wanted him to suffer or feel pain and I had just seen because I had a glimpse of what that looked like. We decided that the next day was his to be free.

For Dak, she had lymphoma and we went through rounds of chemo each month. As the time for the next dose came near, her glands in her neck wound begin to swell. I always knew before I could feel them because her breathing changed, making it just a little bit harder. Each time between appointments was about 30 days until the 4 month mark when only 10 days passed between her chemo and the swelling. We, like you, went to see the oncologist right away - it was Monday. She told us there was nothing more that the medicine could do and that by week's end, Dak would begin to suffocate because the growing lymph nodes pressing and closing in our her throat. We made the decision to set her free on Wednesday, before she would feel the pain and anxiety of her throat closing in. We knew what the end had in store and we wanted more than anything to spare her that agony.

There is no right or wrong in the situation Sheila, there's only time and pain and broken hearts. I'm so, so sorry.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

Sheila & Beau & Jeddie said:
It may be worse. I might have to set him free tomorrow.

I have been getting 3 tsp into him every couple of hours - not optimal, but over 16 hours would be the minimum to ward off things like DKA and fatty liver. At 7:30 I gave 2 tsp (he always drools more right afterwards), and he was really not liking the process. After the second tsp, all this blood started coming from his mouth. I tried to look for where it was bleeding and it looks like along the side of the tongue back about where the corner of his mouth is. It has stopped now - seemed to stop in a few minutes, but now I am afraid to feed him. I know I have to try again, but if this keep happening, I can not delay until Friday
Click to expand...

Oh Sheila, maybe it is because of all the probing they did today? I don't know. My heart is breaking for you going through this and not knowing what to do.

Sheila & Beau & Jeddie said:
Right after that he wanted out on the balcony, so I let him go out even though it is warm and a little muggy out there. He went to the railing and looked out, then went over to the catnip plants and stuck his head into them, trying to bite the leaves. After that he laid down under a chair and went to sleep with his head resting on his paw - in quite a normal cat way.
Click to expand...

I wonder if trying to eat the catnip is because he is trying to self-medicate himself in some way? They only have to get the juices and not the actual plant. Cats have that amazing ability to know what is best for them when they are ill. I am glad you have the catnip there for him to give him some comfort. Can you bring some indoors for him when he is not out there? Maybe it numbs his tongue?

Sheila, I wish there was something I could say or do to help in some way. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers my friend.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

((((Sheila, Jeddie, and Beau too)))) I am so sorry that the end of your time with Jeddie is growing near, but it sounds like now is that time. May you forever hold your memories of the good times with him, and how much you were to each other.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

((((((Sheila & Jeddie)))))) My heart breaks for you.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

Sheila and Jeddie I am so sorry this has been happening to you two.

I read each posting in the hopes that you have had a good day. This is heartbreaking to see and yet I understand.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

So far, so good. Not great, but not as bad as I feared (knock wood, anti jinx).

There has not been any more blood (thank, God!) and I figured out yet another way to feed him and get about 1 TB in each time. It is forced feeding now. He does not like it much, but allows me with some complaints. I was trying to squirt food back in his mouth with a feeding syringe by tilting his head back, but found doing the same thing, but using the bottle, is easier and I can get more in (1-1.5 tsp instead of .5 tsp per squirt) - and yes I am being careful about not causing aspiration.

I have been just brushing him and patting him so he doesn't feel like every time I come near I am going to poke and prod him. He purrs when I brush him, he has always liked it, and rubs his face on the soft brush.

It's too hot now to go out on the balcony and he did not spend much time out there before it heated up because I kept doing things to him and he got weary of it. He is staying under an antique crib that sits about 6-7" off the floor and I just moved it and thoroughly vacuumed under there so he was a clean place to be. I wish I could change the weather for these last few days so he could be out there all day if he wanted to. Sigh....

I am exhausted. Yesterday was a very difficult day. Being emotionally upset takes so much out of you. I tried to nap, but both my phones rang so I gave up. I didn't get to bed until after midnight and then got up at 4am to feed him and then give subQ fluids. I accidentally gave him 150 ml instead of 100 because it was a new unit and I could not see the level very well. I guess that will be ok. Then I tried to go back to sleep but tossed and turned until 6 and got up. Actually, I had a good two hours on the balcony drinking coffee, enjoying the birds chirping, crocheting and then eating breakfast - and trying to get Jeddie to come out and stay for a while. I have to get a nap in today.
 
Re: Jeddie - 12-1/2 y.o. today (update from appt w/oncologis

It's good to hear your boy is getting a bit more food in him, despite the protests, and wonderful to hear his purr motor is still working just fine.

I hope the 2 of you have a nice and gentle day together today, and that he is able to join you on the balcony for a bit.
 
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