I'm starting to scare myself

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Misterbeesmom

Misterbeesmom

Member Since 2016
i am starting to get really angry at my cat. This is new and frightenting.

He is drinking and peeing all the time. He is in the pinks most of the time no matter what i do. He has been unregulated for nearly a year now. Every time he goes to his water bowl i want to scream. Every time he pees i want to scream. When i empty the litter box for the milliointh time every day i am starting to really resent it.


I have sought help from multiple vets. I have sought help on this board for months. I have tried different insulins. I am going insane.
I have spent thousands of dollars on vet visits. Thousands. For a cat who isnt getting any better.
I am looking for help here again today. Please dont let me down i'm at wits end. I'm starting to consider things i dont even want to say, and its scaring the **** out of me.
 
Jen

I TOTALLY understand. It seems all I do is fill the water bowl and clean the litter box.....over and over and over. One kitty has been almost 2 years (he does have other health issues) the other is 7 months and although there are some good days, there are just as many bad. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, no social life...consists mostly of going out to get more supplies, haven' t had a decent sleep in almost 2 years. Basically this is caregiver burn-out and it happens to all of us. especially when we are not seeing good results in spite of all our efforts. :bighug: :bighug:


The one thing I am seeing is that Mr B seemed to have better numbers when on Lantus. Although there were definitely a lot of bounces you were getting a lot more blues and even greens. I don't know why you changed to Vetsulin and there is no data for the time you were using it, which seems to be about 3 weeks??, then you switched to PZI. Also when you started with PZi you were doing assorted dosing times before going to 12 hour dosing. From what I am seeing I don't know if the PZI is the best insulin for Mr B or if you need more time to see how it will work out.

Sorry I can't add anything more, but hopefully others will have some thoughts,

Be kind to yourself and take some time just for you to relax and get away from the caregiver routine, at least for a little while. It can certainly wear down a petparent both physically and emotionally.:bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
 
Jennifer, I am sorry that things are not good right now and have not been. I have been where you are mentally as I think more on here have as well. I know that you feel like you are wasting time and money and emotional attachment when you think that nothing is improving! I would like to point out to you that you must be doing something good as Mr. Biddles is still alive. I don't know your personal situation but if you are dealing with this alone with no help in the home, I totally get it! Me too! But if you just absolutely cannot deal with it any more, please consider rehoming your boy. Hang in there!
 
I'm so glad you're reaching out here. Have you talked with a professional about your feelings?

I am prone to anger. And rage. As in seriously out-of-my-mind kind of rage, and over some pretty "meaningless" things. It startles me how certain things can have me go from 0 to 1,000 in just a second.

There are a few things that have helped me, and maybe they will help you too.

Try stating what you're feeling and in response to what. For me, an example might be, "I am devastatingly enraged because my terminally ill cat peed on the floor for the second time this morning." Sometimes just taking a moment to verbalize just how awful I feel and why is enough to jar me out of my grumpy moment and feel empathy for myself and the object of my anger.

The second thing is attempting to empathize with the object of your anger. It's very hard to feel angry while you're empathizing.

The third thing is to feel gratitude for the situation.

My terminally ill cat really did pee on the floor twice this morning, but I wasn't devastated or enraged by it. I used this as an example because I know in the past similar things have happened (pee, vomit, diarrhea) that *did* actually make me feel that way and ruin my whole day. What was different about today?

I am so grateful I am able to sit down on the floor and clean up his pee. I'm so glad he's drinking and eating at all. I'm so grateful I am able to care for him. I have the capability to do this much, and I'm so happy to do it. He is such a sweet and precious animal, even at his worst, and all I want is goodness for him. I want to be a good thing to/for him. I am glad I can do something. We have so little time with the people and animals we love.

After working on my anger for a while, I am usually able to step back and have this gratitude response instead of an anger response. And when I do feel anger, I am typically able to use it in a positive way rather than feel overwhelmed or destroyed by it.

A professional can help you manage your feelings. You need to take care of yourself. I want a better life for you. Please get help.
 
Don't know if it could help but during my research on Berberine, I saw some studies linking benefits for different urinary tract problems

And as Berberine is the most studied and promising natural compound regarding diabete disease and its complications, maybe it could help (at least a little) your cat's problem?
I've just put some of the berberine diabete studies in this thread : http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/...ith-berberine-quercetin-pls-need-help.166533/

Get well, and try music therapy ( on YouTube just type things like Binaural beats for stress, anxiety, anger etc), and just let the music enter and act on your brain, it will calm you down for sure!
 
Be angry at the disease, not at your cat. Remember, he can't help the things that are going on/happening to his body, that anger you. He looks to you for help, and trusts that you will be there for him. And you are, you are doing all you can to help him, even if you don't see the results of your labors! Imagine how much worse his situation could be if you weren't helping! I am not familiar with PZI and it's dosing, but would increasing his dose help bring his BG down to a better level? I know Squallie still pees absolute oceans, even when his BG is low, and I never even see him at the water-bowl.

I totally understand how negative feelings about dealing with feline diabetes can build up over time - we all sacrifice a part of our lives to care for our sugar kitties. If it is becoming too overwhelming, see if a friend or family member can give you a hand taking care of Mr. Biddles for a while, so you can have a little break. In the end, if your anger becomes too great, please consider rehoming him, for both your sakes.

Sending you prayers and strength. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

Afterthought: I have found two litters that hold up well to being swamped by massive amounts of pee - one is Okocat Natural Wood (the variety that's in the box with the blue at the bottom) and the other is a pellet type made from paper. The pellet type is harder to scoop, IMO, but they both stand up well to lots of pee.
 
Misterbeesmom said:
i am starting to get really angry at my cat.
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Oh, Jen ...

:bighug::bighug::bighug:

I can imagine that just thinking like that must be deeply, deeply distressing for you. I know how very, very much you love Mr. B.

It's impossible for any of us to know exactly what another being is thinking or feeling but I think perhaps when you calm down a little maybe you'll find that it's not your beloved Mr. B. that you're angry with at all; I think maybe you're angry at the illness.

Sending more :bighug::bighug::bighug:


Mogs
.
 
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I research quickly again for you and Berberine seems to have antiurolithic effects

"Berberine inhibited calcium crystal deposition in renal tubules and protected against associated changes including polyuria (frequent urinations), weight loss, impaired renal function, and the development of oxidative stress in the kidneys"

https://books.google.fr/books?id=Ca...EIPTAE#v=onepage&q=polyuria berberine&f=false

another study: "Antiurolithic effect of berberine is mediated through multiple pathways"
http://ecommons.aku.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1036&context=pakistan_fhs_mc_bbs

There also studies showing berberine efficacy against Urinary tract infection (in which one symptom is also an increased urination frequency), because of its antimicrobial properties.
 
Dalidali said:
I research quickly again for you and Berberine seems to have antiurolithic effects

"Berberine inhibited calcium crystal deposition in renal tubules and protected against associated changes including polyuria (frequent urinations), weight loss, impaired renal function, and the development of oxidative stress in the kidneys"

https://books.google.fr/books?id=Ca3QAQAAQBAJ&pg=PA409&lpg=PA409&dq=polyuria berberine&source=bl&ots=Qc_plTZKRK&sig=JRLfEDFdLkbJZRs1Zhjf4uS1HBY&hl=fr&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiHt_q299fPAhVMnRoKHayZCoEQ6AEIPTAE#v=onepage&q=polyuria berberine&f=false

another study: "Antiurolithic effect of berberine is mediated through multiple pathways"
http://ecommons.aku.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1036&context=pakistan_fhs_mc_bbs

There also studies showing berberine efficacy against Urinary tract infection (in which one symptom is also an increased urination frequency), because of its antimicrobial properties.
Click to expand...


I would not advise anyone to try any different treatments until proper research has been done. Many of the early studies show some promise.

However as stated in one study:

"In summary, that berberine is a potent oral hypoglycemic agent with modest effect on lipid metabolism. It is safe and the cost of treatment by berberine is very low. It may serve as a new drug candidate in the treatment of type 2 diabetes. However, this is a pilot study. The efficacy of berberine needs to be tested in a much larger population and characterized as a function of the known duration of the diabetes. Further studies are needed to evaluate the action of berberine on type 2 diabetes in other ethnic groups."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2410097/


Another article describes the possibility of harmful effects:

http://diabetesupdate.blogspot.ca/2013/08/berberine-works-but-may-very-well-be.html

Until further studies are done this product should not be promoted as a treatment for diabetes.


ETA Jen...sorry about going on a side track but I felt this information should be posted in case others reading about berberine may consider trying it.
 
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One more article on Berberine


http://www.diabetesaction.org/site/PageNavigator/complementary_4_12.html

"
Concerns and Side Effects
...adverse effects of berberine seem to be gastrointestinal in nature...

Nearly all treatments whether pharmaceutical or herbal have potential side effects. The most commonly found adverse effects of berberine seem to be gastrointestinal in nature, and these tend to be transient and responsive to dose reductions.

The potential for drug-drug interactions is of greater concern because berberine shares the same metabolic enzymes in the liver with numerous medications. Depending on the exact medication, this interaction can lead to increased or decreased levels of the medications. In some circumstances, this can lead to dose reductions in medications, or of berberine. However, it can also increase medication side effects. Please discuss all of your medications and supplements with your physician and/or pharmacist, and find a qualified source for health information related to herbal medicines (e.g., naturopathic physicians, integrative medical doctors or nurse practitioners, or licensed herbalists)."


Many of the FD kitties have other health issues and use various medications for these conditions. Since berberine can either retard or increase the effects of these medications it could be quite dangerous to use.
 
You're totally right Tuxedo Mom! I didn't advise her to try it without talking with her vet, but I should have warning to and been more cautious about that.

Though the first study you linked is from 2009. You should have a look at my thread you will see that hundreds further diabete studies have been made with berberine since 2009 in animals models and humans. It is already well used in human diabete, with clinical trials proof, etc It growed up each year, and just in the last 2016 ùonths, I could link +30 diabete studies where they explain the mechanism of all the benefits and how Berberine help diabete and its complications.

BUT you did a great thing to put a big warning in case of someone would try it like that without all the infos and without talk to her vet. Cause as you mention, some kittys take many medications, and as Berberine act on the P-gp inhibition, it can increase the other drug effect, increase his rate absorption, or make the drug last longer . (not all the drugs, but a type of drugs that are metabolized the same way as berberine, there is the complete list on scientific reviews of berberine)
So yes, for the cats who take a lot of drugs, or even only one, they should verify it the drug's way of absorption can interact with berberine and of course ask their vet about all that.

But this point is also where Berberine become interesting (in some cases) as when you look all the studies, it helps to reduce the amount of the conventional drug needed and so decrease the harmful side effects of the drug in question. So there is a decrease of the side effects, but Berberine also directly protect against these ones, along all its other benefits on the body and the disease.

But of course you're right, no one should consider this supplementation without searching for days, looking at which drug could interact with and ask multiple vets.
It's currently what I'm trying to do , as my cat has autoimmune hemolytic anemia, her cortisone will be slowly tappered, and will begin berberine supplementation.
 
Jen :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

I second the advice to talk to a health care professional about your feelings. When you are living with perpetual stress there comes a point when your mind ups and says 'I can't deal with this anymore'. It manifests itself in many different ways, disturbed sleep, feelings of anger, retreating under the bedclothes - the effect differs between different people, but they generally display behaviours which are unlike their normal.

It is only now after months of dealing with feline diabetes that those closest to me are starting to understand that it is stressful, difficult, tiring and frustrating. We all deal with stress in different ways - sometimes healthy, sometimes not, but when you start to scare yourself its time to turn to others who can support and help you in a therapeutic way and who have the expertise to help.
 
There were days (well, nights, really) when I felt as if I could easily have thrown my cat through the wall. I'd put out food and water, make sure the BGs weren't going to go low, leave a note regarding morning care, shut the door and go to bed. And breathe. Sometimes, we need to step back briefly.

I don't know anything about the insulins you are using, or high dose kitties to offer any advice. Hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you.
 
I'm resurfacing.

Wow just thank you all so mich for your caring and wise replies. Seriously you've all been a tremendous help.

Had a good frustrated cry earlier and got through the day. Apologized to mr b if i gave him any bad vibes today, and that its not him or his fault but the situation i was so angry at. In fact, if i didnt love him so much i wouldt br so angry.

Strangely enough, today he came flying down into the blues. Go figure! Life is funny.

Mr b are in this together, and i'll be working on coping skills in hopes to avoid another venture into the dark realm i found myself in this morning, wow that was bad.

I have caught up on all replies but will be re-reading and marinating in sage advice and care. Wonderful help, all, and i am so thankful. Thank you.
 
I understand some of what you are feeling. I think posting in this forum will help you to cope.
I saw your post this morning before I left for work and wanted to tell you to try to see the positives. I know it's hard sometimes. I was thinking of saying this morning, that at least Mr. Biddles is peeing in the box, and that he doesn't have other bad problems like CHF or IBD or Cushings or Cancer. You're doing fine taking care of him, and you will get through this. Remember it's a dance, and sometimes things take time. :bighug:
Reach out to us, whenever you need to. We'll be here for you.
I promise.
 
Daphne said:
I'm so glad you're reaching out here. Have you talked with a professional about your feelings?

I am prone to anger. And rage. As in seriously out-of-my-mind kind of rage, and over some pretty "meaningless" things. It startles me how certain things can have me go from 0 to 1,000 in just a second.

There are a few things that have helped me, and maybe they will help you too.

Try stating what you're feeling and in response to what. For me, an example might be, "I am devastatingly enraged because my terminally ill cat peed on the floor for the second time this morning." Sometimes just taking a moment to verbalize just how awful I feel and why is enough to jar me out of my grumpy moment and feel empathy for myself and the object of my anger.

The second thing is attempting to empathize with the object of your anger. It's very hard to feel angry while you're empathizing.

The third thing is to feel gratitude for the situation.

My terminally ill cat really did pee on the floor twice this morning, but I wasn't devastated or enraged by it. I used this as an example because I know in the past similar things have happened (pee, vomit, diarrhea) that *did* actually make me feel that way and ruin my whole day. What was different about today?

I am so grateful I am able to sit down on the floor and clean up his pee. I'm so glad he's drinking and eating at all. I'm so grateful I am able to care for him. I have the capability to do this much, and I'm so happy to do it. He is such a sweet and precious animal, even at his worst, and all I want is goodness for him. I want to be a good thing to/for him. I am glad I can do something. We have so little time with the people and animals we love.

After working on my anger for a while, I am usually able to step back and have this gratitude response instead of an anger response. And when I do feel anger, I am typically able to use it in a positive way rather than feel overwhelmed or destroyed by it.

A professional can help you manage your feelings. You need to take care of yourself. I want a better life for you. Please get help.
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Love this an dI think we can all read it a few times a week....very wise and insightful....
 
I agree with the other posts and also I would encourage you to consider lantus or lev as the lantus did seem to be better as far as control--Consistency is important and I can tell you from experience that vestsulin nor pro zinc was long lasting enough for Dre-I also have to try to manage his food curves as well as I can and if you are able to give fluids it should helps the drinking... it helps Dre.
I am so glad you reached out and he sounds like a real gentleman :cat:
 
Before I got confirmation that Whiskey had diabetes, I was dealing with the drinking water like crazy and peeing everywhere thing..the carpet at my front door is absolutely ruined. Believe it or not, there were times he peed there, and I just didn't even realize it. I guess I got used to the smell of stale cat pee. No idea how that happened because it's the grossest smell ever LOL

One thing I did was give him 3 litter boxes. I also put puppy pads all around the litter box. Sometimes he would pee right on the puppy pads, but at least that's better than the carpet. The three litter boxes allowed me to not have to change the boxes as often, which really helped my frustration levels.

I feel your pain. Something just has to work for your baby. Now that I have WHiskey on insulin, he pees and drinks way less.
 
The kiddie pool is a great idea! I know others have also used it with great success!

Jen, I can really relate to your frustration. Squallie never seems to hold reductions, he'll even out for a while and then start creeping up again, usually with no apparent reason. I feel like his insulin needs just continue to increase. He is up to 4.5U twice a day (Lantus), we go through a pen a month. I get very frustrated, and when I ask my vet about tests for insulin-resistant conditions he says he doesn't think we're there yet, and that Squallie is "just being a cat." Well, maybe so, but that answer doesn't help me!
Misterbeesmom said:
In fact, if i didnt love him so much i wouldt br so angry.
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I know you love Mr. Biddles very much and you are right - loving them so much, and the unique relationship we develop with our sugar kitties, makes it so much harder to not get angry and frustrated! We just have to always remember that our anger and frustration is with the disease, not our kitty (even when they are being super-annoying and not wanting to hold still for testing, Squallie!). I think at some point most of us have had some dark moments and been ready to throw in the towel, wondering why we're putting ourselves and our furbabies through this, especially when all we see are higher and higher numbers; but then those trusting eyes look at you, knowing beyond all reasoning that you will always take care of him and be there for him, and you realize that the love you share makes it all worthwhile. And so we all continue on.

Stay strong, you've got a ton of friends here who've got your back! :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Tuxedo Mom said:
The one thing I am seeing is that Mr B seemed to have better numbers when on Lantus. Although there were definitely a lot of bounces you were getting a lot more blues and even greens.
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@Misterbeesmom -

I wonder whether it might be worth your posting on the Lantus forum to ask the very experienced members to do a review of Mr. B's Lantus data and perhaps ask how they would interpret his progress on that insulin. You might also ask whether they might have seen similar cases to Mr. B's history and whether revisiting Lantus as a treatment might be worth considering.

I hope that you're feeling a little less fraught today. Been praying for you both.

:bighug::bighug::bighug:


Mogs
.
 
Daphne said:
I am so grateful I am able to sit down on the floor and clean up his pee. I'm so glad he's drinking and eating at all. I'm so grateful I am able to care for him. I have the capability to do this much, and I'm so happy to do it. He is such a sweet and precious animal, even at his worst, and all I want is goodness for him. I want to be a good thing to/for him. I am glad I can do something. We have so little time with the people and animals we love.
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I could not have said this better, @Daphne. I thank God every day that I'm able to take care of my sugar kitty, that she's mine, and that I can continue to try to make her life better. Even though I also get frustrated and even angry from time to time, Hannah is so worth it and I am very grateful that I have the ability to make a difference in her life. I count her as a blessing. You have wonderful insight on this situation. Thanks for sharing it. I am going to print your post and put it on my bulletin board. @Misterbeesmom, I'm sending tons of hugs to you and Mister Biddles. You are not alone in this. So many of us have experienced the same feelings and frustrations. I'm so glad you could share those concerns, here. Your post has benefited many of us, myself included. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Tuxedo Mom said:
Jen

I TOTALLY understand. It seems all I do is fill the water bowl and clean the litter box.....over and over and over. One kitty has been almost 2 years (he does have other health issues) the other is 7 months and although there are some good days, there are just as many bad. Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, no social life...consists mostly of going out to get more supplies, haven' t had a decent sleep in almost 2 years. Basically this is caregiver burn-out and it happens to all of us. especially when we are not seeing good results in spite of all our efforts. :bighug: :bighug:


The one thing I am seeing is that Mr B seemed to have better numbers when on Lantus. Although there were definitely a lot of bounces you were getting a lot more blues and even greens. I don't know why you changed to Vetsulin and there is no data for the time you were using it, which seems to be about 3 weeks??, then you switched to PZI. Also when you started with PZi you were doing assorted dosing times before going to 12 hour dosing. From what I am seeing I don't know if the PZI is the best insulin for Mr B or if you need more time to see how it will work out.

Sorry I can't add anything more, but hopefully others will have some thoughts,

Be kind to yourself and take some time just for you to relax and get away from the caregiver routine, at least for a little while. It can certainly wear down a petparent both physically and emotionally.:bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
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Boy does that sound like me. Thousands spent on cat that is still sick, endlessly cleaning litter box and filling water bowl, kitty keeping us up at night, and someone, usually me, having to be at home at certain times to give shots.
 
Thanks everyone. I'm having a very difficult time again, but not as dark as when i started this post. I thank you all for your support! I'm really confused sbout the numbers these past couple days, after our brief venture with blues. I'm feeling completely ineffectual.
 
we all go through good days and not so good days. We are all so blessed that we have each other to talk to. It is so helpful when we can talk to someone who has had the same problems. (Misterbeesmom).
 
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