Re: I'm new, but we're in bad shape. Need help and compassio
Well, friends, it's day 3 1/2 without Oscar, our beacon of light. The house feels so strange. On one hand, it's hard to be here...and on the other, I take some solace in being here because this is our HOME (we shared with Oscar, Angel and Tiger). I think that I stated that I would post something celebrating Oscar’s life...and I'm going to attempt that here. It’ll be a long read (yes, I’m long-winded)…but if you are a cat lover, I think that you’ll really enjoy most of it. I’ll make a small apology up front…as this isn’t the best write-up that I could do. I’m somewhat “rushing” it…because I feel emotionally compelled to do so. With that…please dive in…and enjoy…
Discovering Oscar
It was a weekend...and a Sunday I think...in February 2011, when my wife was looking at our cold and snowy backyard (winter here can be pretty brutal). In the northwest corner of our backyard, we have an apple tree. Under the apple tree, we have a wooden bench that a friend made for us. We cover it with a tarp each winter to protect if from the harshest part of winter. Anyway…I was in the living room when my wife asked me to look out the window; she said that she thought that she saw something hiding under the tarp that covers the bench. I looked and didn’t see anything....so I shrugged my shoulders and started to head back to the living room...when she stops me, "See! I told you. It's a cat." Sure enough, it's an orange cat...and that color really stood out against the cold, white snow. I shook my head thinking, "Some people are just completely oblivious. We have owls, hawks, dogs and coyotes roaming about...and some dingaling thinks that this orange cat is 'just fine' outside?!!!" My wife...of course...asks, "Do you think he's a stray? It looks like he's hiding under the tarp to get shelter." My response was pretty ambivalent; "I'm sure that he belongs to one of the newer families in the neighborhood...and they probably wouldn't appreciate us running of with their cat."
Shortly after that, I had to go run some errands. While I'm out, my wife has gone outside to check on the orange cat hiding under the tarp. Shortly after returning, she pulls me to the window and says, "You have to have a look at him. I think that he's abandoned...and there's something wrong with his ear." At this point, I concede...more to humor my wife than anything. Surprise...he won't come out from under the tarp for me and doesn't respond to the obligatory, "Here kitty!" call. My wife corrects me...and says, "Watch this." She crouches and says, "Meow, meow. Come here meow, meow." Sure enough, this little orange guy comes out from under the tarp. He approaches her tentatively...but is watching me...as if expecting me to shoo him off. I can tell my wife is smitten with him. We had two other cats in our house at the time...and I wasn't really thinking of a third. However, when I saw his deformed ear, something in me said, "This is different. Take a good look at him." So...I put my hand down...and he carefully came over. I'd never seen a cat with a hematoma before...so I thought that he had been in some scrap with another cat or animal. Though I felt like helping him, I was worried that he belonged to someone (he looked just a little thin, not "bad"). So...we decided to give it some time and see if he'd go back to wherever he came from.
Day turned to night...and the snowstorm worsened. I happened to turn the light on the back porch...and there’s the orange cat, hiding under some tarps that we put over the patio furniture. My wife decides to see if he needs food. Well...the little guy was very hungry and he gobbled it right up. She then put a basket with a blanket in it under the tarp. The cat huddled in the basket...while snow fell harder and harder. This was about 6:30 PM. We checked on him at 10 PM; he was still there...but very wet and covered in snow. That was all either of us could stand...and so in came the orange cat. After toweling him off...giving him some food and water...we both knew that he could not go back outside. I commented to my wife, "If he belongs to anyone, they sure are thoughtless. This guy might not survive the night." And so my wife gave the orange cat a name; Oscar. As I've mentioned, we had two other cats (purely indoor; we never let our cats outside). Oscar bumped that number to three.
Welcome to the Family
Tiger and Angel had been with us for a number of years and were very well established in our lives. Neither particularly welcomed Oscar...and the poor little orange kitty really had to watch his back (Tiger was a LOT bigger...and Angel was only slightly larger). Shortly after Oscar became "our cat", I was in the living room one evening...when Tiger was trying to harass Oscar. Oscar was clearly tired of it. I was just getting ready to pop out of my chair and discourage Tiger's fun...when Oscar jumped up onto my lap, climbed up onto my chest and curled into a little orange ball. I reclined a bit...and the next thing I knew, he was snoozing away...and purring super loudly. That was the moment when I realized that our Oscar was a bit special...and that I was glad that he had joined the family.
Over the next year, Oscar and Tiger learned to get along...and while I don't think that they were ever "friends", they were perfectly fine with sharing space and their parents. Angel...however...never did learn how to play well with others. She treated Oscar the exact same way that she treated her big brother Tiger; which is to say with a lot of verbal instruction to "Stay away from me!" Tiger was a very unusual cat...and, in many ways, I think that he had a pretty odd sense of humor (sound goofy? well...you had to be there). He always seemed amused when Angel gave Oscar "what for". As the elder cat, Tiger really was "king of the castle"...though Angel never did give him any respect. Angel, though, wasn’t amused in the least and meant every spitting word uttered from her lips. With three cats...all with very distinctive personalities, our home was a happy cat haven.
Dr. Oscar to the Rescue!
Oscar had taken to sleeping with us. I tend to sleep on my side with my hand tucked between my pillow and my ear. This leaves my bent arm exposed. Oscar really liked to curl up on my exposed arm with his face near mine. He'd then purr very loudly. I've had difficulty sleeping for years...and it's gotten worse as I've become older. Well...Oscar sleeping like this and purring so loudly...seemed to be just what the doctor ordered...and I'd fall asleep quickly. For the first time in ages...I was sleeping well. Those of you that have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep understand what I'm talking about...and the relief I'd found under the watchful care of Oscar. Additionally, I have a rather stressful job. Shortly after dinner each night, Oscar and I would play. He had a couple of favorite toys in particular. Two of his favorites...were...drum roll please...yes, STRING!!! Imagine that. We actually discovered his great affinity for string after my wife left a blue tennis shoe lace on the floor. Oscar would actually bring it to us when he wanted to play...and if we threw it...he'd chase it and bring it back! We also found that he liked a fishing pole with a mouse tied on the end of the string. When he wanted to play with that, he'd go get it...and drag it to us as an overt message of, “Let’s play!!!” My wife and I have never had a cat do this...and our nightly play time was a source of great enjoyment (and served to lower my blood pressure as well!).
Loosing Tiger: Spring 2012
In March of 2012, Oscar's big brother Tiger had taken ill. He was pulling his fur out on the backs of his hind legs. He wasn't eating right and was losing weight. Tiger was my wife's special cat and this was horribly hard on her. Multiple vet trips...all inconclusive...and all attempts to treat Tiger failed. In fact, the vet wasn't really sure what was wrong with him. Tiger then developed the shakes. By April of 2012...and without any veterinary progress...we were forced to help Tiger to the Rainbow Bridge. While I loved Tiger, he and I never had a particularly strong bond. However, my wife was absolutely devastated...and nearly inconsolable (Tiger was 15 and the two were very close). In stepped Oscar with his orange rays of sunshine. Oscar’s always-upbeat personality has ever been positively contagious. And he was a very determined little guy...and with his care, my wife recovered (she still cries over Tiger from time to time). His persistent little orange-colored band-aids helped heal his Mom’s broken heart.
Dr. Oscar to the rescue yet again! And…Oscar develops Diabetes…
So...we were down to a two-cat household with Angel and Oscar. From April 2012...into Winter of 2012, Oscar worked his way…completely…into our hearts. The things that I've mentioned in here barely scratch the surface of what he'd do. He'd talk...give back massages...and occasionally make Tim-the-Tool-Man-Taylor sounds (yep...all on his own; what a character!). Fast forward...
March of 2013. My wife has a health issue...and it’s one that she's had for years. We thought that we had it well-controlled. Nope. One morning...she collapsed before my very eyes. CPR does save lives...and so that's what I did until the paramedics arrived. In short order, we had 5-8 people...total strangers invading our house. Poor Oscar was absolutely scared witless. He watched these strangers take his Mom away in an ambulance while I held him. Fortunately, my wife survived and recovered. Oscar...yet again, played a vital role in that...keeping her company as she gained her health back. His beautifully sunny personality also helped me keep things together; without my little buddy's company, coming so close to losing my wife would have been more than I could handle. However...to this day, I'm convinced that the extreme stress and fright that Oscar experienced when the paramedics came into our house...played a big role in triggering his diabetes. It is a well documented fact that stress damages bodies. He was diagnosed with diabetes in April.
Losing Angel: Spring 2013...and Oscar the diabetic cat puts band-aids on Dad’s heart.
While Oscar was developing diabetes (between March and April of this year), his big sister, Angel developed cancer (or...that's what the vet's loose diagnosis was; we never did find out conclusively). Though this particular tale is about Oscar, I should tell you that Angel was an incredibly special cat herself (and, without a doubt, she was daddy's girl). Angel, as best we can tell, was 14 or 15 years old. You'd have to know Angel to really understand her...as she could be a very difficult and emotional cat. She and I did have a strong bond. Losing Angel hurt me deeply...as she had been a huge part of my life for a little over a decade. Oscar seemed to sense how Angel’s passing upset me…and determined that his upbeat personality would rescue his dad’s spirit. Just like how he helped my wife get through losing Tiger, Oscar’s warm and sunny personality helped me cope with losing Angel (she was our one and only calico cat…and she had the coolest pajamas ever).
Oscar. Going forward…in his parents’ hearts…
And…so I’ll close this posting…this celebration of Oscar’s short time with us. You know how the story ends. Perhaps in reading these little excerpts from Oscar’s time with my wife and I…you can see why I love him so dearly…and why I say that he was (and perhaps is?) such an incredibly special cat. Our household has been devastated in the past 13 months. In that time, we’ve lost three totally irreplaceable family members…and my wife narrowly escaped death herself. In spite of this flow of words…I actually can’t find the right ones to really say how Oscar’s passing has affected us. However, with this small tribute, I give you a very personal look into how his amazing sunshine made our lives infinitely better! Dear Oscar; know that you are in your Mom and Dad’s hearts…with every beat…and every breath we take. God blessed us with you…and even though the time was entirely TOO SHORT, we thank Him for having had shared it together! We cherish every second that we’ve had with you and look forward to that special day when we are reunited with you and your brothers and sisters!
