L Goddess,
I am so very saddened not only to hear of your loss, but to hear of how a beautiful, innocent and loving kitty was tortured and killed. This was a heinous crime and this person needs to be charged and convicted. The enormity of this crime reminds me of a case that happened a couple years ago, a few hours from where I live, in which a dog was tied to the back of a truck and dragged. There was immense publicity in this case and the boy who did it was a minor and he was tried. I can't remember what the sentencing was exactly, but there was an outcry from people that it was not stiff enough. Now I know that one of the reasons they didn't give him longer of a sentence was that he was a minor, and in your case it doesn't sound like your ex-roomate is a minor, so I imagine that she would be sentenced to jail for this, but I have no idea for how long. It is important, as previously suggested to keep all records of proof (texts, pictures, etc). See if you can get a paper copy of those texts from your service provider, if you have any contact with that girl again, I would suggest having a witness around, taping the conversation, getting it via text, or having a 3 way call so you have a witness, anything you can do to gather more info before she knows that you are going to charge her would be beneficial. Although I wouldn't wait too long to charge her. Another suggestion already made was to speak to a lawyer, even if you can't find one that would take the case pro-bono right now (although you probably will easily get one once this story is made public) at least get a free consultation to see what your next steps should be.
As far as your father goes, did he love your cat? It sounds like he is grieving the loss of Dollbaby as well, otherwise what reason would he have to say such a thing? Sometimes when we are grieving we say things we don't really mean and say things that are hurtful to others.
I for one know the immense difficulty that comes with having a diabetic cat, and a very, very large part of that difficulty is leaving them to go anywhere. It is so difficult to find someone who is capable and willing to watch a diabetic cat and there aren't alot of resources out there for people. At least I have found that to be this case. I have had things happen when I have gone away as well - twice to be exact in the last year and 3 months - two separate people, one of which was a trained and paid professional, luckily for me I don't think either time was intentional, but they were both definitely a form of neglect. It sounds to me like you had someone who was willing to learn, and she did, she also watched your cat for you prior to this and things were okay, so you had good reason to believe that things would be okay this time - obviously you would choose someone that you thought could do the job best, someone who knew Dollbaby and she would feel comfortable with. Also it was only 5 days, and how hard is it to take a cat to their vet and drop it off there if they are having problems, make a call to let you know? I have no idea what she was thinking, truly. Do you know why she would have wanted to do this, has she told you?
I am wondering if something could be done in her name to help all the people out there that have a hard time finding someone to watch or even to pay to watch their diabetic pet? A site or a page where people with experience can have their names in, so it is easier to find someone in your area, even a list of boarding places that have really good diabetic acceptable standards. If we have struggled with this imagine how many others have and will. Maybe there are experienced people who have lost their pet that would be willing to be a part of this and use their knowledge to provide safety to cats whose people need to go away. You were at a conference so it sounds like you really had to be there, we both are not from where we live so we need to travel in order to see our family and I just can't get across how difficult it is to do so. People should be able to have more resources where they can feel assured when they need to travel, as it is a part of life. I also have a habit of blaming myself for these things, but try not to do it, it sounds like you had everything covered - really it does - who would ever conceive a person they know to be capable of doing something like this?
I have cried and cried over this, and am sure to continue to do so, and all the kind words that people have given you are so heartfelt. I bless you to have everything you need to be able to get through this, strength, the ability to forgive yourself, friends and family that can support you and be with you, love , peace and eventually happiness.
Please take care and I am available to talk to, if you need me, just let me know.
Susan xoxo
