how do you know? - update below

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Pandasmom

Pandasmom

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How do you know when it's time?

I have been bawling for most of the last 2 days. Odie is obviously miserable and not well. He just lays there about 90% of the time or sits hunched up in a loaf position. I am giving him 7 different medications, at 4 different times of day, and having to force-feed him food and water in between that. He's puking, he now has diarrhea. There is no solution in sight and even his internal medicine vet says we're running out of options.

It's been a year and a half long battle. Somewhere in the range of 20 different medications, 75+ types of food. At the best of times when he's stable, he's quiet, walks gingerly, and "old".

This is consuming my life at this point. Every waking second is spent either caring for him in some way or worrying about him. I can't imagine making *that* decision, it makes me so nauseous thinking about it, I am nearly hyperventilating even writing this. But how do we keep going like this? Is it fair to him to make him live like this?

This is my baby. I've been his only human since I adopted him as a kitten 11 years ago. He's been with me through so much. I can't imagine life without him.

What do I do? What am I supposed to do? I just want him to be healthy and happy again. :cry:
 
Re: how do you know?

I just saw your other thread & caught up on things. I have 2 things to mention first:

1) cyclosporine - My vet hesitantly prescribed cyclosporine for my Bandit, with stomatitis. Lynette (& Meow Meow/Feline Outreach site) stated that one of her hard cases of stomatitis did well on it. But my vet did warn that she knows it as a 'cat puke' drug. Said it's mostly used in dogs, just because if you give it to a cat.. it most likely WILL make it puke. Now, I've seen some sites out there that say it may make them puke at first.. but then they eventually get used to it. So not sure if the body has to get used to it, or if cats never do. Honestly, I haven't started Bandit on it yet, as it seems her stomatitis is improving, and all she's on right now is prednisolone.

2) I just found out recently, so not sure how much this affects cats.. but my foster kittens are on meds right now. Doxy & cypro. Doxy is BID, but she told me to give the cypro only SID. She said given BID, it can really constipate the kittens, and be uncomfortable. Is Odie having problems pooping?

Well, you said he's not on the cypro right now though right? May just be careful if you do add it for the appetite, ask your vet about it possibly constipating cats. I don't know if it's just young kittens (my fosters are all still under 2 lbs), or all cats. My mom cat has always eaten well, so she never needed the cypro. (& the kittens get such a small dose, all meds for them are compounded & syringed into them. When they're 1 lb, they only get .1ml of the meds.)

I'd just hate for him to be having a hard time right now, if it could be side effects from some of the meds?? Have you tried giving him 1/4 tablet of pepcid ac to see if that calms his tummy down? (ETA: see bottom of post)

And to answer your original question. I think you'll know when enough is enough for them. I honestly didn't get that from Cuddles.. but her body started shutting down, and I had to end it for her. She was still alert as ever.. but couldn't stand, sit, or even hold it from going to the bathroom. At some point she started to pant.. then stopped a minute later. That's all I needed though. I knew she was depending on me to let her go.. she wasn't going to let go herself. I'll never question that decision either.. I knew it had to be done. I think you'll just know. It might be soon, but not necessarily now. It's just such a hard question to answer for each individual cat. I think we all know our animals well enough though, to know when THEY say, "enough is enough."

BIG (((HUGS)))

ETA: I found another thread where you said he was already on pepcid. Hmmm. Found this site though too.. are there some meds on there that you haven't tried, and may want to discuss with your vet?
http://www.2ndchance.info/inflambowelcat.htm
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Unfortunately, for every cat and every person, the point comes at a different place.

Have you talked with your vet about possibly getting a feeding tube? I know that one of the main problems at the moment is nutrition and appetite, and I really think that a feeding tube might help Odie -- they've helped a *lot* of kitties on a short-term basis, and it's a lot easier than syringe-feeding and trying to tempt the vagarities of feline taste-buds -- but I simply don't know enough about the nuances of Odie's case to know whether one would be appropriate here.

(((hugs))) to both of you --

Jean
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm so sorry! It's terrible when you have to start asking that question. I wish I could help, but please know that I'm feeling a bit of your pain.
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm sorry to hear about how badly odie is doing. I know when you were here, you mentioned he hadn't eaten in three days. I had no idea how sick he really was! If you need anything, let me know!

As for when it's time, that is entirely your decision alone to make - you know your cat best! But if you do make the decision though, and need someone to come with you, let me know...
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm so sorry. This is something very much on my mind these days. I don't know how you know. In the past, when I have had to make the decision for other pets, when the time came, I knew for certain, there was no doubt in my mind that it was time. So, I always tell myself that if I am still questioning it, it's not time. This is just my rule of thumb, and I am sure that everyone has their own personal guidelines. I have asked my vet to help me, and to let me know when I am going too far, and not respecting Bear. I know that you are the Mom, and when you decide it is time, based on how you know your baby, it will be right for him.
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't think anyone can tell you when "its time" I know for me, when I lost my first girl, she had stopped eating for a few days and we tried syringe feeding her, but she hated it. We took her back to the vet for a "final checkup" at which point we decided to let her go. I look back now and see how selfish I was to keep her around as long as I did, when she was as sick as she was. It wasn't right and I'm not sure I could put another kitty through that. Again, I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. It is never easy to make these decisions.
 
Re: how do you know?

It's a hard decision and I agree with the others...you will know when it's time.


(((Odie and Mom)))
 
Re: how do you know?

I am so sorry you both are going thru this :(
It's a hard decision to make, and inside you - you will know...
I wish you strength...
Pesonally - I could not have gone thru all that you have.
You've asked yourself - is it fair to make him live like this -
Would you want to?
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm so sorry you need to ask that question. As others have said, only you can make that decision. I personally think you can tell when you've done everything humanly possible and your cat is still miserable. Quality of life is more important then quantity.

So meditate on it. Is there anything else you can do? Talk to the vet. Find out if you have any options left. You will know when it's time.

When the time comes, whether it's sometime soon or years from now, remember when you do what you have to do, with love, they can feel the love. It's a gift of the end of pain. It's a gift of peace.

And we will be there for you whatever decision you make.
 
Re: how do you know?

((((Odiesmom))))

sending prayers for healing and comfort, be strong, and know we are here for you.


((((hugs))))
 
Re: how do you know?

I don't have much energy to post right now, but this is how we're doing today

It's been a heart-wrenching few days, I mostly just cry. Tonight he's eating a bit on his own and he hasn't puked so far. He's mostly just laying on the bed though. Doesn't come when I call him. He'll purr if I go lay down with him. His IM vet is away until Thursday. I will go see her then, find out if there's any hope of him having reasonable quality of life somehow, and then figure out what to do. Things can't stay as they are, he looks so sad and out-of-it most of the time.

I was driving to the store to get more lancets a while ago. Saw a rainbow. Just started to cry some more.

Odiesmom
 
Re: how do you know?

odiesmom said:
I don't have much energy to post right now, but this is how we're doing today

It's been a heart-wrenching few days, I mostly just cry. Tonight he's eating a bit on his own and he hasn't puked so far. He's mostly just laying on the bed though. Doesn't come when I call him. He'll purr if I go lay down with him. His IM vet is away until Thursday. I will go see her then, find out if there's any hope of him having reasonable quality of life somehow, and then figure out what to do. Things can't stay as they are, he looks so sad and out-of-it most of the time.

I was driving to the store to get more lancets a while ago. Saw a rainbow. Just started to cry some more.

Odiesmom
Click to expand...

My heart goes out to you and Odie..
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm sorry Odie is so sick. Is it the poor appetitie and vomiting that is the problem, so something else? As someone stated, would a feeding tube improve his outcome? My Shiloh was very sick, and the feeding tube kept him alive until he felt better. His labs were okay, most likely pancreatitis. Thursday is a long time away. Maybe you could talk to another vet in the practice? Donna ((( HUGS )))
 
Re: how do you know?

((((odiesmom))))

I'm so sorry things are so difficult right now. I really don't think I can add anything to what others have suggested. My heart aches for you. I think many of us here have been in a similar place and know how hard it is. I'm thinking of you often, and hoping for odie to get better.

I think you will know. If you are still questioning, then it isn't time yet.
 
Re: how do you know?

Just checking in to see how Odie and you are doing today...

I'm sending healing energy to you both.


Peace
 
Re: how do you know? - update

Odie seems to be doing better these last 24 hours or so.

He's eating voluntarily (still not what I'd like him to eat, but we'll deal with that later, at least he's eating), he drank a bit voluntarily (I'm also adding water to his food), he's more alert/awake, and is meowing again. He also walked out into the hall (we live in an apartment building) and insisted on walking all the way to the end before I was allowed to pick him up. No puking in the last 48 hours.

I decreased the frequency of his pain meds today, only gave him 0.25mls buprenorphine every 12 hours instead of 8 hours. He doesn't seem to be in pain (at least not as much as a few days ago), I can touch him and pet him.

So things are looking up. I'm still a bit scared because it's been such a roller coaster. But right now things are better.

thanks for all the messages and good wishes... hopefully things will continue to go in this direction.

Odiesmom
 
Re: how do you know?

I'm delighted that he's doing better, and I _really_ hope things continue to improve! I know it's been taking over your life lately, but you've been doing an incredibly wonderful job taking care of Odie, and I'm sure he knows that. I just want to give you a great big ((HUG)) for everything you've done for him. And here're some ((cuddle)) for Odie, too ;)

-- Jean and her Gwyn
 
This morning he was more alert again. He woke me up several times for attention... which is a pain in the butt, but his normal behaviour :smile: ... when he lets me sleep, that's when I worry.
 
I'm so glad things are looking a bit better. I keep watching this thread and wondering what to say. You and Odie have been in my prayers.
 
That's great news! I do want to meet the little guy, after all :)

Heart had a terrible day yesterday, but today has perked up quite a bit and found his voice again. It's such a great feeling seeing them do better, isn't it! :) cat_pet_icon
 
I'm so glad to hear that Odie is feeling more like himself! It sounds like he's getting over whatever was ailing him. I'm sure it's a big relief to you! Sending good vibes for continued improvement! :smile:
 
No puking in the last 72 hours. He continues to eat on his own. Not exactly energetic, but at least responsive when I call his name.

He's done his course of metoclopramide though, had his last dose this morning... so we'll see what the next little while brings. If he pukes again, I'll go get another prescription.

Odiesmom
 
Awesome! so glad to hear that he hasn't puked in 3 days! I'll keep on sending healing energy to you both!

thanks for the update
 
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