So, first of all, congrats on getting the meter! Your first mission is going to be to get comfortable with the testing, for you and for her. So right now it doesn't matter all that much when you test her, I'd say, until you're comfy doing it.
Once you're comfy, aim to test before each shot (order: test-feed-shoot) and get one extra reading somewhere in the middle of each cycle. For the night cycle, unless you're a night bird, aim to get a reading before going to bed. If you get up more than an hour before shot time, you can also get a reading then (it'll be a +11 or a +10, for exemple).
One thing that will be really useful will be to set up a spreadsheet to input your readings:
http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/threads/fdmb-spreadsheet-instructions.130337/ -- if you need help, give a shout, and we'll find somebody to help you (I can if I'm around, but there are many other people who can give a hand). Once it's done do take a minute to set up your signature here
http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/account/signature
Don't beat yourself up about the fur shot. It happens to everyone. She does need insulin, yes, but in the grand scheme of things one missed shot is not going to change the face of the world. Once you have a few tests in and get the spreadsheet up and running we'll be able to see more clearly what to do with her dose.
In case you hadn't seen it, here's our hometesting tips and tricks file:
http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/threads/hometesting-links-and-tips.287/
Are any other family members willing to give a hand with testing, if they don't like you on the computer researching? never know!!