Ana & Frosty (GA)
Member Since 2018
I have really been putting off writing this, but I feel like I owe it to you guys, and to Frosty as well. I’ve been procrastinating so much, I did the dishes, fed the pets, AND threw in laundry, and its only 6:10! (I got home like 15 minutes ago).
I don’t want to go into too much detail, for my own sake, as well as for the sake of everyone else on here. Within a matter of 2-3 days we lost 3 cats on this forum, all of whom were pretty active here, and I just want to say I realize that this probably caused increased anxiety of the other owners here, and I hope everyone is doing OK. I remember how much I hated reading about other cats passing away when I first came on here, and losing Grandpa and Noah within just days of losing Frosty is really shocking to me since I followed both owners pretty closely. I just want to say to everyone else who may be having a hard time reading about all of this - do not feel pressured to read this thread. Please take care of your own mental health first.
That’s my disclaimer.
As many of you already know ,after our IM vet visit with Frosty on Saturday, it was clear that the right thing to do was to put Frosty down. He was still eating somewhat and getting around on his own slowly, but his wounds were very severe and with all of his other problems, she felt that he was unlikely to ever bounce back to where he was before all this started 5 weeks ago. So I wanted to bring him home and have the vet come to the house on Sunday to put him down so he did not have to have his last memory in the hospital. Unfortunately, Lap of Love didn’t have an opening Sunday night and I really wanted Dan and I to spend Sundaywith him. They had an opening Monday night so we chose that.
The IM vet also agreed that Frosty was likely having some level of discomfort associated with his wounds, so she gave us more Buprenex. I gave him 1/3 of the dose on Sunday morning, and he was doing OK. He ate breakfast (although he ate around his pills), sat in the window, and we took him outside with the dog and he hung out on our neighbor’s deck with them and one of their cats. He even used their garden as a litter box (he was such a good boy).
Towards the evening, I noticed he was working to breathe a little. His respiratory rate was still normal so I wasn’t too worried, but I thought it may have been because he ate around his morning meds. He also didn’t wanna eat dinner, so I used the Buster syringe to make him take his cardiac meds. He wasn’t happy about it but tolerated it. I also gave him pain meds before bed. He was in the kitchen (his favorite place) most of the day, but I brought him upstairs and put him on the guest bed and slept next to him.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t find him upstairs. I looked for him, and saw him at the bottom of the stairs. There was a doggy gate up so he couldn’t get over it with how weak he was, but I figured he was trying to get to the kitchen so I brought him there and went back to sleep. In the morning, Dan got up for work and couldn’t find him. We checked the litter box by the basement, and he was laying IN the litter box. That was very odd, as he has never done this. I figured he wasn’t feeling well. I called Lap of Love and tried to move the appointment up, but the earliest they had was noon.
Over the next 2 hours, his breathing got worse. He didn’t wanna eat anything and I didn’t want to force him to take any of his pills, so I only gave him buprenex. I gave him the entire dose hoping he would feel better and calm down, but he didn’t. So I made the decision to take him to the Emergency vet. We made in to the hospital and they put in the IV and I had him on my lap, but he passed away before they had a chance to give him any medication.
I was crushed. I did not want him to be in distress when he died. I have so many questions and so much guilt. We should have put him down on Saturday, or Sunday. Or any other day over the last 5 weeks. I waited too long.
I don’t know exactly what happened - did he have a heart attack? Did he maybe have cancer and was bleeding? Did he get really nauseous from the buprenex and vomited and aspirated? I can’t help but think it may have been something I did or didnt do. I should have made sure that he didn’t suffer in his last moments, and he did. I am so mad at myself for being selfish and keeping him around. I should have known better. I did so much research and reading on the subject, and everywhere it said - most first time owners wait too long, and it’s better to put them down a day earlier than a day too late. You want to PREVENT suffering rather than stop it. I knew all the facts and still didn’t do the right thing, and he had to pay for it,
Now,I do realize that there is probably guilt no matter what you do. Those who opt to put their pet down earlier may wonder whether they did the right thing and have a lot of what-ifs. I truly now understand how families feel about end of life decisions of my human patients. Do you take mom home and wonder if maybe she could have been helped with more treatment? OR do you keep her in the hospital and then think, “man, I wish we had taken mom home and let her spend her last days in the comfort of her own home.” I realize that no matter how you cut it, there is always questions of whether or not you did the right thing. But the feelings of guilt are still very real and haunting.
The one thing I recognize now that he’s gone is how much his recent deterioration affected both of our quality of life. Although I miss him terribly and I am heartbroken, there is a sense of relief, both of his suffering as well as mine. I think given that his decline was relatively gradual, I lost sight of that. And also because when you love someone so much, you just do whatever it takes. Even if maybe it wasn’t the best thing in the end.
I just wanted to thank everyone for your support, for the last 5 weeks, as well as the past 9 months. It really meant a lot. I hope I can be there for you whatever it is that you may be going through.
I don’t want to go into too much detail, for my own sake, as well as for the sake of everyone else on here. Within a matter of 2-3 days we lost 3 cats on this forum, all of whom were pretty active here, and I just want to say I realize that this probably caused increased anxiety of the other owners here, and I hope everyone is doing OK. I remember how much I hated reading about other cats passing away when I first came on here, and losing Grandpa and Noah within just days of losing Frosty is really shocking to me since I followed both owners pretty closely. I just want to say to everyone else who may be having a hard time reading about all of this - do not feel pressured to read this thread. Please take care of your own mental health first.
That’s my disclaimer.
As many of you already know ,after our IM vet visit with Frosty on Saturday, it was clear that the right thing to do was to put Frosty down. He was still eating somewhat and getting around on his own slowly, but his wounds were very severe and with all of his other problems, she felt that he was unlikely to ever bounce back to where he was before all this started 5 weeks ago. So I wanted to bring him home and have the vet come to the house on Sunday to put him down so he did not have to have his last memory in the hospital. Unfortunately, Lap of Love didn’t have an opening Sunday night and I really wanted Dan and I to spend Sundaywith him. They had an opening Monday night so we chose that.
The IM vet also agreed that Frosty was likely having some level of discomfort associated with his wounds, so she gave us more Buprenex. I gave him 1/3 of the dose on Sunday morning, and he was doing OK. He ate breakfast (although he ate around his pills), sat in the window, and we took him outside with the dog and he hung out on our neighbor’s deck with them and one of their cats. He even used their garden as a litter box (he was such a good boy).
Towards the evening, I noticed he was working to breathe a little. His respiratory rate was still normal so I wasn’t too worried, but I thought it may have been because he ate around his morning meds. He also didn’t wanna eat dinner, so I used the Buster syringe to make him take his cardiac meds. He wasn’t happy about it but tolerated it. I also gave him pain meds before bed. He was in the kitchen (his favorite place) most of the day, but I brought him upstairs and put him on the guest bed and slept next to him.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and couldn’t find him upstairs. I looked for him, and saw him at the bottom of the stairs. There was a doggy gate up so he couldn’t get over it with how weak he was, but I figured he was trying to get to the kitchen so I brought him there and went back to sleep. In the morning, Dan got up for work and couldn’t find him. We checked the litter box by the basement, and he was laying IN the litter box. That was very odd, as he has never done this. I figured he wasn’t feeling well. I called Lap of Love and tried to move the appointment up, but the earliest they had was noon.
Over the next 2 hours, his breathing got worse. He didn’t wanna eat anything and I didn’t want to force him to take any of his pills, so I only gave him buprenex. I gave him the entire dose hoping he would feel better and calm down, but he didn’t. So I made the decision to take him to the Emergency vet. We made in to the hospital and they put in the IV and I had him on my lap, but he passed away before they had a chance to give him any medication.
I was crushed. I did not want him to be in distress when he died. I have so many questions and so much guilt. We should have put him down on Saturday, or Sunday. Or any other day over the last 5 weeks. I waited too long.
I don’t know exactly what happened - did he have a heart attack? Did he maybe have cancer and was bleeding? Did he get really nauseous from the buprenex and vomited and aspirated? I can’t help but think it may have been something I did or didnt do. I should have made sure that he didn’t suffer in his last moments, and he did. I am so mad at myself for being selfish and keeping him around. I should have known better. I did so much research and reading on the subject, and everywhere it said - most first time owners wait too long, and it’s better to put them down a day earlier than a day too late. You want to PREVENT suffering rather than stop it. I knew all the facts and still didn’t do the right thing, and he had to pay for it,
Now,I do realize that there is probably guilt no matter what you do. Those who opt to put their pet down earlier may wonder whether they did the right thing and have a lot of what-ifs. I truly now understand how families feel about end of life decisions of my human patients. Do you take mom home and wonder if maybe she could have been helped with more treatment? OR do you keep her in the hospital and then think, “man, I wish we had taken mom home and let her spend her last days in the comfort of her own home.” I realize that no matter how you cut it, there is always questions of whether or not you did the right thing. But the feelings of guilt are still very real and haunting.
The one thing I recognize now that he’s gone is how much his recent deterioration affected both of our quality of life. Although I miss him terribly and I am heartbroken, there is a sense of relief, both of his suffering as well as mine. I think given that his decline was relatively gradual, I lost sight of that. And also because when you love someone so much, you just do whatever it takes. Even if maybe it wasn’t the best thing in the end.
I just wanted to thank everyone for your support, for the last 5 weeks, as well as the past 9 months. It really meant a lot. I hope I can be there for you whatever it is that you may be going through.
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