Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA)
Member Since 2009
I wasn't sure whether or not to post this as I don't post regularly these days. I have been too busy caring for my Jackson. I know there are many of you who 'knew' Jackson from my posts of his too many recent battles and luckily mostly successes. I was feeling pretty smug. I figured my love was all he needed...plus tons of medication. My precious angel and Alex's beloved brother just took an rapid turn for the worst on Friday night and as hard as I tried there was nothing I could do. I sat and talked to him for a very long time and told him that if he was too tired to fight anymore it was okay. I understood. If he wanted too hang in there that would be great but he didn't have to. I told him that from the second he entered my life he brought me nothing but joy ,how I never loved anyone or anything more than I loved him and he slowly blinked at me. For that one hour, Jackson who was hiding for 24 hours, sat with me and let me love him. He looked at me while I talked to him with his paw resting on my hand all the time gently purring. 12 hours later he was gone. The pain is unbearable. Not only for me but for Alex who has never spent a day without his brother in almost 16 years except for the day last May when Jackson had surgery. I am posting this not only for me but for Alex too. Thank to everyone who has ever sent their love or good thoughts to my Jackson.
On Oct 4 1997 I was adopted by 2 5-month-old brown mackerel striped tabbies. I honestly believe that my last cat, Chance, was behind this but however it happened it was a day that changed my life forever. These cats were, of course, Alex and my darling sweet Jackson. I was so lonely after losing Chance and just really entertaining the thought of possibly getting a kitten to keep me company so I started heading over to Pet Smart on a daily basis just to play with the babies. Then I started bringing my mom with me. The kittens were all cute but I kept seeing runny eyes or sneezing and after all I had been through with Chance I was freaked out even by the healthier looking ones in the same cages. On the floor on the bottom right was a cage with two older kitties-5 months old. They had been there for a month. No one seemed to want them as they were older and they weren’t letting them go separately. One of these little guys who turned out to be Alex kept reaching out to me like “HEY what about us”? while Jackson peered over from behind him. So I would sit and play with them and my mom said “oh look at them. They are old enough for you to know what you’re getting and they seem pretty great” but I still felt like that would be disloyal to Chance so I said I was just playing with them….EVERY DAY. One day I decided to buy new kitten supplies and when I got to the check out I realized I had taken two of everything. I was sobbing when I got home. I called the adoption woman at Pet Smart and told her I would be in at opening and not to let anyone have them. I was also fortunate enough to be able to talk to the kind gentleman who had brought them in and he gave me their whole background. From the day they were born they were partners in crime…the two lone rangers that separated from the litter of 6. The next morning my life began all over.
I am only going to talk about Jackson because Thank God Alex is still with me. And because he is really the one who changed me. I was used to taking cared of animals, pets, pet-family members (whatever you want to call them) but I never had one that took care of me before. From the time he was vey little. Jackson was just in tune with me. It was like he knew what I was feeling and no matter what the mood he was there in sync. If I was in a silly mood he would lie on his back and beckon me to roll with him and if I didn’t he would roll and roll until I just had to stop what I was doing and join him. If I was crying, which unfortunately he saw a lot of, he was there. Not just lying next to me but with his paws on my face or my eyes and always that little pink tongue to kiss my eyes and wash away the tears. He would only leave my side to eat or use the litter box and then he would be back until he knew I was okay.
Jackson did not like to be locked out of rooms from me. For that reason he learned how to open doors. Only ones he could reach of course but he learned the mechanics and there were so many times that I was on the toilet only to be surprised by the door opening and seeing his little face coming through the door.
And he was daring. When he was 6 months old he would walk on top of the glass shower doors like they were a tightrope. The space between the doors and the ceiling was about 6 inches but he did it. And it was a high ceiling. He figured out how to jump from the floor to the toilet to the sink to where he wanted to be. Alex was amazed. (He finally got it too but he had to work at it). I was terrified when I would be in the bathtub and I’d look up and there was Jackson. At least I was home. What would happen if he did this and fell and I was at work? But it never happened.
He moon-walked to Michael Jackson (true story only on his back) and would basically do anything for a laugh.
All of the very many things that Jackson did were what made him “Jackson” but the ones that were so very special were that he would let himself be beaten up by Alex when he got diabetes because he was gentle and kind and he knew Alex was sick and if that meant being a whipping post for a while then he could do that…even when he was being cornered and growled at. That ended of course when Alex started to feel better and he may have given Alex a bite on the butt, but Jackson understood.
And for most of Jackson’s life, he was never happier than when he was lying next to me on his side facing me on his leopard pillows with his bunny. He would fall asleep that way and stay that way all night long although I do admit that sometimes he would change position and I’d wake up with his hind paw in my nose.
And until recently, about the last year, Jackson would not get out of bed until he had a proper full-body good morning hug that lasted at least 5 minutes, and he hugged and kissed back.
I didn’t even realize how sick he was getting until last December. I guess he just didn’t want me to know. After he went for his echo he started to change. Always my sweet Jackson but he started sleeping on the floor and didn’t want the hugging and kissing as much. His chronic constipation was getting worse and he was straining a lot. His HCM turned into CHF and my life changed as well. I have been sleeping in the living room for the past 6 months so I would hear if anything happened to Jackson. I didn’t know what I was listening for until yesterday.
He was always a hearty 15-18 pound cat…he was down to 9 pounds. He was eating pretty well, but not getting anything from the food to put weight on. Up until two days ago he was insistent upon taking walks with me up and down the hallway but then something happened to his hip and he was wobbling. He still wanted to walk but I wouldn’t let him.
I really don’t know what happened except that his poor body just couldn’t fight anymore. When I held him close yesterday there was barely any breath coming out of him. My heart broke then and there. I knew it was time but I didn’t know that I had no time to get him to a comfortable place. I heard a moan and ran to him. I went to lift him but he was already dying. He had one last breath left. I think it was mine.
A part of me went with Jackson and I will never be the same. He was my best friend ever. He was my heart, my soul and the best part of anything or anyone I have ever had the honor of knowing. I am blessed to have had that wonderful creature in my life for 15 years. It’s just so painful now.
Mommy loves you Jackson. She always will. If I could have taken your pain I would have…the way you did for me so many times my sweet sweet baby.
Jackson Browne Blank 4/15/1997-11/10/2012
November 11 2012
On Oct 4 1997 I was adopted by 2 5-month-old brown mackerel striped tabbies. I honestly believe that my last cat, Chance, was behind this but however it happened it was a day that changed my life forever. These cats were, of course, Alex and my darling sweet Jackson. I was so lonely after losing Chance and just really entertaining the thought of possibly getting a kitten to keep me company so I started heading over to Pet Smart on a daily basis just to play with the babies. Then I started bringing my mom with me. The kittens were all cute but I kept seeing runny eyes or sneezing and after all I had been through with Chance I was freaked out even by the healthier looking ones in the same cages. On the floor on the bottom right was a cage with two older kitties-5 months old. They had been there for a month. No one seemed to want them as they were older and they weren’t letting them go separately. One of these little guys who turned out to be Alex kept reaching out to me like “HEY what about us”? while Jackson peered over from behind him. So I would sit and play with them and my mom said “oh look at them. They are old enough for you to know what you’re getting and they seem pretty great” but I still felt like that would be disloyal to Chance so I said I was just playing with them….EVERY DAY. One day I decided to buy new kitten supplies and when I got to the check out I realized I had taken two of everything. I was sobbing when I got home. I called the adoption woman at Pet Smart and told her I would be in at opening and not to let anyone have them. I was also fortunate enough to be able to talk to the kind gentleman who had brought them in and he gave me their whole background. From the day they were born they were partners in crime…the two lone rangers that separated from the litter of 6. The next morning my life began all over.
I am only going to talk about Jackson because Thank God Alex is still with me. And because he is really the one who changed me. I was used to taking cared of animals, pets, pet-family members (whatever you want to call them) but I never had one that took care of me before. From the time he was vey little. Jackson was just in tune with me. It was like he knew what I was feeling and no matter what the mood he was there in sync. If I was in a silly mood he would lie on his back and beckon me to roll with him and if I didn’t he would roll and roll until I just had to stop what I was doing and join him. If I was crying, which unfortunately he saw a lot of, he was there. Not just lying next to me but with his paws on my face or my eyes and always that little pink tongue to kiss my eyes and wash away the tears. He would only leave my side to eat or use the litter box and then he would be back until he knew I was okay.
Jackson did not like to be locked out of rooms from me. For that reason he learned how to open doors. Only ones he could reach of course but he learned the mechanics and there were so many times that I was on the toilet only to be surprised by the door opening and seeing his little face coming through the door.
And he was daring. When he was 6 months old he would walk on top of the glass shower doors like they were a tightrope. The space between the doors and the ceiling was about 6 inches but he did it. And it was a high ceiling. He figured out how to jump from the floor to the toilet to the sink to where he wanted to be. Alex was amazed. (He finally got it too but he had to work at it). I was terrified when I would be in the bathtub and I’d look up and there was Jackson. At least I was home. What would happen if he did this and fell and I was at work? But it never happened.
He moon-walked to Michael Jackson (true story only on his back) and would basically do anything for a laugh.
All of the very many things that Jackson did were what made him “Jackson” but the ones that were so very special were that he would let himself be beaten up by Alex when he got diabetes because he was gentle and kind and he knew Alex was sick and if that meant being a whipping post for a while then he could do that…even when he was being cornered and growled at. That ended of course when Alex started to feel better and he may have given Alex a bite on the butt, but Jackson understood.
And for most of Jackson’s life, he was never happier than when he was lying next to me on his side facing me on his leopard pillows with his bunny. He would fall asleep that way and stay that way all night long although I do admit that sometimes he would change position and I’d wake up with his hind paw in my nose.
And until recently, about the last year, Jackson would not get out of bed until he had a proper full-body good morning hug that lasted at least 5 minutes, and he hugged and kissed back.
I didn’t even realize how sick he was getting until last December. I guess he just didn’t want me to know. After he went for his echo he started to change. Always my sweet Jackson but he started sleeping on the floor and didn’t want the hugging and kissing as much. His chronic constipation was getting worse and he was straining a lot. His HCM turned into CHF and my life changed as well. I have been sleeping in the living room for the past 6 months so I would hear if anything happened to Jackson. I didn’t know what I was listening for until yesterday.
He was always a hearty 15-18 pound cat…he was down to 9 pounds. He was eating pretty well, but not getting anything from the food to put weight on. Up until two days ago he was insistent upon taking walks with me up and down the hallway but then something happened to his hip and he was wobbling. He still wanted to walk but I wouldn’t let him.
I really don’t know what happened except that his poor body just couldn’t fight anymore. When I held him close yesterday there was barely any breath coming out of him. My heart broke then and there. I knew it was time but I didn’t know that I had no time to get him to a comfortable place. I heard a moan and ran to him. I went to lift him but he was already dying. He had one last breath left. I think it was mine.
A part of me went with Jackson and I will never be the same. He was my best friend ever. He was my heart, my soul and the best part of anything or anyone I have ever had the honor of knowing. I am blessed to have had that wonderful creature in my life for 15 years. It’s just so painful now.
Mommy loves you Jackson. She always will. If I could have taken your pain I would have…the way you did for me so many times my sweet sweet baby.
Jackson Browne Blank 4/15/1997-11/10/2012
November 11 2012
