Feeling frustrated...

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beclt

beclt

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Hi there,

I've been over on the Lantus board for the past few weeks posting. Not making much progress which is really disappointing. I know this can take time, getting her regulated, but I feel like nothing has worked even remotely. I feel like we aren't doing things right or something. It's just been rough.

Just really bummed. I feel like I've become consumed with this and it's bringing me down. I constantly worry about being there to feed her, test her, shoot her, etc. I'm just sooo frustrated. :sad:
 
Nights like you're having is exactly why I kept a supply of wine and chocolate on hand along with everything else. ;-)

I know it seems really hard right now, and all I really can say (even though I know it's not comforting!) is to be patient. It looks from Cali's spreadsheet that he just started consistent dosing on 12/20--it definitely takes a little while to work into a regulating dose correctly. I think most cats, unless they start tight regulation very early, take at least a month to regulate, sometimes longer.

It does get better. I used to sit and work on an ulcer worrying sick about Bandit, until I thought it over and said to myself, "Am I doing the best I can do to help him?" The answer was yes. Not the best that could be done in an ideal universe, but the best that I, personally, could do. So I resigned myself to letting things work their own way out. You control what you can, and what you can't control you just have to resign yourself to.
 
I am feeling EXACTLY the same way. I couldn't even eat dinner tonight out because I'm so worried if I'm doing things right and why Kitten's numbers are so high. We started Lantus on Dec 27th, and I guess I was just hoping that they had gone down a bit. Its overwhelming. I kept waking up with nightmares yesterday that I wasn't doing something properly, or I waited too long with something else, or I couldve been doing something different.

When I feel that way, I actually tell myself, "all these people have such comforting words, and its not just me....it will work out, just have patience". Unfortunately, patience is something that I dont actually have, so its been ...yes, frustrating as you say. A complete whirlwind.

Just know that we are trying our best for our furballs, and that's what matters. Keep up the good work! It will all work out in the end....
 
I know exactly how you feel. I keep thinking, "If I'm doing everything right, shouldn't he be better now - showing lower numbers?"

*Sigh* Patience. Yuck. I feel like Violet in Willy Wonky. "I want it NOW!"

The best advice I've been told - breathe. Oh yeah. I forget to do that, worrying over the Poopster. I've been dealing with my own ailment the last couple of days so when I sleep, I crash. Last night I kept having nightmares of waking to Poopy passed out or worse. Of course the nightmares didn't actually wake me up so I could check. Thank goodness he greeted me as soon as my feet hit the floor. Worrying. I'm so good at that! :lol:
 
Patience :smile: Numbers will go down. And don't focus on just the numbers. Sure, they may be high tight now but that's ok since your cat is on insulin and just hasn't found the "magic" dose that will keep blood glucose levels in a good range. The most important thing is to have a happy and otherwise healthy cat cat_pet_icon Remission is the ultimate goal for many but some cats j ust don't go there despite insulin and diet and everything else. It's not the end of the world if your cat doesn't go into remission and you shouldn't feel like a failure. My cat was diabetic for 4 years before he went to the Bridge and never really got blood glucose levels in a good range but I was ok with that. I had a happy orange lump who wasn't flooding the litter box or eating tons of food like he was at DX cat_pet_icon

My two cents :smile:
 
Becky, this is frustrating, but I have to be honest, I've seen Cali, I know she's doing well. Her eyes are bright and she's got all that spunk. If she was feeling funky and miserable then I'd be worried, but if you can take a step back and see her just as a cat, she does not appear sick.

Some diabetic kitties I've met are so tired, they are skinny, their eyes look distant and sad. Cali is not like that, her numbers may not show it, but she is happy and that is an excellent sign that you are heading in the right direction.
 
Thanks Jennifer, that does make me feel better.

And thank you for all your kind words. It's tough but we'll do the best we can.
 
Please realize that feeling overwhelmed is very natural.... worrying about your loved baby is very natural... reaching out to us for support and venting is very very natural. If it were not for this forum, I think I just would have totally lost it!

have you read the poem? perhaps I will share with you...

http://www.felinediabetes.com/dear-mom.htm

Hopefully, you will be able to open and read...

Hang in there ~ furry paw hugs coming your way! :YMHUG:
 
i so understand! the first couple of months after punkin was diagnosed, my first thought every morning was to wonder if he was still alive. and he was! and slowly the spring has come back to his step, he's stopped laying against his water bowl - and he's returned to being happy and relatively healthy.

it doesn't come overnight. they didn't get diabetes overnight and it doesn't go away overnight.

when i found out he had acromegaly, a tumor in his brain, i thought it was a death sentence. but we got it treated and he's still improving, and slowly reducing his insulin needs. and yes, if he never goes off of insulin i'd be ok with it - i hope for it, but now taking care of him is relatively easy. it was SO much harder at the beginning.

every cat is a little bit different, but you have lots of company in the feelings - we love our cats or we wouldn't be here.

i did want to share a spreadsheet from another relatively new kitter - i looked at it this morning and thought "wow, Sam Siam has 'clicked.'" when you get to the right dose you can see it. you go up slowly to keep them safe, letting the bounces settle down before increasing again - but then when it gets there! wow! take a look at Sam's ss - and make sure you don't just skip to the bottom, but look at all the high days at the beginning: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...vVdF9rbHZ1ZDNEaUsxa2haYzVqaVhUcGc&output=html

also, not sure if any of you are reading other kitty's condos - but you will learn a ton from doing that.

the best thing about this journey that none of us wanted is that at least there is support along the way. you're not in this alone - we all help each other as best as we can. :YMHUG:
 
Been there too...in fact I'm still there a lot of the time. Mikey's numbers are good, and he's obviously feeling good, but I worry a lot when he has a high, flat cycle that he's never going to be able to get better regulated than he is. To top it off, he has a tendency to dive very low, so raising his dose to achieve tight regulation may never happen. I worry because he's too skinny, though he's gained visible weight. As you can see by my spreadsheet, I can become a test-a-holic when the numbers are good, and have JUST learned to give him a rest when he's having a flatter cycle.

It's hard...I see him sleeping, and wonder if he's lethargic (nevermind that both other cats and the dog are also completely zzonked out, too.) I see him laying on his sternum and wonder if he's meatloafing and in pain (he's slept that way his whole life). If he takes a sip of water or asks me to turn on the faucet, I worry (he has always drunk a good bit and LOVES running water). It never really stops, but I remind myself that he's acting like Mikey, he's not slurping down a full bowl of water a day, he's put on visible weight and plays with the others like nothing's wrong. He's still my cat, he's just got some extra needs now. But he's still Mikey.
 
MikeysMom--I do that exact same thing. I look at her and I think--why is she sleeping now? Is that normal? Is she breathing okay?

I hope to find a dose that works soon so that I can feel a little better (Cali too)!
 
We all certainly understand and I think Julie's idea is a great one. Look at other SSs and read other condos and you'll see you aren't alone. I understand, too, that even though you might see all that, it's still your
Cali that you are worried about. But it will get better and it sounds like Cali, clinically, IS getting better. Such great things to focus on...the whole cat and how her health has improved since you started the insulin.

We went a whole year on lantus....stops and starts...progress/backslide. Holding our breath with each test. It wasn't working for Gracie. We gave it time...so then I switched her to levemir and was told it would take
weeks or even months to get her where she was on lantus. It's been 4 months and she is finally seeing some progress....more than she's ever seen. And yet she threw me a big bounce yesterday based on a drop I didn't catch...
so I spent a sleepless night wondering if I had ruined it all for her or would she be able to get back on track.

As I told one person....this is the hardest thing we've ever done but just seeing how happy she is....how healthy she looks...it's so worth it. And Cali will get there, too. We'll be here for you.
 
I hope LILandKIT don't mind that I copy and pasted part of what I told them over on the Relaxed Lantus board last night. :-D But we have all been right where you are, patience isn't my strong suit either. I thought I had it all figured out with Maxwell when I adopted him and he did everything almost textbook for getting a cat into remission and he did it so quickly. Then comes Musette, and I'm back to feeling like a newbie all over again. She clearly hasn't read the stickies, she doesn't want to follow the rules and she wants to do this whole sugar dance her way...imagine that!...oh wait....She's a CAT! That is what cats do...everything their own way, and according to their own rules.

When I hit one of those really frustrating days I take a deep breath and try to remember... We call this a dance for a reason, when you first start learning a dance you feel awkward and clumpsy as you start learning the steps, but the more you do it, more you practice the more graceful you become, until your body instinctively starts to move when you hear the music. The same with this dance, its frustrating and overwhelming at first, you feel clumpsy, there are days that you feel like your tripping over your own feet, and you swear you will never be able to remember all the steps in the right order, but if you take it one step at a time, and work it into a routine, pretty soon it will become like brushing your teeth, you will be able do it in your sleep. Your body will almost instinctively go through the routine, I know now after 6 months of testing Musette as much as I test her, and I have the luxery of being to test her alot.. I have woke up the next morning and had to check the meter's memory to see if I actually tested her or if I just dreamed I did. There is only one problem with this dance......only the cats can hear the music! And just like a dance, while the basic framework remains the same, every dancer puts their own style and flare to that dance. Every cat dances to their own music, and like any good dance partner we just have to learn to follow their lead. And yeah, somedays regardless of how long we dance with our sugarcat, there will be days when we break a heel, step on our hem, or slip on the dance floor and fall on our hiney. But when those days happen, you just have to gracefully pick yourself up off the floor and go on with the dance. Then go have a melt down in the dressing room later while you drown your bruised ego with chocolate and alcoholic beverage of your choice. Because when the music starts for the next performance, you need to go right back on the dance floor, because your dance partner is counting on you, they can't dance without you.

Mel, Maxwell, Musette & The Fur Gang
 
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