LexaJoy
Member Since 2018
I'm Joy, and I've been lurking here for a couple of months, trying to hang on to my sanity. In April 2016, my sweet baby Ianto was diagnosed with diabetes. I didn't even know that was a thing for cats until then, and, in retrospect, I absolutely should've done more research on my own. At the time, I just took everything the vets told me and went with it. We started Vetsulin. They never talked to me about changing his diet (except for making sure he was fed before receiving his insulin). They never mentioned home testing. We were going to the vet for a curve every other week, more or less. His doses got... really high. Seven units each dose kind of high, and I thought we were in a good place. He seemed to be regaining some weight. The litter box stopped being crazy. He wasn't trying to climb into the shower with me to get water.
In August 2016, my wife and I went on a short trip to celebrate the start of my new job. We didn't want to leave Ianto's shots to a pet sitter, so we boarded him at the vet. He was there for a long weekend. I picked him up Monday morning, and no one mentioned to me any particular difficulty with his diet or his insulin. I took him home. He was glued to me all day, which was pretty typical for any time we'd gone out of town in the past. I fed him his evening meal. I gave him his evening insulin dose. We went to bed. Around 4 AM, he woke me up making a noise that I don't think I'll ever forget. I came out to check on him, and he was collapsed in the floor. I couldn't tell if he was breathing. I panicked, woke my wife, wrapped him in a towel, and we rushed to the emergency vet. They told me there that his blood sugar was basically a flat zero, that he'd seized, and that they thought they might be able to stabilize him, but already suspected brain damage. Hours later, they confirmed to me that he appeared to be blind. I took him to my regular vet when they opened, which the emergency vet encouraged me to do, and for the next week, we were in and out of the office and the emergency vet. He kept seizing. He never regained his sight. He developed some strange neurological ticks, where he would rock and walk in circles and cry. No one could confirm to me that he would ever improve, and the seizures were... they were horrifying. During this process, they told me that he didn't seem to need insulin anymore at all, and again, I had no idea that could even happen. I just thought diabetes was sort of a lifetime thing and it wouldn't get better. I started to get the impression that I was really, really remiss in not doing my own research, and felt incredibly guilty about the whole thing. Like I'd basically managed to overdose my cat, and contribute to all of this. Two weeks after his first seizure, we made the incredibly difficult decision to let Ianto go.
Fast forward to July 2018 and my current meltdown. My cat, Sherlock (6 years of age, long hair domestic), was diagnosed with diabetes. I was heartbroken, because it felt like a death sentence after my experience with Ianto. I had taken Sherlock into the vet because of a growth on his chin that we were hoping to get removed. The pre-op blood tests turned up the problem with his blood sugar (525). My wife and I consulted at home and decided... we couldn't do insulin again. We just couldn't. I still feel so guilty about what happened to Ianto, and couldn't imagine doing that to another cat. So I started looking into other options, to determine if they even existed. I found some websites, eventually stumbled this way, and started reading. I changed Sherlock's diet. We bought a ReliOn to start tracking his blood sugar at home. We told ourselves, if we could get the numbers down, maybe. Maybe we could manage this without insulin.
Since July, his numbers have NEVER tracked above 300. They've been consistently between 200 and 300. We've tested at all times of the day. Before food. After food. Early. Late. We've switched to all wet food. We eat four times a day, every six hours. He seemed to be getting better to us. The litter pan stopped being crazy. He wasn't water-fixated. He seemed to have more energy and wanted to play chase in the mornings with his brother. I was feeling kind of optimistic.
Today, we went back to the vet to talk, again, about the growth on his chin. I brought my numbers. I talked to them about the improvements I felt I saw. The vet kind of rolled her eyes at me, said that he couldn't just "magically" not be diabetic anymore, and said she wanted to re-run his labs. We'd been in the office for about an hour by that time. Dogs barking. People shouting. The AC is apparently out and Sherlock was hot enough to pant. He's been trying to hide behind me the whole visit, trembling and unhappy, and when they whisk him off for tests, I'm wary. They come back and tell me, nope. No improvement. His blood sugar is testing again around 525. I tell them, no way. It's because he's here. He's stressed. His test pre-vet was at 234. The vet tells me that stress *might* account for a bump of 100 in his numbers, but not enough to double it. She asks if I'm using an AlphaTrack, I tell her no and explain the ReliOn and that I've read about it here and several other websites. She tells me that I shouldn't believe everything I've read online and that I absolutely need a glucometer calibrated for a cat. She tells me that he's diabetic. He's being poorly managed. That I'm essentially starving him to death (from July to September, we're down from 17.6 to 14.4 pounds). That he's in poor shape and it's my fault because I won't give him insulin. I explain to her about Ianto (she was one of the vets that saw him during that period, but I get it, she sees lots of animals and maybe doesn't recall us) and she says that while she can understand my concern, there is absolutely no other option.
I come home in tears. I'm devastated at the idea that I'm starving my cat. That I might be hurting him. That I'm doing this all wrong. I panic that I haven't been using the ReliOn correctly, so I check his blood sugar now that we're home. It pings at 465. It has NEVER been that high since I've started testing. I'm in a weird place where I'm relieved that it does seem to read numbers correctly... but also horrified because I don't know what to do. I very seriously do not want to do insulin again. I don't want to hurt my cat, either. I need to get this spot on his chin addressed, but the vet won't do it unless I can get his numbers stable... but his numbers are never stable when I take him to the vet.
I don't know what to do. I'm second guessing everything. I'm guilty. I'm afraid. I need some advice and perspective from people who get it. Please. Thoughts? Advice? Direction? I'm at the end of my rope with this and don't know where to go from here.
In August 2016, my wife and I went on a short trip to celebrate the start of my new job. We didn't want to leave Ianto's shots to a pet sitter, so we boarded him at the vet. He was there for a long weekend. I picked him up Monday morning, and no one mentioned to me any particular difficulty with his diet or his insulin. I took him home. He was glued to me all day, which was pretty typical for any time we'd gone out of town in the past. I fed him his evening meal. I gave him his evening insulin dose. We went to bed. Around 4 AM, he woke me up making a noise that I don't think I'll ever forget. I came out to check on him, and he was collapsed in the floor. I couldn't tell if he was breathing. I panicked, woke my wife, wrapped him in a towel, and we rushed to the emergency vet. They told me there that his blood sugar was basically a flat zero, that he'd seized, and that they thought they might be able to stabilize him, but already suspected brain damage. Hours later, they confirmed to me that he appeared to be blind. I took him to my regular vet when they opened, which the emergency vet encouraged me to do, and for the next week, we were in and out of the office and the emergency vet. He kept seizing. He never regained his sight. He developed some strange neurological ticks, where he would rock and walk in circles and cry. No one could confirm to me that he would ever improve, and the seizures were... they were horrifying. During this process, they told me that he didn't seem to need insulin anymore at all, and again, I had no idea that could even happen. I just thought diabetes was sort of a lifetime thing and it wouldn't get better. I started to get the impression that I was really, really remiss in not doing my own research, and felt incredibly guilty about the whole thing. Like I'd basically managed to overdose my cat, and contribute to all of this. Two weeks after his first seizure, we made the incredibly difficult decision to let Ianto go.
Fast forward to July 2018 and my current meltdown. My cat, Sherlock (6 years of age, long hair domestic), was diagnosed with diabetes. I was heartbroken, because it felt like a death sentence after my experience with Ianto. I had taken Sherlock into the vet because of a growth on his chin that we were hoping to get removed. The pre-op blood tests turned up the problem with his blood sugar (525). My wife and I consulted at home and decided... we couldn't do insulin again. We just couldn't. I still feel so guilty about what happened to Ianto, and couldn't imagine doing that to another cat. So I started looking into other options, to determine if they even existed. I found some websites, eventually stumbled this way, and started reading. I changed Sherlock's diet. We bought a ReliOn to start tracking his blood sugar at home. We told ourselves, if we could get the numbers down, maybe. Maybe we could manage this without insulin.
Since July, his numbers have NEVER tracked above 300. They've been consistently between 200 and 300. We've tested at all times of the day. Before food. After food. Early. Late. We've switched to all wet food. We eat four times a day, every six hours. He seemed to be getting better to us. The litter pan stopped being crazy. He wasn't water-fixated. He seemed to have more energy and wanted to play chase in the mornings with his brother. I was feeling kind of optimistic.
Today, we went back to the vet to talk, again, about the growth on his chin. I brought my numbers. I talked to them about the improvements I felt I saw. The vet kind of rolled her eyes at me, said that he couldn't just "magically" not be diabetic anymore, and said she wanted to re-run his labs. We'd been in the office for about an hour by that time. Dogs barking. People shouting. The AC is apparently out and Sherlock was hot enough to pant. He's been trying to hide behind me the whole visit, trembling and unhappy, and when they whisk him off for tests, I'm wary. They come back and tell me, nope. No improvement. His blood sugar is testing again around 525. I tell them, no way. It's because he's here. He's stressed. His test pre-vet was at 234. The vet tells me that stress *might* account for a bump of 100 in his numbers, but not enough to double it. She asks if I'm using an AlphaTrack, I tell her no and explain the ReliOn and that I've read about it here and several other websites. She tells me that I shouldn't believe everything I've read online and that I absolutely need a glucometer calibrated for a cat. She tells me that he's diabetic. He's being poorly managed. That I'm essentially starving him to death (from July to September, we're down from 17.6 to 14.4 pounds). That he's in poor shape and it's my fault because I won't give him insulin. I explain to her about Ianto (she was one of the vets that saw him during that period, but I get it, she sees lots of animals and maybe doesn't recall us) and she says that while she can understand my concern, there is absolutely no other option.
I come home in tears. I'm devastated at the idea that I'm starving my cat. That I might be hurting him. That I'm doing this all wrong. I panic that I haven't been using the ReliOn correctly, so I check his blood sugar now that we're home. It pings at 465. It has NEVER been that high since I've started testing. I'm in a weird place where I'm relieved that it does seem to read numbers correctly... but also horrified because I don't know what to do. I very seriously do not want to do insulin again. I don't want to hurt my cat, either. I need to get this spot on his chin addressed, but the vet won't do it unless I can get his numbers stable... but his numbers are never stable when I take him to the vet.
I don't know what to do. I'm second guessing everything. I'm guilty. I'm afraid. I need some advice and perspective from people who get it. Please. Thoughts? Advice? Direction? I'm at the end of my rope with this and don't know where to go from here.
