((((Sheri))))
I'm not going to give you a darn bit of dosing advice but I am going to give you a bunch of hugs...Trust me I know all to well how tough and frustrating this can get. I have in total 15 cats and one large dog and while she doesn't live with us I also have a step-daughter that just keeps getting herself in a heap of legal trouble. I also have a DH that is working out of town right now that I'm only getting to see on the weekends, so I run the show here all by myself all week long. It is frustrating and somedays it all seems like it is just too much to take..I know, then there is Autumn when I first adopted her from DCIN, Musette was sick and dying, Autumn was both food and affection aggresive with the other cats. I was running between the ER vets to see Musette and back home to test, feed and shoot. I can't even begin to tell you how many days I just dissolved into tears. But then I would look at Maxwell, Musette and Autumn and think if not for me none of them would still be here. Granted I only bought Musette one extra year, but in that one year she learned things from me that she hadn't had in the previous 11, she learned it was okay to be picked up and cuddled, she learned how to play with toys, she found out what catnip was, and most importantly I think she learned that she was loved for just being her, good, bad, grumpy or sick that she didn't have to be the perfect cat to be loved.
Autumn is learning that now. And yes, there are still days that I look at my house full of misfit animals and think what in the Hell am I doing to myself? I have civies here with allergies, I have a couple semi-ferals, I have 2 with heart conditions, I have my diabetics and then there is the rest of them that all have some kind of emotional baggage from previous abuse that I balance on a razor's edge somedays. But again I look around and I think if it wasn't for my husband and I not a single one of these precious lives would still be in this world, most people would have thrown them away because they were just too much to deal with. Even my newest addition who I find to be the sweetest most loving little meezer was thrown out into the cold to fend for herself without front claw because she cried too much and woke the baby in the mornings.
I will also admit I was ready to throw in the towel with Autumn and even went to the point of contacting DCIN about what were the chances of getting her placed somewhere else. But luckly cooler heads prevailed ..we talked to Dawn Allen, she gave me insight on why Autumn was the way she was, that she didn't know any better than to guard everything she had, she didn't understand plenty and family. That she was like a child taken from a home where she was abused and starved and even though she was now in a place where the table was always full, she thought she had to eat her fill and then stuff her pockets to horde away for when the bottom fell out again. That she was upset about being shaved even though it felt better than being all matted it took away her pretty and if she wasn't still pretty she would loose our love. That in her mind not being pretty meant she was going to get hurt because somewhere in her past as Autumn put it. "She has accidentally hurt the pretty one and then they hurt her paws for it." (she is front declawed).
Dante is still so new with you, and he like Autumn probably has a heap of things going on inside his head that we can't even begin to guess at. These babies from DCIN are such special cases and are I would have to say the greatest challenges, but I can also tell you with both Maxwell and now Autumn they are so worth hanging in there with. They really, really are...I couldn't ask for two better cats now. Maxwell talks to me all day long and tells me when its time to go to bed, Autumn love to hang out when I'm on the computer and try to catch the cursor. And they both have become such sweet snuggle bugs but it took MONTHS & MONTHS to get there. Remember these aren't kittens that we are taking in that know nothing about the big bad world but us, nor are they our life-long companions that have gotten sick and trust us to make them better...These guys are confused, they are already sick and haven't quite figured out yet that what we are asking of them will make them better, and most of the time they are pretty jaded on humans in general, their people have let them down. Not only do we have to find a way to heal their bodies, but we also have to find a way to heal their hearts and souls. But there are just so few of us that will do what Sheila, you and I have done..take an animal that we have no emotional bond to, and who is already ill and try to heal them not just physically but make them whole cats again.
So go ahead and vent all you want, we understand, but honestly I think Dante is right exactly where he needs to be, with he perfect new mom and his own private angel on earth...YOU! Because you are wondering what it best for him, not what is best for you but him, so that tells me, he already has your heart and once they have our hearts they are ours and we are theirs, regardless if that is for a day, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime. And everytime it gets really frustrating remember every morning you wake up and he is still with you is one more day on earth that he wouldn't have had otherwise. And like we tell every newbie, this isn't a sprint its a marathon. I know I was guilty of this after Maxwell that I thought because I had already treated one diabetic successfully I could handle another one just as easily. Boy was I wrong, Musette drove home the ECID and Autumn is nothing like either Maxwell or Musette either. So hang in there, you and Dante can do this! Really you can.
Mel, Maxwell, Autumn & The Fur Gang
