Cat with Cancer-when to let him go?

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Jeanne and Scratchy (GA)

Jeanne and Scratchy (GA)

Member Since 2009
It has been a long time since I have posted here (although I lurk quite often). Scratchy was diagnosed in 2005 (10 years old then) and after over a year of treatment and switch to canned food, he no longer needed insulin. Well, now he is l6 and was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on Friday. Now I'm facing the hardest decision ever and could use some advice.

His quality of life is not what it used to be. He mostly just lays back in his bed and sleeps. He doesn't move around much and doesn't do those things that bring most cats joy...like staring out the window at the birds. And yet, he still perks up every time I bring him some food. He was always a hearty eater, and he still enjoys that. And that makes me think he is not ready to go yet. I don't think he is suffering yet, although he must know he doesn't have the energy he used to. I don't think he is in pain, but of course it is hard to tell. They hide it so well. And it is pancreatic cancer that has already metastasized to the liver. So I'm sure his time here now is short no matter what.

So, I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I should make the appointment and let him move on tomorrow. I know I don't want to postpone this too long and then have him suffer in pain or not go peacefully because I didn't want to let go. But I don't want to do it too soon...like I don't want him looking at me wondering why I'm doing this to him when the time comes. I am also feeling kind of selfish. Like perhaps I am rushing things because this just hurts so much. In a way, I am already mourning his loss because he is no longer the companion that he used to be since he spends so much time sleeping. And yet, those times when he does seek out the bed at 4 in the morning or lay on my chest when I'm watching TV are so precious. I don't want to make this decision simply because it is easier for me.

Any advice. People say "you will know when the time is right" but I'm afraid I won't. How do you know?

I think I am somewhat haunted by the last cat I had to make this decision with. He had a saddle thrombus and I should have let him go sooner than I did. So that is always in the back of my mind. I don't want to wait until he has trouble breathing or is in pain and I have to rush him to the vet or the ER.

Okay, I know I'm rambling on now, but typing this out helps some. But any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks
 
My heart is breaking for you. This is such a tough question and one only you can answer. A friend of mine, facing this decision about his dog Katie, consulted with his vet on this issue. The vet asked him to name the 3 things his dog Katie likes to do best. They were: going for walks, playing with toys and eating. The vet said, "When she can no longer two of those three things, then it is time to think about letting her go." I thought that was good advice. I am so, so sorry you are facing this decision, and only you can decide when it is time. My thought and prayers, and (((((hugs)))) are with you.

Melanie
 
My heart breaks with yours.
You are facing that which we all dread and we know our turn will come someday too.

I like the thought about the 2 out of 3 things.
Eating is always a favorite thing. A friend of mine just had to say goodbye to her cat and she decided ahead of
time to watch and wait, try to enjoy the last bit of time they had, and when he lost interest in eating than it
was time.

You are watching over yours now, and seeing the changes and there will be a change that will help you decide when it is Scratchy's time.
So meanwhile, hold your baby and focus on how blessed you are to have had 16 years. 16 years. That's so
wonderful.
So many don't make it that long.

( the longest I've had a personal pet was 9 years - until my current 12 yr old girl.)

We do grieve their loss before we've lost them.
Before I knew my girl had diabetes, i was imagining all kinds of troubles. And until I found this website,
I wasn't sure what was coming. I've lost 2 other pets to diabetes long ago. ( home monitoring wasn't mentioned)

So I try to count my blessings daily and appreciate what I have and each moment I have with her.
Of course, we want more. We get very focused on what we are losing instead of what we have had.
Enjoy your last days, or your last weeks or months. This is your time to say goodbye properly instead of
a sudden death where you don't get to say goodbye at all.
It's always hard.
I pray for your broken heart.
 
This is the most difficult decision... we all know how you feel - what you are going thru and are sending you I am sure all sorts of cyber comfort and support.
The questionaire posted here is very valuable - I've bookmarked it and have 2 friends I"m going to send it to - I would certainly encourage you to look at that carefully.
I think there is a small time difference sometimes between "when you know" and when it's maybe gone on to long- it depends on the illness but with liver issues involved you probably don't have the length of time some do when having to make this decision. My first cat went into the closet, stopped eating and pooping or peeing - she made it easy, the second one had a heart disease and he was very hard to judge. I just had to say one day - am I waiting cause I don't want to say goodbye or because he's not ready to say goodbye and one day when I got home from work and I saw him "come alive" at my being there and walk so slowly over to me I realized he was living just for the time we were together other wise he slept or sat trying to breath. I took a week off from work - spent every minute of every day with him for 4 days and it was clear he needed to be let go - so I know it's not always easy or clear.
Hang in there - no matter what happens you've cared for and loved this cat for 16 years - that's a long time- cherish that and know you've done your best.
 
Thanks for your kind words. They helped. I know I'm so lucky to have had him so long. When he was diagnosed with diabetes, I thought that was the beginning of the end. But I was wrong.

I know what I need to do. But man, it is hard.
 
HI Jeanne, my heart goes out to you. Yes this is THE most difficult decision we have to make in loving our furbabies. I've struggled with this too and it never is easy. With my last kitty I talked with an animal communicator and she helped me understand that my cat knew she was dying and gave me some behavoirs to let me know when it was time. This cat and I were VERY bonded and even with the information I had a rough time with the decision. Her sister is still with me and is 19 years old - needless to say its gonna be a BAD day when I have to make this decision again. We all just try and do the best and hopefully make the best decision possible. Hugs, Jan
 
It may sound cliche that you will know when it is time, but honestly you will. I had my Sydney since she was approx 6 months old and in March at age 16 said goodbye.

To keep the story short, I came in and found that she vomited a lot overnight and was lethargic. I took her to the vet, we did tests, anti-nausea meds, etc. and in the two days waiting for the test results, she continued to get worse. Day three, I had a sinking feeling that it was time. I called the vet and Sydney walked into the carrier - this cat was so weak and never once liked being put in there. When she walked in and laid down, I knew in my heart, we weren't going to the vet for xrays, we were going to say goodbye.

As the vet was preparing, I held and hugged Sydney (she had such bad arthritis, I hadn't been able to hold her for more than a year), again, more signs telling me it was time. I held her the whole time and the vet barely administered, when she let go and left.

With my parent's cat, he was failing and he lifted his head, looked at my father and focused for the first time in days, and gave him a look that said I'm ready.

So, yes, you will know when he is ready. Whether you get a clear look, or he walks into the carrier, or he stops eating, has a hard time with moving, you will know.

You may question it, but in your heart you will know.

Wishing you both peace.
 
Thanks again. Hope, that poem made me cry, but I know every word of that is true.

I made the appointment for today at 3. Scratchy slept with me on the bed last night and I gave him lots of pets...when I wasn't sleeping. So, he had a good night. This morning he turned his nose up at his canned food. Ate a little bit of grilled chicken but didn't devour it like he did yesterday. That was my sign because he loves chicken. When he was a kitten he had loose stool for quite some time, and the vet suggested I give him some boiled chicken to help. He has been crazy for chicken ever since.
 
I cannot even express how difficult this decision was for me with the progression of Gabby's stomach cancer. I was using this chart to help me get my bearings with her quality of life: http://www.pawspice.com/Feline Quality of Life Scale.pdf. We did palliative care for her stomach cancer for nearly 7 months, and I knew if was time when she would no longer eat enough food to keep herdrlg alive, despite being on the maximum dose of appetite stimulants. I just couldn't let her slowly starve, so we made the appointment then. It's certainly never an easy decision even when you know it's the right thing to do. I remember I canceled the appointment when she perked up for a few days and was eating and moving around more than she had been; but I made it again a week later when she went downhill again.
 
Dear Jeanne, and Scratchy,

Long story turned short, will be thinking of you & Scratchy at 3.00pm today.

lots of (((((((hugs))))))))
 
Thanks to all. It was a very peaceful passing. My neighbor went with me in case I was too upset to drive home. And we both just gave him lots of pets and kisses while he passed. I know he is somewhere better now.

Jeanne
 
Jeanne: We were all alongside you in thought today. I am glad you had someone to go with you, and that Scratchy's passing was peaceful. It is the greatest kindness you could have given to Scratchy, yet the most difficult thing to face. He had many wonderful years with you, filled with love and caring. This is all any of us can ever hope to receive. I am certain that Scratchy will remain with you in spirit. (((((hugs)))) and prayers to you in this difficult time.
 
Jeanne, I'm so sorry for your loss of Scratchy. Try to find comfort in knowing he's in a better place with no pain or sickness. You will meet again and he'll be waiting at the bridge for you. rb_icon Scratchy will be watching over you and really isn't far away. Peace and comfort are wished for you during this difficult time. wings_cat
 
Bravo to you for being brave and doing the right thing - it is so hard and so many cannot do this. You did the ultimate act of unselfish love.
 
((Jeanne)) I am so sorry you had to let him go but I know you put a lot of thought and love into the decision. Fly free sweet Scratchy, you will be missed!
 
Jeanne:

My heart goes out to you for making the most difficult decision concerning a beloved pet, and making the right decision based on your love for Scratchy, and not wanting him to suffer.

Scratchy knows that you loved him, and that didn't want him to suffer, unnecessarily. I wish that we could do the same thing for human family members who are forced to suffer until the bitter end.

Scratchy will always be alive in your heart and your memories, and he was so very lucky to have such a loving mom for 16 years.

(((HUGS))) to you!

Suze
 
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