Wow, Bobbie; sorry to chime in so late, I am so far behind in my studies, I can only come here to read and not have time to respond very often, though please allow me to share my comment as it hits too close to home. btw, A great photo!!!
Keep praying, God will find a way. My son's friend came to live with us for 9 months after being a heroin addict for 7 years, he was 23 years old, he was 16 when he took his first heroin shot. 11 years of my messages to him were deleted by his grandmother, afraid to lose him after he spent an entire summer with us after moving from NY to VA and he begged me to adopt him. Instead, after that summer, he was told that I didn't want him. Losing all hope drove him further into addiction. (As a child, our home was his haven, he called me mom and I always said he was one of my own, so he grew up as part of our household until we left NY and moved to VA). After almost pulling the trigger several times, he prayed to have an angel sent to him so he wouldn't end his life. Miraculously, 20 minutes after 1 such occasion, my VM was given to him by his sister - before his grandmother had a chance to delete it. I had no idea this was happening, just wondered why he never returned any of my repeated calls.
Long story short - I brought him to VA and - I don't allow drugs in my house - period. He went through severe withdrawal - on his own, as he refused to go into rehab as he wouldn't be able to get a job if rehab was placed on his record. After 40+ hours of research, I learned that the age when taking the addictive drug heroin for the first time, (in his case, 16 years old), it becomes the age that his mental state he will be in for many, many years, as the drug destroys the cognitive portion of the brain. His reasoning stopped at the age of 16, he is now 27. Before learning this, I would tell him many times he was acting like a young kid, not realizing that it was his true mental capacity and he was unable to reason as an adult.
I don't know when your son started on drugs, but it may be that he does not have the capacity to reason that he must stop - to save his life. As was told to me, " I had no way to stop it, I couldn't - even if I tried, nothing was more important than getting the fix, I lost total control of my body, I stole from anyone, it didn't matter". Bobbie, please don't stop praying - yes, it is his choice to stay away, but right now, he has no way of controlling that choice, the drug is all too powerful right now. Do Not Take It Personally. The drug is too consuming, so he hears and see nothing - except for the fix. As difficult as it is, Let him be where he needs to be, he is going through his life lesson right now; intervention will only work if asks for it himself. All we can do is pray. Thank God he has you, a beautiful wife and a child to pray for him. Don't let anyone judge or condemn him, just allow him to be there. Pointing fingers incites anger and guilt, pushing him further into the addiction. Without fingers pointed at him, he will learn to judge himself so he can ask for help. This is hard, I spent many, many hours every single week watching him cry and heal, letting him relive his pain and recount the harsh judgment from others and how he couldn't stop. Your son is aware of what he has/is doing, he just can't control himself. His wife and child would benefit from your support, hopefully, she will come to see this, let her know she is not alone in this, so both of you can support each other. I will pray for you, your son and his family. sorry for being so long-winded, it just hit close to home when I read your situation. Take care Bobbie, one day at a time!