Aggressive cat issues

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Suzanne&Grey

Member Since 2011
Long story short, the exboyfriend and I are trying to make a go of it again. Here's the problem: he has an aggressive kitten that he refuses to see is indeed aggressive and acts quite rogue. This past Wednesday She consistently clawed/bit me while I was trying to just sit in the recliner. It went on for about 4 hours. I was tired and at my wits end, so I yelled at her, stomped my feet, physically removed her from me firmly and yelled "No!!"...all to no avail. She kept coming back. I feel abused by this animal. I know I know, it's a kitten...but this thing is a monster. He says she is not jealous of me, that I'm jealous of her...then he defends the whole clawing/biting mess that "she's a kitten" or "well she's doing it to me too." He WAS clawed badly when he first got her, but she's stopped. It's like I'm next. My relationship is too strained to take this on as well.

Once a few weeks ago while I was laying on the couch, she hopped up on the couch and got behind the crook of my knees to urinate on the blanket. There was another blanket on the floor, mind you. Why did she choose to urinate on me? Anyway, I made the fatal relationship mistake of acting like I wasn't mad (I was seeing red) and that maybe she didn't like the litter. It was the World's Best Cat Litter. Anyhoo, we go to CVS and pick up new litter, empty the nasty pan, etc. Yes, the litterbox was nasty. But I'm still surprised a kitten would rather urinate on a blanket in a spot she usually sleeps rather than borrow the blanket on the floor that no one uses. That makes no cat sense to me. Cats do not urinate where they eat/sleep from everything that I've read.

Again my relationship is too strained to take this on, which is not why I'm here posting. BUT, what I would like to know is how to deal with this aggressive behavior if I find the strength to puch forward with this relationship? He gives her attention nonstop, unless he is at work then he is home with her. He only sees my cats about twice a month, yet I see his at least 6 days a week. I've tried playing with her, I've tried petting her, and when I'm there she gets in my lap but she's not affectionate to me like she is him. It's like she's making a point of saying, "you're in my spot". I know how crazy I sound, and ExBF/BF is telling me that I'm crazy, but I know what I'm seeing. This rogue brat haunts me nonstop. It truly looks like a jealousy issue. Thoughts?

Thank you,

Suzanne
 
Larry and Kitties said:
The urinating is surely behavior against you.
Click to expand...

Thank you!!!! I keep saying over and over that no cat chooses to eliminate where it sleeps or eats...he will NOT listen.
 
Take a spray bottle WITH you and give her a good stream every time she is aggressive. And I say take it with you because BF will probably toss it once he figures out it is supposed to be a conditioning tool for HIS cat so store it in your car.

It sounds to me that the cat doesn't like you, personally.

And what is wrong with coming over to your place? No TV or something? Why can't he come to your place at least half of the week?
 
Are you sure he's worth it? You said this was a "trying again".

I will add a small warning that the spray bottle works for a lot of people. But back when I was in college, my roommate didn't like
my cat calling ( the sound they yell when they are in heat)
so she used a spray bottle to try to teach the cat.
The next day she found a present in her bed. My cat had pooped on her pillow.
So she closed the door to her room .
The next morning, there was a pile right in the middle of the doorway and she stepped in it before she could stop herself.
:lol: :lol:
It's funny to tell the story now but my roommate was not amused.
She stopped spraying her with the bottle and all the behaviour stopped.

Maybe you should get some treats and try to win her heart. ( no carb treats , of course)
 
The cat's still a kitten, which means it should be pretty easy to modify its behavior. I would get some feliway so that that she calms down when you're over, and give her lots of positive reinforcement (treats!) for good behavior--in my experience, negative reinforcement for bad behavior doesn't not work nearly as well, especially since you want the cat to like you.

Kittens are kind of a-holes when it comes to being annoying and scratching at you all the time. She may just want to play. Have you tried playing with her when she's attacking you? What's her reaction?
 
Try Feliway. (http://www.feliway.com/us/) Feliway is a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone, used by cats to mark their territory as safe and secure. It comes in a spray and plug-in. It's kind of expensive, though cheaper from amazon. I use it to lessen my male cat's aggression toward's his sister.

There is also Rescue Remedy. (http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm) It uses botanicals to calm cats. I use on my guys before vet visits and when strangers are in the house. I have found it online and at health food stores.
 
Cats are not stupid. DO NOT use spray bottle. It will increase the agression and reward behavior. Right now this kitten is getting attention when she misbehaves, and any attention- pos or neg, will reinforce the behavior. First question I have is....is anyone playing with her using hands or feet? If so that needs to stop ASAP. Kittens don't usually attack for no reason, not even ferals as they are more likely to avoid human interaction.

Instead, when she attacks, try to cover yourself so you are protected and Ignore her. If you and bf are not consistent it will not help and since you say he doesnt think she is aggressive he will likely jeep rewarding the behavior.

Yes urinating on you can be territorial but it can also be a cry for help that they have a urinary tract infection or inflammation. Kitten needs a urinalysis and culture/ sensitivity to rule that out.

If she's over 4 mos and hasn't been spayed that needs to happen too.
 
rhiannon and shadow said:
Are you sure he's worth it? You said this was a "trying again".
Click to expand...

I'm asking myself this a lot.

As far as the spray bottle, this worked with mine only a little. It reinforced my voice when I said "no!" but my cats weren't really aggressive. Her? I've thought about the spray bottle, but her personality is the type to retaliate. Hence I'm lost and don't know what to do. I've even told him this may require a paid professional.

She is allowed to play with his hands/feet. Wednesday that was part of what made me go off on BF. She would tap his feet, no claws, the hang from mine with claws and teeth. I said he was reinforcing her bahavior. As you said Lisa, he won't fully admit to her aggression/jealousy so she gets rewarded. It drives me crazy. He said that he was told she was spayed when he got her, but I do NOT trust the facility that she came from. For one, they did not have a clue how old she was. I also think he hears things wrong sometimes. So she may be spayed, she may not be.

You know what's really interesting, and I saw it with my own 3 cats? Mine were on a dry food when I got them. I switched them immediately to canned. I saw a change in their behavior: more active, and when one got mad they really got mad. Then I switched to raw. That REALLY upped the ante. I'm not blaming the diet, I think that as they felt better on a better diet, they could "do" more...if that makes sense. They have chilled out since then and rarely fight. I encouraged him off the Science Diet dry to canned Fancy Feast and other good canned foods. Her aggression increased. Again I'm not blaming the diet, but when a cat doesn't feel well they "do" less.

Thank you all for your advice! And thank you especially for not saying "oh, it's a kitten, they grow out of that!" No they don't. They grow into big cats that do the same thing. As far as the relationship, I need time to figure that one out. I forwarded information about Feliway and Rescue Remedy to him. We'll see what he does.

Suzanne
 
Can you mimic the sound of a kitten crying out? You might try making the sound of a kitten screech, plus firmly grasping the fur at the neck and holding the her still (so she can't hurt you more). If she were playing with siblings, the screeching is feedback that the she is being too rough.

Another tactic is to use distance toys, like Da Bird (TM), and play with her, but away from your body. Get her tired out enough, and she may be less likely to play with your skin.
 
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