Advice for calming worries about your sugarcat... mama is struggling!

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Whitney and Jonas

Whitney and Jonas

Member Since 2020
Hi everyone, I hope you are well <3 I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week, work has been really stressful and I've been working some longer hours as well. I've been keeping up with Jonas's spreadsheet but haven't been able to spend as much time here as I'd like.

I wanted to ask if anyone has advice for how you keep your anxieties down. I'm a very naturally anxious person with several clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders, so I know that doesn't help me at all but I think that surely all of you have struggled with this as well. Since I've been monitoring Jonas's BG, my anxiety has been through the roof. I am constantly worried if he is eating enough or too much, if his ketones could rise above a trace, if his BG is going to go too high or too low (we were trending better but we had a gross red again this morning). I analyze everything he does whether it's how often it's been since he used the restroom or how he's laying or how his eyes look or how he's breathing. I see trouble when it's not even there. It's an obsession and I know it's not good for me; I've had more panic attacks lately and I've slept less. He just means the world to me and I am so afraid of losing him.

This morning, he's been running around and playing and now he's watching birds in the window, he ate breakfast well and he's gotten a nice drink of water, but I still can't make myself stop worrying. I think he's a bit constipated this morning (he meowed and only had a very small bowel movement but he went fine yesterday) and so now I'm fixated on that.

I know this is a wordy post so I'll stop myself before I make a novel, but I was really just wondering if anyone has any advice on how you stop yourself from worrying yourself so much over your baby even when it's probably not necessary. My anxious mind wins out over reason too many times and I've really been struggling this week.
 
Well, it’s hard isn’t it? I’ve been feeling a lot like you with all of Minnie’s hospitalizations and everything piled on top of the diabetes, the pneumonia, the cardiac arrest and the IBD. I’ve been obsessing ove her breathing and every little thing she does all day too. The only advice I can give from my experience when it was just diabetes is that you have to keep telling yourself it’s not a death sentence. People live healthy lives with diabetes and so do cats. Do you only have Jonas or do you have other cats and is his your first cat? Because I think all those things count too. If he acts fine and seems happy like watching birds and doing the usual things he does, I’d try to focus on that. If he’s constipated or you think he may be, S Boulardii is a good probiotic to help regulate them so maybe add that to his diet so you’ve got that covered. I think what helps me is focusing on the problem and finding a solution. Test for ketones so you know it’s not an issue. Add the probiotic keep testing his BG and try to focus on all the things that are working. So much in our lives is out of our control. Remembering that also helps me. Control the things you can and let go of the ones you can’t. We know our cats will be with us a finite amount of time and as heartbreaking as that knowledge is, the time we have with them is much better spent being happy than over-worrying. I hope some of this helps! :cat:
 
It will get easier as you gain experience. Normal numbers are 50-120 so at this point no need to worry about a hypo. I’ve only use+Lantus so I can’t comment on prozinc but if you follow a protocol and post regularly for advice your cat will Not be in danger. I was afraid at first too but my friends with diabetic cats just gave two shots a day, never tested at home, and went to the vet for curves so I wasn’t going to test either. Their cats never went hypo but had bad habits and peed in the house because they likely never were controlled. You are way ahead by testing and finding this site. I hope this helps a little.
 
Thank you all so much for your words <3 every time I think I’ve gotten a little bit calmer about one thing, I jump to obsessing over another (like the struggle to poo this morning!) I keep trying to tell myself that he wouldn’t be eating, purring, and playing if he felt that badly at all, but my mind is my own worse enemy.

I’m on my phone and I can’t seem to get tagging to work right, I’m sorry :( Aleluia, thank you very much for your words and your insight; I understand that stress deeply and I hope Minnie has much smoother sailing ahead of her. Jonas is one of seven between mine and my mom’s cats, and in general he is my second. I lost my first kitty to CKD a couple of years ago and I honestly didn’t think I was going to survive it, I still struggle with him being gone. I know none of us have forever, humans and kitties alike, but when I obsess over that I really do myself a lot of damage. Again I tell myself if he were in bad shape, he wouldn’t be eating and playing... my stupid brain, I swear.

Tiff, that was exactly us for a long time. Jonas has been a diabetic for several years but our vet only just ever wanted us to come in once a year to get checked... I just blindly have given him his shots for many years until he had a hypo last month after he vomited. That’s when I found this forum and have started his daily testing, but I feel like my nerves and guilt have only intensified. I really wish I would’ve known more sooner, but I’m thankful to be here now. It does help a lot <3 just talking to others who understand helps.

you totally get me, Jeanne! I frustrate my mom so much because I’m constantly asking how he’s doing and if she thinks he’s okay, or popping in to check on him while I’m working. I appreciate you and everyone so much <3 I’ve got to work on those deep breaths!!
 
I've struggled with the guilt of knowing I caused Teal'c diabetes. He is diabetic by my hand. I'm the one who free fed 36g carb dry food to him for years. I'm the one who thought he looked good at 20 lbs when in reality he was overweight.

Since the diagnosis I've cried because his numbers were so high. I've cried just because I accidentally gave a fur shot. I've cried because I don't want to lose him. I've cried just because he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his. I worry am I doing anything right or am I doing it all wrong. I worry about increasing the dose, will he drop like a rock I worry about decreasing the dose, will his numbers skyrocket. When I'm home I watch him like a hawk. How he is walking, oh look he is drinking again, is he eating, how bad is the litterbox. Constantly asking him "are you doing alright Teal'c" he never answers just looks at me with those eyes. My husband has started telling people I'm going into a new career caring for diabetic cats.

What I'm try to say is I think most of us have these feelings when dealing with a beloved furbaby that has diabetes, I see post about it gets better or easier but after 8 months I'm still nervous, anxious and scared he might die by my hand.
 
Absolutely. Guilt is our worst enemy. I was devastated when Minnie became diabetic after she gained weight because I switched her to a raw food diet. Maybe it would have happened anyway but I felt I made it happen then. And when her neuropathy was so bad she could barely take 2-3 steps I was filled guilt for not finding this forum sooner, for taking her to the wrong vets, for not testing right away and learning what I know now about diabetes sooner. Even now, I think had I done the endoscopy and biopsy months ago she wouldn’t have gotten pneumonia from aspiration. But she was doing well and I didn’t want to put her through more tests and vet visits. So here we are now. I can only compare to a mother’s guilt for similar scenarios with human children. I don’t have any so I don’t know but these are my babies and I stress all the time and worry all the time. About Bobo too. If I can’t find him I worry he escaped and I’ll never see him again, when he’s really just hiding somewhere and I hold my breath till I find him and I always do but it doesn’t matter because I panic every time just the same. Mothers will always worry and we are mothers don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sometimes I can’t imagine loving anyone more if I gave birth to them lol. I think we have to at least try to not keep reliving the past and judging ourselves. We have to try to be present in the moment and be a little kinder to ourselves too. We made mistakes but we’re doing our best to correct them. I also think about all the neglected and abused animals out there and our babies are the lucky ones still. I found mine in a shoe box in Brazil 3 days after my late cat passed away. I keep telling this story because for those 3 days I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt into this black hole of despair. I had lost my dad a year earlier and I just didn’t want to get up the next day and keep losing the people that I loved. These guys showed up right when I needed them. They pulled me out of that ledge because they needed me and I had to focus on something other than myself and my pain. I don’t want to go through that pain again, but I know it’s coming so I have to enjoy the present and the time I have with them. Nothing is forever in life and all we can do is support each other through our losses and stop futurizing in the negative and as a friend often tells me, stop pre suffering and wait till you actually have something to suffer over :bighug:
 
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Aleluia Grugru & Minnie said:
Absolutely. Guilt is our worst enemy. I was devastated when Minnie became diabetic after she gained weight because I switched her to a raw food diet. Maybe it would have happened anyway but I felt I made it happen then. And when her neuropathy was so bad she could barely take 2-3 steps I was filled guilt for not finding this forum sooner, for taking her to the wrong vets, for not testing right away and learning what I know now about diabetes sooner. Even now, I think had I done the endoscopy and biopsy months ago she wouldn’t have gotten pneumonia from aspiration. But she was doing well and I didn’t want to put her through more tests and vet visits. So here we are now. I can only compare to a mother’s guilt for similar scenarios with human children. I don’t have any so I don’t know but these are my babies and I stress all the time and worry all the time. About Bobo too. If I can’t find him I worry he escaped and I’ll never see him again, when he’s really just hiding somewhere and I hold my breath till I find him and I always do but it doesn’t matter because I panic every time just the same. Mothers will always worry and we are mothers don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Sometimes I can’t imagine loving anyone more if I gave birth to them lol. I think we have to at least try to not keep reliving the past and judging ourselves. We have to try to be present in the moment and be a little kinder to ourselves too. We made mistakes but we’re doing our best to correct them. I also think about all the neglected and abused animals out there and our babies are the lucky ones still. I found mine in a shoe box in Brazil 3 days after my late cat passed away. I keep telling this story because for those 3 days I couldn’t get out of bed. I felt into this black hole of despair. I had lost my dad a year earlier and I just didn’t want to get up the next day and keep losing the people that I loved. These guys showed up right when I needed them. They pulled me out of that ledge because they needed me and I had to focus on something other than myself and my pain. I don’t want to go through that pain again, but I know it’s coming so I have to enjoy the present and the time I have with them. Nothing is forever in life and all we can do is support each other through our losses and stop futurizing in the negative is as a friend tells me, stop pre suffering and wait till you actually have something to suffer over :bighug:
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:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug: hugs I think we all need them.
 
Whitney and Jonas said:
Hi everyone, I hope you are well <3 I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week, work has been really stressful and I've been working some longer hours as well. I've been keeping up with Jonas's spreadsheet but haven't been able to spend as much time here as I'd like.

I wanted to ask if anyone has advice for how you keep your anxieties down. I'm a very naturally anxious person with several clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders, so I know that doesn't help me at all but I think that surely all of you have struggled with this as well. Since I've been monitoring Jonas's BG, my anxiety has been through the roof. I am constantly worried if he is eating enough or too much, if his ketones could rise above a trace, if his BG is going to go too high or too low (we were trending better but we had a gross red again this morning). I analyze everything he does whether it's how often it's been since he used the restroom or how he's laying or how his eyes look or how he's breathing. I see trouble when it's not even there. It's an obsession and I know it's not good for me; I've had more panic attacks lately and I've slept less. He just means the world to me and I am so afraid of losing him.

This morning, he's been running around and playing and now he's watching birds in the window, he ate breakfast well and he's gotten a nice drink of water, but I still can't make myself stop worrying. I think he's a bit constipated this morning (he meowed and only had a very small bowel movement but he went fine yesterday) and so now I'm fixated on that.

I know this is a wordy post so I'll stop myself before I make a novel, but I was really just wondering if anyone has any advice on how you stop yourself from worrying yourself so much over your baby even when it's probably not necessary. My anxious mind wins out over reason too many times and I've really been struggling this week.
Click to expand...

I am right there with you. I feel like I am drowning, I just want to cry. I just did my first home test and the reading was way higher than what it was at the Vet a few days ago. I am just so worried. I know that it diabetes isnt a death sentence, I'd love to get Marcus into remission but I feel like I am just constantly poking at him and I feel bad.
 
I can relate to these stories. "Would I kill my cat mistakenly? Could I see him next morning when I wake up" That's the internal dialogue I had in previous months when Monkey was critical.
What worked for me was I told myself that everything in life involves risk, one needs to prepare for and accept loss, as this is the way of life.
It turns out Monkey not only recover from diabetes, he is really attached to me now, he was thought of "the most independent cat" in my home.
I feel that if he passed away in the future, I would have less regret because I have truly lived with him.
 
I really wanted to make a nice long reply to y'alls posts, but you've all said it all. Guilt, anxiety....control or giving up control to an extent........gratitude & fortitude are all common denominators in this forum. We are all here for each other in trying times. I also found that a good cry helps, even just shedding one or two tears while reading post, like this one...helps to relieve just some of the stress. Knowing we are not alone in our struggles is what eases the ills this Feline diabetes diagnosis/treatment marathon instills in us.
:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

p.s. I forgot.......compassion & empathy Without this group & it's moderators/advice givers, I probably wouldn't have the joy of watching my Nova improve from Dx over the months. :)
 
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