9 Months In, Things Still Really Hard, Struggling Emotionally

[Cherish4]

So tonight I ended up sobbing on the kitchen floor after giving Little B his PM shot. I think that I must have acccidently injected into muscle and really hurt him because his reaction was truly awful. It's not the first time that it's happened lately either and I am really struggling.

I'd worked so hard over the last few months to get better at the injections and for a while things were going fairly well. However about a month ago something changed and I began to really find them difficult again. I just can't seem to get any aspect of the process right on a consistent basis and as mentioned above, I've ended up hurting him more than once. As a consequence, I've lost all my confidence in doing them and he has become so wary of me around shot times that he tries various ways to try and get out of them. What should by now be something that takes a matter of seconds, has become a mammoth task every time and often leaves me in tears.

It's also put a tremendous strain on our relationship, as it did at the start and the bond between us is not the same. He doesn't fully trust me anymore and I'm devastated by that.

Some days I feel like he'd be better off with someone else, rather than someone who keeps failing him. I've already failed at mastering home testing, despite trying everything (& I do mean everything) to get to grips with it and now I'm failing at the injections as well. I just don't know why I can't be like everyone else. It should be easier by this point and it isn't.

I'm emotionally exhausted, constantly anxious and the thought of having to deal with this every day for years and years... I love my boy so much and I want him to be happy and healthy but I wish to god that I didn't have to do these injections any more. I wish he didn't have this disease, I wish things could back to the way they were before, when we were so much closer.

I'm sorry for this post, I know it's not a cheerful one and I'm not expecting any of you to give me a miracle solution or an easy answer to fix things but I just felt that if I didn't vent somewhere, then I was going to literally have a nervous breakdown.

 

[Kate & Toby]

Oh bless your heart, I do feel for you. Can you maybe just have the needles out (covered) in the evening whilst sat with Little B, get him used to seeing them and nothing bad happening. Alternatively i think there is a pen which you can get for Caninsulin which I sure would be easier on you both. My very best wishes xx

 

[Cherish4]

Oh bless your heart, I do feel for you. Can you maybe just have the needles out (covered) in the evening whilst sat with Little B, get him used to seeing them and nothing bad happening. Alternatively i think there is a pen which you can get for Caninsulin which I sure would be easier on you both. My very best wishes xx

I could maybe try doing that with the syringes yes, although he doesn't always sit with me.

I have looked into the pen but being on a low income, I can't really afford to buy it at the moment, plus seperate needles and then insulin cartridges. I'm currently having the cost of insulin vials covered by a local charity, so that would make changing over difficult anyway.

Thanks for responding though, I do appreciate it.

 

[Red & Rover (GA)]

We have all gone through setbacks like this. It will get better.

Try injecting with the bevel (the slanty bit) pointing up, as illustrated in the top left photo.

 

[Cherish4]

We have all gone through setbacks like this. It will get better.

Try injecting with the bevel (the slanty bit) pointing up, as illustrated in the top left photo.

I always make sure that the bevel is pointing up before I inject but it doesn't seem to make it any better.

I hope you're right, I hope it does get better again because it doesn't feel like it ever will at the moment.

 

[Margie and Jackson]

One thing I noticed while training my friend to give Jackson shots, is the tendency to become nervous, and then to hold the cat tightly and grab the skin tightly. I suggested that she stop, not worry about the time, and just brush Jackson for a few minutes before the shot. That seemed useful.

I have very few fur shots these days by just barely lifting the skin on the flank and aiming diagonally towards the body. He’s not a young guy, so I’m thinking, how would I give my grandpa a shot? Certainly not by grabbing him, but more coaxing him into position. Earning back trust with treats and brushies with syringes in few is a good suggestion, too.

 

[Sandi and Toby]

I wish we could all wrap you in a big group hug I feel for you so much.

It's hard. It is. There's no denying that. And we all wish we didn't have to do this -- I just want you to know that you aren't alone in that. I am just at the end of my 9th consecutive year with a diabetic cat, Whispy is our second one, but I still have my moments when nothing seems to be going right. But it'll get better, a little at a time.

I don't expect any of these to be a magic bullet, but they are just some thoughts that came to mind that might help. Hopefully if we all chip in with suggestions, something will resonate with you. You aren't alone in this.

- Margie is exactly right that your state of mind will transfer to Little B. But it's hard to do that, I know. It's like telling someone to "think of anything except cheeseburgers", and then of course you can think of nothing else. ;-)

- What needles are you using? If the needle length is 1/2", maybe you can try a 15/64" (aka "short needle"). Or maybe a thinner gauge. Here in the states, most pharmacies will allow you to buy just a single pack of 10 needles that you could just try something different. Know that as the gauge number gets larger, the needle gets thinner. For example, a 31 gauge needle is thinner than a 29 gauge needle. Is there a chance that a month ago, the syringe actually changed? I didn't know if you were buying those outright or you were getting some donated, and maybe they were different.

- Just to cover all bases -- Are you using a brand new syringe each time? I know finances are tight, but that wouldn't be a good place to save, particularly since you are having problems with injections. The image from @Red & Rover (GA) shows at a microscopic level how fractured the needle tip gets if using it more than once (plus it can contaminate your insulin vial).

- What location are you using to inject? You can use the scruff (that's what I use), the flank like @Margie and Jackson does, or the side. Neither of our diabetics have let me do anything except their scruffs. I know that some people say that isn't the best place because bloodflow isn't good there, but that is what works for us. So if you are using one location, try another.

- Unlike @Margie and Jackson , in addition to a different injection site, I really don't aim diagonally towards the body. I pull up his scruff, and I hold the syringe parallel to his spine when I inject into the flap that I pull up.

- Whatever your injection site is, have you considered shaving it? You could probably beg a vet tech to do it for you for free, or use almost any set of hair clippers (please don't try it with scissors). My vet did this the very first day that our first diabetic was diagnosed as he was delivering the bad news. He shaved about a 4" square on his scruff. Best idea ever even if it looked goofy. Whispy (as well as his diabetic predecessor, Brady) are chunky monkeys, so it was kind of hard to pull skin to get the "tent" and inject into the center of the tent like they usually tell you to do. So instead I actually lifted his scruff by pulling up the fur right above the shaved patch towards his head (your cat may or may not like you pulling up the skin by the fur, but it worked great for both of ours, you are gentle doing it, of course). The advantage of the shaved patch is two-fold. One, you can see whether the insulin gets in. And two, you can do it really quickly without having to fuss around parting the fur. Just rotate around in different places in the square for every injection.

- I can't find it right now for some weird reason, but @Chris & China (GA) uses a technique that rolls your wrist while holding the skin. Maybe you can try that (without a syringe at first, for this method and others). Just get the both of you used to pulling up the injection site, wherever and however you want to try it, and pretend inject using your index finger (or a needle-less syringe like a feeding or medication syringe) on your dominant hand to poke the skin in the location and at the angle that you would with the syringe.

- I originally gave a diabetic friendly treat, but now Whispy just gets major kisses on his head and chin skritches both before and after I test and inject, and he comes running for it every time. You'll get there!

- The biggest thing -- When he gets fed, I have his bowl of wet food in one hand, and his loaded syringe in the other. The second I set his food down, I give him his shot, and he barely notices.

Sending you our best,
Sandi (& Whispy)

 

[Chris & China (GA)]

a technique that rolls your wrist while holding the skin.

You grab some fur between your thumb and forefinger and "roll your wrist" to gently pull until there's a "break" in the fur.....in that "break", you insert the needle at about a 45 degree angle and shoot.
Here's a picture that helps show you what I mean (it's kind of hard to describe in words)

 

[Sandi and Toby]

Thx Chris!

 

[Chris & China (GA)]

Thx Chris!

You betcha....I always found it so much easier than tenting!

 

[Cherish4]

One thing I noticed while training my friend to give Jackson shots, is the tendency to become nervous, and then to hold the cat tightly and grab the skin tightly. I suggested that she stop, not worry about the time, and just brush Jackson for a few minutes before the shot. That seemed useful.

Little B doesn't like being brushed very much but I have tried things like sitting and fussing him for a bit beforehand, playing calming classical music in the background, talking to him in a calm but postive manner but none of them have worked. I have accidently held his skin too tightly once or twice but he doesn't have a lot of slack in it so it's quite hard to hold onto.

I have very few fur shots these days by just barely lifting the skin on the flank and aiming diagonally towards the body. He’s not a young guy, so I’m thinking, how would I give my grandpa a shot? Certainly not by grabbing him, but more coaxing him into position. Earning back trust with treats and brushies with syringes in few is a good suggestion, too.

He won't allow me to inject in the flank, the only place I can do it is around his shoulder blades and the scruff area. I have started the 'treats whilst syringe in view' thing today so hopefully it might help.

Thanks for responding, I appreciate it.

 

[Cherish4]

I wish we could all wrap you in a big group hug I feel for you so much.

It's hard. It is. There's no denying that. And we all wish we didn't have to do this -- I just want you to know that you aren't alone in that. I am just at the end of my 9th consecutive year with a diabetic cat, Whispy is our second one, but I still have my moments when nothing seems to be going right. But it'll get better, a little at a time.

Thank you so much Sandi for these words of comfort and for all your practical tips, I do genuinely appreciate it. Unfortunately things didn't go well again tonight and yet again I'm in tears. This morning's shot actually went okay but this evening Little B was agitated even before I attempted the injection. I tried sitting and fussing him, talking to him, even singing but I still got the placement wrong, he yelped and pulled away and he didn't get his full dose. He's currently hiding out of sight and won't let me near him.

I don't expect any of these to be a magic bullet, but they are just some thoughts that came to mind that might help. Hopefully if we all chip in with suggestions, something will resonate with you. You aren't alone in this.

- Margie is exactly right that your state of mind will transfer to Little B. But it's hard to do that, I know. It's like telling someone to "think of anything except cheeseburgers", and then of course you can think of nothing else. ;-)

I totally understand this logically and I have tried really hard to make myself be more relaxed and happy around him at injection time. That's what I did last night actually but it still went horribly wrong and then I'm back to being upset again. I suffer from quite bad anxiety and try as I might it doesn't take much to set it off which yes, he must pick up on.

- What needles are you using? If the needle length is 1/2", maybe you can try a 15/64" (aka "short needle"). Or maybe a thinner gauge. Here in the states, most pharmacies will allow you to buy just a single pack of 10 needles that you could just try something different. Know that as the gauge number gets larger, the needle gets thinner. For example, a 31 gauge needle is thinner than a 29 gauge needle. Is there a chance that a month ago, the syringe actually changed? I didn't know if you were buying those outright or you were getting some donated, and maybe they were different.

The syringes that I use have 29 gauge needles. The syringes in the UK tend to come with the needles already attached, so you can't change them unfortunately. I don't think that the syringes were likely to have altered a month ago. I usually get them from the vet and they've been the same, well known brand for ages.

- Just to cover all bases -- Are you using a brand new syringe each time? I know finances are tight, but that wouldn't be a good place to save, particularly since you are having problems with injections. The image from @Red & Rover (GA) shows at a microscopic level how fractured the needle tip gets if using it more than once (plus it can contaminate your insulin vial).

Yes, I use a fresh syringe for each injection. I would never reuse a syringe, no matter how tight money is.

- What location are you using to inject? You can use the scruff (that's what I use), the flank like @Margie and Jackson does, or the side. Neither of our diabetics have let me do anything except their scruffs. I know that some people say that isn't the best place because bloodflow isn't good there, but that is what works for us. So if you are using one location, try another.

I use the scruff and all around the shoulder blade area. He doesn't have a lot of slack in his skin so it's hard anywhere but he definitely won't allow me to even try anywhere else. I do my best to rotate each shot and change from left to right as much as he'll allow.

- Unlike @Margie and Jackson , in addition to a different injection site, I really don't aim diagonally towards the body. I pull up his scruff, and I hold the syringe parallel to his spine when I inject into the flap that I pull up.

Do you not do it at a 45 degree angle then? That's what I was told to do. Also, do you aim for the centre of the flap?

- Whatever your injection site is, have you considered shaving it? You could probably beg a vet tech to do it for you for free, or use almost any set of hair clippers (please don't try it with scissors). My vet did this the very first day that our first diabetic was diagnosed as he was delivering the bad news. He shaved about a 4" square on his scruff. Best idea ever even if it looked goofy. Whispy (as well as his diabetic predecessor, Brady) are chunky monkeys, so it was kind of hard to pull skin to get the "tent" and inject into the center of the tent like they usually tell you to do. So instead I actually lifted his scruff by pulling up the fur right above the shaved patch towards his head (your cat may or may not like you pulling up the skin by the fur, but it worked great for both of ours, you are gentle doing it, of course). The advantage of the shaved patch is two-fold. One, you can see whether the insulin gets in. And two, you can do it really quickly without having to fuss around parting the fur. Just rotate around in different places in the square for every injection.

He had the area shaved when he first started on insulin to help me see what I was doing but that was months ago. Unfortunately I don't drive so getting to the vets is via taxi which I can't afford to do very often. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it myself either. I can ask them at his next check up but that could be while.

- I can't find it right now for some weird reason, but @Chris & China (GA) uses a technique that rolls your wrist while holding the skin. Maybe you can try that (without a syringe at first, for this method and others). Just get the both of you used to pulling up the injection site, wherever and however you want to try it, and pretend inject using your index finger (or a needle-less syringe like a feeding or medication syringe) on your dominant hand to poke the skin in the location and at the angle that you would with the syringe.

I'm going to try and see if this method might be doable. When he's relaxed, I'll try pulling his skin gently this way and see how he responds.

- The biggest thing -- When he gets fed, I have his bowl of wet food in one hand, and his loaded syringe in the other. The second I set his food down, I give him his shot, and he barely notices.

Little B does not like being touched when he's eating so sadly this wouldn't work for us either.

 

[Kate & Toby]

Where are you in the UK? I wonder if we have someone local who might be able to offer some support? I really feel for you and Little B xxx

 

[Cherish4]

Where are you in the UK? I wonder if we have someone local who might be able to offer some support? I really feel for you and Little B xxx

I'm in the West Midlands but I don't think there's anyone on here based near me.

 

[Kate & Toby]

Anywhere near Stratford upon Avon?

 

[Cherish4]

Anywhere near Stratford upon Avon?

A place called Stourbridge.

 

[Sandi and Toby]

Nope, it's not really at a 45 degree angle for me. I'm actually away from home for a week doing live-in dogsitting while my husband holds down the kitty fort at home, so I can't get a picture for you right now. I found this video for giving subcutaneous fluids, and I guess I am giving insulin more like I give sub-q fluids. Watch this video around 4 minutes and 30 seconds in: https://www.atdove.org/video/subcutaneous-fluids Except that Whispy doesn't really have "loose" skin there either since he is chunky, which is why instead of actually lifting up his skin, I use his fur to pull up a big hunk to inject into.

And the needles aren't separate from the syringes here in the US either, I just meant that maybe you could pick up a pack of 10 different syringes that were thinner and/or shorter to give those a try.

 

[Sandi and Toby]

Just searched on "midlands", and found a thread from January of this year where @Lori&Scout unfortunately just lost her kitty, but it looks like she is in Leicester which is too far. And @Becki and sox responded on that thread that she was in the Midlands as well. Becki was last around on the board on September 1st and her spreadsheet is still being updated, so she must still be around. Just curious if you do have someone near you, because having someone come to your house could be very valuable.

Alternatively, are there any vet technicians that could come to your house (like for the price of a cat sitting visit) one time to help you figure it out? A lot of times they will do this on the side, not officially through the vet practice.

 

[Chris & China (GA)]

I've never heard of it, but I wonder if maybe Little B is reacting to the Caninsulin? Maybe it stings?

Might be worthwhile to consider a different insulin like Lantus, Levemir or ProZinc and see if he still objects so much.

I know in the UK that ProZinc has recently been approved (used to be you HAD to try Caninsulin first and then if you could prove it didn't work, they'd let you try something else) so that might be the easiest....but also, since you've been on Caninsulin for awhile now, they may let you try one of the human insulins like Lantus/Levemir.

 

[Cherish4]

Nope, it's not really at a 45 degree angle for me. I'm actually away from home for a week doing live-in dogsitting while my husband holds down the kitty fort at home, so I can't get a picture for you right now. I found this video for giving subcutaneous fluids, and I guess I am giving insulin more like I give sub-q fluids. Watch this video around 4 minutes and 30 seconds in: https://www.atdove.org/video/subcutaneous-fluids Except that Whispy doesn't really have "loose" skin there either since he is chunky, which is why instead of actually lifting up his skin, I use his fur to pull up a big hunk to inject into.

And the needles aren't separate from the syringes here in the US either, I just meant that maybe you could pick up a pack of 10 different syringes that were thinner and/or shorter to give those a try.

I'll take a look at the video, thank you for that. As for the syringes, I'll have a look if there are any different types but I believe that 29 gauge is pretty much the standard for U40 syringes over here. It would also depend on cost as well, as I'm on such a low income.

 

[Cherish4]

Just searched on "midlands", and found a thread from January of this year where @Lori&Scout unfortunately just lost her kitty, but it looks like she is in Leicester which is too far. And @Becki and sox responded on that thread that she was in the Midlands as well. Becki was last around on the board on September 1st and her spreadsheet is still being updated, so she must still be around. Just curious if you do have someone near you, because having someone come to your house could be very valuable.

I have spoken to Becky once or twice in the past, to get advice regarding UK food but I don't know where abouts in the Midands she is.

Alternatively, are there any vet technicians that could come to your house (like for the price of a cat sitting visit) one time to help you figure it out? A lot of times they will do this on the side, not officially through the vet practice.

I'm assuming vet technicians are what we'd call veterinary nurses here? And no, that's not a possibility I'm afraid. I did ask the vet to run through injecting again, the last time we were there but there's obviously something about me that just can't get it right consistently. Same thing happened with home testing. I got shown how by the veterinary nurse, looked easy enough but I couldn't do it.

 

[Cherish4]

I've never heard of it, but I wonder if maybe Little B is reacting to the Caninsulin? Maybe it stings?

Hi Chris. Whilst it is entirely possible I suppose that the Caninsulin stings on occasion and whilst I'd love to blame it on that, it isn't the issue I don't think. It's my inability to do the injections right which is upsetting him. I struggle to hold his skin, whether that's through the tenting method or the wrist roll method, I struggle to get the position of the needle right, the angle of the syringe etc... As a consequence, I've hurt him more than once and that's why he now resists/reacts badly.

Might be worthwhile to consider a different insulin like Lantus, Levemir or ProZinc and see if he still objects so much.

I know in the UK that ProZinc has recently been approved (used to be you HAD to try Caninsulin first and then if you could prove it didn't work, they'd let you try something else) so that might be the easiest....but also, since you've been on Caninsulin for awhile now, they may let you try one of the human insulins like Lantus/Levemir.

Whilst I am aware of the other insulins, changing at the moment wouldn't be possible. His insulin has currently been paid for by a local charity (they paid for 10 of the 2.5ml vials) and there are still 7 vials of Caninsulin at the vets that we would have to use before considering any change.

 

[Kate & Toby]

A place called Stourbridge.

My sister is about 45 minutes away, she has done Toby a number of times and is also a dental hygienist and so injects humans, I'm going to ask her if she would come to you. She has 3 cats and so is a cat person too! Xx

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Cherish (I'll call you that for now), my name is Dickson and I've been doing this for a long time. Some of what I'm going to say has been covered and it will be mostly emotional but that's what you seem to need the most help with. We're all open and honest with our feelings here, I'll try not to make this all about me but my story might help you.
Things used to be different here, nine cats and a Border Collie and some fish, money was not an issue. Six of the cats were no older than two so health issues weren't a problem. I've also been married for over 20 years to another animal lover so that helps. In the first two years the momma cat Zoe died in my wife's arms in the back of the car. That's when we found out the entire family of six had something incurable called cardiomyopathy. In the years that followed we lost four cats and my mom in one awful winter, then four more in the next few years. We got through that because we simply had to, the rest of the animals needed us and here a "forever" home means just that. Sometime in those years Nigel was diagnosed as diabetic and I really thought we had been through enough, why is God doing this to us? Luckily for us Nigel was a patient cat and a truly gentle soul. His diabetes turned out t be a minor inconvenience. After Nigel passed away I had some serious and mysterious health problems which lead to a diagnosis of PTSD. Then Nigel's last brother Noah was diagnosed diabetic but I had all of Nigel's supplies and the mystery was gone.
My medical problems involved a brain injury and now I'm literally not the person I used to be. I'm much more appreciative of any animals life. In the years that followed we adopted many more cats and another dog, we have the room and we're both on disability so we have the time to give them lots of love. We intentionally look for cats with one eye, the ones that deserve a second chance that no one seems to want. Kittens are too easy.
Now you. You're in the best place possible for problems like this. We all started somewhere and more than once I was sure I had just killed Nigel through my ineptitude, he was just sleeping. We're all volunteers, some share more than others but it's too late now for me to keep any secrets. Your age also matters. You're still young enough to have a life away from cats and think about vacations and time away from friends. I'm 62 so I'm past that. It might sound irrational but some people resent their cats for doing this to them. Little B never asked for this and now you have to keep that promise of a forever home. Despite how you feel the bond between the two of you will never be broken As unfair as it sounds your bond is being tested but you'll get through it. The longer you stay here the more confidence you'll have and with confidence comes trust. I've caused Nigel lots of pain in the early days with scruff shots gone badly and I've shredded Noah's ears many times but cats are special creatures who know what you're doing is for the best.
Whatever else you think how could Little B be better off with someone else? The longer you stay here and the more honest you are the easier everything will get. Remember you're performing a medical procedure at home all alone, it was never meant to be easy but if anyone can help it's us.
Now you have new friends who understand what you're going through. Please stop crying and be thankful we're here for you.
Noah is our last sugar cat, "me" is Dickson. We live in Canada as do any of us and almost as many in the UK. I'm not always here and in the future I'll try and keep my replies shorter (I'm known for doing this). We have a saying that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of a cat. It's very good advice!

 

[Kate & Toby]

Oh Dickson, you have such beautiful and wise words! Thank you for sharing your story and for sharing your wisdom. Love to you and yours from UK x

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Thank you Kate, that was kind of you to notice (and probably painful to read the entire piece).
Cherish, your profile is a little barren. Profiles are not a secret so list what you want but always be aware of your privacy.
List all prior medical conditions, allergies, foods good and bad and any bad habits. Your home will have a lot of clues; how the cats relate, strangers or new relationships, loud noises and quirky behavior. In time you'll make more connections with other UK members and possibly some real friends. Not "cyber-friends" but real people.
What is your time difference? Five hours to Toronto yes? It will matter someday and should be in your profile as well.
Faith is not always rewarded and life doesn't always have a prize at the end. How we treat others is the biggest reward. Talk to you soon.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

@Cherish4 Still there?

 

[Larry and Kitties]

We have all gone through setbacks like this. It will get better.

Try injecting with the bevel (the slanty bit) pointing up, as illustrated in the top left photo.

That 6 uses may be exaggerated since right below is image of 10 uses of BD insulin syringe.

here is new one below

 

[Cherish4]

My sister is about 45 minutes away, she has done Toby a number of times and is also a dental hygienist and so injects humans, I'm going to ask her if she would come to you. She has 3 cats and so is a cat person too! Xx

Forgive me for taking so long to respond to this but I've spent the last few days trying to just focus on my relationship with Little B and the injections. I'm currently retrying the singing idea and it has led to some successes but also some failures (like tonight).

It's incredibly sweet of you to ask your sister if she can help but 45 minutes is a long drive and I couldn't guarantee that Little B would stay around if she came I'm afraid.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

If it helps many members take time off to focus on what's most important. The singing and other little rituals we all have help all of us in different ways and we all could use a little help. Like I said before, you're performing a medical procedure at home all alone. Can you think of any other situation when you just got sent home after a few basic lessons and were basically told "You'll figure it out"? Many members have been sent home with much less. Feline diabetes is not well taught in veterinary colleges, this may be the one place the internet actually gives you better advice.
Whatever else happens we will always be here. This is for you and this is for Little B . This is the day I just had

 

[Cherish4]

Cherish (I'll call you that for now), my name is Dickson and I've been doing this for a long time. Some of what I'm going to say has been covered and it will be mostly emotional but that's what you seem to need the most help with. We're all open and honest with our feelings here, I'll try not to make this all about me but my story might help you.
Things used to be different here, nine cats and a Border Collie and some fish, money was not an issue. Six of the cats were no older than two so health issues weren't a problem. I've also been married for over 20 years to another animal lover so that helps. In the first two years the momma cat Zoe died in my wife's arms in the back of the car. That's when we found out the entire family of six had something incurable called cardiomyopathy. In the years that followed we lost four cats and my mom in one awful winter, then four more in the next few years. We got through that because we simply had to, the rest of the animals needed us and here a "forever" home means just that. Sometime in those years Nigel was diagnosed as diabetic and I really thought we had been through enough, why is God doing this to us? Luckily for us Nigel was a patient cat and a truly gentle soul. His diabetes turned out t be a minor inconvenience. After Nigel passed away I had some serious and mysterious health problems which lead to a diagnosis of PTSD. Then Nigel's last brother Noah was diagnosed diabetic but I had all of Nigel's supplies and the mystery was gone.
My medical problems involved a brain injury and now I'm literally not the person I used to be. I'm much more appreciative of any animals life. In the years that followed we adopted many more cats and another dog, we have the room and we're both on disability so we have the time to give them lots of love. We intentionally look for cats with one eye, the ones that deserve a second chance that no one seems to want. Kittens are too easy.

Hi Dickson. Forgive me for taking so long to respond to this but I've spent the last few days trying to just focus on my relationship with Little B and the injections. I'm currently retrying the singing idea and it has led to some successes but also some failures (like tonight). I am very grateful to you for taking the time to respond and for sharing your heartbreaking story with me. I have not had the best time myself. I ended up unemployed for 3 years, I also lost my mum in 2017 due to complications arising from brain tumour surgery (she was only in her 50s) and it devastated me. Then just a year and a half later, in August of last year, my grandmother passed away in quite traumatic circumstances. Finally at the start of 2019, I got Little B's diagnosis. I have also had to deal with a difficult landlord, winters in a house that is like a freezer, ongoing severe anxiety etc...

Your age also matters. You're still young enough to have a life away from cats and think about vacations and time away from friends. I'm 62 so I'm past that. It might sound irrational but some people resent their cats for doing this to them. Little B never asked for this and now you have to keep that promise of a forever home.

I have never resented Little B for his diagnosis or blamed him for it, in fact it's myself that I blame some of the time. As for it taking away my chance for a 'life'...I haven't had a vacation in over 10 years anyway due to financial constraints and I don't have an active social life either. I see one or two friends for coffee occasionally, sometimes go to the movies but that's about it so his condition has no impact on that aspect of life for me.

Despite how you feel the bond between the two of you will never be broken As unfair as it sounds your bond is being tested but you'll get through it. The longer you stay here the more confidence you'll have and with confidence comes trust. I've caused Nigel lots of pain in the early days with scruff shots gone badly and I've shredded Noah's ears many times but cats are special creatures who know what you're doing is for the best.
Whatever else you think how could Little B be better off with someone else? The longer you stay here and the more honest you are the easier everything will get. Remember you're performing a medical procedure at home all alone, it was never meant to be easy but if anyone can help it's us.
Now you have new friends who understand what you're going through. Please stop crying and be thankful we're here for you.
Noah is our last sugar cat, "me" is Dickson. We live in Canada as do any of us and almost as many in the UK. I'm not always here and in the future I'll try and keep my replies shorter (I'm known for doing this). We have a saying that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of a cat. It's very good advice!

I appreciate the kind words and I do hope we can get past this situation eventually but yes, sometimes I do wonder if he would have been better off with someone who was good at this sort of thing. He was a stray that started showing up at our door and because of that, there is always this little voice in the back of my head that worries that one day he might decide he's had enough of these injections and he'll go elsewhere. We were never meant to keep him but the local cat charities were full and then my mum got sick (she's the one who gave him his unusual name) and I just couldn't bear the thought of losing him. Our bond only strengthed after my mum passed away and he (along with my other two cats) has a been a great comfort to me these last two and a half years.

 

[Cherish4]

If it helps many members take time off to focus on what's most important. The singing and other little rituals we all have help all of us in different ways and we all could use a little help. Like I said before, you're performing a medical procedure at home all alone. Can you think of any other situation when you just got sent home after a few basic lessons and were basically told "You'll figure it out"? Many members have been sent home with much less. Feline diabetes is not well taught in veterinary colleges, this may be the one place the internet actually gives you better advice.
Whatever else happens we will always be here. This is for you and this is for Little B . This is the day I just had

You are right yes, I never thought of it like that before but we are being asked to perform a medical procedure every day, with no real training. It sounds insane when you put it like that.

Thank you for the hugs, Little B and I appreciate them. Sending some back your way

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

I do wonder if he would have been better off with someone who was good at this sort of thing.

We were at two shelters yesterday mostly full of cats that people just gave up on. The kittens will go first but the ones past the age of ten are sometimes doomed to years in that metal box. At the start none of us were good at "this sort of thing". Life can be short and you are doing a noble thing, something you can feel proud about.
Our cats were all just given up on. Marco in particular was labeled a problem cat with behavioral issues. At the shelter he let me pick him up, then I flipped him over and rubbed his tummy. The supervisors mouth dropped open, we didn't even have to do the usual interview process.
What was his problem? Someone had been using a spray bottle on him for years. He still runs into the basement if he sees one. Marco is one of life's rewards just like Little B will be for you one day soon.
No one here goes on vacations, join the club.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Cherish, I need to tell you something else. I test at the low end of being bipolar, it's not a secret here, and it may explain why for the 50th time I told you and everyone else the story about all our losses. It is sad but I don't wear that sadness daily like an anchor and it helps to bring more cats and dogs into a house too big for two people. I also did not acknowledge your losses, sorry for that. The whole point is that we all experience loss differently and it's how we deal with it that partially defines us. I'm also beyond lucky to have Cynthia here with me. On our first date she showed me her very old cat who apparently didn't like men. I picked him up, flipped him over and rubbed his tummy and the deal was sealed. That was 25 years ago. It's so much easier to do this with someone else and I have no idea how people can do this on their own because I've never had to. I don't want to drag this out too long but your health matters as much as Little B's. We have a saying here, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of a cat. I know that sounds simple and I'm thousands of miles away but like I said before, we all started somewhere sometimes wondering how much we were meant to take. No it's not fair but you're in the best place possible now. Have faith.

 

[Cherish4]

Cherish, I need to tell you something else. I test at the low end of being bipolar, it's not a secret here, and it may explain why for the 50th time I told you and everyone else the story about all our losses. It is sad but I don't wear that sadness daily like an anchor and it helps to bring more cats and dogs into a house too big for two people. I also did not acknowledge your losses, sorry for that. The whole point is that we all experience loss differently and it's how we deal with it that partially defines us. I'm also beyond lucky to have Cynthia here with me. On our first date she showed me her very old cat who apparently didn't like men. I picked him up, flipped him over and rubbed his tummy and the deal was sealed. That was 25 years ago. It's so much easier to do this with someone else and I have no idea how people can do this on their own because I've never had to. I don't want to drag this out too long but your health matters as much as Little B's. We have a saying here, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of a cat. I know that sounds simple and I'm thousands of miles away but like I said before, we all started somewhere sometimes wondering how much we were meant to take. No it's not fair but you're in the best place possible now. Have faith.

Thank you for your continous kind words and encouragement, it is appreciated very much.

 

[Cherish4]

Today has been a nightmare. Little B is now constantly moving about and refusing to stay still during injection time. As soon as I reach for his skin, he moves. He ended up missing yet another injection this morning (that makes 4 this month. plus 4 missed last month as well) and it took 45 minutes this evening, to get him to stay still for his PM shot. And it hurt him. Again.

It's getting to be impossible to give him his shots, there is zero consistency with his times and it just feels like all the progress we'd made is being undone. I don't know what to do. He can't keep missing injections but I don't know how to get past this.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

This is not medical advice. I have some whacko stuff going on upstairs 100 times worse than a migraine. When it happened at night I had mere minutes to grab my meds, an ice bag and crawl into bed. Then Noah would miss his shot. I cannot stress enough that consistency is something we all strive for but people do fur shots, they're late from work, they get flat tires and just like that your schedule is off. Four times in a month is not the end of the world. You mentioned you had anxiety earlier, I know all about it. Slow down and save yourself first, Little B and all cats pick up on these feelings because they're smart. If you absolutely have to, give him a break and start again 30 minutes later. This is all very much against "the rules" but you're not killing him missing a shot. In post #8 Chris showed you the exact same painless way I injected both Noah and Nigel. I gave up on scruff shots years ago and did what Chris showed you in the flank while the cat laid on his side.

 

[Christie & Maverick]

You have had some great advice, and thoughts from others, and while I have been away from the board for a while, I happened by your post tonight, and have a few more suggestions. Just recently, my Mav who was diagnosed more than 2 years ago started being jumpy at shot time. He had been the perfect, patient kitty for the most part with both tests and shots, bless him - even with all the mistakes I made! I still don't know why he is doing it, I don't think I am causing pain, it's not when I shoot, it's when I touch him to get the skin pulled to shoot, he jumps away from his food and me. I really really try and just be patient, I don't rush it, touch him a little, tap his bum lightly (he's one of those that likes that), try to get him to relax so he can start eating. If he doesn't like one spot when I touch him, I try another. Dickson @Noah & me (GA) has given you a good pic of where you can shoot.

All this said, I had a pet sitter, very familiar with giving kitties insulin who mentioned she had a particularly difficult client...she would actually spray some Feliway on her hands before she visited, which for some kitties helps calm them. Just throwing it out there as something you might want to try.

As Dickson said, sometimes things go wrong, but please just hang in there, and don't be so hard on yourself! I can almost guarantee you that 90% of us have felt like we are failing our cats at some point, maybe multiple times when things don't seem to be working. I most certainly have been there...Sure, the other 10% have it easy, they come here, change food, start insulin, say a prayer...and bingo..cat is in remission. I'm in it for the long haul, and I'm alright with that. Just keep posting, keep positive, and remember Little B is more than his numbers or this whole process...don't forget to stop and just love him a little.

 

[JoyBee&Ravan]

I wish he didn't have this disease, I wish things could back to the way they were before,

My Kitty is over 17 years old & I've said the same thing nearly every night since he was diagnosed with diabetes in February 2018! It is very stressful until you "relax" & get into the routine. I do Yoga & something I learned in the beginning is that my stress affects my cat.
Even now,after nearly 2 years , I often need to sit quietly & take a bunch of very deep ,slow breaths to calm myself down.

At first I tried shooting the insulin in the scruff, I did a fur shot! I searched the internet & read about giving the shot on the side of his body (Like the picture above that Dickson provided) It's so much easier now. I don't even "roll" his skin, I just part his fur till I see the skin & inject the insulin at an angle Just under his skin.I usually shoot in his Flank or side.

I switched to Levemir Insulin because I read it's neutral based & does not sting like other insulins that are acidic. Levemir insulin comes in a Pen. We use the syringe to draw the insulin out . You're using needles that are larger than what we use. I believe you can get them in the UK 3/10mL / 31 Gauge / 8mm length/ short needle

Here's a video showing how to draw the insulin from a pen of insulin

My cat doesn't react at all from the shot. The needle is very thin & short.

If you switch to Levemir or Lantus & come on that forum you'll get a lot of help & great support. Keep asking questions & try to relax. ( I'm 73 & I'm alone. I have 3 cats & one has cancer also. It's difficult, but like you I Love my kitties) You can do this!

 

[Cherish4]

In post #8 Chris showed you the exact same painless way I injected both Noah and Nigel. I gave up on scruff shots years ago and did what Chris showed you in the flank while the cat laid on his side.

View attachment 48621

I have tried the wrist roll method that Chris suggested but it made no difference, I still struggle to hold his fur/skin and he still pulls away when I touch him.

I have also tried injecting in areas other than the shoulder blades and scruff area. I managed a couple in the side of chest, the side of belly is a definite no go and he swiped at me when I tried the flank. So I have no choice but to stick to the shoulder blade area.

 

[Cherish4]

You have had some great advice, and thoughts from others, and while I have been away from the board for a while, I happened by your post tonight, and have a few more suggestions. Just recently, my Mav who was diagnosed more than 2 years ago started being jumpy at shot time. He had been the perfect, patient kitty for the most part with both tests and shots, bless him - even with all the mistakes I made! I still don't know why he is doing it, I don't think I am causing pain, it's not when I shoot, it's when I touch him to get the skin pulled to shoot, he jumps away from his food and me. I really really try and just be patient, I don't rush it, touch him a little, tap his bum lightly (he's one of those that likes that), try to get him to relax so he can start eating. If he doesn't like one spot when I touch him, I try another. Dickson @Noah & me (GA) has given you a good pic of where you can shoot.

Thank you for responding and for sharing your experience with me. I have tried moving to other areas and I managed a couple in the side of chest but the belly and flank are definitely a no go, he's made that quite clear!

All this said, I had a pet sitter, very familiar with giving kitties insulin who mentioned she had a particularly difficult client...she would actually spray some Feliway on her hands before she visited, which for some kitties helps calm them. Just throwing it out there as something you might want to try.

I'll have a look at the Feliway spray and if it's not too expensive, I could try that I think.

As Dickson said, sometimes things go wrong, but please just hang in there, and don't be so hard on yourself! I can almost guarantee you that 90% of us have felt like we are failing our cats at some point, maybe multiple times when things don't seem to be working. I most certainly have been there...Sure, the other 10% have it easy, they come here, change food, start insulin, say a prayer...and bingo..cat is in remission. I'm in it for the long haul, and I'm alright with that. Just keep posting, keep positive, and remember Little B is more than his numbers or this whole process...don't forget to stop and just love him a little.

Thank you for your kind words, it is hard when you're struggling to not feel like you're alone in it. I am trying to give Little B lots of love in between shots and playing with him as much as I can. I've just bought him two new toys which he loves and it makes me happy to see him play.

 

[Cherish4]

My Kitty is over 17 years old & I've said the same thing nearly every night since he was diagnosed with diabetes in February 2018! It is very stressful until you "relax" & get into the routine. I do Yoga & something I learned in the beginning is that my stress affects my cat.
Even now,after nearly 2 years , I often need to sit quietly & take a bunch of very deep ,slow breaths to calm myself down.

I know that my stress and anxiety affect him and believe me, I have really tried hard to relax but it's not easy to maintain that, especially when I also unable to test and he keeps missing injections.

At first I tried shooting the insulin in the scruff, I did a fur shot! I searched the internet & read about giving the shot on the side of his body (Like the picture above that Dickson provided) It's so much easier now. I don't even "roll" his skin, I just part his fur till I see the skin & inject the insulin at an angle Just under his skin.I usually shoot in his Flank or side.

I have tried other areas to inject but he won't tolerate it at all. He's just reacting badly to everything right now.

I switched to Levemir Insulin because I read it's neutral based & does not sting like other insulins that are acidic. Levemir insulin comes in a Pen. We use the syringe to draw the insulin out . You're using needles that are larger than what we use. I believe you can get them in the UK 3/10mL / 31 Gauge / 8mm length/ short needle

Here's a video showing how to draw the insulin from a pen of insulin

My cat doesn't react at all from the shot. The needle is very thin & short.

If you switch to Levemir or Lantus & come on that forum you'll get a lot of help & great support. Keep asking questions & try to relax. ( I'm 73 & I'm alone. I have 3 cats & one has cancer also. It's difficult, but like you I Love my kitties) You can do this!

I can't switch insulins at the moment, as his Caninsulin is currently being covered by a local charity and there are still 6 bottles left to use at the vets.

 

[Cherish4]

Failed to administer tonight's injection as well, just couldn't get the syringe to go in and he got really upset at me even touching him. That's now 3 shots that he's missed this week and 5 overall this month.

I'm just crying all the time now and I'm constantly terrified that he could develop ketones due to missing so many injections so close together.

 

[Cherish4]

You're using needles that are larger than what we use. I believe you can get them in the UK 3/10mL / 31 Gauge / 8mm length/ short needle

As far I've seen, all U40 syringes in the UK come with 29 gauge needles. The only 30/31 that I can find are U100 syringes.

 

[JoyBee&Ravan]

I'm not familiar with Caninsulin insulin ,but apparently you need to use the U 40 syringes with it. With the Lantus & Levemir insulin that we use ,it takes a smaller syringe/needle.

Maybe in the future you'll be able to switch insulins?

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

There is a formula for switching between U40 and U100, someone else will have to show you where it is. I still have the official Caninsulin syringes somewhere, they look like something you'd use on an elephant. Switching to 31 gauge made all the difference.
What worked for me was getting both cats to lie on their side and injecting into the meaty area around the flank. There's a spot there where you can feel his ribs, avoid that if you can. I also went in at a very shallow angle, you don't have to go very deep at all, just get it in.

 

[Sienne and Gabby (GA)]

This is the link for converting between U40 and U100 doses.

I tend to agree that you may have better success with a 31 gauge needle. Have you talked to your vet about how sensitive your kitty has become to touch? It's possible that there's some degree of hyperesthesia going on and a medication may help.

From a behavioral perspective, if you've not already tried pitting Little by his food and not giving a shot but still petting, talking, etc. may help desensitize him to when you do have to give a shot. What I would do, is reward him with a treat whenever he's by his bowl and lets you stroke/touch him.

 

[Cherish4]

Maybe in the future you'll be able to switch insulins?

Maybe. Everything depends on cost and whether I get any continued help to pay for it.

 

[Cherish4]

There is a formula for switching between U40 and U100, someone else will have to show you where it is. I still have the official Caninsulin syringes somewhere, they look like something you'd use on an elephant. Switching to 31 gauge made all the difference.
What worked for me was getting both cats to lie on their side and injecting into the meaty area around the flank. There's a spot there where you can feel his ribs, avoid that if you can. I also went in at a very shallow angle, you don't have to go very deep at all, just get it in.

He won't let me try injecting his flank, he swipes at me. I also find it even harder to pick up his skin there than around his scruff/shoulder blade area.

I can look at U100 syringes but I'm not sure that I can cope with the conversion thing honestly, I already get paranoid about getting his dose wrong with the U40 ones.

 

[Cherish4]

This is the link for converting between U40 and U100 doses.

I tend to agree that you may have better success with a 31 gauge needle. Have you talked to your vet about how sensitive your kitty has become to touch? It's possible that there's some degree of hyperesthesia going on and a medication may help.

From a behavioral perspective, if you've not already tried pitting Little by his food and not giving a shot but still petting, talking, etc. may help desensitize him to when you do have to give a shot. What I would do, is reward him with a treat whenever he's by his bowl and lets you stroke/touch him.

I haven't talked to the vet about his sensitivity no but I will be contacting her on Monday so I'll mention it then.

I can try the desensitizing thing again I suppose, at this point I'll try anything.