Sheila & Beau GA & Jeddie GA
Member Since 2009
Things are good and things are bad.
On the good side: we are getting better with the bottle feeding. He is very tolerant until he has had enough after 2-3 Tb. I need to get 8 Tb to be a minimum and 15 would be ideal. I am trying for 5-6 feeding, every 2-4 hours.
He went out on the balcony and sucked on catnip plants again and then rested out there for a while.
One of the difficult things about this sort of end of life, hospice care is that you can't help but think about all the things that make him Jeddie and that he will "never do again". I need to write those things down, I want to at least - it's like if they are written down, they won't disappear when he does. Maybe I should take video, but the most endearing things are ones we do together - like cuddles at night before falling asleep, brushing in the morning, playing. I do have photos of my favorite, sleeping on his back with all his paws in the air and his upper body turned sideways. I am being blessed by getting glimpses of those things still.
One of the things he did about a year ago was discover the long pull chain for my closet light. He was so tenacious about it he would climb the wire shelving trying to get at it. I ended up looping it over a hook up high and he seemed to forget about it. Last night, when I picked him up to go do subQ he glanced up at the ceiling, remembering. I could see it in his eyes. He did it again just now when I picked him up to go do a feeding, so I unlooped it and he played with it, purring and trying to bite on it for about 5 mins while I held him. He was pretty focused on the task, kept looking up where it came from and purred the whole time. What a gift to me - and to him.
On the bad side, he had a lot of blood on his face this morning. I can't tell if the tumor is bleeding or it is "just" where his upper fang is now rubbing on his lower lip due to the lower jaw swelling. I saw that area was raw last night. This is not good because, of course, it will remain raw since he drools over it and food particles will irritate it.
I don't know how much longer I can and should keep him going. He is still doing Jeddie things, just not as "freely" as he normally would, but I don't think we are looking at more than a few weeks before things are just too much for both of us. He still purrs, he still has an ability to play. I can't see ending it now, but when? I keep telling myself to keep going for the next week until his appt with the oncologist a week from tomorrow. By then she will be able to tell if he is responding to the last chemo. I think his chin is a little less protruding, but that might be wishful thinking.
Please, if you can, say a prayer for both of us.
On the good side: we are getting better with the bottle feeding. He is very tolerant until he has had enough after 2-3 Tb. I need to get 8 Tb to be a minimum and 15 would be ideal. I am trying for 5-6 feeding, every 2-4 hours.
He went out on the balcony and sucked on catnip plants again and then rested out there for a while.
One of the difficult things about this sort of end of life, hospice care is that you can't help but think about all the things that make him Jeddie and that he will "never do again". I need to write those things down, I want to at least - it's like if they are written down, they won't disappear when he does. Maybe I should take video, but the most endearing things are ones we do together - like cuddles at night before falling asleep, brushing in the morning, playing. I do have photos of my favorite, sleeping on his back with all his paws in the air and his upper body turned sideways. I am being blessed by getting glimpses of those things still.
One of the things he did about a year ago was discover the long pull chain for my closet light. He was so tenacious about it he would climb the wire shelving trying to get at it. I ended up looping it over a hook up high and he seemed to forget about it. Last night, when I picked him up to go do subQ he glanced up at the ceiling, remembering. I could see it in his eyes. He did it again just now when I picked him up to go do a feeding, so I unlooped it and he played with it, purring and trying to bite on it for about 5 mins while I held him. He was pretty focused on the task, kept looking up where it came from and purred the whole time. What a gift to me - and to him.
On the bad side, he had a lot of blood on his face this morning. I can't tell if the tumor is bleeding or it is "just" where his upper fang is now rubbing on his lower lip due to the lower jaw swelling. I saw that area was raw last night. This is not good because, of course, it will remain raw since he drools over it and food particles will irritate it.
I don't know how much longer I can and should keep him going. He is still doing Jeddie things, just not as "freely" as he normally would, but I don't think we are looking at more than a few weeks before things are just too much for both of us. He still purrs, he still has an ability to play. I can't see ending it now, but when? I keep telling myself to keep going for the next week until his appt with the oncologist a week from tomorrow. By then she will be able to tell if he is responding to the last chemo. I think his chin is a little less protruding, but that might be wishful thinking.
Please, if you can, say a prayer for both of us.
