5/21 Kasha AMPS 449, 105@+4 PMPS 481

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kryskat

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Still feeling heartbroken.

Kasha ate a decent breakfast today. She threw up earlier in the night, like she does sometimes when she has an empty stomach - just liquid.

I think Kasha and Blue feel the sadness in the house today. Everyone seems a little quiet.

I was thinking about Big Cat. My vet showed me his X-rays and how his whole right side was full of fluid, even after the Lasix and hours in oxygen. And how his heart had gotten so big it was pressing on his airway and other places. And I thought, is it ironic that my sweet big-hearted cat died of an enlarged heart? He was out of the oxygen for only moments and I could hear him wheezing. It went quickly, because he couldn't be out of the oxygen and no one wanted him to suffer. He struggled a little when they took him out of the oxygen tent, but I held his head and kissed it and kept my face near his the entire time and the vet tech pointed out to me later that he relaxed when I touched him. My sweet baby...

His brother, Blue, is here looking at me. People confused them always, they are both big white cats. Someone left them as kittens on the corner of my street and we were riding bikes and heard them. How could anyone just abandon 2 beautiful white cats on a corner? Then they came home with us and never left. Until now.

I love Kasha beyond words, but there will always be a big place in my heart for my Big White Cat, the world's best snuggler and bringer of glue sticks and other surpises... My angel cat.


Yesterday
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

I am so deeply sorry for your loss.....there is such a void when they have to leave. Fly Free Big Cat...
:YMHUG: This is such a sad time for you all....
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

I'm so sorry you had to let go of Big Cat. I hope the sadness goes soon and you are filled with love at his wonderful memories.
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

I know it is so very hard and sad. Blue will really need you right now, as he will be missing his brother. I know people have dropped off cats where I used to live in a large apartment complex. They think because of so many apartments someone will give them a home. Blue and Big Cat were so fortunate you found them. When you rescue an abandoned cat, they just seem so grateful and never stop thanking us. Maggie was a rescue, too, living in a ravine below my apartment complex. Take care.
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

Providing that final kindness is so incredibly hard. It is truly an act of love to not want Big Cat to suffer. Hold Kasha and Blue close and take comfort in all that you do for them, as well, and how much they love you and you them.
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

Been thinking of you and Big Cat all morning Krys....it is comforting in a strange way, to know that was nothing...nothing at all that you could have done for his condition. In your love for him and total understanding of his needs, realized that this was his time. That was very unselfish of you....knowing how much you would miss him....it is so very sad to realize that they have such delicate little lives. They always go too soon....never enough time for our liking, right? We would always want more time.....
He is free of pain and discomfort now....in a better place for now. Such a tremendous loss for you to bear....(((Krys))) my heart goes out to you....sweet Big Cat....fly free with all the others who have gone ahead....
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

(((((KRYS))))) I am so deeply sorry for your loss of Big Cat!! I have been crying since I saw your post late last night--
God graces us with these kitties, and sends them iinto our lives to love & nuture, & keep close to us--
And we , always knowing that they cannot live as long as we do, still take them in, because our Lives are
SO ENRICHED for just having them in it!!--Unconditional love was given & received here and your letting go
was the final act of the very deepest Love--Fly free Big Cat--You will be together again..
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449

You asked a question that has an obvious answer to me:
How could someone abandon them? So they could be found by you and to have an incredible life with you. They were so lucky to have been abandoned so that you could provide them with such an awesome home.
I am so sorry for your loss; now is the time that your other kitties will need you more than ever. Big Cat's suffering is done; he is at peace and out of pain.
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449, 105@+4, 499@+10 Bounce

Looks like she's bouncing already... Hope that's all it is.

Gave SQ fluids (slightly under 150 ml) after her 499 +10 reading - trying to do this every other day or so based on recommendation of vet. Plus I want to see if it improves her appetite, since she was ravenous last time but that might not be related.

Feel like I have a brick on/in my chest. Feeling tired and heavy (even though this ordeal has actually made me lose a bunch of weight - guess the upside is that I can now wear anything in my closet, even stuff I haven't worn in years - it's like going shopping without leaving the house or spending money!).

I set out bowls for meals. That's hard - seeing only 2 bowls on the counter. Now the food cans don't divide up right and I have to throw away food every meal (Like they would eat food that's been refrigerated. As if). Sigh... I'm allowing myself to dwell today. Time to grieve.

Well, the upside of a bounce is, if it looks like she's going to stay high all night, I'm going to take a sedative and try to relax/sleep, knowing I don't have to watch her as closely.
 
Re: 5/21 Kasha AMPS 449, 105@+4, 499@+10 Bounce

She ate well for dinner - over 2 1/2 Tbsp, which, for Kasha at one sitting, is pretty amazing. And makes me sigh in relief, knowing she ate a good meal.

And her BG was still under 500 for PMPS, which is pretty amazing, since it was slightly higher at +10 and I was gearing up for the worst.

When I was at the vet for her this week, I mentioned that I hadn't been sure if I could manage the squids on my own, but now I see that it's no big deal (I wasn't afraid to do it, I was wondering if she'd stay still and LET me give her the fluids. Plus, I'm so uncoordinated that it's always a challenge to do things without someone to help out). She (Kasha's vet) said that if I can poke her ear over and over to test her, I can definitely do the SQs. Which is funny - that she seemed to imply that the BG testing would be more difficult than administering fluids. So I told her this little tidbit - when I sit down next to Kasha to test her BG, she starts to purr. My vet said that she's just weird ;-) But she does purr when I approach with my little ear testing kit. And I can rub her ears all day pretty much - I think they were sore when I first started to make her into a pincushion, but now she's back to loving the ear rubs, so I guess it works out well for us.
 
of course you can grieve, I'm sure most of us have been where you are now, and we understand. I remember that feeling of only putting down two food bowls too. :sad:

Kasha gave you some nice numbers today!
 
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