3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191,+7-87

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Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA)

Caryl & Sebastian & Alex (GA)

Member Since 2009
Happy First Day Of Spring, Everyone!
Well...First Day Of Spring, anyway....

Alex is fine (UNJINX UNJINX....Jackson too..another 2 Unjinx's if you will) and I am grateful to God or whoever that is making that be so..at least for today.But I have such a hard time going about posting about the cute things he did last night, or how I was worried that he didn't have a bowel movement last night, or that he's being so much more affectionate lately when I know that so so many of the kitties that came only a short time before us are "missing". And that their beans are crying. And I start feeling guilty.
Admittedly, I am a worrier. I worry when I think that A&J are turning 14 next month. That alone can stop me in my tracks a make my heart skip a beat.

I try to think that I am not a selfish person...I don't think I am. But lately I have been scared to read the boards. I take it very personally whenever I see one of "those" postings. And of course, they should be posted. They are family. This is not just a normal "I love my kitty" message board. We all have sick pets.
When Tucker passed, it truly broke my heart.Actually, it upsets me when any of our kitties pass..(what irks me is when I see reference to some of them being called"special"...as in we have lost many "special" kitties lately. They were all loved, and that means they were all 'special' to someone..even if not as well known).However, I understand what was meant...I just always try to put myself in the shoes of everyone who is reading. Last night when I read about Leo, I started sobbing violently. Strange reaction since I never met Leo. Maybe because I knew so much history. Maybe because Alex has heart problems too. Maybe because I knew how devastated Carolyn was going to be.....and maybe because "there but for the grace of God go I". Everyone says that I shouldn't make my cats the center of my world and maybe I agree..but I'm single, I have no kids, and it is what it is. At least for now. I don't know what brought this on...the need to emote...but maybe my friend Peggy(who has also passed on said it best about my last cat, Chance, at dinner one night..."God help Caryl if that cat dies before she does...she will be an absolute train wreck". I guess I have really bad issues with this. :sad:

My sympathies are with all of you who have lost your babies recently. If I missed anyone it's only because I haven't been on the boards that frequently.

I am sorry for this long post..I find myself in sates of emotional flux that even I don't understand lately. ohmygod_smile

Alex IS fine. All p's are in order. He went from having kinda runny poop to being what I thought was constipated so I've added miralax to his food and he made me proud today. His weight is still up, (I wish I could say the same for mine, I've been sick with diverticulitis all week), and he has his cuddly, purry pants on. Alex, Jackson and I are going to watch "The Fighter" this afternoon.

Have a great Sunday everyone..beans and kitties :razz:

One Week Ago
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

Afternoon Caryl,

I understand what you are saying.

Hey, I thought our kitties were suppose to be the center of our world. I know mine are as well.

It sounds like you had a tough week yourself. Hope you start feeling better.

Glad you shared.

Feel better soon.
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

((((((Caryl)))))) Of course you are in states of emotional flux. You are coping with a lot in your life.

I think one of the great lessons I have learned through this site is about coping with loss. If we are lucky enough to have kitties to love (and they are wonderful choices for giving and receiving love!), loss is part of the price we pay. "You choose the chance you take." I've been reminded to step away from the keyboard, and hug my Kitty, and love him, and remember that all things must pass.

I am so grateful that we are all here, whether to celebrate that Alex is having a good day, or to comfort each other in hard times.

Either way, hugs to you.
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

Kathy and Kitty said:
((((((Caryl)))))) Of course you are in states of emotional flux. You are coping with a lot in your life.

I think one of the great lessons I have learned through this site is about coping with loss. If we are lucky enough to have kitties to love (and they are wonderful choices for giving and receiving love!), loss is part of the price we pay. "You choose the chance you take." I've been reminded to step away from the keyboard, and hug my Kitty, and love him, and remember that all things must pass.

I am so grateful that we are all here, whether to celebrate that Alex is having a good day, or to comfort each other in hard times.

Either way, hugs to you.
Click to expand...

There's a Bruce lyric for every situation..isn't there, Chica? :mrgreen:
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

I don't know why people regard The Godfather as the manual to life. Bruce covers everything - twice! :mrgreen:
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

Tena and Curry said:
Afternoon Caryl,

I understand what you are saying.

Hey, I thought our kitties were suppose to be the center of our world. I know mine are as well.

It sounds like you had a tough week yourself. Hope you start feeling better.

Glad you shared.

Feel better soon.
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Thank you, Tena. It's nice to have kindred spirits who understand :razz:
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

Hi, guys!

geez...i don't see it as having "bad issues" at all...
I see it as someone who is able to care for, become involved with, celebrate with, and grieve with others.
And I think if there were more folks like that in the world...it would be a kinder, gentler place to live.

Totally agreed on Bruce :-D

glad to hear you and the furkiddies are well...

celi & binks
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

Because... "Two hearts are better than one! Two hearts, girl, get the job done." :mrgreen:
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

I dread seeing rainbows and candles.
I have grown to hate them. That about sums it up.
And I feel guilty that Donovan went OTJ after ~10 months when so many other kitties here are still struggling. So I didn't post much after that. But I love reading about all of the kitties because they bring so much to our lives. I can totally "see" Mannie defending his nanners, Shadow racing around as Black Flash, Johnny Cat doing his poo dance, Binks chowing on pork fried rice, etc. So when one of us falls on hard times, or worse... it hurts a LOT. But at the same time, I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know this incredible group, and to have loved many cats througout my life, even though the pain was horrific when the end came. Knowing they would leave a hole in my heart someday, I still would not NOT have welcomed them into my heart; and I think everyone here especially understands and accepts that. Some days it just really really sucks. For those days, I am grateful to be able to come here, or PM someone, and know that they "get it."

love to you and Alex and Jackson.

MJ&Donovan&Butthead
 
Re: 3/20 Alex AMPS 205, +3-191

MJ+Donovan said:
I dread seeing rainbows and candles.
I have grown to hate them. That about sums it up.
And I feel guilty that Donovan went OTJ after ~10 months when so many other kitties here are still struggling. So I didn't post much after that. But I love reading about all of the kitties because they bring so much to our lives. I can totally "see" Mannie defending his nanners, Shadow racing around as Black Flash, Johnny Cat doing his poo dance, Binks chowing on pork fried rice, etc. So when one of us falls on hard times, or worse... it hurts a LOT. But at the same time, I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know this incredible group, and to have loved many cats througout my life, even though the pain was horrific when the end came. Knowing they would leave a hole in my heart someday, I still would not NOT have welcomed them into my heart; and I think everyone here especially understands and accepts that. Some days it just really really sucks. For those days, I am grateful to be able to come here, or PM someone, and know that they "get it."

love to you and Alex and Jackson.

MJ&Donovan&Butthead
Click to expand...

Thank you, MJ

Love to you, Donovan and Butthead too
 
i get it.

one time i must've slid the cursor across the icon posts and hit the rainbow by mistake, and when i looked at punkin's name with a rainbow i nearly fainted. my mouse pad is uber sensitive and it does stuff like that sometimes. anyway, i admit that being new here it's a heart-stopper to see a kitty has passed away - something all of us know is a possibility and no one wants.

at the same time, when this has become your support group and everyone's in the same boat, of course this is where you share your ups and downs.

MJ, I get what you're saying too about feeling guilty with Donovan going OTJ, but also think of it as inspirational. I know even if punkin doesn't get there, I can be generous enough of spirit to be SO GLAD for anyone else who does.

I read a quote once several years ago when my mom passed away that said "the price of great love is great loss." It is so true, but who among us wouldn't rather have the great love while we can?

anyway, those are my musings in response to your post. your feelings are SO very normal - and you can see shared by others as well. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. i appreciate it.
 
julie1220 said:
i get it.

one time i must've slid the cursor across the icon posts and hit the rainbow by mistake, and when i looked at punkin's name with a rainbow i nearly fainted. my mouse pad is uber sensitive and it does stuff like that sometimes. anyway, i admit that being new here it's a heart-stopper to see a kitty has passed away - something all of us know is a possibility and no one wants.

at the same time, when this has become your support group and everyone's in the same boat, of course this is where you share your ups and downs.

MJ, I get what you're saying too about feeling guilty with Donovan going OTJ, but also think of it as inspirational. I know even if punkin doesn't get there, I can be generous enough of spirit to be SO GLAD for anyone else who does.

I read a quote once several years ago when my mom passed away that said "the price of great love is great loss." It is so true, but who among us wouldn't rather have the great love while we can?

anyway, those are my musings in response to your post. your feelings are SO very normal - and you can see shared by others as well. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. i appreciate it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for responding, Julie :)
I'm going through a lot right now. My mom has lung cancer and I'm always fearful of "things" happening to Alex and/or Jackson. I feel like everything is out of my control sometimes. I guess this was one of those times.

xoxo
 
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