2/20 Michael amps 461 +4 228 pmps 322 +1.75 280

[Paula]

http://www.felinediabetes.com/FDMB/...4-1-5-310-another-bounce.133378/#post-1375375
Good Morning
I have been reading M's spread sheet from 6/2014 to 2/2015, and from what I can tell there has been very little change in the color pattern. M has been on all different doses, ranging from .5 to 2.5u of Lantus so the dosing hasn't worked. Michael appears to be o.k., but I think the damage has been done. His poor little body is on a perpetual rollacoaster, and his ears are a mess. By hometesting I have kept him from going hypo. Other than that I can't see where he has come such a long way.
My vet has tried(in her own little way) to work with me, but seems to have a carefree attitude about this.
I have physical challenges, which I am sure complicate the situation.
Michael's future looks so dim knowing if I don't get this under control, he is going to waste away & suffer. I don't want to lose him! By not having this under control, I feel like I am killing my cat, and maybe the best thing is put him to sleep. I'm crying while I'm posting, but I don't know what to do. I have tried everything. Without him I'm done.
Michael has been such a good boy, letting me test, and give shots. He just sits on his condo, or I say lets go get tested and he just jumps up on his condo. I have been sovery fortunate, to have such a good & loving boy.

Thanks for all your help, you will never know how much it has meant to me.
Paula (Michael's Mom)

 

[Darin & Charlie]

Paula, paula, you got to take a step back and relax, what damage has been done are you talking about? And no need to speak if putting Michael to sleep, I know you are frustrated and feel that you are not getting anywhere. I think Michael is doing great compared to your first 6 months, he is needing less insulin to get to where he needs to be, which is huge improvement, his bounces are not lasting the full 6 cycles, which is an improvement. As far as the ears are you using neosporin with pain relief? Applying after or before pokies does wonders to Charlie's ears, I do one ear in morning and the other at night, by the time I have to do the ear the next morn or night his ear has healed.
I think the damage from high numbers come from months of undelt with high numbers, I look at it as if you stuck you hand in the fire for a second( high bounce numbers) you won't get burned, but if you hold your hand in the fire(not giving insulin) your hand will burn
Dont get down on your self, I think considering your challenges, you are taking the best care of Michael that you can, and that's what matters.

 

[Marje and Gracie]

(((Paula)))

Darin makes many, many good points. Here's what I like to do with a SS. I like to just scroll through it and not look at numbers....just look at colors. You would be amazed how you can see changes just by doing that. Because it allows you to look at the forest and not zero in on the trees. When I do that with Michael's SSs, I definitely see improvement. You also have to remember that he is getting insulin. That is huge. Yes, he's bouncing. But please look back through Gracie's SSs or Gabby's or almost any kitty and look how similar they look to Michael's. Do not assume you are doing irreparable damage to his body unless you are seeing some change in labs, body condition, etc. And then it might not even be the diabetes...it could be something not related.

No one ever said this was easy but as Darin said...step back. Take several deep breaths. You are doing absolutely awesome!!! You should be so proud of yourself...I know we all are. This dance can be challenging when there are two healthy people doing it so I can imagine how it can get you down. But give yourself a pat on the back and rejoice in how healthy Michael is because you have been treating him and adjusting his dose when he needs it.

 

[Sienne and Gabby (GA)]

I've got a bouncy kitty too. You won't see it too much in the most recent SSs but you will see the bounciness earlier on. I've been at this for 5+ years. Gabby isn't wasting away and she is still diabetic.

Darin and Marje have made good points. Let me add an observation. Michael is more than his numbers. Does your kitty still snuggle up with you and purr? Does he seem happy? That's what's important.

Michael may be a bit harder to regulate than the average cat due to his being hyperthyroid. You're dealing with a more complex situation than many of the other folks here and that bears keeping in mind. I also know how discouraging it can be to see some of the kitties come to this forum and go into remission in a month or two. Marje and I have been at this for a while as was Dyana. In fact, Dyana's J.D.'s SS may be a good one for you to look at. J.D. may have been the king of the bounce and it's not because Dyana wasn't doing her best. Some kitties just have numbers that insist on defying gravity and then coming to earth with a thud. That may be the mystery of Micheal. Or, his numbers may flatten out.

Please take a few breaths and remember why you're here. We can offer the support and a bit of help getting the emotional distance since this can be a frustrating and challenging process. We all know you're doing your best.

 

[Amy&TrixieCat]

No doubt, FD is frustrating and challenging and hard. But I agree with Darin and Marje - you are doing an amazing job with Michael! There are lots and lots of kitties with numbers all over the map, or numbers that run higher. Another couple kitties to check out are Shasta and Furball. They both tend to run higher, but the are fine! Sometimes that is just the nature of diabetes. As Marje said, Michael is getting insulin, and that is huge. You are testing him and keeping him safe. Also huge. Michael is very, very lucky to have you as his bean!

Remember, Michael is far more than numbers. He is your kitty, and you are his bean. As long as Michael is feeling good and happy, that is all that really, truly matters.

 

[Ella & Rusty & Stu(GA)]

((((Paula)))),
Just to chime in to reinforce what the others have said: you are doing an excellent job getting Michael the insulin he needs even though his numbers do not always cooperate. Michael is a bouncer. Eventually he may flatten out. You may at some point decide to try a different insulin (Levemir?). His hyperthyroid, as Sienne suggests, may indeed make him more difficult to regulate. It's not easy to find the right balance when caring for a kitty with both hyperT and diabetes. Stu was also hyperthyroid, but it was discovered very (too) late and he had other health issues (CKD, cancer). He was very difficult to regulate (it didn't help that I shot a PZI insulin "blind" for 4 years before finding this board).
Michael is a lucky kitty to have you for his mamabean. He is happy and he enjoys being a cat. He loves you and wants to please you. You are addressing his diabetes (and his HyperT) and he is not going to waste away. I followed Marje's lead and scrolled through Michael's SS: there is definite improvement there.
If you are up for experimenting, there are a few things you could try: have you thought about introducing (gradually) some different LC foods? Would you consider switching to a different meter? (The Relion Prime requires a much larger blood drop than the Relion Confirm or Micro; I have read here that some people saw much greater consistency in numbers after switching from the Prime to one of these two Relion meters. (The Arkray Glucocard 01 and Glucocard 01 Mini are available at a good price at American Diabetes Wholesale and are the same as the Relion Confirm and Relion Micro.) A meter that requires less blood could help Michael's sore ears (and Neosporin + Pain Relief will definitely help).

We are all here for you, Paula. We are a family and we care.

Hugs to you and scritches to Michael,

Ella & Rusty

 

[Wendy&Neko]

{{{Paula}}} - I'm yet another person with a bouncy cat. Like Michael, Neko has a secondary condition that just makes it a bit harder to regulate. But at this point of time, Michael is doing way better than Neko was doing at the same point. Some cats just take longer to stop bouncing. I used to call Neko the Rainbow Queen. I know if can feel disheartening. But as the others have said there is progress in Michael's spreadsheet. You are doing an awesome job. I know of people who had diabetic kitties for years without home testing. You are doing so much more than that and Michael is the better for it.

It's also very important to look at the cat as a whole. How is his weight? Is it stable? How is his coat - is he grooming? And is he playing and purring? There is probably a world of difference between now and when he was first diagnosed.

 

[Tiger(GA) and Ruth]

Paula, I agree with all the others- don't beat yourself up and get too focused on Michael's numbers. Michael is much more than a bunch of numbers colored onto a spreadhsheet! Like Wendy, I would bet there is a world of difference between how he was one year ago as opposed to now- and that simply could not have happened without your loving care!

One more thing, I am concerned for your well being- like you, and there are actually quite a few of us, I am the sole caregiver for Tiger and I know how it is very difficult at times not to have a break. (My DH had a stroke when we were only one month into this little dance) I am hoping that you could possibly take advantage of your friend and neighbor Darin's offer of support and give yourself some time off every so often, or even if you occasionally have to skip a shot to go and see a movie with a girlfriend or whatever it takes. You need some time away to heal yourself and maintain a life outside of FD, or else you cannot possibly be 100% for Michael. Okay, getting off my soapbox now, but I say this out of caring and concern......

 

[Marilyn and Sheldon]

Paula, I can't say it any better than the previous posters. You are a great bean! You and Michael are a super team. Take some time to reflect on how well Michael is doing, Michael-the-cat, not Michael-the-numbers.

Take some time for yourself, too. Refresh, recharge, return.

Your friend and a member of Michael's cheering section,

Marilyn

 

[Tricia Cinco(GA) & Harvey]

{{{Paula}}}

I know how frustrating and depressing it can be to deal with not only FD, but other issues as well. You wonder if you are just being selfish to keep your kitty going through this, or is he really having a good life? I have that conversation with myself often. About each of my 4 kitties, as they all now have major issues. I do have a DH that handles the t/f/s, but pretty much all other care of the kitties falls on me, and I get overwhelmed and very depressed about it all. But then one of the kitties gives me a lick, or a head butt, or snuggles, or just sits next to me and purrs, and I regain my confidence and am motivated to keep going.

All the others that posted before me have made valid points and asked good questions that you need to consider. Only you know what is best for you and Michael, but I think you need to take some deep breaths and some time to clear your head before you make any decisions. That diabetes expert that I consulted at UC Davis VMTH told me that a lot of owners of diabetic animals get too fixated on the numbers and lose sight of the cat as a whole. If he's happy and acting like he's comfortable, his numbers are just that - numbers. There are other members here who are able, due to their own health or hectic schedules, to do less for their kitties than you do, but they keep plugging away because they love their cats and don't want to be without them. I know you feel that way. Please, please let us help you. You have a huge support system here - use us.

Many prayers, vines and hugs to you and Michael.