rhiannon and shadow (GA)
Member Since 2012
last post
Hello Friends, warning.... TMI... too much information alert!
not much new with Shadow.... it's been a week since her lump removal and she is still licking but not tugging on her stitches. One more week and they can come out.
Got an 81 yesterday for a bg test.
we went to counseling on Tuesday ... kinda liked the guy but now I'm not as sure.
My dd had a laundry list of everything we were doing to her... psychological abuse.
My dh isn't as good at recognizing her pain as real... and that was one of her gripes.... that he belittles her and her feelings.
And he has on occasion when she got hysterical in the past. He's ex-Navy so he's too proud of the fact that he has no feminine side.
Most of the list was against me. I have smothered her.... and I see it now. I so wish she had just talked to me before this drastic moveout.
And I was feeling really down....
I started to write earlier today and abandoned all that I had typed.
I saw my dr yesterday for antidepressant ( oh the side effects have been awful in 2 days- we lowered the dose so I can adjust)
She told me 8 times .... You have to let her go! and then if I didn't, I would lose her forever.
And We cried a lot last night. Then her best friend ( who has barely seen her this last year since she got engaged) came over and talked with us last night.
They had the same concerns we do. But she had one piece of the puzzle.
Then this morning my aunt called.
My dd has been talking to her since this happened. They hadn't talked much before.
But my dd was feeling the repercussion of what she has done and was seeking family. A good sign.
And my dd was even wanting to move to Texas and exploring that option.
I begged my aunt to call her back and ask if I could write her a letter, email... something and the answer was yes.
So I have.
I told her we wished she would come back. We will start over with grown up rules. Curfew is her discretion. (she has early classes)
And all the other things on the list would change, including the worst one of all.
She says that I said to her months ago, on a really bad day, that I would kill her fiancé , myself and leave her to suffer.
Whoa...
I don't remember that but I do know that I am one of those who can say awful things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment so I will choose to believe that I said it
and I will get control of my tongue and never say anything negative like that again. I also have a suicidal past before my son was born in 1991. And those feelings were
encroaching again and I had spoken to her about it. I should not share so much. She's too young to handle it.
I'm not feeling that way now.... Hopeless yes, but not giving up.
So please pray for my family that we can repair this damage and get back to being a family again. There will be some difficulties but with counseling we should be able
to make it right again.
I was so despondent and now I have a glimmer of hope .
I'm praying all day and we are about to go get my mother's ashes.
eta: oh, and the reason I'm not sure about the counselor is he kinda acted like this was a normal phase for her .... some leave dramatically.
but according to my aunt, he wasn't very optimistic to my dd about us. I guess he thinks we can't/won't change. My years in psychology are why I say that. It is the norm.
I can see that he might think that of my DH.... lacking that feminine side.
And my husband is really agitated at how the fiancé treated him... he does have to keep his brain in control. There was a glimpse of my DH having to override his impulse
while in session.
But we can get another counselor if need be.
Hello Friends, warning.... TMI... too much information alert!
not much new with Shadow.... it's been a week since her lump removal and she is still licking but not tugging on her stitches. One more week and they can come out.
Got an 81 yesterday for a bg test.
we went to counseling on Tuesday ... kinda liked the guy but now I'm not as sure.
My dd had a laundry list of everything we were doing to her... psychological abuse.
My dh isn't as good at recognizing her pain as real... and that was one of her gripes.... that he belittles her and her feelings.
And he has on occasion when she got hysterical in the past. He's ex-Navy so he's too proud of the fact that he has no feminine side.
Most of the list was against me. I have smothered her.... and I see it now. I so wish she had just talked to me before this drastic moveout.
And I was feeling really down....
I started to write earlier today and abandoned all that I had typed.
I saw my dr yesterday for antidepressant ( oh the side effects have been awful in 2 days- we lowered the dose so I can adjust)
She told me 8 times .... You have to let her go! and then if I didn't, I would lose her forever.
And We cried a lot last night. Then her best friend ( who has barely seen her this last year since she got engaged) came over and talked with us last night.
They had the same concerns we do. But she had one piece of the puzzle.
Then this morning my aunt called.
My dd has been talking to her since this happened. They hadn't talked much before.
But my dd was feeling the repercussion of what she has done and was seeking family. A good sign.
And my dd was even wanting to move to Texas and exploring that option.
I begged my aunt to call her back and ask if I could write her a letter, email... something and the answer was yes.
So I have.
I told her we wished she would come back. We will start over with grown up rules. Curfew is her discretion. (she has early classes)
And all the other things on the list would change, including the worst one of all.
She says that I said to her months ago, on a really bad day, that I would kill her fiancé , myself and leave her to suffer.
Whoa...
I don't remember that but I do know that I am one of those who can say awful things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment so I will choose to believe that I said it
and I will get control of my tongue and never say anything negative like that again. I also have a suicidal past before my son was born in 1991. And those feelings were
encroaching again and I had spoken to her about it. I should not share so much. She's too young to handle it.
I'm not feeling that way now.... Hopeless yes, but not giving up.
So please pray for my family that we can repair this damage and get back to being a family again. There will be some difficulties but with counseling we should be able
to make it right again.
I was so despondent and now I have a glimmer of hope .
I'm praying all day and we are about to go get my mother's ashes.
eta: oh, and the reason I'm not sure about the counselor is he kinda acted like this was a normal phase for her .... some leave dramatically.
but according to my aunt, he wasn't very optimistic to my dd about us. I guess he thinks we can't/won't change. My years in psychology are why I say that. It is the norm.
I can see that he might think that of my DH.... lacking that feminine side.
And my husband is really agitated at how the fiancé treated him... he does have to keep his brain in control. There was a glimpse of my DH having to override his impulse
while in session.
But we can get another counselor if need be.
