Charlie'sMom22
Member Since 2025
I’m struggling to even type these words. I had to say goodbye to Charlie this morning. Around midnight he suddenly lost control of his legs and began breathing rapidly and trying to hide. At the time his feet were still warm and his nailbeds were pink. He was very scared. I wrapped him in his favorite blanket and called a friend to rush us to the ER. While we were waiting it got progressively worse, and on the ride there he was panting and struggling to breathe. I held him in my lap the whole way and tried to comfort him. I could hear the fluid in his lungs. His feet became cold and limp.
The vet confirmed that it was a saddle thrombus (blood clot) and heart failure. He said the prognosis was extremely poor and even if he were to survive treatment he would likely be paralyzed in his back legs, and the odds of another clot happening—often within days—were very high. He would not have been able to have any semblance of a normal, happy, or peaceful end to his life. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to go on his walks that he loved so much.
We were able to go into a quiet and comfortable room, and they had him on lots of pain meds so he wasn’t suffering while we said our goodbyes. My ex (his dad) drove up to be there with us. I spent some time holding him and looking into his eyes and talking to him. He was looking at me the whole time. I asked him to come and find me again if he can. Toward the end he rested his head in my hand like he always did when we would cuddle. I hope that means he felt loved and safe in that moment. The rest of it was fast, and then he was gone.
I’m so angry at the universe for doing this to my gentle, sweet boy. At the same time, I think something like this was the only way I was going to let him go. If it was something fixable I would have killed myself trying to save him. The last year has been incredibly hard and I was not managing well. I truly do not think I could have gone on like that much longer without collapsing. And in the last few months, he wasn’t doing well either. The problems kept piling up and were quickly becoming insurmountable. I think he was in a lot more pain than he let on, and was fighting hard to stick around for me. Now we can both rest.
I loved him more than I have ever loved or will ever love any other soul on this earth. My house is so empty and I don’t know how to exist without him. He was quite literally my entire world.
Thank you to everyone here for your patience and support, and for teaching me how to care for him. Caring for a cat in this way is a special opportunity that few people will ever get. I feel lucky that he was such a good boy and trusted and loved me so fully. I hope he’ll find me again.
The vet confirmed that it was a saddle thrombus (blood clot) and heart failure. He said the prognosis was extremely poor and even if he were to survive treatment he would likely be paralyzed in his back legs, and the odds of another clot happening—often within days—were very high. He would not have been able to have any semblance of a normal, happy, or peaceful end to his life. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to go on his walks that he loved so much.
We were able to go into a quiet and comfortable room, and they had him on lots of pain meds so he wasn’t suffering while we said our goodbyes. My ex (his dad) drove up to be there with us. I spent some time holding him and looking into his eyes and talking to him. He was looking at me the whole time. I asked him to come and find me again if he can. Toward the end he rested his head in my hand like he always did when we would cuddle. I hope that means he felt loved and safe in that moment. The rest of it was fast, and then he was gone.
I’m so angry at the universe for doing this to my gentle, sweet boy. At the same time, I think something like this was the only way I was going to let him go. If it was something fixable I would have killed myself trying to save him. The last year has been incredibly hard and I was not managing well. I truly do not think I could have gone on like that much longer without collapsing. And in the last few months, he wasn’t doing well either. The problems kept piling up and were quickly becoming insurmountable. I think he was in a lot more pain than he let on, and was fighting hard to stick around for me. Now we can both rest.
I loved him more than I have ever loved or will ever love any other soul on this earth. My house is so empty and I don’t know how to exist without him. He was quite literally my entire world.
Thank you to everyone here for your patience and support, and for teaching me how to care for him. Caring for a cat in this way is a special opportunity that few people will ever get. I feel lucky that he was such a good boy and trusted and loved me so fully. I hope he’ll find me again.








