6.16 Diane, Tyler’s mom, please send prayers for healing

My FDMB family and I truly mean that,I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all your support, it means so much to me. Today I can go pick up Ashley's ashes ,my sister will be taking me. This is going to be tough. I miss all of you but I'm hoping to come back on here some time next week , I want to keep busy. I think Tyler is missing her ,he keeps going in her room meowing.
I hope all the kitties are doing well , sending prayers to the kitties that aren't feeling well. I miss you all and will be back soon
Love you all :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Ni smrt tisto kar nas loči in življenje ni , kar nas druži. Torej vezi močnejše . Brez pomena zanje so razdalje, kraj in čas.
Tudi, če ste daleč stran , mislimo in molimo za vas :bighug:❤️:rb_icon:
 
In case anyone wants to watch this documentary about CRPS
A man named Charles Mattocks who is a celebrity chef and has diabetes made this film to try and bring awareness to it. His mom has it and the people who you see that he interviewed I know them ,they belong to the support groups I belong to
His moms brother is the singer Bob Marley
This was made years ago , he plans on making another one
 
Diane, your daughter sounded like a she was a wonderful person. I'm so sorry for what she had to endure, and for your loss. I'm thinking of you this morning.
 
My dear Auntie Diane, I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet Ashley. You who have cared so much for all of us and our kitties, with such good humor and love, my heart goes out to you during this terrible time. I know I am not here much these days but please know that I will be thinking of you and sending you strength and courage to carry on as Ashley would want you to. Ruby sends you headbutts and purrs. ❤️
 
Katherine&Ruby said:
My dear Auntie Diane, I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet Ashley. You who have cared so much for all of us and our kitties, with such good humor and love, my heart goes out to you during this terrible time. I know I am not here much these days but please know that I will be thinking of you and sending you strength and courage to carry on as Ashley would want you to. Ruby sends you headbutts and purrs. ❤️
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Hi Katherine so good to hear from you
Thank you so very much, I found you on Facebook and messages you
Hope to hear from you there :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Hey Diane, I hope I'm not opening wounds by commenting here. I haven't been on much due to things being same-old-same-old with Lando, but I just got on and saw and had to send my condolences.

I'm so so incredibly sorry to hear about what happened. Nothing I could ever say could take your pain away, and my heart aches for you. I want you to know we all love you so so much and I'm thinking of you and your family during this time. Lando is sending his kisses to you. Please be strong and brave <3
 
TankNRK said:
Hey Diane, I hope I'm not opening wounds by commenting here. I haven't been on much due to things being same-old-same-old with Lando, but I just got on and saw and had to send my condolences.

I'm so so incredibly sorry to hear about what happened. Nothing I could ever say could take your pain away, and my heart aches for you. I want you to know we all love you so so much and I'm thinking of you and your family during this time. Lando is sending his kisses to you. Please be strong and brave <3
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Hi Tank thank you so much , you're not opening wounds at all, I feel so loved by all of you and that helps . I'm just trying to keep busy , the nights are the hardest.
I go up to see my dad at the nursing home who has Alzheimer's more often now because I didn't want to leave Ashley alone that often
He doesn't know who me, my sister or brother are anymore and I can see that he's getting more tired each couple of weeks. It makes me suck to my stomach seeing him like this. Thanks for reaching out and give Lando kisses for me. Tyler just woke me up at 4:50 AM this morning to eat. Thank you Tyler lol :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
I've been active again today and I immediately noticed your absence Diane. I was replying to newbie posts and normally as I hit submit I find that you have posted several things in the time it took me to make one welcome post. But not today.

So I had to do some digging around the forum and I found this thread. So sorry for your loss Diane I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for your daughter to endure all those years of CRPS, my sister has something similar. Sending hugs your way!! Thank you so much for all you did for Hendrick I'll never forget it. Yes I need some tissues right now of course. :(
 
Hendrick Cuddleclaw said:
I've been active again today and I immediately noticed your absence Diane. I was replying to newbie posts and normally as I hit submit I find that you have posted several things in the time it took me to make one welcome post. But not today.

So I had to do some digging around the forum and I found this thread. So sorry for your loss Diane I cannot begin to imagine what it was like for your daughter to endure all those years of CRPS, my sister has something similar. Sending hugs your way!! Thank you so much for all you did for Hendrick I'll never forget it. Yes I need some tissues right now of course. :(
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Hi Kyle thank you so much , It just doesn't seem real to me yet, I miss her so dam much, I need more tissues too
I'll be back on the board soon, want to try to keep busy. Have been busy with my dad who has Alzheimer's, been in a nursing home for 2 years now
He doesn't even know who me ,my sister and brother are any more
Hospice will be visiting him at the nursing home daily
In the last 2 weeks he has really declined.
Makes me want to throw up seeing him like this
Sending prayers for your sister ♥
Thank you again Kyle :bighug::bighug::bighug:
@Hendrick Cuddleclaw
 
There is no pain worse on the planet than what a mother feels when their child suffers and even more when she loses her child.

I have had nearly two decades of chronic illness and pain, that no doctor or other health practitioner could solve, so I understand what it can be like to live this way and how often you just want it all to stop.

Deepest, heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Diane.
 
Stefania S said:
There is no pain worse on the planet than what a mother feels when their child suffers and even more when she loses her child.

I have had nearly two decades of chronic illness and pain, that no doctor or other health practitioner could solve, so I understand what it can be like to live this way and how often you just want it all to stop.

Deepest, heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Diane.
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Thank you @Stefania S I'm sorry that you're in pain ,praying for you :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
(((Diane))). You continue to be in our thoughts and we send lots of hugs, prayers for your entire family, and healing light.
 
Marje and Gracie said:
(((Diane))). You continue to be in our thoughts and we send lots of hugs, prayers for your entire family, and healing light.
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Hi Marje
Aww thank you Marje, I can feel all those hugs and prayers
I was on the board either yesterday or the day before checking in on all the kitties.
I'll probably be on tonight
Going out to dinner tonight with my sister, her husband and her son
God forbid I have a glass of wine, my sister thinks I'm going to start drinking lol
The last time I probably had a drink
was probably 25 years ago or more
If I would go to a wedding then I would have scotch and water and just sip it
Wine actually gives me a headache, plus I'm a light weight :p
Love you Marje
@Marje and Gracie
Kiss the kitties for me :bighug::bighug:
 
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Diane Tyler's Mom said:
Hi Marje
Aww thank you Marje, I can feel all those hugs and prayers
I was on the board either yesterday or the day before checking in on all the kitties.
I'll probably be on tonight
Going out to dinner tonight with my sister, her husband and her son
God forbid I have a glass of wine, my sister thinks I'm going to start drinking lol
The last time I probably had aMarje
k was probably 25 years ago or more
If I would go to a wedding then I would have scotch and water and just sip it
Wine actually gives me a headache, plus I'm a light weight :p
Love you Marje
@Marje and Gracie
Kiss the kitties for me :bighug::bighug:
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Love you, too, and I keep you always close in my heart. I rarely ever drink so I understand. But, occasionally, a really good Scottish small batch botanical gin and tonic is refreshing in the hot summer! Enjoy your time out with family.
 
Diane, I know something drives you to be here and help. If it helps you to be here then by all means do it but now with your dad in bad shape please don't make yourself a promise you cannot keep. Cynthia got walloped with the passing of her brother Roy, her mom, my niece Jewell's suicide attempt and then her favorite aunt Mary all in a bit over a year. This is that once in a lifetime thing where there are no rules or guidelines and until you've been there you just can't imagine.
You know we will always be here, you don't have to be. There's a reason people love you. :bighug:
 
Noah & me (GA) said:
Diane, I know something drives you to be here and help. If it helps you to be here then by all means do it but now with your dad in bad shape please don't make yourself a promise you cannot keep. Cynthia got walloped with the passing of her brother Roy, her mom, my niece Jewell's suicide attempt and then her favorite aunt Mary all in a bit over a year. This is that once in a lifetime thing where there are no rules or guidelines and until you've been there you just can't imagine.
You know we will always be here, you don't have to be. There's a reason people love you. :bighug:
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Aww thank you @Noah & me (GA)
I get what you're saying , I'll usually come on at night, keeps me busy .
Going to see my dad today with my sister
I wish Tyler was more of a living cat like his brother Perry was.
He's a loner , I just want to boot him in the butt :p
He only uses me for food lol
Sometimes he want me to hold him like a baby and then will kiss my nose , so I'll take that lol
Hope you and Cynthia have a nice day :bighug::bighug:
 
I had to post these poems that Ashley wrote, she was one hell of a writer
Just kills me to read them
Unpredictable, as the ocean
I am tumbling and oh so cross
If I were to die, this very moment
Would you take it as a loss
Here I lay, lay alone, no one else beside me
I have time, oh so much time, and there is nothing left inside me

When I dream, I dream about you
But you always pass me by
If I were bold, so bold to ask you
Would you give me the reasons why
Let me sleep, don't wake me up, even if I am crying
It's better than, to be aware, knowing I'm slowly dying

I had premonitions, as a child
A life of love was not, in the cards
Now I know, I'll die alone
I never dreamed it would, be this hard
Memories, sweet memories, they are all that I can cling to
The past is gone, I can't move on, I've nothing left to give you

Are you happy, happy to see me
Or did you think, that I had gone
To another, time and dimension
Or even to the great beyond
Remember me, for who I was, and not what you see before you
I'm not the girl, I used to be, still love me, I implore you

I hold it in, deep inside me
Then I break and scream aloud
For all you do, is criticize me
Have you ever told me, you were proud
I'm not myself, I'm someone else, one who has trouble dealing
My heart has turned, turned to stone, and I care not what you're feeling

Please don't touch me, for I am hurting
Yet I long so, to be held
Was I ever, worthy of loving
It's something time will never tell
Push me away, you cannot stay, and take care of this burden
No more than I, wish to be one, for this much I am certain

I've cried rivers, such deep rivers
Til the tears, reached waist high
Will I ever, know all the answers
Or will I forever, be asking why
I am tired, as the night, please wrap your arms around me
Or will you turn, turn your back, and leave me as you found me

Here I lay, ensconced in darkness
And I cannot, find the the light
I do not care, to have a future
Yet I see no end in sight
What will it be, it's up to me, should I wait for more tomorrows
Or close my eyes, and hold my breath, as I drown in tears of sorrows
 
My heart has been pounding as the pressures been mounting
After so many years you lose track and stop counting
I've been ignored, cast aside, wanting to press rewind
The world's gone on without me and I've been left behind

I continue to go on as my heart is breaking
The pain is too great and I can't take the aching
Someone please talk to me because the quiet is deafening
I've abandoned all hope with everyone and everything

I've had to say goodbye to all I've held dear
To exist in a world where I know nothing but fear
I sleep in an empty bed all alone
If there's really a God you'd think he'd throw me a bone

What I wouldn't do to have a second chance
At a life filled with friendship, excitement, and wild romance
But inside my body lies a vicious demon
Who keeps me in pain and keep me screaming

There are so many worse things in life than death
Like not being able to take a deep breath
What could possibly be wrong, you look fine to me
But what does pain look like, what do you expect to see

Loneliness, my what a powerful feeling
At night I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling
Dreaming of a life unlike my very own
One where I'm not terrified of being alone

I'm sending out an S.O.S.
I'm in need of help as I'm in distress
But will you even bother to answer my call
I'm going down hard and won't survive the fall

Please don't tell me God wants it this way
Or to get down on my knees and pray
He gave up on me a long time ago
I don't know which way to turn or which way to go
 
Diane Tyler's Mom said:
I had to post these poems that Ashley wrote, she was one hell of a writer
Just kills me to read them
Unpredictable, as the ocean
I am tumbling and oh so cross
If I were to die, this very moment
Would you take it as a loss
Here I lay, lay alone, no one else beside me
I have time, oh so much time, and there is nothing left inside me

When I dream, I dream about you
But you always pass me by
If I were bold, so bold to ask you
Would you give me the reasons why
Let me sleep, don't wake me up, even if I am crying
It's better than, to be aware, knowing I'm slowly dying

I had premonitions, as a child
A life of love was not, in the cards
Now I know, I'll die alone
I never dreamed it would, be this hard
Memories, sweet memories, they are all that I can cling to
The past is gone, I can't move on, I've nothing left to give you

Are you happy, happy to see me
Or did you think, that I had gone
To another, time and dimension
Or even to the great beyond
Remember me, for who I was, and not what you see before you
I'm not the girl, I used to be, still love me, I implore you

I hold it in, deep inside me
Then I break and scream aloud
For all you do, is criticize me
Have you ever told me, you were proud
I'm not myself, I'm someone else, one who has trouble dealing
My heart has turned, turned to stone, and I care not what you're feeling

Please don't touch me, for I am hurting
Yet I long so, to be held
Was I ever, worthy of loving
It's something time will never tell
Push me away, you cannot stay, and take care of this burden
No more than I, wish to be one, for this much I am certain

I've cried rivers, such deep rivers
Til the tears, reached waist high
Will I ever, know all the answers
Or will I forever, be asking why
I am tired, as the night, please wrap your arms around me
Or will you turn, turn your back, and leave me as you found me

Here I lay, ensconced in darkness
And I cannot, find the the light
I do not care, to have a future
Yet I see no end in sight
What will it be, it's up to me, should I wait for more tomorrows
Or close my eyes, and hold my breath, as I drown in tears of sorrows
Click to expand...


Oh, Diane :bighug: I'm crying now. So powerful. There are simply no words :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Diane Tyler's Mom said:
My heart has been pounding as the pressures been mounting
After so many years you lose track and stop counting
I've been ignored, cast aside, wanting to press rewind
The world's gone on without me and I've been left behind

I continue to go on as my heart is breaking
The pain is too great and I can't take the aching
Someone please talk to me because the quiet is deafening
I've abandoned all hope with everyone and everything

I've had to say goodbye to all I've held dear
To exist in a world where I know nothing but fear
I sleep in an empty bed all alone
If there's really a God you'd think he'd throw me a bone

What I wouldn't do to have a second chance
At a life filled with friendship, excitement, and wild romance
But inside my body lies a vicious demon
Who keeps me in pain and keep me screaming

There are so many worse things in life than death
Like not being able to take a deep breath
What could possibly be wrong, you look fine to me
But what does pain look like, what do you expect to see

Loneliness, my what a powerful feeling
At night I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling
Dreaming of a life unlike my very own
One where I'm not terrified of being alone

I'm sending out an S.O.S.
I'm in need of help as I'm in distress
But will you even bother to answer my call
I'm going down hard and won't survive the fall

Please don't tell me God wants it this way
Or to get down on my knees and pray
He gave up on me a long time ago
I don't know which way to turn or which way to go
Click to expand...
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Dear @Diane Tyler's Mom ,

Logged in to group after three weeks and saw this sad news. My heart is broken…. I wish you were close somewhere near my home…..I wish I could come and hug you and Tyler everyday…. I wish I could sit to dinner with you…. I wish I could drop my baby on lap and make you smile….. I wish I could ask you to come to my house whenever you need a companion….
I saw this few hours ago and I couldn’t stop thinking of you…. It’s sad we never want to see our beloved ones leave us. BUT dear Dianne she is now in a most beautiful place. NO pain… NO sadness…. She is with her Grandpa… Grandpa with his favourite first grand kid…they are with their favourite companion… she is never sad again … she is never get pain again…. Never….
 
Din said:
Dear @Diane Tyler's Mom ,

Logged in to group after three weeks and saw this sad news. My heart is broken…. I wish you were close somewhere near my home…..I wish I could come and hug you and Tyler everyday…. I wish I could sit to dinner with you…. I wish I could drop my baby on lap and make you smile….. I wish I could ask you to come to my house whenever you need a companion….
I saw this few hours ago and I couldn’t stop thinking of you…. It’s sad we never want to see our beloved ones leave us. BUT dear Dianne she is now in a most beautiful place. NO pain… NO sadness…. She is with her Grandpa… Grandpa with his favourite first grand kid…they are with their favourite companion… she is never sad again … she is never get pain again…. Never….
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Aww thank you so much Din, mybdad is still living , it's my mom that had passed years ago, I hope Ashley is with my mom now. My dad has Alzheimer's and isn't doing well at all. Thank you for your kind words. That's what I try to remember no more pain Ashley :bighug::bighug:
 
Lando demando said:
Diane you have been such a thoughtful and compassionate person here. My hope is that you receive that compassion and support back thousandfold. :bighug:
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Thank you so much Chelsea ,everyone here has been so amazing. You are all my family . I'm hanging in there. Going to visit my dad today at the nursing home.
Dam Alzheimer's, he's not doing that great the last 2 weeks, I can throw up every time I see him like that :bighug::bighug:
 
@Diane Tyler's Mom I have been away from the board for awhile and just now I've got to know the terrible news...I can't even begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss, I have no words but hugs to send your way right now. I'm sure you and your daughter shared a special bond and a mutual love that nothing can take that away from you. May your heart be on the mend soon and find the peace you long deserve my friend. xoxo
 
MISSY + Simone&MICIO (GA) said:
@Diane Tyler's Mom I have been away from the board for awhile and just now I've got to know the terrible news...I can't even begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss, I have no words but hugs to send your way right now. I'm sure you and your daughter shared a special bond and a mutual love that nothing can take that away from you. May your heart be on the mend soon and find the peace you long deserve my friend. xoxo
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Aww thank you so very much Simone ,Ashley and I were inseparable.
I'm hanging in there as best as I can .
Going to visit my dad today at the nursing home.
Dam Alzheimer's, he's not doing that great the last 2 weeks, I can throw up every time I see him like that :bighug::bighug:
Missy is looking good :cat:
 
Diane Tyler's Mom said:
Thank you so much Chelsea ,everyone here has been so amazing. You are all my family . I'm hanging in there. Going to visit my dad today at the nursing home.
Dam Alzheimer's, he's not doing that great the last 2 weeks, I can throw up every time I see him like that :bighug::bighug:
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Agreed, alzheimers is cruel. I lost someone i loved to it as well. I know that all the words of compassion dont wipe away the pain, but hopefully they make getting through the pain a bit more bearable. Take care of yourself <3
 
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