GA 12/06 Chewie AMPS 196/ +3 205/ +5.5 178 -12/7 Chewie got her wings <3

Virginie said:
After 4 hours we saw an incredibly compassionate vet, who confirmed that Chewie had serious heart issues. She heard a pretty bad gallop rhythm that wasn’t there 3 weeks ago at her last vet exam. She couldn't do anything on the spot because different types of heart diseases call for different meds, and they weren't equipped to do the needed tests there (she was the only doctor on staff). We had a difficult talk about quality of life, life expectancy, treatment cost and invasiveness... and I took Chewie home with me (her breathing was significantly better there, probably the adrenaline), and cried the whole way home. I will spoil my sassy girl all day tomorrow and call for a home euthanasia, to let her go while she's not suffering too much.

I know most of you would choose a different route and go all out trying everything. I respect that. We all love our cats to pieces, and we would do anything for them. For me, the biggest thing I can do for her is to place her quality of life first. This cat's pleasures in life have always been bossing everyone around, meowing her opinions all day long, begging for treats and curling up on our laps. She hasn't done any of those things in months. She is a shell of the cat she used to be last year. She has trouble walking because of her back injury and arthritis, she is no longer all that interested in food, she can't boss anyone around and she doesn't meow endlessly anymore. Her poor body is covered in sebaceous cysts, and she has grown at least a dozen more since we started insulin. She was so good at first for tests and now she hates them and hides... it's not a life. She has no choice in the matter, but I'm her mom, and I can do this for her. I can tear my heart in two and give her a peaceful goodbye at home, in our arms, before she is in extremis. No more needles, no more pokes, no more pain.

I'm crying my eyes out writing this. I'm going miss my little sassbucket so much. I truly thought she would live to 20. I'm angry and devastated to have had only 15 years, but it's been a beautiful and fun ride.
Thank you so much to all of you, from the bottom of my heart. Your support has truly meant the world to me as I tried to navigate this brutal illness.
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Oh hun, only you know what chewie might want. That is what is most important. Im so sorry her body did not want to go on. Hugs to you and chewie. Im glad you can guide her off in a loving way.
 
Oh Virginie, I have been following along silently on a daily basis and am so very sorry to read this post. Everything you did for Chewie was done out of love and this was the most difficult, I am sure. I include here a link(I hope this works!) by a gentleman named Gareth, he wrote this post years ago and I found it when I lost my girl Tiger to a horrible pancreatic cancer many years ago. I have an appointment in a few minutes and I am fighting crying my eyes out. I just want you to know, like all others, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious Sassy Girl, truly, we are all crying with you. Look into the sky tonight, yyou might see the special star from your girl.

Fly Free Sassy Girl and land softly when you reach the Rainbow Bridge
You are so loved


https://thecatsite.com/threads/when-the-moment-comes.237066/
 
Karen and Chispa said:
I am so, so, so sorry, Virginie. I am crying too as I write this, both for you and Chewie and for my own soul-cat Chulo, for whom I had to make the same terrible decision, exactly one year ago today (he had oral squamous cell carcinoma, aggressive and untreatable and very painful). So many times over the past year I have wondered, Did I let him go too soon? Was there anything else we should or could have done? And the answer is always a very clear No. Like you, I made the decision to tear my own heart in two to spare him another day of pain. It's been a small but important comfort on the long path toward healing.

I'll be thinking of you as you navigate this very sad and difficult time.
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Wendy&Neko said:
For Neko it was six years today. :(

Wise words Karen. Better a day too soon than too late.
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Three exceptional little furry souls, gone on the same day... my poor torn heart goes out to both of you too. I can only hope the memories of Chulo and Neko bring you more smiles than tears.
We are lucky we were able to give our babies this grace, to offer them a peaceful exit with us. Not everyone is so lucky.

I thought I would second guess myself, I thought I would have regrets, but I have none. She was so tired, it was so hard for her to breathe. And she was hanging on, just for me. Because she loved me the best way she knew how. I couldn't let her go on like this, not after all the love and joy she gave me, not to my faithful friend. In the end she fell asleep in minutes, and after the second injection she was gone in less than a minutes. She was so tired, so ready. I cradled her in my arms and kissed her little face and cried many tears, and now I wait for her to send me a sign that she has arrived.

I can't stop crying, and crying again as I read your wonderful messages. Much love and hugs to all of you who have lost best friends, and all of you who know you will one day. It's the price to pay for the privilege of sharing our lives with these little creatures magically full of so much personality. But for what is grief, if not love persevering?
 
Angela & Cleo said:
Everytime I see a bird feeder now I think of Chewie. Love her today like you always have and you always will:bighug::bighug::bighug:
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As dbf and I were sitting on the couch this morning reminiscing about her golden days and her antics and love for troublemaking, the very first bird we have ever seen at that birdfeeder landed on it. Stared at us, picked up a seed, and flew off.
Zero birds had been using it since we installed it, we were so disappointed. The timing felt like a sign.
 
Tiger(GA) and Ruth said:
Oh Virginie, I have been following along silently on a daily basis and am so very sorry to read this post. Everything you did for Chewie was done out of love and this was the most difficult, I am sure. I include here a link(I hope this works!) by a gentleman named Gareth, he wrote this post years ago and I found it when I lost my girl Tiger to a horrible pancreatic cancer many years ago. I have an appointment in a few minutes and I am fighting crying my eyes out. I just want you to know, like all others, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious Sassy Girl, truly, we are all crying with you. Look into the sky tonight, yyou might see the special star from your girl.

Fly Free Sassy Girl and land softly when you reach the Rainbow Bridge
You are so loved


https://thecatsite.com/threads/when-the-moment-comes.237066/
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So sorry for your loss of precious Tiger. I am sure she is watching over you today as every day. I am waiting for Chew to send me a sign. I miss her so much already, I see her little face everywhere.

Thank you for this link. I read it several times today, it is so comforting. The more we love, the more we hurt. It's an honor to have loved and been loved so much that our hearts bleed when they leave us.
 
Virginie said:
After 4 hours we saw an incredibly compassionate vet, who confirmed that Chewie had serious heart issues. She heard a pretty bad gallop rhythm that wasn’t there 3 weeks ago at her last vet exam. She couldn't do anything on the spot because different types of heart diseases call for different meds, and they weren't equipped to do the needed tests there (she was the only doctor on staff). We had a difficult talk about quality of life, life expectancy, treatment cost and invasiveness... and I took Chewie home with me (her breathing was significantly better there, probably the adrenaline), and cried the whole way home. I will spoil my sassy girl all day tomorrow and call for a home euthanasia, to let her go while she's not suffering too much.

I know most of you would choose a different route and go all out trying everything. I respect that. We all love our cats to pieces, and we would do anything for them. For me, the biggest thing I can do for her is to place her quality of life first. This cat's pleasures in life have always been bossing everyone around, meowing her opinions all day long, begging for treats and curling up on our laps. She hasn't done any of those things in months. She is a shell of the cat she used to be last year. She has trouble walking because of her back injury and arthritis, she is no longer all that interested in food, she can't boss anyone around and she doesn't meow endlessly anymore. Her poor body is covered in sebaceous cysts, and she has grown at least a dozen more since we started insulin. She was so good at first for tests and now she hates them and hides... it's not a life. She has no choice in the matter, but I'm her mom, and I can do this for her. I can tear my heart in two and give her a peaceful goodbye at home, in our arms, before she is in extremis. No more needles, no more pokes, no more pain.

I'm crying my eyes out writing this. I'm going miss my little sassbucket so much. I truly thought she would live to 20. I'm angry and devastated to have had only 15 years, but it's been a beautiful and fun ride.
Thank you so much to all of you, from the bottom of my heart. Your support has truly meant the world to me as I tried to navigate this brutal illness.
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I’m so so sorry. You’re making the right call. You’ve gone above and beyond the call here in saving her. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now.

But you have done everything right. You did nothing wrong whatsoever. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.
 
Virginie - I am so sorry this day had to come so soon. :bighug::bighug::bighug: I'm glad you had no regrets, neither did I. You released her from her acro body, to be a kitten again and play at the Rainbow Bridge. Neko and many other of our GA kitties will greet her, and she can in turn boss them around. Whether or not you believe, it's a great image to think about, that you will meet her again with Chewie in her whole body.
Tonight is the full moon. There will be an extra bright twinkling star in the sky beside it tonight, who's name is Chewie.cat_wings>o

Take care of yourself this next while. I know you will be exhausted after all you have been through the last while. It's an emotionally and physically demanding time.
 
Wendy&Neko said:
Virginie - I am so sorry this day had to come so soon. :bighug::bighug::bighug: I'm glad you had no regrets, neither did I. You released her from her acro body, to be a kitten again and play at the Rainbow Bridge. Neko and many other of our GA kitties will greet her, and she can in turn boss them around. Whether or not you believe, it's a great image to think about, that you will meet her again with Chewie in her whole body.
Tonight is the full moon. There will be an extra bright twinkling star in the sky beside it tonight, who's name is Chewie.cat_wings>o

Take care of yourself this next while. I know you will be exhausted after all you have been through the last while. It's an emotionally and physically demanding time.
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It is comforting to imagine all the departed kitties hanging out together, back to the mysterious source that created their adorable bodies and stuffed them full of those bigger than life personalities - I am not a religious person, but I like to believe all energy is borrowed and returned, and we will all be together in the end. It’s just so hard to say goodbye to the physical incarnation of our friends.

I do find myself exhausted physically and emotionally, and don’t know what to do with myself. I put away all the diabetes supplies, it hurt too much to look at them, but now with the strict routine of the past 4 months gone, the day feels empty.

Her brother Wicket, who normally is not a lap cat, came to my desk this afternoon and climbed into my arms. He remained there for an hour, and I gave up on working and moved to the couch, he didn’t budge. Stayed in my arms my over two hours, had to have DBF lure him with kibble so I could let some blood back into my legs. He has been glued to me all day. It breaks my heart and conforts me at the same time.

You know though, I stepped outside to look at the moon and there was a star shining close to it <3
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
It is comforting to imagine all the departed kitties hanging out together, back to the mysterious source that created their adorable bodies and stuffed them full of those bigger than life personalities - I am not a religious person, but I like to believe all energy is borrowed and returned, and we will all be together in the end. It’s just so hard to say goodbye to the physical incarnation of our friends.

I do find myself exhausted physically and emotionally, and don’t know what to do with myself. I put away all the diabetes supplies, it hurt too much to look at them, but now with the strict routine of the past 4 months gone, the day feels empty.

Her brother Wicket, who normally is not a lap cat, came to my desk this afternoon and climbed into my arms. He remained there for an hour, and I gave up on working and moved to the couch, he didn’t budge. Stayed in my arms my over two hours, had to have DBF lure him with kibble so I could let some blood back into my legs. He has been glued to me all day. It breaks my heart and conforts me at the same time.

You know though, I stepped outside to look at the moon and there was a star shining close to it <3
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I’m also not religious per se. I think there’s so much about the universe and our place in it that we don’t and can’t currently understand. I think in a similar way to you. I believe that someday, somehow, i’ll get to see Theo again. Might not be in a way that i can ever understand while i’m here, but i know i will.

Again; i’m so sorry. You did the right thing. Don’t ever doubt that.
 
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Tiger(GA) and Ruth said:
Oh Virginie, I have been following along silently on a daily basis and am so very sorry to read this post. Everything you did for Chewie was done out of love and this was the most difficult, I am sure. I include here a link(I hope this works!) by a gentleman named Gareth, he wrote this post years ago and I found it when I lost my girl Tiger to a horrible pancreatic cancer many years ago. I have an appointment in a few minutes and I am fighting crying my eyes out. I just want you to know, like all others, I am so sorry for your loss of your precious Sassy Girl, truly, we are all crying with you. Look into the sky tonight, yyou might see the special star from your girl.

Fly Free Sassy Girl and land softly when you reach the Rainbow Bridge
You are so loved


https://thecatsite.com/threads/when-the-moment-comes.237066/
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@Tiger(GA) and Ruth Thank you for the link to this beautiful essay. It really helped me today.

Thinking of you, Virginie, and sending many hugs. Chispa is saying special kitty prayers for angel Chewie. :bighug::bighug::cat::rb_icon::cat::bighug::bighug:
 
Virginie I am crying this morning with you. Chewie will always be in your heart.
I bet you she is chasing butterflies right now with all of the other kitties who have met her at the bridge. I bet you they are having a smorgasbord of all their favorite foods. My heart truly goes out to you ♥ Please take care of yourself.
Chewie you will be missed and were loved ,don't forget to visit your mama and let her know you are ok.:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thinking of you this morning, Virginie. For some time after Chulo left, I found that it got harder as the reality sank in. One thing that saved me was having music on in the background throughout the day (I like the "coffee shop jazz" playlists on YouTube, but there's something for everyone) -- it really helped to keep the empty space from filling up 24/7 with despair.

I am so glad Chewie sent you a star to let you know she is ok.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
You all can't (or actually I'm sure you can) imagine how much comfort I'm getting from all your messages... they send me into a fresh bout of sobbing every time, but that's good. I have so much sobbing to do. I am so sorry it's bringing so many of you to tears too, but am grateful for this offering of your love and compassion - it's incredible that my little Chew's story is reaching so many hearts :bighug::bighug::bighug:

This first morning with no warming up a pill bottle, no testing, no insulin... just feeding my other 3, took about 2 minutes. It was so strange. The loss of our schedule and all this time we spent together in a day is very unsettling. Humans like cats are creatures of habit, it's going to take a while to learn new patterns. In the meantime, just hanging on...

chuckstables said:
I believe that someday, somehow, i’ll get to see Theo again. Might not be in a way that i can ever understand while i’m here, but i know i will.
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I love this. We are so tied to our physical existence, that's all we know after all. It's such a comfort thinking that we will all get back to some other form of being some day, where we will be reunited with all our loved ones, that we can't really grasp yet with our limited human senses.

Amy & Herman said:
Sending much love, I’m so sorry. It’s the hardest decision to make but take comfort in knowing it was the right one and sweet Chewie can rest easy now and watch you from above and live forever in your heart…in all our hearts. :bighug:
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Thanks Amy :bighug: She truly was a special soul

Diane Tyler's Mom said:
Chewie you will be missed and were loved ,don't forget to visit your mama and let her know you are ok.:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Karen and Chispa said:
Thinking of you this morning, Virginie. For some time after Chulo left, I found that it got harder as the reality sank in. One thing that saved me was having music on in the background throughout the day (I like the "coffee shop jazz" playlists on YouTube, but there's something for everyone) -- it really helped to keep the empty space from filling up 24/7 with despair.

I am so glad Chewie sent you a star to let you know she is ok.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thank you so much :bighug: You're so right @Karen and Chispa, every new little thing, every spot where I expect her to be, gives me a fresh pang of grief. I'm trying to work but my brain can't do anything but replay memories of her. It's crazy how empty and unimportant everything else seems. Except for Chewie's brother Wicket, who is sooo close to me and has been following me everywhere since she left, I have a hard time connecting with my other two kitties. Chewie was such a human cat - she would mwack in response to eye contact, to every question or just when you walked into a room... she was so opinionated and we had long conversations all the time. The house seems so quiet without her. So I keep returning to happy memories of when she was healthy and bossy and loud, and had to sleep with us in a room with the door closed to prevent her bullying other cats for fun in the middle of the night. Some day I will smile more than I cry thinking of her. I'm going to get that picture of her in my profile framed and on my desk, that way I can gaze at her perfect little face all day.

I'm so sorry @Hendrick Cuddleclaw you really were our first cheerleader here and were always so supportive. You helped us so much get set up and progress in our journey. Always a kind word, I am so thankful for your support :bighug: I do hope you had a lovely birthday.
 
Also I since learned that the star next to the moon last night was Mars, and it was the closest to Earth it had been in years, and won't be again in this position of "opposition" until 2025. It was a very cloudy night, and by the time DBF came home, you couldn't see the moon at all, but those few minutes I spent on the porch alone an hour before he came home, the wind was blowing the clouds clear and I had such a lovely view. Thank you for that, Chewie-girl ♥ ♥ ♥
 
I am so sorry for your loss. When we had to let Fafa go, I felt a big chunk of my heart was emptied out, and the last sight of Fafa had been ghosting in my eyes for some time. It is always a extremely difficult time for every pet owner who loves their fur babies and has to do the best decision for them. Please take care of yourself. :bighug::rb_icon:
 
Jackie and Biggie said:
I’m so sorry and crying for you now, too. You have so much wisdom and kindness in appreciating what a gift it is to have them and care for them for however long we do. But it’s still hard and never long enough. I know you will find that sign from Chewie. She will always be with you. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thank you Jackie you're so kind. I really can't express in words how much this means :bighug:
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
You all can't (or actually I'm sure you can) imagine how much comfort I'm getting from all your messages... they send me into a fresh bout of sobbing every time, but that's good. I have so much sobbing to do. I am so sorry it's bringing so many of you to tears too, but am grateful for this offering of your love and compassion - it's incredible that my little Chew's story is reaching so many hearts :bighug::bighug::bighug:

This first morning with no warming up a pill bottle, no testing, no insulin... just feeding my other 3, took about 2 minutes. It was so strange. The loss of our schedule and all this time we spent together in a day is very unsettling. Humans like cats are creatures of habit, it's going to take a while to learn new patterns. In the meantime, just hanging on...


I love this. We are so tied to our physical existence, that's all we know after all. It's such a comfort thinking that we will all get back to some other form of being some day, where we will be reunited with all our loved ones, that we can't really grasp yet with our limited human senses.


Thanks Amy :bighug: She truly was a special soul





Thank you so much :bighug: You're so right @Karen and Chispa, every new little thing, every spot where I expect her to be, gives me a fresh pang of grief. I'm trying to work but my brain can't do anything but replay memories of her. It's crazy how empty and unimportant everything else seems. Except for Chewie's brother Wicket, who is sooo close to me and has been following me everywhere since she left, I have a hard time connecting with my other two kitties. Chewie was such a human cat - she would mwack in response to eye contact, to every question or just when you walked into a room... she was so opinionated and we had long conversations all the time. The house seems so quiet without her. So I keep returning to happy memories of when she was healthy and bossy and loud, and had to sleep with us in a room with the door closed to prevent her bullying other cats for fun in the middle of the night. Some day I will smile more than I cry thinking of her. I'm going to get that picture of her in my profile framed and on my desk, that way I can gaze at her perfect little face all day.

I'm so sorry @Hendrick Cuddleclaw you really were our first cheerleader here and were always so supportive. You helped us so much get set up and progress in our journey. Always a kind word, I am so thankful for your support :bighug: I do hope you had a lovely birthday.
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Virginie @ Virginie & Chewie(GA), I've been thinking so much about you. I know how hard it has to be, trying to work when your loss is so fresh and raw. My heart goes out to you, but I came back to say a few more things. Those overwhelming waves of tears? A wise person told me, it's like an ocean wave, trying to knock you down. But rather than try to avoid it, let yourself feel it and go with it. You don't get "Over" grief, you get through it and it takes lots and lots of time. (I sometimes want to punch people who have said to me, Why aren't you over it yet?) Your tears? That just shows how deep your love for Chewie was!!! BOLO also, one day, you will see a Rainbow, this I feel was another sign from the Rainbow Bridge. I had to wait months for mine, it was summer after all and no rainfall. :rolleyes: But once I saw that rainbow, I knew my Tiger was really safe and happy and waiting for me to be okay with it. Much love to you, feel the warmth of this forum and know, we are truly all crying with you. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Tiger(GA) and Ruth said:
Virginie @ Virginie & Chewie(GA), I've been thinking so much about you. I know how hard it has to be, trying to work when your loss is so fresh and raw. My heart goes out to you, but I came back to say a few more things. Those overwhelming waves of tears? A wise person told me, it's like an ocean wave, trying to knock you down. But rather than try to avoid it, let yourself feel it and go with it. You don't get "Over" grief, you get through it and it takes lots and lots of time. (I sometimes want to punch people who have said to me, Why aren't you over it yet?) Your tears? That just shows how deep your love for Chewie was!!! BOLO also, one day, you will see a Rainbow, this I feel was another sign from the Rainbow Bridge. I had to wait months for mine, it was summer after all and no rainfall. :rolleyes: But once I saw that rainbow, I knew my Tiger was really safe and happy and waiting for me to be okay with it. Much love to you, feel the warmth of this forum and know, we are truly all crying with you. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thank you so much @Tiger(GA) and Ruth - this forum truly has been such an amazing source of comfort and support, and I'm so touched by everyone's outpouring of love. The day of leaving her was just raw pain, the first day without her was fresh sorrow at every turn, but last night I spent a lot of time looking at old photos where she was in all her sassy and fluffy glory, and finally found some warmth and smiles. I asked her to help me find peace. And this morning I woke up a little less heavy. Managed to spend the entire morning without crying. She sent me that same one bird (a tufted titmouse) at the feeder, who came only once (that I could see) in the entire morning, while I was glancing at it ♥ I ordered a lovely frame to put my favorite picture of her on my desk. I'm crying now, after watching a bunch of old videos of her, but I'm so grateful I have those. It feels so good to see her doing the silliest things, and to hear her again. I can almost feel her little face and fluffy scruff in my hands.

I couldn't agree more with this wise person... the tears come and go, and you have to just go with it. It's no good trying to hold them in. I unfortunately had recent practice with this when I lost my very beloved grandmother in 2020. I hope Chewie found her and is keeping her company.

It's so lovely that Tiger sent you this unmistakable sign that he was okay, showing you you could be okay too. They love us so much, they surely wouldn't want us to stay walled in sorrow forever. I read this yesterday, and it did help me think of her with a smile. I hope soon, I can think of how much we loved each other without dissolving in tears. Grief will decide, it certainly has its own timeline. Hope this little poem helps you too. Big hugs to you and Tiger :bighug::bighug::bighug:

https://www.animalcommunicating.com/it-happened-again-today-dear-human/
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
Also I since learned that the star next to the moon last night was Mars, and it was the closest to Earth it had been in years, and won't be again in this position of "opposition" until 2025. It was a very cloudy night, and by the time DBF came home, you couldn't see the moon at all, but those few minutes I spent on the porch alone an hour before he came home, the wind was blowing the clouds clear and I had such a lovely view. Thank you for that, Chewie-girl ♥ ♥ ♥
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Mars is the planet of might and energy and passion and power- it sounds like this was Chewie’s planet. How precious that she cleared the clouds to send you a message and you were attuned enough to receive it. cat_wings>o:bighug:

While I was looking for this message in the forum just now I saw that over 450 people have viewed at this message…you and Chewie have touched so many people’s lives! I’ve admired your dedication and looked forward to your humor as so many others have. I love your new pic of Chewie. Her eyes look so soulful and her face is so beautiful.
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
Also wanted to say that I'm rooting for all the FDMB kitties and their devoted caregivers :bighug: I will be back to cheer all of you on in a little while, when it's not so painful. Take good care of yourselves, give all of your babies a little smooch for me, and keep hunting those greens!
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Aww you have always been such a great cheerleader to us! I look forward to seeing you when you are feeling better. Take time to take care of yourself. :bighug:
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl Chewie. My heart breaks for you we don't get enough time with our babies. You gave her a good long life & did everything you could for her. My thoughts & prayers are with you :rb_icon::bighug:
 
I’m so sorry Virginie. I just saw this. My heart really hurts for you. It really showed how much you cared for Chewie and she knew that. You did a fantastic job. It is a lot to care for an acro kitty I know, not to mention when other conditions arise most likely from the acromegaly. It’s just not fair for our sweet fur babies to go through it. I know you will miss her, but keep the sweet memories of her in your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you.:bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
Thank you so much @Tiger(GA) and Ruth - this forum truly has been such an amazing source of comfort and support, and I'm so touched by everyone's outpouring of love. The day of leaving her was just raw pain, the first day without her was fresh sorrow at every turn, but last night I spent a lot of time looking at old photos where she was in all her sassy and fluffy glory, and finally found some warmth and smiles. I asked her to help me find peace. And this morning I woke up a little less heavy. Managed to spend the entire morning without crying. She sent me that same one bird (a tufted titmouse) at the feeder, who came only once (that I could see) in the entire morning, while I was glancing at it ♥ I ordered a lovely frame to put my favorite picture of her on my desk. I'm crying now, after watching a bunch of old videos of her, but I'm so grateful I have those. It feels so good to see her doing the silliest things, and to hear her again. I can almost feel her little face and fluffy scruff in my hands.

I couldn't agree more with this wise person... the tears come and go, and you have to just go with it. It's no good trying to hold them in. I unfortunately had recent practice with this when I lost my very beloved grandmother in 2020. I hope Chewie found her and is keeping her company.

It's so lovely that Tiger sent you this unmistakable sign that he was okay, showing you you could be okay too. They love us so much, they surely wouldn't want us to stay walled in sorrow forever. I read this yesterday, and it did help me think of her with a smile. I hope soon, I can think of how much we loved each other without dissolving in tears. Grief will decide, it certainly has its own timeline. Hope this little poem helps you too. Big hugs to you and Tiger :bighug::bighug::bighug:

https://www.animalcommunicating.com/it-happened-again-today-dear-human/
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Last year, before we adopted Whiskey, our girl cat Saskia passed in the early morning hours. Over the rest of day, I searched for her, although I knew she wasn't with us anymore (we had a weird bond, and I could 'search' for her in my mind and call her home...this time I couldn't feel the mental tug of her response).

Very very very early the next morning, I had the most real dream that she jumped on the bed and came to me the way she had always done in the mornings. I could feel her body, her fur and smell her quite distinctly. The joy she felt to see me, and me her remains with me to this day. Later that morning I think she led us to where her body was because we found her quite fast.

But, I am sure that very real dream was her making it home for one last time.
 
@stannarp this is a beautiful story, the idea of your girl coming home to check on you made me tear up cat_wings>o:rb_icon::bighug:

Thank you @Jackie and Biggie @cecile & bella @Chrispooky12 @Max & Lori - one day at a time… it’s not getting any easier but at least I’m no longer crying all day long.

Jackie and Biggie said:
Mars is the planet of might and energy and passion and power- it sounds like this was Chewie’s planet. How precious that she cleared the clouds to send you a message and you were attuned enough to receive it. cat_wings>o:bighug:
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Haha it certainly was her planet… thanks again for your kind words, I’m going to frame that picture, it feels like she’s right in front of me when I look at it.
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
@stannarp this is a beautiful story, the idea of your girl coming home to check on you made me tear up cat_wings>o:rb_icon::bighug:

Thank you @Jackie and Biggie @cecile & bella @Chrispooky12 @Max & Lori - one day at a time… it’s not getting any easier but at least I’m no longer crying all day long.



Haha it certainly was her planet… thanks again for your kind words, I’m going to frame that picture, it feels like she’s right in front of me when I look at it.
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I really think they do come to check on us way more often than we realize. It is the first and only time I've ever experienced it though, but that may also be due to the unique connection Saskia and I had.
 
Virginie & Chewie (GA) said:
@stannarp this is a beautiful story, the idea of your girl coming home to check on you made me tear up cat_wings>o:rb_icon::bighug:

Thank you @Jackie and Biggie @cecile & bella @Chrispooky12 @Max & Lori - one day at a time… it’s not getting any easier but at least I’m no longer crying all day long.



Haha it certainly was her planet… thanks again for your kind words, I’m going to frame that picture, it feels like she’s right in front of me when I look at it.
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I am so late to this. Eddie and Blue have so narrowed my focus but, gosh, I am so sorry about Chewie and I just know how your love carried her all the way to that star. It may be late, but I'm sending you best thoughts as only can come from loving these little cats.
 
tiffmaxee said:
I’m just now reading of your loss. I lost Max quickly in the same way. You gave that one last gift at the right time. Sending lots of hugs your way. :bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
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Thanks Elise :bighug: It's been a month, and I still miss her like crazy, but I'm glad we helped her go when we did. It's a small mercy for our babies that they left quickly, without lingering in pain.
Now I do my best to be extra present with my remaining 3, which are all 15-16.
 
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