7/30 Max AMPS 528 +3 373 +6 212 +9 160 PMPS 176 +3 305

Max & Lori

Max & Lori

Member Since 2021
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https://felinediabetes.com/FDMB/thr...7-73-8-65-9-107-pmps-141.266327/#post-2981061
Happy Caturday. Not a good start at all here for us. I will give it a go today and try posting again. I made a mistake by not keeping the reduction to 5.5. Maybe too much insulin and big bouncing. It’s hard to see him in high numbers. He looks like he feels horrible when it’s high. I’m so confused about how before when he was on higher doses, he didn’t bounce as long when we were seeing all of that pretty green and blue at the beginning of the month and end of last month. At that time, I was finally feeling like we were getting somewhere. Then as the numbers started to climb higher, I started to question whether I might be taking reductions too quickly, and maybe I should give him a second chance before decreasing. So I tried that, and I don’t think that works either. So here we are in the black. I’m so seriously burned out. I understand that I need to get away, maybe for a whole day and not just a few hours. Heck a whole week would be good. I have other commitments around home to take care of too so I just can’t do that right now. I stopped posting here every day because I was feeling that maybe most everyone else was burned out with us too. I sound needy and don’t like it either. I need this forum and you guys though. It’s too hard going at this alone whether I’m here or not. I always appreciate the ones of you who take time out to answer my questions, give me advice, or just make a comment of encouragement. It helps to be reminded that someone else is there who is going through or has gone through the same. Thanks for reading and have a good day. I seriously hope it gets better for Max, and our dog Tank too (he has a benign tumor on his front shoulder that’s been removed and now has come back. It’s painful for him so that’s hard to watch too.)
 
I hope that I'm not speaking out of turn. I feel compelled to post a response. I'm only 7 months into this FD journey and was in full denial about how to handle it for months and blindly followed (not so great) Vet advice. It wasn't until coming here and lurking and reading journeys such as yours and Max that I felt like 'I can do this'. I empathize with being burnt out. I think we all feel that way at some point. But...
BECAUSE of caregivers such as yourself, I feel empowered to do more.
BECAUSE of the HONESTY and SINCERETY in your posts, my inner thoughts and fears are validated.
I have no idea what I'm doing with my Cleo. Her patterns change at the drop of a hat. Just when I think we're making progress...well you know. And BECAUSE you do know, I know I'm not alone.
So THANK YOU for being diligent, sincere, strong and honest. And Thank You for giving me strength.
 
@Angela & Cleo wow thank you so much for that. That makes me feel so happy that at least I’ve encouraged someone else through this journey. :bighug::bighug::bighug: You are definitely not speaking out of term and I wish more people would speak up. It is unbelievably difficult to care for these diabetic cats, especially one with multiple conditions. I took early retirement a little over a year ago hoping to travel and do fun things. I came from a long profession as a nurse practitioner and in my field of obstetrics I was pretty much used to doing interventions that helped people most of the time. Most of the time I was on my own with decision making as I was caring for someone and their unborn child. It was a good career. Now here I am trying to take care of Max, and I’m almost always clueless because it’s one step forward and two steps back a lot of times. That’s hard to get used to. He has made big progress though. You are also doing a wonderful job with Cleo. This is a good place to be and even lurking other condos helps to encourage and give ideas, but it may not always apply to your cat. With Max, he’s a zebra in a barn full of horses… not your typical diabetic cat (with acromegaly, etc). I will be happy to help you as much as I can with Cleo, even if it’s only to encourage, because we all need that. I read a quote on FB this morning that I’ve seen many times but it just hit me hard today. “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Dr Seuss. I decided that I just have to put on my big girl panties and keep on going. Your comments absolutely reassured me, so thank you Angela. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet Cleo.:bighug::bighug::bighug: Cleo is a beautiful kitty by the way!!!
 
I'm not burned out on you, Lori. Your condos teach and encourage me in the process. Please be sure to take care of yourself all you can. Sometimes it is like they say on airplanes--put your oxygen mask on yourself first, then on the child, because if you do not have oxygen, you won't be able to help them at all.
 
Taking care of Max really requires you to take care of you too. :bighug::bighug: Not only is Max a zebra, he's one of the few with a golden halter on him (acrocat that had SRT). When I was at my worst after SRT, staring at high numbers after a late night of low numbers, I felt like a zombie, wondering why I was doing this. Then Neko would go over to the rug where her toys were, and start playing with her catnip toys. And I'd remember why I was doing it. She was so much better than when she started the diabetes journey. So think back to when Max was first diagnosed, and how he was feeling then. I read your posts of him enjoying life again, sounds to me like life is much better for him.

Lori, you are a great cat mom to Max. All your life you've been in a caring profession and been an in charge kind of person knowing what to do. Having an acrocat, and especially one that had SRT that is working, means that you aren't in control in the way that you are used to. Things are a lot less deterministic. You have to learn to "go with the flow". Don't bother second guessing those dosing decisions, just move forward. He didn't drop into dangerous numbers on 6 units, so it all turned out OK.

I like the way he's ditched that black and found his blues again so quickly. :cool: Try not to let those very temporary high numbers bother you. Hard to do, I know.
 
Wendy&Neko said:
So think back to when Max was first diagnosed, and how he was feeling then. I read your posts of him enjoying life again, sounds to me like life is much better for him.
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Thank you for reminding me of that Wendy. He is 95% better than he was and that makes me so happy. Like you said, I've got to learn to go with the flow. I am a control freak. My job taught me that I had to be. This can't be controlled, you are right. I wish I wasn't such a "fixer." I'm like that with my kids and grandkids too, but they are easier to help. I've done and am doing all that I can for him. He's worth it all as he's a big part of our family. Thanks for your reassurance and as always thanks for sharing your experiences with Neko. I can see how important she was to you too and it's so awesome that you have the heart to share that to help so many other cats and their caregivers. I appreciate you more than you can know.:bighug: I'm so glad he ditched that black too. He saw my excitement about that and looked at me like "what's wrong with you lady." Poor guy has to put up with my crazy self lol.
 
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