Overwhelmed

[SaraMV]

Does anyone else feel this way? It's one step forward and five steps back. I'm getting where I don't even want to get out of my bed in the morning because I don't want to face the day. Taz has stated to throw up undigested food at the end of his PM cycles. I know it's time for an insulin increase but I don't know if he's in a bounce and will be breaking it, or if he's just high because he isn't feeling well. I'm not following TR as well as I should be because as long as he's close to normal range, I'm just trying to survive these bouts of pancreatitis he has while dealing with other daily life. I just want to make the pancreatitis stop. I'm desperate. He gets over it, feels good for a few days, and then it comes right back!

Sorry. I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm stressed to the breaking point and I feel bad about feeling that way.

 

[PH&MonkeyPenPenFaFaTiger]

It happens. Caring for sick cat is difficult, and more difficult for people who love their cat deeply. I often lack the energy to take the best immediate actions for my cats when they are sick, probably because I don't want to face it. Once I almost mentally broke because of bad news and emotions such as guilt. I think this is just part of being a human who need to face love and loss. To make myself not too overwhelmed I am training myself to be relaxed under stress but at the same time have reliable performance. I imagine myself to be like an CEO, athlete or surgeon, need to be cool and focused under extreme stress, so I have enough energy to take action to help my cats.

My thoughts are with you. My advice is to explore stress-reduction technique and reflect more about the relationship between you and your cat. Talking here is very helpful.

 

[Sugar’s Mama]

Just want to say that you are doing an excellent job just by being here! I know so many people that would have just taken the symptoms of diabetes as 'normal' aging and let their cats starve to death. I feel so bad when I have to skip a shot because of a low PS number because I have plans to be out after. I wish I could always be home to monitor but I already cancelled all of our usual beach weekends for the summer so need to have some fun in the 11 hours between doses!

 

[Max and Brooke]

Caring for a pet with a chronic illness is mentally and emotionally exhausting when everything is in holding pattern and that gets ramped x100 when they have flair ups. Then add the stress of daily life into the mix and life becomes super overwhelming, I would argue you’re not feeling sorry for yourself, you’re someone stressed who loves their pet and wants them to feel better and regain some stability and peace in your day.

Like Sugar’s Mama said, your doing great by being here and reaching out and I’ll add that it’s perfectly ok to simplify things to keep your head above water. So, and this might be a controversial opinion but it’s based on my lived experience as a nurse, caretaker, and pet owner of a medically complex Dane and now a diabetic cat, if it’s a challenge dealing with the pancreatitis and tightly regulating blood sugars, it’s ok to prioritize the pancreatitis while keeping the diabetes side in maintenance mode if Taz is relatively stable diabetes wise.

When it comes to managing health problems, especially chronic ones, sometimes trying to do too much all at once to reach an ideal state can backfire because when one thing gets tweaked, another gets thrown off balance and so on. (Of course, you know Taz’s history best so if both are an immediate priority then disregard this). I mention this because sometimes health goals, pet and human, become zoned in on “getting back to normal as soon as possible” when taking baby steps by finding what works to make it through one day without major incident, then trying to make it through two days, and so on might be less overwhelming.

 

[Howiesmom]

My Howie doesn’t have pancreatitis but does have acromegaly. Two very different conditions but I know how you feel about being so overwhelmed and just wanting to not deal with it as there is so much to learn and do. Please hang in there and know that your Taz loves you for everything you’re trying to do for him. You’re not feeling sorry for yourself as everyone else has said. Take deep breaths and count to 10. You’ve got this!

 

[Hendrick Cuddleclaw]

sorry to hear you are struggling mentally and emotionally Sara and I totally get it. Dealing with an unwell kitty is a big strain on your mental state and can be so frustrating, thinking there is improvement and then when there is a setback.

Sending you well wishes and good thoughts. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

When Noah was here I was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia. Don't bother looking it up. What it meant was some nights I had a five minute warning to grab my ice bags, swallow 6mg of Lorazepam, crawl up the stairs and into bed without giving Noah his PM shot. The point is I don't have it worse than you, we're all in the same leaky boat and it may take a long time to get better but it will happen.
Sara, I followed you for a good reason. You're intuitive, honest and wouldn't be here if you didn't care. Life isn't always fair but you have friends here you can turn to even in the darkest moments. Better days are yet to come.

 

[SaraMV]

My thoughts are with you. My advice is to explore stress-reduction technique and reflect more about the relationship between you and your cat. Talking here is very helpful.

I really need to find a relaxation method. I usually read but I've been having a hard time focusing on the words lately.

I wish I could always be home to monitor but I already cancelled all of our usual beach weekends for the summer so need to have some fun in the 11 hours between doses!

I think a lot of the problem is that I'm constantly home right now. We haven't really went anywhere to "get away" and unwind for a bit, and then I feel really guilty because I wish I was somewhere else. But then, I also want to spend every moment that I can with Taz, while i can. I'm jealous of my husband who is able to be out of the house for 12 hours each day working and not stressing over Taz.

Caring for a pet with a chronic illness is mentally and emotionally exhausting when everything is in holding pattern and that gets ramped x100 when they have flair ups. Then add the stress of daily life into the mix and life becomes super overwhelming, I would argue you’re not feeling sorry for yourself, you’re someone stressed who loves their pet and wants them to feel better and regain some stability and peace in your day.

Like Sugar’s Mama said, your doing great by being here and reaching out and I’ll add that it’s perfectly ok to simplify things to keep your head above water. So, and this might be a controversial opinion but it’s based on my lived experience as a nurse, caretaker, and pet owner of a medically complex Dane and now a diabetic cat, if it’s a challenge dealing with the pancreatitis and tightly regulating blood sugars, it’s ok to prioritize the pancreatitis while keeping the diabetes side in maintenance mode if Taz is relatively stable diabetes wise.

When it comes to managing health problems, especially chronic ones, sometimes trying to do too much all at once to reach an ideal state can backfire because when one thing gets tweaked, another gets thrown off balance and so on. (Of course, you know Taz’s history best so if both are an immediate priority then disregard this). I mention this because sometimes health goals, pet and human, become zoned in on “getting back to normal as soon as possible” when taking baby steps by finding what works to make it through one day without major incident, then trying to make it through two days, and so on might be less overwhelming.

I was standing outside when I read your response and it made me start crying. I feel so guilty because I know I should be focusing on his insulin and getting him to perfect numbers, but right now I'm just trying to survive the pancreatitis episodes. We went a wonderful 3 months without any flare ups, but now they're back with a vengeance. I'm scared to push the insulin numbers too far because I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to hypo after a bounce. I'm already sleep deprived and an emotional wreck, and I'm getting ready to start back to work next week where I won't be home during his usual nadir time (although that has been happening at different times for the past few weeks).

My Howie doesn’t have pancreatitis but does have acromegaly. Two very different conditions but I know how you feel about being so overwhelmed and just wanting to not deal with it as there is so much to learn and do. Please hang in there and know that your Taz loves you for everything you’re trying to do for him. You’re not feeling sorry for yourself as everyone else has said. Take deep breaths and count to 10. You’ve got this!

Thank you. My heart goes out to you. I couldn't imagine handling acromegaly on top of this.

sorry to hear you are struggling mentally and emotionally Sara and I totally get it. Dealing with an unwell kitty is a big strain on your mental state and can be so frustrating, thinking there is improvement and then when there is a setback.

Sending you well wishes and good thoughts. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Sara, I followed you for a good reason. You're intuitive, honest and wouldn't be here if you didn't care. Life isn't always fair but you have friends here you can turn to even in the darkest moments. Better days are yet to come.

Thank you.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Sara, every cat is different and every caregiver is different. I knew my dentist's receptionist apparently loved her cat but after explaining how simple Nigel's treatment was it went in one ear and out the other. Her reply was "Oh sweety, that's when you know it's time for them to go". That's not you, you jumped into the deep end without any public drama or tears. What you feel privately I don't know and you don't need to share if you don't want to.
Nigel was the ideal patient and I had a great vet but there was that Saturday morning when I was sure I had just murdered him. He was just having a nap.
We all have things going on in our lives that remain private; a broken heart, money problems, dysfunctional relatives, how am I going to pay next month's rent. A sick cat is the very last thing we need but we all get through it.
You've done your research and you obviously care. In the end that's all that matters. You have more friends here than you realize. Honesty goes a long way here, learn to lean on us.