Need help with a difficult decision

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Nancy Lynne

Member Since 2020
Five years ago I moved out to a friend's ranch/winery to be an onsite person and keep an eye on things as they don't live here full time. Over time I assumed all the care and feeding and expense of all the animals including llamas, goats, sheep and outdoor cats because the owners are not very empathetic in that regard and I was happy to do it. One of the cats is about 12-13 years old and has diabetes, CKD and pancreatitis which is all controlled fairly well with a strict regimen of insulin, the correct food, phosphorus binders and vitamins (her name is Grandma). The problem is that it has come time for me to move and I am so anxious about the care of the animals after I leave, especially Grandma. I believe the owners are finding someone to look after the animals but there's no way Grandma will get the care she needs so I am trying to decide if I should euthanize her before I go. I can't take her with me and she wouldn't do well with re-homing. The thought of doing this in the next two weeks is incredibly sad, and I could just let nature take its course, but I don't know if that's the most humane thing to do. It would be one thing if she was sickly, but in some ways she's doing well despite everything she has going on. Appreciate any words of advice or support.
 
With only 2 weeks, that's asking a lot, but please contact DCIN on Facebook and send us a message. If you don't have Facebook, send me a private message by clicking on my name and choosing "start a conversation".

We have re-homed diabetic cats many times and they've done well....what makes you think she wouldn't handle it well?

Nancy Lynne said:
I believe the owners are finding someone to look after the animals but there's no way Grandma will get the care she needs so I am trying to decide if I should euthanize her before I go.
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If you can't take her with you and you're sure the owners wouldn't step up to give her the care she needs, the kindest thing would be to euthanize her before you leave. An untreated diabetic literally starves to death....Not a gentle or painless way to die, and while I'm sure it would be terribly hard on you, at least she'd be with the person she knows and trusts as she was released to move on.

DCIN can TRY.....and we sometimes have some good luck, but time is of the essence so the sooner, the better.
 
I too am curious why you think Grandma wouldn’t handle being rehomed well.

I can relate to what you’re going through. These types of decisions, and the personal responsibility we feel for their well being after being their caretaker for years, is gut wrenching.

I will tell you that although euthanasia is an option, I would personally consider it the very LAST option. I have taken in elderly/sick/injured barn cats who no one believed would ever adjust to being inside and who at various points in their life *did* actually freak out when brought inside. And you know what? We have a 100 percent success rate at not only transitioning them inside but having a happy, purry cat. I always worried about quality of life and would they be stressed and so forth with the changes. The ones I left behind tend to be the ones I regret. The ones I took in often surprised me.

Where are you located? It might be possible to find a temp foster until a longer-term solution can be found. If it doesn’t work, worst case scenario maybe she could be returned to the ranch or euthanized at that point. Cats are incredibly resilient creatures, so it’s a shame not to at least try to find someone who can take her on... especially because it sounds like she’s not ready to give up yet.

@Deborah & Muffy(GA) & Wendall do you have any thoughts? I know you’ve helped a lot of needy cats over the years.
 
I agree with above. If you can tell us where you live we may be able to help find a foster. Also check with your vet, they may also have some suggestions that may help.
 
I am in Plymouth CA. I don't think she'd do well being re-homed because she's always been an outdoor cat and a relatively feral one at that but she is very mellow with not a mean bone in her body. She's just never liked any other human except me. That said, I am open to re-homing if something could be worked out, but with this surprise move things are moving very fast. But I'm willing to give it a try. I did speak with my vet and she only offered euthanization, not any help with re-homing. I did just call a friend who works in the local shelter up here and she suggested I reach out to A-PAL which I'm going to do as well. I appreciate all the suggestions very much, and the support, and for the first time since I decided to move I have a little hope that something can be worked out.
 
So I hate to ask given you said you can’t take Grandma with you ... but since you’re her only trusted person, is there a chance you can take her short term? Or maybe take her later as a long term home once you’re settled, if someone can take her in the interim? I have been that “only trusted human” for an outdoor cat before so I truly sympathize with what you’re going through.
 
My mother is out of state and sick so I'm putting my things in storage and going to be with her. I don't know when I'll be settled in my own place again
 
I just read through all your posts and want to thank you for stepping up for all of the animals.

I don't consider a 12-13 yr old kitty as old and am also not convinced that she wouldn't do well in a new home. It saddens me that her outdoor-only status was not her choice but the fact that you can handle her, give her shots, etc. tells me she is not feral and could have a decent chance to happily spend her golden years indoors given the opportunity. The ferals that I've kept often turn out to be the best cats if given time to adjust at their own pace and seem to be grateful to finally be inside and safe. The only one who never warmed up ended up living in our basement for 14 years (her choice), a spiteful little tortie until the end.

You might reach out to no-kill rescues and feral TNR groups in your area and stress that she is more unsocialized than feral. Our local feral rescues successfully rehab and place cats all the time, and at least one deals with special needs. There are likely some where you are if you can get some direction to locate them. I'd be willing to try and work with her but I'm in Maine, about as far from you as possible, and that sort of trip would be very hard on her.

I agree with JL and others that leaving her there without the excellent care you've given her would be wrong and that you would regret it. It might be different if she were young and healthy but with all her medical issues, a slow and painful end is a certainty. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this awful situation.
 
It sounds like you're in a tough spot but little miracles happen all the time, have faith. Too much empathy is why two of our cats were 'confiscated' from former neighbors, why we adopted a 28 pound cat sight unseen and a 12 year old dog half dead with kidney issues. It can be hard on the soul but all of them lived healthy, happy and peaceful lives with us.
I've seen 17 year old cats get adopted, it's just a matter of luck and the right timing.
I Googled animal shelters near Plymouth and came up with these. Sorry if you've already done this but you won't know until you try right? Whether or not they're no-kill shelters is something I don't have the time to check. Best of luck and like everyone else I thank you for having a big heart.

A-PAL Humane Society, Animal rescue service in Sutter Creek, California
80 Ridge Rd B, Sutter Creek, CA 95685, 209-223-0410
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Amador County Animal Control
12340 Airport Rd, Jackson, CA 95642, 209-223-6378
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El Dorado County Animal Services
6435 Capitol Ave, Diamond Springs, CA 95619, 530-621-5795
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Foothill Dog Rescue of the Sierras
4131 S Shingle Rd, Shingle Springs, CA 95682, 530-676-3647
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Animal Outreach of the Mother Lode
6101 Enterprise Dr, Diamond Springs, CA 95619, 530-642-2287
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Sacramento SPCA
916-383-7387
 
Please don't take this as my official stance or any kind of criticism. You obviously have a kind heart and aren't blind to the bad things that can happen to our animal friends.
Grandma sounds like she's had a long and rough life and that's not your fault. Like Chris said earlier, "an untreated diabetic literally starves to death....not a gentle or painless way to die". We all do our best and sometimes there's just no options left, it's not about money or being selfish, life can be cruel. The combination of diabetes, CKD and pancreatitis are not growing old with dignity, it's misery.
To leave Grandma, at her age and with her medical conditions alone in the world would be a burden you may carry all your life. Some people don't understand that ending an animals suffering is a gift, it just doesn't feel that way. I've done it more than once, most of us have.
We know you'll do all you can do and always have, Grandma knows this and loves you for it. Now it's your turn to return that love however strange that sounds. We all support you. :bighug:
 
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