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Elizabeth B

Elizabeth B

Member Since 2017
Does anyone else battle exhaustion and depression during this process? Sometimes I just feel so inadequate. To boot, there are trade offs between caring for pets and caring for everything else in my life.

I am really struggling. I have two geriatric dogs (one with kidney disease and one with severe arthritis) and Hamilton won’t let anyone but me give him injections. I traveled once back home to see family for Christmas and it was disasterous for Hamilton. I’ve cancelled all work travel and can’t get away, not even for groceries. Luckily, my husband is a trooper and we can get things delivered, but I’m so worn down.

I have no idea how to cope at this point.
 
YES YES and YES

I have been doing the dance for almost 3 1/2 years, first with Tuxie (GA) and then a little over a year later his litter mate sister Maxie became diabetic. Tuxie was a Cushing's kitty as well as diabetic and his numbers were totally unpredictable, so my time became planned around his readings. I became obsessed with reading everything I could find on treatment of FD and Cushing's. If I wasn't testing or shooting or monitoring I was reading.

I am alone in dealing with the FD but luckily (although not financially lucky :) ) I am not working so I could do this. However the ongoing treatment, lack of sleep and little/no social life have probably aged me 10 years in this time. I would make tentative plans to do lunch with a long time friend...but those plans all depended on what the numbers were doing and were subject to cancellation at any time. Eventually I learned that I needed to make time for myself to keep my health and sanity and if reducing or skipping a shot so I could get at least one good sleep was necessary, then I did it.

I once had a medical scare..which turned out to only be stress (no surprise there)...and my first thought was that I couldn't be sick...I had to be there for my kitties. It is a fine balance with doing the very best possible for our furbabies and keeping ourselves healthy so that we are there to do this. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first for your mental and physical well-being. Caregiver burnout can happen when you are taking care of furbabies as well as people. Take some time to something for yourself..plan a short outing to do something that you enjoy...grab a nap when you get a chance...take a relaxing bubble bath ( maybe add some wine or chocolate to that ;)) and above all realize that you are doing a great job with your kitty even when your kitty is making it difficult sometimes. :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
Tuxedo Mom said:
I became obsessed with reading everything I could find on treatment of FD and Cushing's. If I wasn't testing or shooting or monitoring I was reading.
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That's me. I can not seem to get anything done because I am constantly reading up on stuff.
I've been dealing with this for about a month and got depressed shortly after Dx. I was already on anti-depressants but dealing with a sick kitty is difficult. Heck, my civvies are driving me insane lately because the won't eat what I give them. I've already concluded I won't be able to take any over night trips because I am the only one who can get close enough to take care of my sugar baby. I am hopeful he will go into remission and that helps keep me going.
 
I guess many of us are going to answer yes I've felt like that at one point or another, FD is stressful and tiring, And yes I've also spent way too many nights researching and canceled appointments missed a concert that I had bought tickets for nine months in advance, and so many more things you all probably already know, I eventually kind of stopped trying to do everything perfect and decided that I had to get a middle ground where he would be okay and I wouldn't get crazy or in an accident for falling asleep when I shouldn't and also get some resignation about the actual changes I had to do in my life like no long travels funny that was about the time he decided to go into remission so I think you do have to remember that first of all you have to be okay for him and if you are ok he will be better also
 
I have been dealing with Jones for about a year and half. My husband had a motorcycle accident at the same time. Plus we needed to say goodbye to our old drooler - which I loved with all my heart. Rough doesn't begin to cut it. I have lost track of friends over being always working outings around shots and testing.

I have learned to be better at saying it is ok to take a night off. I am lucky as DH due to his accident hasn't worked this whole time and has picked up the pieces of testing and is just now learning to shoot. Still will not draw the dose though.

I too, put my health at risk, which was not a great idea. That too has made me make sure to take time out for myself. I go for a work out twice a week. I hate working out but love the stress release.
 
Yes, I worry about all this constantly, I finally had to be put on meds, I was telling others yesterday that I go to work everyday wondering if I have given to much and I’ve killed him or I’ve not given enough to help him, I get so down because I want him to have a fun filled happy life and I wonder sometimes with everything I do to him ( he has been a trooper) if he really knows how much I love him and that I am really really trying to make him better. I don’t sleep much at night anymore cause if he meows I’m up, if I’m not at work I’m at home, if I didn’t have to work I wouldn’t I’m up every morning between 3 and 4, he wants me up, I used to have a kitty, his name was Baby,and he begged for me to pay attention to him for like 10 min and I kept telling him in a min, well that min never came as he passed away out of the blue right there beside me, I will never forget of forgive myself, so if 1 of my cats wants attention they get it no matter what I’m doing, you never know when it’s the last time, so I try and spend as much time with them as I can, am I insane now?. Lol I don’t know but I do what I can and always hope for the best
 
Yes - very many of us here can relate. We're dealing with a lot of things and it can be very tough to find a balance... we get worn down and worn out, tearful and frustrated a LOT of the time. Positive self talk can help as can realising you are not alone (this is one big family and we understand) - and at the risk of sounding trite, try to put some small things into your day that will lighten the load even just for a short while...something for YOU.
 
I eat ice cream every night now! I get mad, I get sad- I asked why does my Baby have to go through this too God? Shes already lost her eyes & now we’re back to not trusting momma! I’d give my life for this little girl if only she knew it...this does make depression almost unbearable. I’m all alone in this dance. No one tends to care except for you all! Sooo a big thank you for keeping me half sane & also smiling at so many posts! :bighug::bighug::bighug:
 
I've only been doing this for a little over a month and also very depressed and overwhelmed. I often lie beside Mishka on the floor just petting him and saying "do you know how much mommy loves you?" I think he does. I've lost many pets through the years, and I've always given my all, researching, staying up nights, worrying, etc. I owe the same to Mishka. Hopefully, I'll find a balance, which I'm sure Mishka would want for me. Thanks for everyone here for their support :)
 
It does get better. :bighug: After 5 years of caring for Neko with her two high dose conditions, I got to the point that I preferred the diabetes to the CKD, heart disease and lymphoma. Gather TONS of data. Know Thy Cat is more than a saying. Try to learn Hamilton's patterns. It made my life so much easier. It also helped me to move to Levemir (remember that ECID), cause I could shoot and go out the house. Morning errands and dinners/movies became a reality again. We used to take lots of holidays. We changed that to road trips where Neko could come with us. We've had members here even take their diabetic kitties camping.

Definitely prioritize taking care of you. Some people find yoga or exercise helps. I am fanatic about rowing and made sure I had time for my stress reliever. If you can, get family members on board with testing, shooting and feeding. That also opened up my life when I got day passes. Get your husband to keep trying. Make sure you set aside time each day that is just for you. And be patient with yourself, it will get easier. :bighug:
 
Elizabeth B said:
Does anyone else battle exhaustion and depression during this process? Sometimes I just feel so inadequate. To boot, there are trade offs between caring for pets and caring for everything else in my life.

I am really struggling. I have two geriatric dogs (one with kidney disease and one with severe arthritis) and Hamilton won’t let anyone but me give him injections. I traveled once back home to see family for Christmas and it was disasterous for Hamilton. I’ve cancelled all work travel and can’t get away, not even for groceries. Luckily, my husband is a trooper and we can get things delivered, but I’m so worn down.

I have no idea how to cope at this point.
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100% yes! Sometimes I get to the point where I just can’t cope anymore. Then Silver comes and snuggles up to me and I remember he is more than just his numbers. He’s my baby and knows all these pricks and needles are to help him. On top of all that, I nearly lost my mum right after Silver lost his remission and now my dad is also very sick and both the other side of the Atlantic from me. I need to see them and can’t leave Silver. I am so torn. It’s hard and I just tell myself to take bite sized chunks. Then I get a word of wisdom from @Jill & Alex (GA) to not look too far ahead and solve problems that are months away.

You can do it. We are all strangers on the internet but we share a common goal. It means we can be sharp, snappy and downright irritable when worried and depressed and know others are dealing with the same stress. I’ve probably upset half this board at some point - but it also means we are there for each other when it gets too much. Hang in there. :bighug::bighug:
 
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Oh my goodness, I feel you! We've been dancing with Dweezil for almost 3.5 years and especially in the past year, he's just been not good and very complex.

We have both had sobbing fits, wailing that we can't do this anymore, that we are emotional wrecks and that our lives have shrunken to the size of the point of a needle, and our days and moods are dictated by numbers and/or our baby's behaviour.

I am on anti-depressants in the morning and valium at night. And I still feel hideous and hopeless and trapped.

We try not to go away. But when we do, something bad happens (we have almost lost Dweezy 3 times in less than a year from DKA) so we can't even relax on vacation. He is right now in the specialist hospital, stable and ok after yet another bout of DKA, but just trying to find out why nothing is working. I cry for him. And me.
 
monty_dweezil said:
Oh my goodness, I feel you! We've been dancing with Dweezil for almost 3.5 years and especially in the past year, he's just been not good and very complex.

We have both had sobbing fits, wailing that we can't do this anymore, that we are emotional wrecks and that our lives have shrunken to the size of the point of a needle, and our days and moods are dictated by numbers and/or our baby's behaviour.

I am on anti-depressants in the morning and valium at night. And I still feel hideous and hopeless and trapped.

We try not to go away. But when we do, something bad happens (we have almost lost Dweezy 3 times in less than a year from DKA) so we can't even relax on vacation. He is right now in the specialist hospital, stable and ok after yet another bout of DKA, but just trying to find out why nothing is working. I cry for him. And me.
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I’m sorry for all that’s going on, I too am on 2 anti depressants and Xanax at night and just recently diagnosed with TMJ from where I constantly am stressed and I grit my jaws, I worry all the time and I just hope he know what all I do to him is because I love him, I’m really trying to take the advice of people on here that we have to make time for ourselves but it’s hard cause you are afraid to leave, so 1 day at a time sometimes it’s 1 min at a time, I’m glad we all have each other
 
Oh Bella, I was on Xanax too and wish I still was as it helped more than Valium, but it's almost impossible to get in Australia.

We are all emotional wrecks. It's not our poor babies' faults. I HATE Diabetes. I wish it did not exist.
 
monty_dweezil said:
Oh Bella, I was on Xanax too and wish I still was as it helped more than Valium, but it's almost impossible to get in Australia.

We are all emotional wrecks. It's not our poor babies' faults. I HATE Diabetes. I wish it did not exist.
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Oh I HATE it too, I cuss it everyday, I was laying with Bella this am, I do most mornings just to tell him how much I love him and to hear that wonderful purr of his and I hope so bad that he knows I’ve tried to give him the best life he could ever have. BTW, I would love to see Australia, it’s only my wish I could visit list, I bet it’s beautiful
 
It is beautiful, yes! One day you'll see it.

Dweezil is back home after yet more time at the hospital. But he is still not himself. And his pee stick was in between negative and trace so I just know that by tomorrow, he will have more ketones. Again.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
 
monty_dweezil said:
It is beautiful, yes! One day you'll see it.

Dweezil is back home after yet more time at the hospital. But he is still not himself. And his pee stick was in between negative and trace so I just know that by tomorrow, he will have more ketones. Again.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
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I am so sorry I wish there was something I could do to help you, I’m here for you if you just want to vent, scream, cry
I know those poor babies get sick of all this, I noticed you have and implanted monitor, wish I could get one for bella
 
A pub nearby!? lol. I don't even drink. Just my trusty pills.

Even with his monitor, we can't help Dweezil these days. We just can't get his numbers down.

What angers me is the only insulin that seems to work is the rapid acting IV one at the hospital, but...they always take him off it when he is still too high (in the pinks)! And then they start him back on his normal injections, which don't work that well. So he COULD have a chance for his body to get a real break and go into the blues before starting back on the normal insulin. Instead, he stays high the whole time, they get rid of the ketones but within 24 hours they're back. And they say as long as he eats, they're unlikely. SO incorrect. He eats a LOT.
 
Sometimes a comment from out in left field can reset the mental machinery. Please forgive me if this has already been discussed and I know this thread started for another reason.

Because Dweezil wears a monitor you see all his ups and downs in a day where you wouldn't if he didn't have the monitor. I suspect there are other kitties out here (mine included) who might have similar fluctuating BG levels through a cycle but we're blissful in our ignorance. I believe you've said he won't tolerate conventional BG testing. If he could be handled that way and you had enough (but less) test data over a cycle you'd dose according to that data and might well have raised his dose. If his clinical signs were good you'd think he was doing fine because you wouldn't be looking at a constant readout that has to be stressful.

Please don't shoot the messenger - just trying to help ...
 
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I do appreciate that. I wish we could test his ear.

Right now he is once again home from the vet after his ketones this morning were 4 x up the test strip (6 being the highest) and has again had intra-muscular insulin and fluids. The intra-muscular insulin doesn't really ever do much, but at least prevents his BG from climbing even more for 1-2 hours.

The caninsulin he is now on is not doing a whole lot. We want to increase the dose to 1.5 units as over 4 days we have seen no real nadir (definitely no fast drop at all) apart from maybe the lowest number being at about 7 hours) with 1 unit and still all pinks.

They want us to stick to 1 unit for a week though to see how it goes before changing, but with these constant varying ketones, we feel like we NEED to get his numbers down!
 
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I'm also annoyed that at the hospital, they took him off the IV insulin at still pink numbers (almost red). His body needed much lower levels for longer to help clear the ketones. They started on the low dose of caninsulin too early and so his numbers didn't go down and the result was that ketones were re-forming even as he was being discharged to us.
 
Yes. I wrote about this on Quintus's condo (my battle with my current unwanted unicellular pets deprives me of the courage to go and dig it out) but at one point I had the impression I was becoming extremely obsessive and that my whole relationship with Quintus had become medical. All my interactions were poking, injecting, feeding. It's really hard to find a balance, but it's super important to stay sane.
 
Heheh, I love that.

MY issue is that unfortunately my sugar fur doesn't do all the things he used to do. He hides, is less engaged, etc. We only get glimpses of the "normal" Dweezil and have for months.

Anyway, I now have another worry. His 1 unit of vetsulin wasn't doing much (keeping him in the low pinks at the lowest, no real nadir and no early drop, just extremely consistent numbers that don't change much until it wears off) so this morning after consultation with our main vet (not the hospital ones), we upped it to 1.5 units. I had hoped and expected that this would nudge him into the yellows, but instead, he is now in the reds. Sigh.

This morning his pee was negative for ketones for the first time in days, YAY, but for how long with these stupid high numbers!?
 
You are definitely NOT alone. Life is hard enough to balance, then to add someone with a lifelong medical condition we deeply love and care about--it can break us down from time to time. I tell myself it is okay to cry and have a breakdown, but it is not okay to unpack and stay there.
 
Stephanie & Quintus said:
Yes. I wrote about this on Quintus's condo (my battle with my current unwanted unicellular pets deprives me of the courage to go and dig it out) but at one point I had the impression I was becoming extremely obsessive and that my whole relationship with Quintus had become medical. All my interactions were poking, injecting, feeding. It's really hard to find a balance but it's super important to stay sane.
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"But it's super important to stay sane" Ditto!

Nice to see you still poking around. @Stephanie & Quintus
 
I didn't read all the posts. I am like Kris and Teasel. Leo gets kept in safe ranges. He rarely goes below 100. I try to get him into the 120-150 range at nadir. It's below renal threshold.

Yes, it's hard to go on vacation. Our last one was in 2016 and it wasn't good for Leo. We have found some good home sitters. That is the key. Maybe you could do a stay-cation by going to a hotel overnight and having a petsitter take care of your pet-kids for just one night.
 
We're trying to get Dweezil into safe numbers now. We don't care about remission or being at perfect or tightly regulated numbers. We just want under the renal threshhold. No risk of hypo or ketones.
 
Posted both in the Vetsulin and main forum. No replies yet.

Tonight he was HI at 4.30pm so we gave him his 1.5 units then. It is now 7.30pm. 3 hours. There has been no change at all. Still HI. It is just not working, just like the lantus didn't work anymore.

But WHY!?
 
Did you get any responses? This thread really isn't the place to discuss differences of insulins and why it isn't working.

Have you considered Prozinc? My cat did/does well on it, and I know many others have too. It is NOT a human insulin, so you would need to buy from your vet. Maybe post a new thread in Prozinc and provide a brief background in what you have tried. Many great people over there. They could also view spreadsheet.
 
Well today started out well and funny how your whole day can change and you worry till you can’t worry anymore, I’m exhausted, I try and try to do what’s best for bella and there always seems to be something new come up, last month he had uti and now again he is having trouble peeing again, I work so many hours I’m talking lots to provide all the things he needs, all this diabetic stuff is expensive and his food is crazy high, emergency vets, I don’t know what to do, I’ve just been laying 9n my bed crying, iHATE all this and wish he was my big white fur ball that is healthy, I feel like the harder I try the more that comes at me, I’m exhausted, thanks for listening, sorry was just having a melt down
 
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Maybe it is not for me to write here because my sugar cat died 3 1/2 years ago but I was absolutely over the top stressed when I cared for him. He was the cat love of my life and there were years of caring for him because of other issues but when he became diabetic it was just everything for me to hold on and cope day after day. Staying home didn't bother me too much but I would just go crazy if he didn't want to eat or even worse after shooting he would throw up. I got up multiple times at night to make sure he was eating and checking how he looked. When he died I was heartbroken but I was also relieved, his problems were over and my stress level dropped back to normal. I now have a cat who is on steroids and I am afraid she might become diabetic, if she does I am in trouble she is not the calm kitty that the other one was. That is why I still look at this site, seeing how people cope, tricks on testing, just in case. Crazy!
 
Shantismom said:
Maybe it is not for me to write here because my sugar cat died 3 1/2 years ago but I was absolutely over the top stressed when I cared for him. He was the cat love of my life and there were years of caring for him because of other issues but when he became diabetic it was just everything for me to hold on and cope day after day. Staying home didn't bother me too much but I would just go crazy if he didn't want to eat or even worse after shooting he would throw up. I got up multiple times at night to make sure he was eating and checking how he looked. When he died I was heartbroken but I was also relieved, his problems were over and my stress level dropped back to normal. I now have a cat who is on steroids and I am afraid she might become diabetic, if she does I am in trouble she is not the calm kitty that the other one was. That is why I still look at this site, seeing how people cope, tricks on testing, just in case. Crazy!
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I’m so sorry for your loss and I pray very hard that your kitty does not have and does not ever get diabetes, like u said if we worry all the time, if bella sneezes I think the worst, I watch everything he does when I’m home, thank you for sharing
 
Bellasmom said:
Well today started out well and funny how your whole day can change and you worry till you can’t worry anymore, I’m exhausted, I try and try to do what’s best for bella and there always seems to be something new come up, last month he had uti and now again he is having trouble peeing again, I work so many hours I’m talking lots to provide all the things he needs, all this diabetic stuff is expensive and his food is crazy high, emergency vets, I don’t know what to do, I’ve just been laying 9n my bed crying, iHATE all this and wish he was my big white fur ball that is healthy, I feel like the harder I try the more that comes at me, I’m exhausted, thanks for listening, sorry was just having a melt down
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Meltdowns are allowed. :bighug:
 
Shantismom said:
Maybe it is not for me to write here because my sugar cat died 3 1/2 years ago but I was absolutely over the top stressed when I cared for him. He was the cat love of my life and there were years of caring for him because of other issues but when he became diabetic it was just everything for me to hold on and cope day after day. Staying home didn't bother me too much but I would just go crazy if he didn't want to eat or even worse after shooting he would throw up. I got up multiple times at night to make sure he was eating and checking how he looked. When he died I was heartbroken but I was also relieved, his problems were over and my stress level dropped back to normal. I now have a cat who is on steroids and I am afraid she might become diabetic, if she does I am in trouble she is not the calm kitty that the other one was. That is why I still look at this site, seeing how people cope, tricks on testing, just in case. Crazy!
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I hope you'll be lucky and the steroids won't be a problem. I had a kitty many years ago who was on a heavy duty steroid for well over two years solid and she didn't develop diabetes - and she was a little on the hefty side too.
 
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