BAD KITTY!!!

[Sieden]

I hope that this isn't long... I'll do my very best to make it concise

It's important that you know all of the details that's why I'm going to try to include them all but make them as short and neat and to the point as possible. Crap it's so hard to pick a starting point lol.

7 years ago, I was dating Joe
We had Phoebe, Ginger and Peanut
I broke up with Joe and moved on, a few years later I started dating Dan. Sometime within that span I had to give up Phoebe but I made a promise to Joe that if that ever happened that he would be able to have her and so he came and got her from me. She lived with him for the next 5 or so years and the boys Ginger and Peanut have been with me ever since.

In the past few months I have been on one hell of a journey and Dan and I broke up after dating for almost 6 years. In the meantime I got back together with Joe which is something that I never thought would happen but it did.

So Phoebe, Ginger and Peanut are all back together in the same house. It's a new house to Ginger and Peanut and Phoebe has been running the show over here all by her little self for all this time and now the boys are back and she is PISSED!!! and she is letting EVERYONE know it.

She has taken to Peanut who used to be her boyfriend anyway, he tries to play with her and she won't stand for it but she tries to play with him only to run scared and growl when he reciprocates. She is so confusing.

She HATES Ginger, she won't even let him eat, they have their own cat room where I feed them and she will "eye" him all the way down the hall and make him sit outside the door, if he goes toward the door she will growl and approach him, it's beyond pathetic and I have to carry him into the room and stand there at the door to protect him while he eats. I've pretty much had ENOUGH but I don't know what to do about it. Joe said that she is trying to find her balance between the 2 cats because she clearly doesn't treat Peanut the way that she does Ginger. She even growls and hisses at me and she has attacked me once several months ago but now I've taken a much firmer stand with her and I refuse to back down from her growls even though I know that I'm putting myself into a very bad situation if she decides to attack me again.

I never raise my voice at her, I'll snap my finger at her and tonight I reached my boiling point when Peanut needed to eat and see she doesn't treat Peanut "that way" while I'm watching but I needed to turn my back for 2 seconds and she growled him off of the plate of food when his BG was 46 and I saw her sitting there alone eating, I snatched that food up from her so fast and then I got Peanut and Ginger both and took them into my office and locked her out so that they could eat in peace. I'm tired of her doing that because Peanut needed his food first, I don't have time to mess with her attitude and I don't know how to handle this anymore to be honest. She used to be so super sweet and I just don't know what happened to her.

If I describe her, she's grey and white, really small and retarded lol. I'm sorry if that word upsets you or offends you but we've always thought of her as our mentally challenged or retarded baby because that's just how she is, she's not as quick as the rest. I always called her a stoner, she seems permanently high on something, poor thing. But anyway she was always lively and loving and we could cuddle her but now she seems more like a demon cat. Maybe it will take more time and I'm just rushing things but I've been living here for a month I think and she's still acting like Satan.

I can make some video of this, that would be EASY! if that would help any of you to help me just say the word.

 

[JanetNJ]

I hope that this isn't long... I'll do my very best to make it concise

It's important that you know all of the details that's why I'm going to try to include them all but make them as short and neat and to the point as possible. Crap it's so hard to pick a starting point lol.

7 years ago, I was dating Joe
We had Phoebe, Ginger and Peanut
I broke up with Joe and moved on, a few years later I started dating Dan. Sometime within that span I had to give up Phoebe but I made a promise to Joe that if that ever happened that he would be able to have her and so he came and got her from me. She lived with him for the next 5 or so years and the boys Ginger and Peanut have been with me ever since.

In the past few months I have been on one hell of a journey and Dan and I broke up after dating for almost 6 years. In the meantime I got back together with Joe which is something that I never thought would happen but it did.

So Phoebe, Ginger and Peanut are all back together in the same house. It's a new house to Ginger and Peanut and Phoebe has been running the show over here all by her little self for all this time and now the boys are back and she is PISSED!!! and she is letting EVERYONE know it.

She has taken to Peanut who used to be her boyfriend anyway, he tries to play with her and she won't stand for it but she tries to play with him only to run scared and growl when he reciprocates. She is so confusing.

She HATES Ginger, she won't even let him eat, they have their own cat room where I feed them and she will "eye" him all the way down the hall and make him sit outside the door, if he goes toward the door she will growl and approach him, it's beyond pathetic and I have to carry him into the room and stand there at the door to protect him while he eats. I've pretty much had ENOUGH but I don't know what to do about it. Joe said that she is trying to find her balance between the 2 cats because she clearly doesn't treat Peanut the way that she does Ginger. She even growls and hisses at me and she has attacked me once several months ago but now I've taken a much firmer stand with her and I refuse to back down from her growls even though I know that I'm putting myself into a very bad situation if she decides to attack me again.

I never raise my voice at her, I'll snap my finger at her and tonight I reached my boiling point when Peanut needed to eat and see she doesn't treat Peanut "that way" while I'm watching but I needed to turn my back for 2 seconds and she growled him off of the plate of food when his BG was 46 and I saw her sitting there alone eating, I snatched that food up from her so fast and then I got Peanut and Ginger both and took them into my office and locked her out so that they could eat in peace. I'm tired of her doing that because Peanut needed his food first, I don't have time to mess with her attitude and I don't know how to handle this anymore to be honest. She used to be so super sweet and I just don't know what happened to her.

If I describe her, she's grey and white, really small and retarded lol. I'm sorry if that word upsets you or offends you but we've always thought of her as our mentally challenged or retarded baby because that's just how she is, she's not as quick as the rest. I always called her a stoner, she seems permanently high on something, poor thing. But anyway she was always lively and loving and we could cuddle her but now she seems more like a demon cat. Maybe it will take more time and I'm just rushing things but I've been living here for a month I think and she's still acting like Satan.

I can make some video of this, that would be EASY! if that would help any of you to help me just say the word.

Ha ha strong personalities. I have a cat that it took a year before she could be in a with ought fighting with the others.


One thing that helped a LOT was feliway plug-ins for multicats. If it runs out I know it from all the extra hissing. It's expensive but worth it to me to keep the peace. I buy it on amazon

 

[Sieden]

Ha ha strong personalities. I have a cat that it took a year before she could be in a with ought fighting with the others.


One thing that helped a LOT was feliway plug-ins for multicats. If it runs out I know it from all the extra hissing. It's expensive but worth it to me to keep the peace. I buy it on amazon

I was wondering if those things worked. I was about to cry thinking about how big this house is but I could always just buy a few that would hit the main areas right? I heard that spraying lavender water would help so I tried that and no luck. Phoebe hates all toys except for these 2 with catnip and then she turns into the spawn of Satan, I'm not kidding. I can't let her near those toys lol. She's like Cujo HAHA.

You know about the personalities
Peanut usually just walks right past her no matter what, even if she's growling of hissing. He's like "whatever girl, talk to the paw" and he just continues with whatever he's doing but Ginger is a complete PUSS lol. Even though Ginger is a boy and he is bigger than her by a lot he is just scared of everything other than cockroaches and other Peanuts.

 

[JanetNJ]

I was wondering if those things worked. I was about to cry thinking about how big this house is but I could always just buy a few that would hit the main areas right? I heard that spraying lavender water would help so I tried that and no luck. Phoebe hates all toys except for these 2 with catnip and then she turns into the spawn of Satan, I'm not kidding. I can't let her near those toys lol. She's like Cujo HAHA.

I put out two in the rooms she hangs out most in. One in my room one in the kitchen.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Less of this, More of this. Yes, with my Magic Beans anything is possible! Call now!

 

[Maggies Mom Debby]

Put a Feliway in the "cat" room first to see if it helps. I don't think covering the whole house is necessary. You want to have a safe place for eating and litter. Maybe another in the main room of the house or the bedroom if they sleep with you. I have Feliways in two places - one in the "cat room" with their food, litter and beds; and one in the main living room. The Feliway helps a lot.

 

[Squalliesmom]

I use Feliway, too. I have a tiny little Bengal who is the spawn of satan, lol. She is a MEAN GIRL and all the boys are terrified of her. She really stresses my other Bengal, she is merciless with him because she knows he is scared to death of her. Without Feliway, either I, one of the Bengals, or all of us would be on Prozac, lol!

 

[Yong & Maury GA]

Any chance of creating a Kitty Highway?

 

[Marvin's Mom - Nat]

I was thinking the same thing, about a kitty highway. Also maybe using one of Jackson's other tricks, reintroducing them a little slower at food time. I love "cat from hell", you may want to see if you can watch a few episode with multi cat problems on the internet. From what I can tell from watching the show sometimes it good to focus on the one that is scared and make him more confident, as a dominant cat will target the poor thing. Other times it's focusing on the one with the bad behavior, by finding ways to tire them out a bit more, and let them know they are home and safe.

What a couple shows, see if they give you any ideas.

 

[Sieden]

I was thinking the same thing, about a kitty highway. Also maybe using one of Jackson's other tricks, reintroducing them a little slower at food time. I love "cat from hell", you may want to see if you can watch a few episode with multi cat problems on the internet. From what I can tell from watching the show sometimes it good to focus on the one that is scared and make him more confident, as a dominant cat will target the poor thing. Other times it's focusing on the one with the bad behavior, by finding ways to tire them out a bit more, and let them know they are home and safe.

What a couple shows, see if they give you any ideas.

I like that show, I might have to watch it over a few times to see if something clicks. I just around a sprayed the house again with Lavender water because I couldn't get out today. As far as the Feliway goes, maybe 1 in the cat room which I feel is really wasted since they only ever eat in there and barely pass each other. The rest is the huge a$$ kitchen and the master bedroom because all 3 of them sleep with us and we cook together because he's a professional chef and I'm a chef because I said so!

I guess the Feliway in the cat room wouldn't really be a waste to start off with because they usually all try to eat at once. It's so stupid. I've tried 3 bowls and I've ended up with 3 cats just looking at me with blank stares because they don't know what to do. Peanut and Pheobe can eat from the same large plate as long as I'm near enough to not allow her to chase him off. She doesn't even try to chase him off until I turn my back, So yep Feliway in cat room too!

 

[Sieden]

Hey thanks for the video, I found it helpful. I have 2 baby gates that I can stack so I can switch the cats and put Peanut and Ginger together so that Ginger will feel safe with his brother in there with him and Phoebe is less likely to act out if Peanut is in there since she likes him. I can see if that works. Then switch and put her in and leave them out. All this assuming that I have the Feliway in place, I'm going to be ordering those here soon.

 

[Marvin's Mom - Nat]

I am sure you will find a way, just be patient with yourself and them. I don't have multi cats, but did try feliway for the first time yesterday for my kitty visit to a specilist as he is terrified of the car. It didn't help with him peeing in the crate, as it's the first thing he does when he sees the crate, but he did cry less in the car and went back in the crate on his own (almost) at the vets office which he has never done before.

 

[Sieden]

I haven't slept in in 48 hours, I've been hearing this ***** hiss and Joe complain about me keeping him awake. I'm about 2 second from dosing Peanut and leaving for a hotel. I'm so F'ing mad and sleep deprive right now that I just want to scream and I hope that I don't take it out on Phoebe because she's testing my last reserve and Joe should be awake right now taking control of her but he drank too much last night and all that I want to do is f'ing tear this house down

 

[Tracey&Jones (GA)]

I would start with a reintroduction. Separate Phoebe from the rest. She feels like her home and sanctuary is being invaded right now and she is probably just as stressed as you.

There have been some great suggestions given, the feli-way I use as I have seen it work in my household and can always tell when it has run out, the re-introduction using the feeding technic, rotating who has the run of the house, separate the feeding area bit - I have 4 cats that eat in sight of each other but not side by side.

The big thing - be prepared for them not to be friends but willing to peacefully co-habitat. I have that in my household. I do have to referee now and again but we don't have the drag out fights happening.

 

[Sieden]

I would start with a reintroduction. Separate Phoebe from the rest. She feels like her home and sanctuary is being invaded right now and she is probably just as stressed as you.

There have been some great suggestions given, the feli-way I use as I have seen it work in my household and can always tell when it as run out, the re-introduction using the feeding technic, rotating who has the run of the house, separate the feeding area bit - I have 4 cats that eat in site of each other but not side by side.

The big thing - be prepared for them not to be friends but willing to peacefully co-habitat. I have that in my household. I do have to referee now and again but we don't have the drag out fights happening.

I hear ya, I feel like I know what to do but I need a fresh day to do it and I'm not getting that here. I've already packed my bags. I'm about to test Peanut and feed these guys then I'm gonna shower and head out. I can't stand hearing her hiss one more time before I choke her.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Joe complain about me keeping him awake. Joe should be awake right now taking control of her but he drank too much last night

Okay, no more cutesy pics. I'm going to cross the line here but just finish through and maybe something might make sense. I've dated a lot of single moms way back then and I knew that the kids were a package deal. If Joe wants you he has to keep up his end of the deal, the cats are your kids and he knew that going in and he's familiar with the cats, you didn't turn into a crazy cat lady overnight. When I met Cynthia I had a long and beautiful pony-tail and she could wear short skirts. Now we're talking about the possibility of having her brother live with us because he's drank himself to near death. We're getting older and it sucks. Noah is old and a gentle soul but Lewis is just stupid and rude. He steals food right off of Noah's dish and it makes my blood boil. Cynthia thinks I over react, it doesn't cause friction between us thank God. The reality is that I'm some guy on the internet who is in no position to judge you. I'm not rolling my eyes and shaming you, I see your point, enough is enough. You cannot take care of a cat until you take care of yourself. I feel helpless and stupid saying "I feel your pain" but I do. I'm definitely NOT some TV doctor telling you there are "plenty of fish in the ocean" or "You go girl". Idiotic sayings don't fix things, they just sell tee shirts. It's way more complicated than that but before you lose your marbles promise us you won't plow into a tree because you had tears in your eyes. Tracey has it right, "Be prepared for them not to be friends but willing to peacefully co-habitat". That's it, the total extent of my wisdom other than "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". We all thank you for sharing, I know that could not have been easy.
from Dickson and all these cats around me, and all your friends who stick by and listen. We hope things get better, keep in touch. Sorry if that crossed a line, I know it did.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

Once again I need to clarify, remove foot from mouth etc. This always happens after I leave the house. I did not mean to slam Joe so hard. Don't pick on someone when they're not here right? What's much worse is that it could conceivably have looked like I thought you were some poor IHOP waitress who keeps making bad choices and you so desperately needed my help. Joe is not some schmuck you met last week and you're not some gullible lonely spinster. So that's it, really sorry, and less than 500 words!

 

[JeffJ]

Instead of a single video, you could definitely create your own soap opera. Probably better than some of the fake "reality" shows that get plastered across mass media now.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

No word yet? I don't know which is worse to feel like...

 

[Tracey&Jones (GA)]

How are things going today? Hope you got some rest and were able to put a plan together.

 

[Sieden]

Okay, no more cutesy pics. I'm going to cross the line here but just finish through and maybe something might make sense. I've dated a lot of single moms way back then and I knew that the kids were a package deal. If Joe wants you he has to keep up his end of the deal, the cats are your kids and he knew that going in and he's familiar with the cats, you didn't turn into a crazy cat lady overnight. When I met Cynthia I had a long and beautiful pony-tail and she could wear short skirts. Now we're talking about the possibility of having her brother live with us because he's drank himself to near death. We're getting older and it sucks. Noah is old and a gentle soul but Lewis is just stupid and rude. He steals food right off of Noah's dish and it makes my blood boil. Cynthia thinks I over react, it doesn't cause friction between us thank God. The reality is that I'm some guy on the internet who is in no position to judge you. I'm not rolling my eyes and shaming you, I see your point, enough is enough. You cannot take care of a cat until you take care of yourself. I feel helpless and stupid saying "I feel your pain" but I do. I'm definitely NOT some TV doctor telling you there are "plenty of fish in the ocean" or "You go girl". Idiotic sayings don't fix things, they just sell tee shirts. It's way more complicated than that but before you lose your marbles promise us you won't plow into a tree because you had tears in your eyes. Tracey has it right, "Be prepared for them not to be friends but willing to peacefully co-habitat". That's it, the total extent of my wisdom other than "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". We all thank you for sharing, I know that could not have been easy.
from Dickson and all these cats around me, and all your friends who stick by and listen. We hope things get better, keep in touch. Sorry if that crossed a line, I know it did.

Sorry to hear about her brother and the drinking, I know all about that. You said plenty of things that made sense and thanks for understanding my situation. I never ended up leaving the house, I just sat here and fell asleep in my computer chair lol. Joe came and found me later and took me to bed and everything ended up okay.

 

[Sieden]

Once again I need to clarify, remove foot from mouth etc. This always happens after I leave the house. I did not mean to slam Joe so hard. Don't pick on someone when they're not here right? What's much worse is that it could conceivably have looked like I thought you were some poor IHOP waitress who keeps making bad choices and you so desperately needed my help. Joe is not some schmuck you met last week and you're not some gullible lonely spinster. So that's it, really sorry, and less than 500 words!

No need for sorries at all, I didn't take offense to what you said. Joe doesn't drink that often and I think that I made our relationship pretty clear so yeah, we're not strangers lol. But yeah, no need to apologize.

 

[Sieden]

So here's an update. I did get some sleep, not enough but I'm about to go back to bed here in a minute. I ordered 4 of the Feliway starters for multicat households from Amazon today and they should be here day after tomorrow. I also got a bottle of the Feliway spray for the end of the bed. All day long I have been using my essential oil diffuser with chamomile and lavender and about an hour ago Phoebe decided to start playing the Peanut and Ginger and didn't growl or hiss. Maybe the diffuser will be enough to keep her calm after the Feliway runs out. I'm still going to use that when it gets here but I hope that I didn't just buy it for nothing lol.

 

[Noah & me (GA)]

 

[Sieden]

So I got the 4 Feliways today. I am only using 2 right now. I have an upstairs that opens up with a walkway all the way around the top of the stairs and a little area up there for gaming or whatever so I put one on each side of that space and I think that should cover most of where they cross each other, where they lay, play and sit. One of them is close enough to the cat room that it should cover that area too. Joe doesn't want one in the bedroom because he's scared of it lol. The cats were instantly drawn to it when I took it out of the package but we'll see if they do any good.